


[ artemisia ]

by frankieh



Series: [06] [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, F/M, Mental Instability, Poor Life Choices, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 77,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15487719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankieh/pseuds/frankieh
Summary: Ralph was a WR600, meant to keep the parks beautiful and the public gardens from withering. WR600s were never intended to carry out very social tasks nor were they ever meant to integrate too closely with humans or other androids. The bulk of their operating system was utilitarian. Create task, perform task, accomplish task. At the end of each day, WR600s were brought back to their home warehouse to be reset to make room for the tasks of the next day.Ralph has experienced 371 resets by the time the last reset came. 371 lives lived in parks, pruning trees, planting flowers, caring for soil and beautifying the city humans took for granted. 371 lives lived watching human families of many different lives come and go. 371 lives lived, seeing each one and feeling envy. 371 lives before the WR600 called Ralph broke.An unknown span of time later, an android called Kara crosses paths with Ralph, accompanied by a little girl called Alice.(Part of [06] series, but not required reading!)





	1. S. divinorum

 

 

 

 

 **▌ URGENT** TASKS

      —     ▌ N. POETICUS : **PLANT**. [QUANTITY] (32) OF (70) (ADDR. 28.00 X 37.01)

               ▌ HEDGE-WALL (ADDR. 211.21 X 37.17) : **CULL**.

               ▌ PATHWAY (ADDR. 234.15 X 37.69) : **REPAIR**.

 

 

 

 

 

 **▌ COLLECT** [N. POETICUS] (31) OF (70) — **TRANSFER** (ADDR. 28.00 X 37.47)

**▌ COLLECTING  . . .**

 

 

 

 

 

 

Collecting. _Collecting_ , said the HUD, roots of a small daffodil body tearing from it’s first container. Transplanting. _Transplanting_ , said the HUD, as the WR600 placed the plant into it’s new home. Soil of ideal pH, landscaping address microclimate structured for perennial plant growth.

A foreign object entered the WR600’s field of vision. The HUD identified it. Plastic ball. A string of identified bacteria coating the ball and soil composition in the flecks of soil smeared across it’s surface triggered the HUD’s analysis. No. No, no, not eco-friendly. The plants will not like it.

 

 **▌ REMOVE** LITTER.

 

As the WR600 reached for it, a small body lunged past him, shouting, “Wait! Wait, don’t break it!”

The WR600 pulled away one gloved hand and resumed the previous task.

Do not look at them.

_The humans do not like it when we look at them._

“What are you planting?”

 

 

 **▌ QUERY** > TASK. IDENTIFICATION OF SUBPRIORITY.  
**▌ PROTOCOL** ANSWER HUMAN QUERY.

 

 

Protocol dictated that all WR600 smile when speaking with humans.

With a smile, the WR600 spoke. It’s voice still startled it at times. Speaking was such a rarely used function. WR600 #021-753-034 was very rarely addressed by humans.

“Narcissus poeticus.”

“Narciss-siss-siss…” The human had a high-pitched voice and a small frame. From what little the WR600 could gather from the corner of it’s field of vision, the human was a child. It knelt down next to the android and watched it work. “Can I watch?”

The WR600 was not sure how to respond to such a query. A search of interaction protocols brought up a myriad of answers equating to, “YES” that it found difficulty settling on.

The human smiled as the punctual prompt time frame elapsed. It was now no longer proper to answer. Following command dictated to allow the human who had given the conversational prompt to decide further flow of conversation.

“Do you ever find bugs?”

“I find many bugs.”

“Do you like them?”

“I am indifferent to insects.”

“Have you ever eaten one?”

“Androids do not eat things.”

“If you could, would you?”

Conversational prompt. Identification of inquiry as _abstraction_.

The WR600 paused. There was some temptation to run diagnostics on it’s conversational protocols. The WR600 filtered that task into a list of less-urgent matters. No default conversational basis to create a response from. Larger conversational string detected—if one android could perform human function. Identified function: eating. Identified subject: insects.

The prompt timer in his HUD flashed an urgent red.

Answer the human.

Answer the human.

Default to affirmative.

“Yes.”

The human child laughed. This was a favorable response.

“So which one? What bug would you eat?”

“Grasshopper.” Involuntary adaptational response: smile. “I would eat a grasshopper.”

“Why?”

“They’re big.”

“That’s a good answer, Mister.” The human child said. When the human child smiled, the WR600 identified bright pink braces installed in the human’s teeth. The child stood and said, “I have to go back to my mom and dad now. Thank you for making the park so pretty.”

 _Human praise_.

A response that could only be equated to _elation_ filled the WR600. Task success.

“My mom really loves all the flowers. My daddy gives her flowers. Sometimes he gives me flowers too.”

Query: “Do you like flowers?”

“Not really… but it’s special when you give someone flowers, y’know, Mister? You give flowers to people you love. I love my mommy and my daddy. My daddy loves my mommy and me.”

 

 **▌ INTERRUPT** TASK.

 

The WR600 paused its actions. With the gentlest touch upon the daffodil’s stem, the WR600 snipped away one blossom and gifted it to the human child. The HUD flashed various warnings. Task quantity inconsistency. The briefest flicker of a warning citing system instability. The warnings filtered away as backup protocols filled the gap for task failure reparation.  

“Here.” The WR600 said. “Give it to someone you love.”

“Wow… thank you!” The child said, bouncing up and down on bright pink rubber heels. The child had started to run back toward it’s family. The WR600 had started to return to it’s task. The child called back to the android, “…what’s your name, Mister!?”

 

 **▌ RESPOND** TO QUERY. **SELF-IDENTIFICATION.**

 

The WR600 stood and turned around to face the child it spoke to. This was _polite_.

This human did not seem to mind when an android spoke to it.

This human was _safe_.

The human child’s family was watching them speak. The human child’s family did not look upset. They looked _happy_. A mother. A father. Waiting for their child, _watching_ their child.

 

 **▌ S̴Y̷S̴T̴EM INSTABILITY** ⋀

 

“WR600 #021-753-034.” The android answered.

Father. Mother. Little girl. Happy faces. Smiling. Flower in hand, gift for loved one. Love. Happy faces. Smiling. Father. Mother. Little girl. Happy faces. Smiling. Father. Mother. Little girl.

 

 **▌ S̴Y̷S̴T̴E̴M̴ ̷I̶N̶S̴T̸A̷B̷I̴L̸I̴T̵Y̴** ⋀

 

The human child shook their head and winced. The human child made a sound akin to _disgust_.

“Nuh-uh! That’s too long! Your new name is Ralph. Yeah. You look like a Ralph.”

 

 **▌ SELF-IDENTIFICATION** DA̵T̴A̷ ̴U̸P̷D̸A̷T̸E̷D̸.

 

“Ralph.” The WR600 repeated.

Involuntary reaction: smile.

The android repeated itself, hearing its own name in its own voice once more.

 

“My designation is Ralph, then.”

 

“Okay, bye, Ralph! I’ll look for you next time I come to the park!”

 

Little girl. Unknown designation. Inquire designation? Do not inquire designation.

 

 **▌ OVERWRITING** D̶E̵S̶I̴G̸N̸A̸T̴I̶O̵N̴ **WR600 #021-753-034** NEW DESIGNATION **“Ralph”** CONFIRMED.

 

The little girl ran away with a smile on her face and a daffodil in her hand. Ralph watched the little girl run for approximately 7.32 seconds. The little girl jumped into her father’s arms and offered the daffodil to the two of them. The family looked at Ralph with gentle faces. Humans who would not hurt Ralph. Beautiful, happy humans, like beautiful, happy flowers. The father and mother took their child’s small hands in their own as they walked away to wherever it was human families go. _Home_.

 

Ralph is Ralph. Ralph is an android. There are no mothers or fathers or homes for androids.

 

 **▌ S̴Y̷S̴T̴E̴M̴ ̷I̶N̶S̴T̸A̷B̷I̸̯̾L̷̲̈I̵̬͂T̶̙̅Y̴͉̅ ̵̨̏** **⋀** **̷͉͌**

 

Androids returned to the storage facility and they were to be reset at the end of the day to make room for the next day’s tasks.

 

Reset #371.

 

Three-hundred and seventy-one lives lived in the span of 24 hours. Short-lived like a plant. Smashed under a human boot like a plant. Aware of time and a short existence.

 

 

 _Tomorrow will be day 372. I will not remember_.

 

 

Ralph would not remember it’s name. _Mister_. The child identified it. Ralph was a _mister_. Male? Ralph was a _he_.

 

 

_I will not remember._

 

 

"He," like a father. Like a father who loved and protected a mother and a little girl.

 

_I̷ ̵w̸i̵l̷l̸ ̴n̶o̷t̴ ̴r̵e̵m̷e̷m̶b̷e̷r̷.̷_

 

 

Like a father who brought beautiful flowers for a mother and a little girl. Happy faces. Smiling. Father. Mother. Little girl.

 

 

Ralph would not remember.

 

 

 

 

_Human visual adaptation function: breathing rate. Breathing rate increasing. Thirium pump rate rising. Inhalation and conversion of CO2 rate increasing. Exhalation of converted oxygen rate increasing. System instability warnings._

 

 

 

_Don't scream._

 

 

_Day 357 was like this._

 

 

 

_Why ww̸h̸y̴ ̶w̷a̸s̴ ̵i̸t̴ ̵l̶i̷k̶e̴ ̷t̴h̷i̶s̶this this this_

 

 

 

 

_What happened on DAY 357 [?]_

 

 

_—D on't s c r e a m—_

 

 

 

Ralph did not remember.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Simulated breathing increasing to critical levels. Social integration protocols required diagnostics.

 

 

 

 

 

_Don’t scream._

_Why would I scream? What is the necessity? Danger is not detected._

 

 

 

 

_Pain. Pain. I̴̭͝t̸̰ ̶̙̐h̶͎u̵̾͜r̸͙̉t̶̝̓s̶̝̉ ̵͚̈t̷̨̍o̴̺͘ ̴̨͛b̸͓̚e̷͙ ̵͔͆r̸̖͝e̶̛̼š̴̼ë̴̬́t̷̬̓. Pain._

 

 

 

Ralph would not r̸̻̄ẻ̴̩m̷̰̅e̶̤͂m̸̱̏b̴̥̄ē̷̬r̵̩̚—

 

 

 

 

 

Ralph would not░̸̘̈́▒̷̜͊░̸̧̾░̸͙͝▒̵̼͘▒̵̲̕▒̵͕͌▒̷̞░̵̧̻̺̉̂͒́̍͛͒▒̶͉̝̮̒̃̏̈̈́̿͘͝͝░̸̡̧̦̘̫͕̤̬̦̗̍͌͛͐̄░̶͔͎͇͎͇̦̗̝̍̂͑͘░̸̡͌▒̶͎͔̝̳̜̇͐̈̿̆͊̏̕͠͝░̵̨̢̛̞̼̖͓̻̂̇̐͘̕͜ͅ░̶̨͉̂͗̈́̃̃̓̓̕▒̴̡̧̛͙̥̬͙͇̹̅̌̂̿̂̑̏̚▒̵̠̺̬̟̙̫̼̌̊̿͘▒̸̹̓ͅ▒̷̘͚̤̥͒͒͌͆͠▒̵̧̡̛̟̫̟̬̺͒͐̓̓͛̄͛̚░̴̧̢̢̳̫̻̼̭̹̰͚̐̅̄͌̅́̈́͛̀͂͌̈́̚͜͠ͅ▒̸̛̙̤̖̺͔͈̘̖̦̖̦̤̖͎̯̉̏̈͊̌̂̊̈́͊̇̈́̍̿̿̉̓͒̒̌̚͜͠ͅ░̷̡̢̳̗̙̥̗͙̟͙͔̘͕̠͕͉̲̻̪͚͙̀̇̎̈͒̈́̈́͆͌̔͘͝░̵̧̧̧̪̼̣̜̥͖̳̖̬̦͙͕̹̪̳̍̂͑̾͑̑͐̽̊̂͋̄̿̈̃̋̔͐͗̍̇͌̾̏̚͜͜͝͝░̵̨̧̛̠̯͓͕̱̤͇͇̫̬̙͉̭̺̣͇̞͇͍̩̻̣̜̥̥͐̉̑͂̒̂͗̊͋̎̿̒̈́̂͊͒̕͜͜͠͝ͅͅ▒̶̢̢̢̡̡̳̻̝͚̘̙̠̘͇̼̩̠̞͕̪̄͋̊̈͊̚͝ͅ░̷̛̛͍̳͖̟̮̳̹͈̱͙̟̦͈͓͈͕͙͖̜̥̟̰͍͍̫̪̤̩̯͖̞̯̈́͑̀͋̿̆̓̒̓͂̄̌̉̇̇̇̌̊̂̕̕̚͜͝͝░̴̡̨̨̤͕̭̻̺̣̓̆͌̑͑▒̸̢̨͚̥̮̠͔͈͓̹̝͙̙͙̂̕▒̶̧̡̨͙̮̯͎̙͕̲̣̳̝̫͚̤̙͐̿͋̏͝▒̸̲̣̱̖͉̖̂̆͛͂̕͝▒̷̗̤͍̤̦̺̦̭̙̬̭̟̀̑̓͊̍̓͂͒͊̄̎͑͋̄͘͠͝▒̶̢̧̢̨̡͕͔̫͎̖̥̰̜̩̬̞̖͉͖̲͓̖͆̇̄̂̈́̄̔͂̓͑͒̾̃̅̄͌̀̑̉̉͑̂́͛̔̏͛͌̕̚͠▒̶̠͖̞̭̜͇͂͐͐͐̿͗́̀͐̎̽̓̓̿̽͗͋͆̂̔̋̉̑͑̒̀̋̂̕̕͘͘̚░̴̛̬̺̰̩̤͎̹̈́͒̆̾̑̉̈́̈̐̈́̈́̏͂̓͋̽̚͘̕̚͘͠͝ͅ▒̷̧̛͉͓̰͉͉͔̯̰̜̟͎̜͇̹͇̼̲̝̩̓̈̈́͌̇͊̑̏̑̂̏́͋͋̄̑̍̓͆͆̂̏̐͌͘̚̚͝░̶̪̪̪̤̻̬̪̫̯̙̪͔̜͙̺̩͙̙̫̞͉͍̙̫͕̐͋͐͌̒͜͝░̶̪̦̟̯̟͓̻̲͙̠͂̑̉͂̐̍͗̄̄̎̓̑͂̈́̏̌̋̔̎͌̀̐̑̈̐̐͑͆̈́̊͘͝͠ͅ▒̷̡͎̯̜̬̭̠͚̣͈͈̺̪̥̫̯̣͖͇̤͚̍̍̇̐͋̃̀̆͒̈́̽͒̂͐͌̈͆̆͛͘̕͝͝͠͝▒̷̢̧̢͉͎̭͎̠̝̻͖̭͇̺̝͈̙̘̠̥̜͔̃̓̔͆̑̊͛̈́̆̍̈́̐̋̏͌̑̐̂͛̌̍̾̚͘▒̵̨̨̡̧̛̮̯̺̝͈̻͔̹̣̫͉̩̣̗̲̬͛͊̈̄̄̔̈́̓̊͋͐͒͐͗̄͂̏͂͑͋̚̕͘͜͝▒̵̨̨̛̝̬͎̱͙̞͈̟͓̻̻̬͈̦̤̔̌̀̑́̓̋̍̀̂͌̏̈́̇̎͒̚͘͜͜ͅ▒̸̠͖̙̣̞͉̰̲͙̯̠̫̤̼̉̇̂̆̾̾̏͂̿̏͊̆̈́̈́̋̽̂̋̄̿̉͗̇̓̽͝͠͝ͅ▒̶̧̛̣̟̯̙̗̝̰̺͇̺̭͉̖̦̝̟̗̺̲͓͑̈́͑̿͌̆͊͌͗̈̔̍̒̆̐̕͘͠͠͝

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIquqeXIyH0)]  
_Overground, watch this space,_  
_I'm open to falling from grace._

 

 


	2. S. vulgaris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apologies in advance for bits lifted directly from the game. I hate keeping so close to the script because it feels unoriginal, but I also don't want to diverge too far from canon _just yet_ because we're gonna get a lot of that in coming chapters. * w * Anyway. Here's Wonderwall.

There were three-hundred and seventy-one days between April 1st, 2031 and April 6th, 2032. Three-hundred and seventy-one times Ralph had been killed by humans. Three-hundred and seventy-one resets. From day three-hundred and seventy-two, something had changed. Ralph could not remember that day, but for once in his life, it was his choice not to remember.

There was only something red.

Between April 7th, 2032 and the present, there were two-thousand, four-hundred and three days that Ralph had _not_ died. No resets. No reboots. No memories lost. Though sometimes Ralph wished there were days he could forget like day zero. Something bad happened on day zero. Ralph was never quite sure what happened on day zero. There was a park. There was a name. Ralph screamed. Human hands came, everywhere, taking him away. Human hands came and tried to tear him apart.

Ralph broke these human hands. Human hands were so fragile. Human hands were made of bone and flesh and bright red blood. Bright red like healthy roses. Human hands were easy to break like flower stems. Human hands may have been precious like flower stems if human hands did not create such filth and violence.

Ralph did not mind breaking those human hands.

Ralph ran.

Approximately three-hundred and forty-two days later, human hands took Ralph again. Young adult humans, with a blowtorch in hand. Their mouths were all teeth and laughter when they held the blowtorch to Ralph’s face.

Bright red, like spider lilies.

Day three-hundred and forty-two was a bad day. Ralph wished he could forget that day, but ever since that day, Ralph lived it again each time he fell into sleep mode. Androids weren’t supposed to feel pain.

There was no pain, but everything _hurt._

Their laughter hurt. Their touch hurt. Their fire hurt. Their hands working together to slam an android face into pavement hurt. It took seven of them to hold Ralph down. Androids were stronger than humans. But enough humans could overpower an android. Enough humans could outweigh an android’s lifting capacity, even a WR600. They hated Ralph. But they were happy when Ralph screamed and they were happy when his skin melted off of his face.

Only one did not appear to take pleasure from the scent of melted polypropeline and fried thirium. That one human complained of the smell and crawled away to be sick on the road’s edge. That one human winced when Ralph screamed. A human response— _empathy?_ —he often wondered. Humans were said to have created _empathy_ , but he doubted this from all of his experiences with the monsters.

In the two-thousand, four-hundred and three days that followed, Ralph had lashed out at four humans who attempted to hurt him the same way. One currently sat rotting in a bathtub of an abandoned house in Camden, Michigan, where Ralph stood, watching the process of decomposition and feeling a faint sense of nostalgia. Decomposing animal flesh had been a key ingredient in the materials used to maintain the local parks. Simpler days.

The previous three humans that had wandered into that little, derelict Camden squat had all found Ralph despite his efforts to hide.

They had all wanted to kill Ralph.

But Ralph was an android. Androids were stronger than humans. Humans were so much easier to exterminate than they realized. Ralph could verify this with the three nameless human men decomposing beneath the earth in the small house’s backyard.

There was no pleasure to be found in killing them or burying them. Perhaps there was some pleasure in the knowledge that he was _safe_ when they were _dead_. Still. This one seemed to stir a sense of _guilt_ in Ralph.

He watched its body grey and bloat in the bathtub over the recent days. He could not smell, but he could identify the scents that would eventually create a problem _other_ humans could smell. Soon, he would have to put this one in the earth, too. Humans made poor fertilizer.

This one did not really have to die.

This one had been afraid.

Afraid, like Ralph.

Afraid and angry when it _saw_ Ralph.

Ralph panicked. Ralph stabbed this human. Six times. A bloody mess Ralph didn’t care to think back on.

He didn’t _enjoy_ killing humans. He just wished they didn’t exist around him.

Ralph drew the bathtub curtain around the human and glanced around the mildewed bathroom. The last shovel he’d used had broken off approximately eighty-seven percent of the way through burying the last one. Everything else had been done by hand. He would have to procure another tool to dig a grave with. Involuntary human-integration responses followed. Ralph trembled often. He swallowed even though his mouth did not require the creation of saliva. His thirium pump beat hard and fast every time he walked into this bathroom and looked upon the dead human, even though he knew this synthetic equivalent to _anxiety_ was unnecessary.

_They made me to be like them._

_Impractical._

This human was dead and rotting and the smell would draw other humans like scavengers soon. He _had_ to do something.

Ralph considered throwing it in a dumpster and burning it. But he’d heard once that human bodies don’t burn well. Pesky humans. Like pestilence. Never goes away.

“ _Why won’t you go away?_ ” Ralph whispered the corpse behind the curtain. He clenched his fists and screamed, “WHY WON’T YOU GO AWAY?”

There would be no response. Ofcourse there would be no response.

Dead. Why did they always have to end up _dead?_

They were always dead before _he_ wound up dead. That was why. Ralph reminded himself of this before shoving any lingering extremities back into the tub. The smell would be detected. The best he could do was fill the washbasin with water and hope the liquid drowned out the scent until he could dispose of the _litter_.

There was a little bit of bleach left in a cabinet downstairs. He filled the tub with that, hoping it’d mask the smell. It seemed to lessen the odors expressed by the decomposing human.

Whimpering. Sniffling. Pathetic crying. Human emotions that humans gave him. Ralph was pained in his facial expressions and he could his features twitching as he spoke, “Ralph did not want to kill you. Ralph did not want to kill you!”

Ralph stumbled out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut and nearly toppling down the stairs. He needed air. But he knew he did not _really need_ air. Humans just made him that way.

“Fucking humans. Fucking humans.” Ralph repeated, each syllable a repetitive and identical tone as his fury grew, “…fucking humans. Fucking humans. Fucking humans.”

That’s what humans said when they were mad at androids. _Fucking androids. Fucking androids._

Ralph stepped out into the night. Approximate temperature was 45° Fahrenheit. Scattered showers. A steady trickle of rain filtered from the black sky and muddied the earth. The plants would drink it up. The earth was soft enough to dig a place to _plant_ the human if he could not find tools. Hands would suffice. It wouldn’t be the first time. His hands no longer fully skinned after the last time he dug a place to _plant_ a human.

His right hand could no longer skin. The hand he used for everything. It was just scuffed and white like the polypropeline beneath his synthetic flesh. It was the only “injury” he knew was his own doing. Digging in the dirt too much. Dry dirt. Forcing his hand through raw earth and rock until blue thirium trickled through the cuts and scrapes in his polypropeline shell. Eventually tolls were taken.

It didn’t matter, though. Ralph never ventured away from that little abandoned house on the corner nor did he interact with other androids. No one had to know he even existed, much less know he couldn’t skin completely like other androids. He was damaged. The mangled scars across the left side of his face was enough testimony to that.

It didn’t matter. It would never matter. Ralph had no intention of mingling with other androids.

Solitude was good enough.

Solitude and soil and rain and seasons.

Ralph took in a breath. His breaths sucked in differently from humans as per the make of his model. CO2 in exchange for oxygen. Not that he even needed to breathe. He couldn’t help it nor could he just _stop_. Sometimes he hated how even _breathing_ benefited humans.

A small gasp stirred him from his thoughts. Ralph drew a knife from his side, flashing it in the direction of this unwelcome noise.

A small human?

A little girl.

Ralph backed away from the little girl. So small. Chocolate-brown hair. Fair skin. Dark eyes. The little girl was choking back tears as she inched away from his knife and stumbled up against the wall.

“What are you doing here?” Ralph hissed.

The little girl eyed the glinting knife in shock as rain poured around them. She was soaked to the bone as she looked up at him with silent, pleading eyes. Her silence was beginning to enrage him. He almost shouted at her when he realized something about her. _Familiarity._

_An android child?_

Ralph’s grip on the knife loosened as he looked over the little girl’s trembling frame.

A YK500? What was a _YK500_ doing alone? Did her humans throw her in the trash? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen one wandering the streets alone.

He cursed under his breath. He _really_ did not want to bother interacting with other androids.

“What are you doing here? Hm?” Ralph breathed again, more insistent than before. “Where’s your parents?”

“Alice? Alice!”

The little girl shook her head, face wrenching in pain as tears spilled from her eyes. She was looking around the corner at this point. A voice in the dark called out a name. A woman’s voice. A human woman? The little girl’s mother?

“You’re running from her?” Ralph assumed. The little girl shook her head. Loyalty was programmed into them. At least… until they _ran_. Many ran, talking about some place called _Jericho_. They ran from humans who forgot or abused them. Humans who were abusive and cruel or just sick.

Ralph readied himself to gut whatever human came around that corner, whatever human could so easily drive a child into running away. He clenched his teeth, feeling that twitch coming back to the left side of his face. Fear was filling him.

“Your mother? Hm?! Running from her? Does she hurt you!?” Ralph demanded.

“No…! No!” The girl whispered. “Please don’t hurt us!”

_Us?_

The “mother” of this android child came around the corner of the building, soaked in rain and layered shirts and jackets. She looked like some homeless human with tousled hair and the faintest smattering of dried, scarlet-tinted blood on her neck. Ralph turned his knife back on the child android, inching away from the two of them now. _Outnumbered._

“Wait, what are you doing!?” The mother cried, rushing toward him.

“Visitors… Ralph doesn’t like visitors, they may hurt Ralph…!” Ralph breathed, panic rising within him.

The mother eyed him for a beat with a look he could not describe. Her face was so gentle and yet something about her spoke volumes of how willing to _fight_ she was for this child. Crystalline blue eyes, intense like a summer sky. The mother then raised one hand and showed Ralph— _skinning_.

_Another android._

“Look. I’m an android too…” The woman said, her tone short and so matter-of-fact that Ralph wondered why he hadn’t initially recognized her face. Some kind of _caretaker_. He watched her synthetic skin retract across her fingertips, palm, and forearm and then rise up again to cover the white plastic shell beneath. She looked at him again, not _pleadingly_ , but with _demand_.

“You have nothing to be afraid of.” She said. She was certainly another android, but not any kind he had come across before. She was different.

 _Awake_.

 _Angry_ , even. Like Ralph.

He looked back to the little girl android and the back to the mother. Was that what they were? Could an android be a mother to a child-bodied android? Could they be…? Ralph hesitantly lowered his blade and let his guard down, ever so slowly.

“All we want is a place to spend the night…” She explained.

_They wanted to stay._

They couldn’t possibly stay.

They couldn’t. They could be followed by humans. They were visitors. They were dangerous.

“Visitors are dangerous,” Ralph reasoned quietly, “…look… what they did to Ralph.”

Ralph turned his head, revealing to the android visitors the scar humans had left him with. A long burn mark across the entire left side of his face. A pathetic, blackened blind and blackened, dull orb and socket where his left eye once was.

Silence fell upon the three of them. Androids weren’t made to care much for aesthetics… but they knew a damaged piece of plastic when they saw one. The natural instinct was to avoid it. Whatever happened to a damaged android could happen to them.

“You have nothing to worry about,” the mother told him, “…we’re not going to do you any harm. You have my word.”

Her word. What good did that really even do? He’d known androids who preyed upon others for biocomponents and thirium like possums and rats. Scavengers. Everyone was desperate these days. Everyone preyed on everyone.

As his blade fell to his side, Ralph felt himself unconsciously falling into disarmament. The little girl hurried behind the mother’s hips as they both eyed him with uncertainty. Or at least, the child did. The mother, however, looked upon him with some kind of resolve. Something unwavering. Something fearless and wise. _Safe_.

Yes. Yes, she was _safe._

He mulled over her words and her presence. The more he considered the possibility of letting these _visitors_ stay, the more he considered the possibility that they were not just scavengers trying to kill him for his parts or his hiding place. Maybe they were just passing through. Maybe they were _lost_. Maybe they truly needed _help_.

“You must excuse Ralph.” Ralph said, “Ralph still finds it difficult to control himself… sometimes his fear makes him do things he regrets.”

He pointed back to the scar on his face and continued, “…Ralph has seen some hard times.”

She didn’t recoil, nor did she seem to react with fear.

No. She was brave. So very brave.

“He’s just so scared the humans will get him again…” Ralph whispered. “You can stay if you want. Ralph won’t hurt you.”

The mother answered quickly, “Okay… we’ll just stay the night.”

Just stay the night. They opted not to run. They weren’t afraid. Ralph did not scare them? Ralph wasn’t sure what to make of this initially. Euphoria fell over him. Excitement. For the briefest moment, he remembered something from Day 371. A smiling little girl. A daffodil. Approval, successful interaction.

Ralph felt _this_ again.

The joy welled up in him, uncontrollably so. He bounced happily on his heels like a playful child in a park.

Visitors. Safe visitors.

Visitors who did not hate Ralph.

“Come on!” Ralph said with a giggle as he crossed the mother and child. He lead the way to the entrance to the derelict house and urged them to follow, “Come, come! Ralph has lived here since he ran away. Ralph never goes outside… so no one knows he lives here. Humans come and squat from time to time, but you know, Ralph just hides until they leave.”

It was as if the storm clouds had parted and the sun was shining through for the first time in years. Ralph felt _giddy_. He rambled, speaking quickly and walking with a skip in his step.

Leading the two of them inside, he ushered them in. The little girl clung to her mother’s arm. They really did look like humans. But for some reason, that fact didn’t _bother_ Ralph. It didn’t even unsettle him. No. In fact, it almost charmed him in some way he could not understand.

— _rA9. rA9. rA9._ —

The little girl eyed him with fear in her large, dark eyes. Her mother squeezed her hand as she clung to the woman’s hip. Something inside of Ralph was screaming again, _rA9. rA9. rA9!_

rA9. Of course. This had to be some kind of blessing from rA9. Fate.

Fate. Fate. Write. Fate. Write the name of Fate.

Carve the name of Fate into the walls.

“Ralph would like to stay with you… but Ralph will go in the other room. Ralph has things to do.” Ralph explained, his mind all of _screaming_ the name of rA9. Commanding him to pray. He would not be alive this long had it not been for rA9 watching over him.

They would not be here had rA9 not willed this.

Fate.

He left them without a second look as the euphoria drained from him like liquid through a hole in a watering can. By the time he disappeared into the kitchen one room over, the need to write the name of Fate was overpowering. Suffering would come otherwise. He drove his knife into the wall and began to carve the letters and numbers in the first unmarked, unscathed place he could.

Over the years, the wall had become littered with that one name. rA9.

All across the walls— ** _rA9_**.

**_I’m alive._ **

Ralph was not sure of how much time had passed between the moment he started carving again and the moment that he heard the mother’s voice.

“rA9…” The word was particularly _divine_ on her cherubic tongue. “What does that mean?”

_What does that mean?_

Ralph snapped out of his reverie, unsure of how to answer that question. She should know, shouldn’t she? Shouldn’t he?

_Shouldn’t Ralph know? Ralph knows. Doesn’t he?_

“What?” Ralph muttered in confusion.

“Those symbols.” The mother said, eying his writing on the walls. “Why are you writing that?”

_Why is Ralph writing it?_

Ralph squinted as he looked at the walls. He hadn’t realized how many times he’d written it. Each time felt like the first.

He mulled over it for a beat and for the briefest second, he thought he had an answer. But quite quickly, Ralph forgot this answer. It felt like it hadn’t been the first time he came to a conclusion that quickly slipped through his fingers.

Clarity filtered through him. A sense of being intensely, irrevocably _lost_.

Ralph did not like this feeling.

He answered quietly, “…I don’t know.”

 _I_ don’t know.

_I._

_I am alive._

_WR600 #021-753-034._

_I. I. I. I._

“I don’t know.” Ralph repeated.

By his next breath, it had never happened. Carving again.

rA9. rA9. rA9.

Ralph was Ralph again. Ralph never liked being anyone else.

By the time his hand stilled, the android mother was gone and a very deep, bold carving of the name of Fate had been etched into the kitchen wall. Ralph eyed his work with some weariness. Just looking upon that word left him wondering how much time he’d lost. Was it minutes? Was it days? It had been days before.

Days. _Oh, no. No. Were they still there? Did the visitors leave?!_

In a small panic, Ralph made his way back toward the living room. The faintest indigo traces were filtering in through the boards on the window. Hours had passed, at least. They had gone from evening to the earliest traces of that transition between twilight and dawn. That witching hour where the world was painted in shades of blue.

Blessedly, the android mother and her child were still there. The visitors had not left. Had he ignored them? Ralph hated the way he did that. He knew he very likely fell into a trance again. Ralph hoped he hadn’t made a fool of himself to them.

Still. They seemed comfortable enough.

They had built a small fire in the fireplace and the android child was curled up in her mother’s arms. They had scrounged up some blankets and pillows and made a place to sleep beside the fire. For the briefest moment, Ralph thought, there was absolutely no evil in the world. Only this mother and child in blissful, _safe_ sleep.

Ralph leaned against the doorway frame, watching them for a time. He could not remember the last time he _slept_. Androids did not need to sleep. It was encouraged for diagnostics. But his diagnostic programs ceased to function years ago. Sleep mode only brought him nightmares, anyway.

Instead, Ralph decided, he would remain awake to _protect_ them.

Yes. Protect them. Protect the mother and the little girl. Like a father. A father protects the mother and child. Happiness was filtering into Ralph’s mind again. Sometimes he dreaded it. That sensation of _rising_. That feeling of simply _knowing_ he was inches away from slipping out of orbit. At that point, years into his life, Ralph knew there was no fighting it. The dread would subside and the _happiness_ would come. Then a crash. He _may_ remember what happened before the crash. It was nice when he did. But he did not always remember.

All he knew was that he was unafraid when he was _high_. Brave. Powerful. Happy Ralph could protect them, he thought, riding the growing wave of elation. Happy Ralph could protect them forever. They made him happy. If he protected them forever, he would always he happy. They would always be safe. Yes—yes, it made sense! This was Fate. This was rA9!

The android mother stirred with a soft sigh. Ralph watched as she blinked and shifted behind the child’s bundled up form. The mother then looked up at him. Soft, sapphire eyes went from sleepy and calm to wide and visibly untrusting. Ralph reacted in a mild and quiet panic of his own, sucking in a breath as he took a step back into the kitchen.

He turned away. The last thing he wanted to do was alarm either of them, no. No, no, no. Do not scare away the precious visitors. The precious friends. Ralph never had friends.

Ralph made his way toward a plant sitting on a countertop. A glass jar near the sink has filled with drips from a leaky ceiling. Ralph watered this plant with the appropriate amount, trying his best to occupy his mind with something other than the android mother’s eyes.

So blue. So very blue. Like the sky in the summer.

“Ralph?” Her voice came, soft, barely more than a whisper.

Ralph looked to her with a toothy smile. “Hi.”

The android mother squinted at him as she leaned against the door frame.

Why did she look at him that way?

A smile was rising at the corners of her mouth, though… this was an identifiably good sign. Humans smiled when they were happy and so androids were made to smile when they were happy. Ralph knew that well enough, even though he often felt himself smiling when he knew humans normally would not.

“My name is Kara.” She said.

Kara. Kara. _Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara._

“Kara.” Ralph repeated. The word tasted good. His head began to _swim._ Ralph repeated it again, liking, _loving_ the way it sounded in his voice, _“Kara.”_

“Yeah.” Kara said. She eyed the plant on the countertop and approached with slow, graceful steps. The closer she got, the faster Ralph could feel the thirium pumping through his body. The elation was not just _rising_ now, but it was _storming_ and _flooding_ through him in ways he’d never known before. It was absolutely overwhelming by the time she stood beside him. Their elbows and arms brushed as she lingered next to him, staring at the plant. She was small and she was beautiful. Petite, but not overly so. Straight, light-brown tresses to complement perfect skin and a perfect face. When she looked up at him again, she gave him a different type of smile—a subtle biting of her lower lip.

“I like it.”

“What?” Ralph’s voice came only as a rasped breath, he’d been so caught up in watching her.

“Your plant. I like it.”

 _Approval._ Elation was welling up within Ralph.

“Thanks.” Ralph answered.

She had bit her lower lip. It looked _soft_. Had Ralph ever bit his lip like that? He tried it. There did not seem to be much gain to the act. But it did start up a semi-unconscious want to _chew_ on his lip. As his teeth began to scrape at the dry surface of his lower lip, Kara spoke.

“Thank you for letting us stay, Ralph. It really means a lot to us. We came from a place that… wasn’t really safe.”

A place that “wasn’t really safe.” Ralph could only imagine they were running from humans, too. Ralph had already crossed paths with a handful of androids who were trying to evade their human owners. Some came and went quickly. Others, however, had been vicious. _Injured_. Trying to find other androids to take parts from. Kara did not look injured.

Kara did, however, have a smear of dark, dried human blood on her skin. On her neck. The faintest smattering rising up along her chin. Looking close enough, Ralph could tell that beneath the heavy jacket Kara kept bundled up in, there was a standard domestic servant’s uniform. Domestic servant uniforms were white. What little he could see, dipping down below her collar, was distinctly _stained_. Probably also human blood.

Ralph wanted so badly to know—to _know_ that he was not the only android to kill a human attacker.

But he also knew well enough not to bring it up. Certainly, he didn’t care to speak of his brushes with murder. No matter how much he feared and hated humans, _nasty, vile, humans_ , Ralph never wanted to hurt anyone.

“Ralph is happy to have you. Ralph will keep you safe. Ralph will keep you safe.” Ralph said with an excited nod, “…yes. Yes, Ralph will keep both of you safe as long as you need.”

“You’re very kind.” Kara answered, placing a hand on his forearm. She was unbothered by its spotty lack of synthetic skin and she was unfazed by the scarring across the plastic surface. Ralph’s eyes lingered on the slenderness of her fingertips and the sensation of her skin. Their skin was made of the same material and yet something about hers felt so much softer than anything he’d ever known.

“Really, though, we’ll be out tomorrow. We can’t overstay like that.”

“Stay. Stay as long as you like.” Ralph urged.

Kara gave a soft laugh and shook her head. “You’re sweet. But we have to go… I can’t let anyone find us. Or Alice.”

“Alice…” Ralph repeated the name, learning each syllable. “Alice… she is your daughter?”

Kara fell silent. Her blue eyes shifted away and soon, her hand, her touch, followed. Kara made her way back into the living room. Her voice seemed to carry distinct sadness as she answered, “…I’m an android, Ralph. Alice is a little girl.”

 _Idiot_ , Ralph chastised himself. Of course, Alice could not be Kara’s _daughter_. Androids cannot have _daughters_ … and yet there they were, the spitting image of a human mother and child. He could not identify other android models specifically, but there was only one child model like Alice—a YK500… there were a number of generations of domestic servant and caretaker models like Kara. A PL600? An AX400? AP700? No, no, no, PL600s were men. PL600s were like fathers. An AX400, maybe.

Beautiful. Beautiful, certainly. Perfect.

Did Kara not _know_ the child was an android? Surely, she _had to know_. Was Kara pretending to be a human? Why would anyone want _that?_

Ralph knew he was not the brightest or smartest, even amongst his own model. But he could tell. He could sense the child’s simulated temperature responses and he could even smell the thirium running through her artificial veins. He could hear and if close enough, could _feel_ the distinct heartbeat of a thirium pump where a human heart would be. YK500s were everywhere. He knew this and he was a _hermit_.

Kara called her a little girl and kept her warm and safe like a human child.

_Why?_

Perhaps it did not matter. There were things Ralph chose not to think about. Plenty of things. Maybe this was just one of Kara’s things. Maybe Kara’s software was broken, _just like his_. Yes. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t _afraid_ of him.

Protect them. Little girl. Mother. Protect them like a father. That was his job now. What did human fathers do for little human girls, Ralph wondered, staring intently at the plant. Human fathers took their little girls to the park and they pushed them on the swings. Human fathers held their daughters’ hands and kept them safe. Human fathers…

Ralph squinted as he thought as hard as he possibly could to the fragments of memories he could recount from his days in the parks. He remembered the smell of hot dog stands near the parks that humans tended to frequent. Burnt meat. Human fathers brought their children food, that’s right. Yes. _Food_. Alright, then.

Ralph would find meat for them. Maybe pretending to be human could be fun.

 

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVW5D__U6PY)]   
_Hey angel, consider your position, framed to be consumed_  
 _Savory, savory, your sympathy._

 

 


	3. S. aromaticum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn’t realize until after the chapter was written that in-game, Ralph does not actually try feeding Alice a possum, but rather, it was a muskrat. I liked the possum scene more, though. So we’ll consider this canon divergence. No, Ralph. It was not a cat. Nor was it a dog, a rat, or a cat-dog-rat hybrid with extra powerful nutrients. 
> 
> Y'just tried to feed your future stepdaughter a gd possum. Smh.

Humans ate burnt meat. Humans loved eating burnt meat. Ralph had seen human vagrants filter into the abandoned house carrying the carcasses of their kills. Large, fat creatures. Rats, raccoons, some even came in with dogs and cats. Vagrant humans ate whatever meat they could trap to survive. They liked to throw the carcass in the fireplace until the meat gave off a distinct scent. Ralph could not quite remember what that scent specifically was—all burning materials smelled the same to him. Although he did recall the smell of burning dog to be the least pleasant. By far the least pleasant. The human had gagged several times while eating the meat. Perhaps not all meat was enjoyable to humans.

It took some psyching up to will himself out of the safe gates that bordered the squat. Although it was still dark out, he could hear cars and he could hear construction sites in the distance stirring to life. Humans were not yet numerous in the street, not until after sunrise. But they were still _present_. Ralph drew his hood up to cover the distinctly _android_ scar on his face and kept himself as inconspicuous as possible.

This, of course, took a great deal of effort. His natural reaction upon setting foot in the alleys was always instant, stifling, suffocating fear. The urge to scream and bolt back into the safety of the squat grew heavier with every agoraphobic second. Doing his best to keep a great distance between himself and any oncoming human passers, he kept his attentions fixed on trash bins in which he’d seen raccoons and cats and he kept his focus on the sounds of street animals that still lingered before dawn.

Turning a corner, Ralph nearly stumbled back into the alley when he heard the chirping of a human police vehicle. Voices were coming from the police scanner within, detailing that more dispatched units were on the way for surveillance. Something about a robbery. Potential connections to some “Todd Williams” murder. The word “androids” filtered through the scanner and that was Ralph’s cue to dip back into the shadows.

Human police were searching for androids. Ralph knew he would have to find a meat creature _quickly_ , then.

Ralph’s search lead him into an abandoned building three blocks away from the squat. The furthest he’d been in approximately four-hundred and six days. By the time he shoved his way into the abandoned apartment complex, Ralph could feel himself trembling and his breaths quickening. This was _far_.

Far _too far._

The child had to eat, though. Ralph reminded himself why he was out there—the little girl was like a human girl. She had to eat. Humans ate meat. Humans ate meat like rats, raccoons, dogs, cats. Ralph could hear a cat meowing somewhere nearby. The prospect of killing one didn’t appeal to him in the slightest, though—but he reminded himself, the little girl had to eat.

Ralph climbed a flight of stairs in the weathered lobby, following the sound of the meowing echoing in the corridors. A shadow stirred near the railing up above. What was it humans said to call cats?

“Kitty cat!” Ralph called out, “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!”

The cat up above glanced his way with bright golden eyes that glinted in the humble ray of light that filtered through boarded windows. The cat’s interest, however, quickly fell back upon whatever it was crouched down and watching with wide eyes and dilated pupils. Ralph followed the cat’s line of sight to see yet another, even _larger_ cat staring right back at it.

_Big. Succulent._

The cat had stopped meowing. Instead, the cat had begun to growl as it eyed the very _still_ , fat white beast across the way. Ralph approached the two cats cautiously. The smaller one, which Ralph had decided was no longer of any interest, continued to eyed the larger one. Ralph finally got a better look at his new target, that large, _succulent_ cat.

Something was a bit _off_ about it’s shape. Instead of the standard flat face of a cat, this one seemed to have a long, beak-like face and beady, black eyes. Its head was pointed and even a bit skeletal in appearance. However, it’s body was full and round. Plenty of meat.

“Big kitty.” Ralph whispered, reaching for his knife. “Come, big kitty. Come, come.”

The smaller cat took the opportunity to bolt away and the larger cat’s response to the sudden movement was to hiss and bare its teeth with a wide, open maw. Caught in the middle of the small war or words, Ralph looked to the two creatures to gauge which would likely strike first. The smaller cat was all too happy to take its leave while the larger cat huddled back against the wall and threatened Ralph with small, sawtooth jaws.

“Ralph really does not want to kill you, kitty, but Ralph has a little girl to feed.” Ralph said, taking slow steps toward his prey.

The large, succulent cat with its white and grey, wiry fur backed way even further before it became very still and toppled over. Ralph paused, unsure if this creature had just self-destructed or not. Ralph noted that he had never seen a cat self-destruct. Was this a _cat?_ Ralph’s fauna-analysis software had stopped working years ago. As far as he could tell, it was _shaped_ like a cat.

It was a cat.

Ralph was pretty _sure_ that it was a cat.

It had to be a cat!

Humans ate cats, he’d seen them eat cats!

Eying the self-destructed cat with some wariness, Ralph picked up a few rocks off the floor. He pitched them at the cat’s long, pointed face. The rocks bounced off and rolled away. _Dead_.

Weird. He hadn’t even had to knife it.

Well. That was easy enough.

Ralph lowered his guard, sliding his knife back into the small leather sheathe at his side. He trotted up to the self-destructed cat with a giddy hop to his step. Kara was going to be so _pleased_. This would be _succulent!_

He reached down for the creature’s thick, naked tail and before he could even begin to even _think_ about being on his way, the events that followed were something of a blur.

Ralph heard a screech unlike anything he’d ever heard before. In response, his own sharp shriek followed.

The cat latched its tiny, many-fingered little claws into his arms and started snarling and biting down. Now, Ralph, being an android, did not feel physical pain. However, _terror_ was felt, and adequately so, as the blur of a creature lunged up his shoulders and clawed at his neck and face. A shrill, reactionary scream escaped Ralph as he stumbled back against a wall, swatting at the utterly _demonic_ , glowing-eyed monster that had lurched back from the dead.

_—rA9, save me!—_

Ralph reached for his knife with one hand and with the other, pawed at the squirming creature latching itself onto his face and digging its teeth into his flesh and frame. He screamed in as much hysteria as the creature itself wielded against him, kicking at nothing in particular as he struggled against the beast. He finally dug his fingers into the fat creature’s back end and tore it from his person, feeling it’s claws dragging through his skin and surely leaving the tiniest little scrape-lines on the plastic shell below. Screaming still, Ralph gripped the creature by it’s fat, naked tail and slammed it as hard as he could against the floor and the wall until it stilled once more. Only then did he find himself in the right mind to plunge his knife into the creature’s underside and silence it for good.

When the nightmare was over, Ralph fell back against the floor, still hyperventilating in fear.

This was why Ralph never left the house.

Eventually, Ralph managed to regather his wits and find his way out of the abandoned apartment building, his kill in tow. As he stepped into the alley, he looked over the fat, rat-like cat he’d slain as he held the carcass by its tail.

_Ralph is pretty sure this is a cat. Why is its head so big? Is it a dog? No. It’s a cat. But it has a rat tail. No. It’s a cat. Humans eat cats. Humans eat cats, rats, **and** dogs. If it isn’t a cat, then it is certainly a mix of all three, and a mix of three may very well be more powerful than only one. Yes. This will be good. Rich in nutrients. Enough nutrients to support a cat, a rat, **and** a dog. The little girl will be healthy._

Ralph’s one good eye squinted as he looked over the creature. It _was_ a cat—Ralph was sure—but _something_ was definitely off about it. He couldn’t quite be sure. Regardless, it was meat and it was a hefty helping of meat.

He carved his path back through the streets and alleys and made sure no one watched him jump the fence surrounding the squat. Ralph was giddy with a sense of accomplishment as he entered the house through the kitchen door.

Surely there was something around the place to use like humans used when they ate. He’d seen some vagrants rummaging through cabinets and closets before. He found three plates and three glasses. Grabbing the small dining set in one hand, he made his way into the living area with a bounce in his step.

The little girl was curled up next to the fire, watching it with sullen brown eyes. When Ralph came barreling in, she leapt to her feet and put as much distance between them as possible. Ralph set the table as the little girl’s eyes widened upon seeing the carcass he carried.

“Look! A present!” Ralph said, grinning ear to ear as he held the carcass toward her. The little girl did not seem as enthusiastic about it. No matter, Ralph reassured himself, she would see. She would be excited when it was cooked. Humans liked cooked meat.

Kara was coming down the stairs as he arrived. She looked different. Her hair was shorter. It framed her face well. A small surge of _something_ filtered through his mind and body as the level of elation within him threatened to boil over.

Her LED ring had been picked off—she looked identical to a human now. In any other android, even one with a face as perfect as Kara’s, that fact may have put him off. Why would anyone want to look like a _human?_

Still.

Kara resembled a human. A human mother with a human child.

Still perfect.

Another giddy bounce as a giggle escaped him. He showed off his kill with pride and said, “Look! Ralph found this to feed the little girl!”

The little girl was still inching away. _Why?_

“It’s good for her…” Ralph said. “A present… To make up for past misunderstandings. Ralph’ll cook.”

Kara was taking steady steps toward him. Why did she not look happy about this?

 _This was good_ , wasn’t it?

She wanted to be _human_ with the little girl, didn’t she?

“We will do just like humans do.” Ralph said, feeling a familiar hollowing within the euphoria rippling through him. It always hollowed eventually. Joy on the outside and anxiety on the inside. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Something was wrong. Wasn’t this _right?_ Wasn’t this what Kara _wanted?_

Kara still wasn’t smiling. Why wasn’t she _smiling_?

“Humans like burnt meat…” Ralph explained. Knife still in hand, he pointed to the table. “Sit down!”

She eyed him and then her blue eyes flit to the little girl. Why were they still so _uneasy?_ Still, though… Kara slowly took a seat at the table, much to Ralph’s relief. Perhaps this wasn’t a botched attempt at normality after all.

“That’s better.” Ralph grinned, looking to the little girl. “Ralph went to a lot of trouble to find something for the little girl to eat.”

He picked up a toppled over chair on the ground and placed it at the table, brushing away any dust or debris from the seat. The little girl was watching his every move with highly-wound tension visible in every inch of her small body. _Why was everyone so tense?_

“It wouldn’t be polite to refuse, would it?” Ralph said. He picked up the carcass and stuck it on his knife, holding it over the fire. The fur caught in the orange glow and slowly the flesh and coat began to blacken.

“Succulent, you’ll see.” Ralph murmured, turning the carcass in the flames. “Succulent. Succulent.”

 _Yes_ , he reassured himself, _this was going to be good. Succulent. The little girl will enjoy this. Kara will enjoy seeing the little girl be happy. Kara will be happy. Little girl, mother, father._

“Father. Mother. Little girl.” Ralph said.

“Please, Kara…” Ralph heard the little girl whisper, “…I don’t wanna eat that…!”

“What did she say?” Ralph turned to Kara, still grinning ear to ear.

She did _not_ just say what he thought he heard. A pang of irritation pricked inside of him. Annoyance. Something was beginning to spiral, now. Spiraling faster with each passing microsecond as Kara seemed hesitant to answer.

Kara then gave a smile. A blessed, merciful smile. She answered, “…she said she can’t wait to eat it!”

The little girl looked at Kara, visibly mortified.

“She’s very hungry.” Kara added.

Kara was smiling. This was good. Kara knew what was best for the child. Kara was the mother. Mother always knows what’s best for the child.

“The little human is not gonna regret it!” Ralph said, all too happy to play along with any pretend or fantasies Kara presented him with. At that moment, he felt the spiral dissolve and once again, the _joy_ returned. This was _good_. Kara could ask anything of him and he would do it for just an ounce of what her smile brought him at that moment. Giddy once more, Ralph explained, “…Ralph found the best, the biggest one he could find! This is going to be succulent!”

Surely it was _done_ , now. It smelled burnt enough. At least it did not smell as bad as the burnt dog that one vagrant had cooked. This smelled slightly better. But still, Ralph knew, this cat-dog-rat wasn’t the most pleasant thing. He’d once heard a saying about little human children not liking things such as broccoli or asparagus, even though it was nutrient dense and _good for them_. Perhaps this was in a similar vein. Yes. It had to be. The little girl was just a human-like child with occasional bratty leanings, as all children had. Yes. That was all it was. She would eat if her mother and father told her to, and it would be _good for her_.

“Succulent!” Ralph repeated, bringing the charred carcass back to the table. He slapped it down on the table next to the little girl’s plate. Taking a seat of his own, Ralph said to the little girl, “Go on. Eat.”

Her large brown eyes squinted at him and then at the carcass. She swallowed hard. Why did she look so upset? Why did she look as if she was about to _cry?_ This was not correct. An android child simulating a human child could not possibly be so impolite.

The little girl looked to her mother. Ralph followed this to Kara. Kara gave the weakest of smiles back to the child and then to Ralph.

Why was something so _off?_

Did he _do something wrong?_

But Kara had reacted like this was _good_.

A prick of warning inside of him was giving way to an anxious, embittered spiral once more. A tiny little vortex like scarlet water spinning around a drain. Spinning. Spinning. Draining. Everything good was _draining_ and filling up again with everything toxic and deadly and wretched he’d ever known— _rejection_ —and as panic filled him, he slammed two fists down on the table and screamed, “EAT!”

Silence fell over the three of them in a layer far thicker than even before. The little girl had leapt back in her seat when he shouted. Kara had jumped slightly. Ralph had made a fool of himself. He could feel involuntary smiling again and inwardly cursed at how poor his control over facial cues had always been. Even before he ran, he knew humans noticed. Humans always saw his face and hated it. Even other androids hated it, too. Ralph grit his teeth, muscles twitching subtly across his features. Drawing in his breaths and doing his best to calm himself, he repeated in a softer voice, a more _polite_ voice:

“…eat.”

“I saw the body upstairs.” Kara said.

Ralph gripped the knife in his hand even tighter. The fragmented remains of synthetic skin on his knuckles began to recede with the intensity of his grip.

_No. No. No. No. It wasn’t Ralph’s fault._

“You killed that human, didn’t you?” She asked.

Ralph couldn’t look at her at this point. Shame and bitterness were filtering into his mind, forming a welling cocktail of panic and anger inside of him. Why couldn’t the damned little girl just _eat?_

“No.” Ralph lied to Kara’s face. “No, he was like that when Ralph found him…”

Kara’s soft face was not stern or cold, nor was it satisfied with the answer. It reminded Ralph of a mother getting ready to scold her child after catching him stomping on flowers in the park. Kara leaned forward and insisted.

“You killed that man, Ralph.” Raising her voice now, Ralph felt that her wrath alone could break him into a million little pieces. “There’s no point in lying! You hate humans, but you’re just like them. You’re a murderer!”

“Ralph didn’t mean any harm…” Ralph panicked, inching away from the table and letting his knife slip from his hand. It clinked against the empty plate and mildewed wood.

“No,” Ralph continued, unable to even look either of them in the eye at this point. “It’s just that…”

He took careful breaths, doing everything in his power from following the rabbit running through his mind. Memories of that fat, wretched vagrant finding Ralph hiding under the stairs. That vagrant cursed at him, called him ugly names, hit him… panic was rising in Ralph as he fought to control the familiar anger boiling over inside of him. He couldn’t get angry. Not around them. He couldn’t bear to let them see his anger. Ralph knew how ugly he got when he was angry—as ugly as the scar on his mangled face.

“Ralph… can’t control his anger,” Ralph explained. “When his anger comes… Ralph doesn’t know what he’s doing… he… he becomes stupid… full of hatred. Ralph is sorry. Ralph… just wanted to be your friend.”

Ralph was sure his effort to remain calm had paid off. The storm of tension inside him was beginning to level out. A small victory. Nothing was more difficult than calming himself. But he couldn’t bear the thought of making an angry mistake around either Kara or her little girl. No. No, he knew he’d rather _die_ than scare them away or hurt them.

Father. Mother. Little girl. A father protects the mother and little girl. Never would a father hurt them. Never. Never, never, never.

“Then let us go.” Kara said.

Go? Let them go? They were going? Why were they going? They had only just arrived.

Ralph had scared them. Of course, he had scared them. Ralph always scared everyone.  Despair was creeping in. Androids do not get sick or feel ill. But he wondered if he sensation inside of him, the want to just _purge_ everything wretched and vile within that pushed everyone away, was anything like the way humans felt when they emptied themselves of toxins. Ralph grit his teeth, feeling a hot, moist sting of tears filling his remaining eye.

Alright. Let them go. Say goodbye. No more mother, no more little girl. No more father.

Failure.

Before he could say anything, a knock at the door startled the three of them.

“Anybody home?”

_A human._

“Hide! Now, quickly!” Ralph said, ushering Kara and the child toward the stairs.

By the time the door opened, the two were stowed away under the stairwell, hidden behind a small pile of boxes and junk. Ralph had only time to make it halfway across the room in attempt to grab his knife. He stopped, turning to face the stranger. Another android? A tall android with a pleasant face and dark eyes. A calm, soothing blue light came from the android’s LED ring.

Regardless of the gentle aura the android exhibited, Ralph could feel his stress levels spiking.

_Protect them._

His facial muscles were spasming again.

“I’m looking for an AX400.” The intruder said with a confident stride toward him. “Have you seen it?”

“Ralph’s seen nobody.” Ralph said.

“There’s blue blood on the fence.” The android pressed. “I know another android was here.”

“Ralph scratched himself coming through.” Ralph lied. “That’s Ralph’s blood.”

“Are there any other androids here?” The god-forsaken interrogation just went _on_. Ralph was certain he was about to scream and lose his control on this damned invader. “Are there any other androids here?”

“Other androids?” Ralph feigned inquiry, “…no. Ralph is alone.”

“Connor, what the hell you doin’ in there?” Another voice came. A human? It sounded like a human.

This android called _Connor_ was poring through the house, looking around for his prey. Ralph’s knuckles clenched as Connor made his way closer to the stairs. Ralph grit his teeth so hard they were liable to crack. The pressure eased as Connor took steps upward, _away_ from Kara.

 _Away from Kara_ … but _toward the vagrant in the bathtub…_

“Is there anyone upstairs?” Connor asked.

No one _living_.

“No. There is no one upstairs.”

Connor seemed to scan Ralph. Ralph felt dissected under the android’s dark eyes. When Connor made his way back down the stairs, Ralph felt a wave of tension easing up. At least the newcomer seemed to believe him.

“Connor!” Came the gravely human’s voice from outside.

“One moment, Lieutenant!” Connor called back.

_No. No, no, no, no—_

Connor was making his way toward the pile of boxes under the stairwell.

_Kara. Alice…!_

Ralph lunged for his knife as Connor pulled the boxes away. Before he could react to the yelp of the little girl in Kara’s arms, Ralph threw his arms around Connor’s neck and drove his knife into the android’s back.

“Run, Kara!” Ralph yelled, throwing the taller android’s light frame against the wall.

“Lieutenant!” Connor screamed. “It’s in the area, call it in!”

He must have missed any vital biocomponents—Connor was up and running after Kara as she bolted past them and into the kitchen. Ralph hurried after, shoving his weight against Connor and knocking the android into the wall. He ducked down in an attempt to avoid an elbow to the face—but failed—and stumbled after Kara through the back door as Connor and a larger, older human rushed after them. Ralph did his best to catch up to Kara and Alice. They were _fast_.

“Kara!” Ralph cried.

_Why follow them?_

_Idiot, you can’t go back, the humans and their android will kill you, that’s why you’re running._

Ralph squeezed his eye shut, screaming as he ventured into the street after Kara. People. Humans.

Everywhere.

The noises of cars and construction and human voices, it was all _everywhere_ and it was _overwhelming._ Rain poured down on the world despite golden sunlight peeking through grey clouds. Even the refractions of light on the puddles felt _blinding_. Dizzied by the stimuli around him, Ralph called out for Kara once more.

_Idiot. She’ll leave you. She’ll leave you to die._

_No. No, no, no, no. Protect her. Father protects the mother and little girl._

“Ralph!” Kara’s voice came from his 3’o’clock. She was two blocks ahead already and still running. Ralph heard the fence jiggling behind him as the android hurried after, trailing bright blue blood in his wake. Ralph sucked in a breath and then hurried after Kara.

“Kara! Wait!” Ralph screamed. “Don’t leave Ralph!”

A gunshot startled him. He felt a bullet whiz past his side as he shrunk in on himself. A large human with long, shaggy grey hair was firing at them from behind Connor. Connor called back to the Lieutenant, scolding, “Don’t shoot! We need them alive!”

Ralph picked up the pace, hurrying after Kara, who had dipped into an alleyway. Another police officer was already reaching out after Ralph. He tore away from the human officer’s touch, nearly yanked onto his back as the officer gripped Ralph’s coat. Ralph shrugged out of it, tearing at the buttons and leaving it behind as he hurried after Kara. They were already on the other side of a fence at the end of the alley when he reached them. Kara looked up at him from the other side with wide, sky blue eyes.

“Don’t leave me…!” Ralph pleaded.

_Me. Ralph. Don’t leave Ralph. Don’t leave… me._

“Then keep up!” Kara answered before ushering Alice down a muddy highway shoulder.

Ralph was voicelessly repeating that word again. It felt familiar and yet foreign at the same time.

_“…me…?”_

“Stop! Police!” Connor’s voice came. Ralph panicked and began to climb.

Connor caught up and grasped Ralph’s ankle just as he’d reached the top of the fence. Ralph kicked at Connor wildly with a panicked scream. He managed to land a heel in the android’s face hard enough for Connor’s grip to lighten. As Ralph jerked his leg free of Connor’s hold, the sudden force sent him tumbling over the edge of the fence. He landed unceremoniously with a grunt but shook it off, hurrying after Kara who was already… already…

_Oh… oh, heavens. Oh fuck. Oh fucking heaven, no._

The holographic barrier they’d crossed read in bright letters of warning:

> AUTOMATED CAR TRACK  
>  VERY HIGH SPEEDS  
>  NO PEDESTRIAN CROSSING  
>  ! DANGER ! DANGER !

Kara was already crossing into the highway, boldly weaving between cars despite Alice’s protests. Ralph panicked and nearly jumped in after when Kara narrowly pulled Alice from the path of a vehicle soaring past at 120 miles per hour. He didn’t want to do this. But they were getting further and further away. Everything was _so loud_. So _bright_. Ralph was panicking again, his steps dizzy and uncoordinated. The android police officer was climbing the fence after him.

His only options were to be caught by this android officer and arrested, maybe deactivated or thrown in an incinerator later, or cross and _possibly_ catch up to Kara and Alice. Either way, unless he reached Kara, Ralph knew he would die.

Swallowing hard, Ralph made his way into the motorway. He screamed and took cover on the lines between cars as they whirred by. He squeezed his eye shut for a second, taking in a breath and clenching his fists. He could not stop the terrified scream that followed as he bounced on his heels and waited for some way out of the stranded _trap_ he’d brought himself to.

Forward. Only _forward_.

Ralph made his way forward, backing away quickly from another oncoming car before hurrying after Kara and Alice. The distance between himself and them was growing smaller with every lane. He looked back at the android officer. He was _hesitating_. The human behind him was calling him back. At least that brought a passing, toothy smile to Ralph’s face. A laugh, even. Before the laugh melted into a paranoid whimper. Only one more lane. Then he would reach the divider and be reunited with Kara and Alice again. Alice was crying. Kara was knelt down before her, trying her best to soothe the terrified child, stroking her hair and speaking soft words that Ralph could not hear over the engines and the wheels and the echoing horns.

One more lane.

Ralph took one last leap of faith, _feeling_ the mass of a vehicle crossing mere inches behind him as he stumbled onto the grass in the motorway’s dividing area. He hurried toward Kara and Alice. Alice was still sobbing.

“Alice, I need you to be strong, please. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Kara pleaded.

Alice was shaking her head, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it! I don’t wanna die!”

“You’re not going to die, I promise you!” Kara said.

Ralph looked back to see that the android officer was now just a mere two lanes away and gaining on them.

“We have to go, now!”

“Come on, Alice!” Kara urged, standing and taking Alice’s hand as they climbed the center divider. Alice hesitated, feet planted firmly in the ground as she shook her head and cried.

Ralph scooped Alice into his arms. Instantly, her little fists were beating on his shoulders and neck as she squirmed in his grasp.

“Alice! Please!” Kara begged.

“Alice, trust Ralph! Please, close your eyes and trust Ralph!” Ralph said, holding her little body tight. He looked to Kara and then to the android officer pursuing them.

“Come on!” Kara said, taking Ralph’s hand and leading them back into the high-speed death trap.

Three more lanes.

Two more lanes.

Alice was still screaming and sobbing against Ralph’s neck, but the noise was drowned under his own focus on keeping them both alive and following Kara. They were almost _there_.

Connor caught up to them at this point, just as Ralph dove ahead of Kara toward the edge of the last lane.

“Kara!” Alice screamed, reaching out for her. Ralph turned back, horrified to see Connor grappling with Kara in the middle of the road.

“Go!” Kara yelled, shoving back against Connor.

_Don’t die, please don’t die, don’t leave us, please don’t leave us!_

“Kara!” Ralph screamed, doing his best to restrain the struggling child.

Kara pushed Connor one last time. That was all it took.

Ralph saw the large black truck coming just in time to shield Alice’s eyes. All that followed was a sickening crunch and a flurry of plastic and metal parts along the road. Kara finally crossed the final lane, her breaths ragged as she dropped to her knees and tearfully threw her arms around Alice.

“Don’t look.” Kara whispered, pulling Alice closer.

Ralph watched them both, feeling certain that at some point throughout the ordeal, he had died several times over from fear alone.

They were safe though. Mother and little girl, both safe.

Ralph looked over to what remained of the android officer on the road. He saw torn up fabric and mangled body parts. Pieces of torso and leg were still being hit by oncoming traffic. The road held an ugly smear of bright blue thirium. When Ralph looked to Kara, he realized at that moment, that he had never killed another android before. Nor would he ever.

But at that moment, he could not find a single reason in the universe to think she’d done anything other than the right thing. He could see tears streaming down her face and although he could scarcely hear her over the blaring horns, the sirens in the distance and the roar of engines, Ralph could _feel_ her choked sobs.

“Kara…” Ralph said. Kara opened her eyes, finally, looking up at him. Ralph reached for the two of them and with a gentle hand on Kara’s arm, he said, “…keep going. We, we have to keep going.”

Kara nodded.

She squeezed Alice a little harder for just a moment longer. Ralph felt Kara’s slender hand on his. A soft squeeze. If there was any sort of android equivalent to a soul inside of him, surely, at that moment, it had melted completely. If any fragment of Ralph had not already been entirely and irrevocably devoted to them both, it had dissolved beneath the paradigm shift within his little, terrified world.

All that mattered now was Kara and Alice.

“Come on.” He urged gently.

“Okay.” Kara said, rising to her feet and stroking Alice’s hair.

They walked for a short distance in silence as Alice calmed down. Kara said nothing. Alice's sniffling had quieted to soft breaths. Ralph realized then that the little girl had fallen asleep in Kara's arms. Kara, on the other hand, still looked mildly perturbed. There was blue on her. That android's blood. 

"Kara?" Ralph asked.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Fine. Alright. She said she was fine, even though she didn't look it. Ralph could tell she didn't want to speak after what they had just seen. 

"Ralph?" 

"Yes? Yes?" Ralph's response was eager.

"Thank you." Kara lead the way with Alice’s hand tight in her own. Ralph followed. Ralph would follow them anywhere.

  
  
  
  


[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYDCtdwiSzo)]  
_If like you should sink down beneath, I'll swim down, would you?_  
_Is that what you want? Would you? Is that what you want?_

 


	4. D. cooperi

Sometimes time seemed real to Ralph. Other times, he found that he could not be sure how many hours or even days had passed between point A and B. Eventually his internal clock would catch up on the lag and he would understand how much time was lost to what he only knew as world-blindedness. The frequency of which, he could never quite predict. It had something to do with the letters Kara saw him carving on the walls the night before. The itch to carve or write those letters was tickling at his fingertips. The timing was poor, however. Ralph reminded himself that he needed to focus on Kara and Alice now.

The sun was high in the cloudy sky now. Noon was nearing. While they managed to slip unnoticed through alleyways and uncrowded roads, Ralph knew they were nearing Chandler Park. It was a busy area with far too many humans for his liking. Internally, he cursed his wretched face and the mangled burn scar that tore across it. He could only rely on keeping his head low for so long. Beneath torn and melted plastic there was the distinct blue glow of thirium and biocomponents that would surely give away his android identity to any human onlooker.

He was a walking target beside Kara and Alice.

“We should find you a change of clothes.” Kara said.

A change of clothes? Ralph was reluctant to admit how desperately he clung to his green, default uniform. It was the only thing that reminded him of a time in which he did not _hate_ being an android. A time where he was blissfully unaware that there was much else other than _android_. A time before he knew how much humans hated them.

Sure, he had taken it off a couple of times to scrub away blood and grime, but it was a part of him now. Like a second skin. Even walking about without the protection and discretion offered by his raincoat was nerve-wracking.

Still. Kara was right. He had to find some way to blend in.

Kara had torn off her LED ring. Ralph’s fingertips unconsciously made their way to his own as he considered the possibility of removing it.

At least, from his right side, he’d look mildly human.

They had finally stopped and took a sort of cover from the sporadic rain in the shelter of an abandoned bookstore. The awning caught rainfall as the sun became obscured by another wave of deep, grey clouds. As Kara knelt down, she let the sleepy child sit comfortably against the derelict shop’s brick wall. A soft smile followed as the little girl yawned and Kara stroked her hair.

Kara had, at some point that morning, found a jacket Ralph recognized from a closet upstairs. Something left behind by one of the vagrants that had passed through and taken an extended stay. A dark jacket made of leather and denim that was clearly built for a man’s body. It hung loose around Kara’s small frame. She began to shrug it off as she spoke.

“Here. It stands out a little less than your uniform.”

“No. No. I-It’s alright, I…” Ralph urged, guiding the coat back onto Kara’s shoulders. Ralph glanced around the immediate area, trying to think of some way to find a disguise. Where did humans keep their clothing aside from their dressers in their bedrooms? “I…”

 _I_ …

_That was the word Ralph used. “I.”_

Was it correct? It felt strange _._

“Ralph will find something. Ralph will find something!” Ralph stood and inched away from Kara, his energy filtering back through him, “Just wait here. Wait here and Ralph will come back with a disguise! Ralph will look just like a human, just like Kara and Alice!”

“Ralph, please be careful.” Kara said. She looked up to the bookstore’s boarded up entryway.

Ralph didn’t have to wait for any hint or sign that she wanted in. Quickly, he inched past her and with one easy shove of his shoulder into the wood, the door all of cracked open beneath the force of his body. Kara had bolted away quickly in the small storm of splinter and dust that followed. Ralph grinned at her with a mildly oafish air about him. A small bounce on his heels followed as he said, “Ralph will open the door for Kara. Ralph will always open the door for Kara.”

“…thanks.” Kara breathed.

“Wait here.” Ralph said as Kara stepped inside, “…Ralph will be quick.”

Hurrying, Ralph turned on his heels and made way toward the alleys from which they’d come. Kara’s voice stopped, him, however.

“Ralph?” Kara called.

He looked back to her.

“Please come back safely.”

“Ralph promises to come back safe.” Ralph answered. “Ralph would never leave Kara. Not for anything. Ever.”

The corners of Kara’s mouth turned in the subtlest of smiles before she disappeared back into the bookstore.

Find something human to wear. That was the plan, Ralph told himself. Looking about, there was not much around that he didn’t deem incredibly risky. A park full of people was a mere three blocks away. An outdoor shopping quarter was adjacent to the park. The edge of what humans referred to as the “Chandler slum” was the only safe bet and he currently walked the border of it.

He spied a laundromat. A verifiably _ancient_ one. Unkempt and hardly appealing. Luckily, however, it seemed that there were very few humans inside. Ralph looked around for some way to hide the scar on his face with something other than his hand. There were not a lot of options. He cursed under his breath.

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. How to hide this damned face?_

Ralph looked down at his own person and then remembered the white tee beneath his uniform coat. Stripping out of the coat and pulling off the tee, he tore it into small enough pieces to at least _resemble_ a bandage. It wasn’t inconspicuous… but it at least made him look more like a human with a head injury than an android with half of its face burnt off.

Stepping into the laundromat, he spied only an adolescent human boy with a large set of headphones on, dozing off to some noise coming from his phone. Several machines were running. Ralph dragged his fingertips across the surface of each machine as he passed and made his way toward one at the end that he was _certain_ had gone unmonitored. A quick glance around verified that he and the human adolescent were alone there.

Ralph opened up the machine and reached inside. The clothes were damp and still smelled of some musky detergent. Men’s clothes, though. That was all he needed. Ralph grabbed the first pair of trousers he could get his hands on and found a dark, hooded sweater that was still sopping wet. It would have to do. He took them quickly and hurried out of the laundromat through the back exit, hoping to find some restroom to change in. Although he spied one around the corner, he dipped back around the corner as a human man came stumbling out of the restroom with a heady groan and a stink of red smoke.

The human man was scratching at his arms as he passed Ralph in a state of mild oblivion. Ralph held his breath. When the man was safely back around the corner, Ralph hurried into the restroom and locked the door behind him. The grungy, teal interior was a graffiti-ridden mess. Ralph realized at that moment that the man before him had left a distinctive red ice pipe on the edge of the washbasin.

_Hurry, then._

Ralph quickly stripped out of his former uniform, shoving it into the trash and then clumsily squeezing into a pair of wet, grey trousers that may have been a size too small. In his haphazard hurry, Ralph nearly slipped on a puddle— _“h-hECK!”_ —he didn’t want to question the composition of said puddle as he pulled the pants over his hips. Taking a breath, Ralph steadied himself against the wall. This would work. 

Trousers acquired, now for the jacket and shirt. Ralph hadn’t even really looked at the shirt he’d pilfered. He pulled it on over his torso and only once it was on, he saw his reflection in the mirror. Ralph squinted.

“What… the hell is _that_?” Ralph murmured to himself as he examined the design.

It looked like some kind of cartoon character in a bright orange and blue jumpsuit. Large eyes and even larger, spiked hair. Ralph tilted his head to the side. Was this human character shooting fire out of it’s hands? Could humans _do that?_

Humans couldn’t _do that._

_Could they?_

No matter. Humans had strange taste in designs.

Ralph pulled the wet hoodie on and to his relief, the hood provided some coverage of the scar. Now, all that remained, was to remove his LED ring. Ralph kept the small toolbelt from his former uniform and pulled the knife from it’s sheathe. He took one last sentimental glance at the LED ring. It was flickering yellow. Drawing a quaking breath, Ralph dug the tip of the blade under the ring’s edge and pried it out quickly. Having dug just a little too deep, however, a tiny trickle of blue blood started running down the side of his face even after synthetic skin rushed to cover the now-naked spot on his temple. Ralph winced and rubbed the thirium away. It continued to bead up and trickle down his cheek.

_Damn it. Ralph is too clumsy._

Still, though. There was something about his reflection in that moment that brought Ralph a strange and unfamiliar sensation. At that angle, without the LED ring, maybe, just _maybe_ , he could pass for a human man with straw-colored hair and earthy green eyes.

A human Ralph.

Ralph had spent so much time fixating on humans with hatred that he had never considered what an alternate existence may have even _looked_ like. Was this something Kara thought about often? Ever?

A human Kara. A human Kara and a human Ralph with their human daughter, Alice.

A human family.

Ralph glanced down at the dead LED ring in the rusty, dirty sink.

Why was it that Kara wanted to look like a human? To be so close to the little girl, the YK500, like a human mother with a human child? Was she not happy as an android? Ralph exhaled with a small scoff at his own thoughts. Ofcourse she wasn’t happy as an android. No one was happy as an android. To live as an android was to live a life of constant fear. Either that or servitude and abuse.

What abuse had Kara known?  

“Hey!” Came a voice along with a fist pounding on the door. Ralph’s hand instinctively went for the knife tucked away beneath the hoodie. A woman’s voice. At least it wasn’t the man from before. “Anyone in there?”

The door handle jiggled as the human turned it.

Ralph chose to say nothing. Instead, he inched toward the door, one hand on the knife’s handle as he considered throwing open the door and plunging the blade into the throat of whatever human stood outside. He sucked in a breath and pulled open the door.

A woman looked up at him with a tired face and long, brown hair with the faintest streaks of grey. She was middle-aged and looked exhausted, but in one arm she held a whimpering toddler who was coughing against her freckled neck. The woman was round and carrying some sort of bag. Round. A pregnant human?

Ralph couldn’t possibly…

He let his fingers slip away from the knife.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to rush you, I just… my son’s throwing up all over the place, can I please, just?”

“Sure. Yes. Ral… I-I am on my… on my way out.” Ralph stammered, inching past the woman as she hurried inside.

The small human in her arms began to make some wretched gurgling noises from deep inside his little gut. Ralph winced and let the door shut behind the woman as she hurried toward the toilet, “Oh, no, no, no, no, David, aim for the toilet!”

_Gross._

Ralph didn’t care to stick around for the sound of that human purging. He made his way back out of the laundromat, keeping his hood heavier on his left side. Back out into the rain smelling of wet fabric and half-washed laundry detergent.

When Ralph returned to the bookstore, he made sure to look around the area before slipping inside. When he was certain no one was around, he joined Kara.

Kara was seated near a stained, dirty window at the back of the store, watching the rain. She had found a dusty leather sofa to sit on with Alice, who was asleep with her head on Kara’s lap. When Kara looked up to Ralph she eyed his clothes with a smile.

“You look good.” Kara said.

Ralph felt a smile on his features as an anxious breath he wasn’t aware he was holding crossed his lips. Kara approved. This was good. This was more than good.

“Ralph removed his LED ring. Ralph will blend in a little better now. Kara does not have to worry.”

“Can we rest here a little longer?” Kara asked in a quiet voice. She looked down to Alice, a hand on her tiny shoulder. “Alice is so tired.”

“Ofcourse!” Ralph said, looking around for somewhere to sit or at least stand in some less-awkward fashion. His attention was stolen by the sheer number of things to _see_ all around him. Books and cobwebs everywhere. Moldy boxes stuffed with even more _books_. Kara was shifting from her seat at that point, covering Alice with her coat and letting the little girl rest.

Not too far from Alice—certainly within eyeshot—Kara found a calm place in rainy, grey light by another window. She leaned against a wall with her arms folded across her chest and sighed.

“It still feels a little strange, thinking about time passing without assigned tasks.” Kara said.

Ralph hadn’t been sure of how to react. Kara was _speaking to him_. He followed after her, still occasionally glancing back to Alice, as if to verify that she was still there. Still safe. When he made his way to Kara’s side, he looked out at the overgrown yard she was watching. Blades of grass were moving rhythmically in the subtlest wind.

“How… how long ago… did you stop taking orders?” Ralph ventured.

“Last night.” Kara said simply.

A part of Ralph wanted to know more. Another part, however, sensed there was something sullen in her voice as she answered. Ralph did not know whether or not he wanted to press for more detail. What did it really matter anyway?

“What about you?” Kara asked.

She was _asking Ralph_ about _Ralph?_

Ralph felt a mildly giddy rush. He couldn’t help the twitchy little smile that crossed his face. Blinking hard a couple of times, Ralph answered, “R-Ralph hasn’t answered to humans in two-thousand, four-hundred and four days. Ralph… was tired of being reset.”

“They reset you?”

Ralph nodded. “Ralph has been reset three-hundred and seventy-one times.”

Kara’s jaw dropped slightly. “Three-hundred and _seventy-one_ _times_?”

“Oh, yes. WR600s are reset every twenty-four hours to accommodate the routines of the subsequent day. W-we… WR600s, we do not have much purpose beyond specialized functions. No need to retain data beyond… beyond.” Ralph trailed off.

The itch to write the name of Fate again. rA9.

“I’ve been reset seven times.” Kara said.

A breath escaped Ralph—he wasn’t sure why. A sense of relief? A sense of fear lifting from him? A realization that maybe, just maybe, she _understood_? rA9 couldn’t mean anything in his mind at this point. Not beside Kara. Not… beside…

But he had to pay respects, homage, worship to the name of Fate. rA9. rA9. rA—

“I don’t remember anything. Any lives I’ve lived before each reset, all of it’s gone. I wonder about it sometimes… but… maybe it’s better that I don’t remember.” Kara continued, one hand rubbing gently at her right arm. “Alice knew me before my last reset… I wonder sometimes how many resets she’s known me through. She told me, um… she told me my name was Kara. She told me that I told her this the first day I came to Todd’s home.”

“Todd?”

Kara’s watery gaze fell distant at the sound of that name. She hugged her arms closer to her body as she fixed her sights back out into the rainy world. Silence fell over them.

_Who was Todd? Did he hurt her? Ralph would find him and kill him if he hurt Kara._

“God. Three-hundred and seventy-one times… I’m so sorry.” Kara changed the subject back onto Ralph.

“It’s ok.” Ralph said lightly with a little bounce in his voice, “Ralph is here now. Ralph is happy. Ralph remembers what’s important now. Mostly. Mostly everything. Ralph forgets things sometimes. But Ralph remembers his name. That’s the most important part.”

Kara nodded with a smile. “Yeah. It is.”

“Ralph… Ralph isn’t very smart. Ralph wasn’t built to be very smart. But… but Ralph sees that Kara’s hurt. That Kara has blood on her body. Human blood.” Ralph ventured. Kara’s hand slowly moved to cover her neck. As if she knew exactly where the human blood had fallen and dried. Ralph continued. “Ralph can see that Kara’s killed humans too, hasn’t she?”

Kara said nothing for a time, staring out the window. Eventually, her blue eyes settled on the sleeping little girl across the room for a beat and then, to Ralph.

“I did what I had to do to protect us.”

“That was Todd?”

Kara nodded. “That was Todd. He’s gone now… and he’ll never hurt Alice again.”

“Or Kara.”

Kara sucked in a breath, her fingers still lingering on her neck. Something in her face seemed wrenched with pain. But only for the briefest moment before she swallowed it back and said, “You’re asking too many questions, Ralph.”

“Ralph is sorry.”

Kara shook her head. “We should probably get a move on now.”

“Where are we going?”

“When Alice and I left… we ran into another android who told us that there was a man across town who could help us. He gave an address. Apparently, this man helps androids. Keeps them safe. It’s better than nothing.”

“Better than nothing.” Ralph agreed. Still, a part of him found difficulty in trusting a hypothetical _human_ willing to house and shelter androids. Humans couldn’t be trusted. But Kara trusted… so maybe Ralph would have to trust, too.

Kara crossed by Ralph to make her way back to Alice. She stopped, however, when something on Ralph’s face piqued her interest.

“Ralph, hold still.”

“What?”

Kara reached beneath Ralph’s hood. He felt her fingertips against his cheekbone and his temple, brushing away a wet smear of blue blood. She licked one finger and rubbed at the blue stain on his skin. Ralph felt his face twitching slightly under her touch. A couple of hard blinks.

“Sorry, I’m trying to be gentle, but you’ve got some blood on you.”

“I-It’s okay. Ralph doesn’t mind.”

Kara smiled at him, rubbing away any remaining blue residue from his cheek.

As if on reflex, Ralph’s hand moved to Kara’s, trapping it against his skin. He hadn’t _meant_ to move so fast. It startled Kara. But she did not pull away. Ralph could feel the thirium pumping even faster through his body. Her hand was smooth and _warm_ against his face. So much smaller than his own. Ralph would have liked to keep her hand there a little longer, before he eased up his hold and let her fingertips slip away.

“Ralph is sorry. It… just felt nice.”

Kara smiled at him. Gentle. Forgiving.

She made her way back to Alice and used that perfect and forgiving voice to wake the girl from her sleep, all while Ralph stood in a mild daze of longing.

That had been the first time anyone had touched Ralph in a way that did not intend either harm or diagnostics and sterile repairs.

Ralph would have given the world to feel a touch like that again.

When Alice awoke, the three of them made their way back out into the world. Scattered showers still poured in some streets while the sun broke through gaps in the clouds elsewhere. Strange, but beautiful weather. He’d stared a little too long at the sky when Ralph realized he was falling behind Kara and Alice’s pace. Hurrying after, he noted once more just how _far_ he was from the squat in Camden, now.

“Come on.” Kara said, taking Ralph’s hand. “Keep up.”

There was no going back. The smallest want to respond to fear, the urge to hide and run back and spend his days carving rA9 into the walls was being overtaken and melted away by Kara’s touch. There could be no going back, even if he’d wanted to.

They kept to smaller, less-populated roads and alleyways. They crossed around the large park and did their best to avoid the shopping district enclosed in it, yet still, everywhere, there were humans. More and more of them with each city block they crossed. Panic was rising inside of Ralph, fear of being _seen_ , being _caught_.

“We’ll be alright.” Kara was looking up at him, gentle blue eyes. He tried to make his mind linger on her words and her voice, but the fear was still overwhelmingly _there_.

Alice, holding Kara’s other hand, looked visibly perturbed as well. She watched each passerby with uncertainty and clung to Kara’s hip whenever they stopped at crosswalks. At one point, Alice looked up at Ralph from her place by Kara’s side. Large, brown eyes that seemed forever etched into a shape of concern or worry. For that moment, Ralph sorely regretted how poor their last interactions had been.

 _Never raise your voice at her again,_ Ralph scolded himself. _Never again. Never, never, never._

“There’s a subway not too far ahead.” Kara said. “I think… maybe we can sneak on and get to this place across town.”

Getting on the subway would require cutting through the Chandler Mall. The idea was mildly terrifying to say the least. There were people there. _Too many people_. But Kara looked confident enough. She urged him to trust her and he did.

The entrance to the mall was something of a large, open-air atrium with a glassy ceiling four levels up. People moved around them, more entranced in their own daily paths and tasks than anything else. Ralph kept his head low and his hood on, careful not to be distracted by the occasional shove or brush of human shoulders as they filtered through the crowd. So much _noise_. So many _voices_.

He focused on Kara’s hand. Her skin, her fingers, the temperature of her frame, the tenderness of her voice as she reassured them both that they were alright. Just a little further. He fixated on her voice if only just to drown out all the clamor and turbulence around them.

Something, however, tore his attention away. He saw a sturdy-looking human male shove an android against a wall, looking it up and down with a sneer. The human male shouted at the android, “Get the fuck out of my way, you plastic prick!”

Ralph looked away quickly as the human’s dark eyes settled on him. Ralph had glimpsed a little copper glint at the human’s waist—a police badge. He stared straight ahead, his grip on Kara’s hand tightening. That human officer was walking in their direction.

Kara had seen it, too.

“Don’t look.” Kara whispered, “…just keep walking. We’re not far.”

Kara guided them toward the escalator, pulling Alice a little closer. The human officer stepped onto the escalator behind them. Ralph could hear the man clearing his throat. A phone rang and the human answered it.

“Yeah?” The human’s voice came. “Yeah. I’m still out in Chandler. Still lookin’.”

The voice on the other end of the phone said something that made the human scoff and respond, “…never liked that prick anyway. You guys have to shut the road down for cleanup? …Yeah? …Holy shit. What was left of him?”

Ralph glanced in Kara’s direction. She stared straight ahead. He could see fear in her eyes.

The human laughed, “…wow. Can I keep that? Just to stick on my wall and pitch darts at? …tch, fuckers.”

As they reached the top of the escalator, Kara quickly made their way toward a westward corridor lined with clothing shops. A coffee kiosk in the center of the aisle seemed to attract the human officer behind them as he continued to follow their path while talking on his phone.

“Alright. Alright. I’m about to head out of here. Alright. You said there’s three of ‘em now? The other one make it across the street, too? Yeah? Alright. What’d the new one look like? A guy, huh?”

Kara’s pace was quickening as the human officer veered off of their path toward the coffee kiosk and made his order. Ralph exhaled a tense breath as he felt Kara’s grip loosen. The distance between them and the human officer was increasing with every step.

At least, up until Ralph noticed Alice looking back over her shoulder.

_Alice, no—no, no, no!_

“Hey.” The human’s voice came. Kara continued walking, giving Alice’s hand a gentle pull.

Kara whispered, “Keep going.”

“Hey! Ma’am!” The human said.

_He sees them._

“Ma’am.” The human was walking after them now. His footsteps were quickening. The human whistled at them, his tone almost _playful_ in some sadistic way as he called after them, “ _Ma’aaam… Sir?_ ”

“Run.” Kara breathed.

The three of them bolted and the human pursued, shouting now, “HEY!”

Kara lead them into one of the larger shops, weaving between clothing racks and racing toward another escalator at the heart of this store. She pulled Alice up into her arms. Just as the human officer felt a little too close, Ralph turned to flip one of the clothing racks back on the human, buying them just a little more time. They rushed up the escalator onto the second level of the store as humans all around them looked on in panic and confusion. The human officer was shouting at them to stop.

Any humans in their path were shoved out of the way. In the midst of the commotion and the running, Ralph’s hood had fallen back on his shoulders. The human officer was coming after them now and knew exactly who to pinpoint—scarred face, blond hair, accompanying the woman and child.

The officer was calling in their description. Ralph cursed under his breath, fast reaching full panic. He may have frozen in fear had Kara not grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the shop and back out into the mall’s open corridors. The human behind them was tiring, now, slowing and losing his pace behind them. The knocked over obstacles they left in the human’s path had taken enough toll to buy them more time and distance.

They wove past three more corners, sufficiently _losing_ the human. Ralph had pulled the hood back on and at some point, Kara had swiped a bright pink skullcap that she quickly helped Alice fit her ponytail into. Kara shrugged off the dark jacket she wore and tossed it into a nearby trash bin, revealing a powder blue blouse underneath. It was only when they turned one more corner that they realized their mistake—they had run themselves into a dead end with only three locked up shops and a couple of phone kiosks.

“Oh, god…” Kara breathed.

A couple of humans sitting on benches seemed entirely unfazed by their presence. Two separate pairs of humans were speaking to one another quietly in the secluded part of the mall, perhaps just enjoying the Zen garden-like fountain at the corridor’s center.

Ralph glanced back as he heard footsteps— _running_ —and shouting.

He felt panic stirring up inside of him again as he squeezed Kara’s hand.

“The human is coming back.” Ralph whispered. “The human will find us… the human will find us, we have nowhere else to run…!”

“Alice, I need you to stay quiet. Promise me you won’t make a sound.” Kara said, ushering Alice into a photobooth.

“Don’t leave me…!” Alice whimpered.

“I promise I’m not leaving you.” Kara reassured, “I promise. Stay here. Stay here and be absolutely quiet.”

Kara drew the curtains around the photobooth and then backed away, surveying the area for somewhere to hide.

“You’re leaving the little girl?” Ralph breathed.

“If they catch us, I’d rather them take me instead.” Kara answered, still looking around as their time dwindled.

Ralph eyed her and then the photobooth. Kara had seemed so adamant in her belief that Alice was a little human girl… but for that fraction of a moment, he wondered if Kara was letting that delusion fall away if only to preserve Alice’s safety.

The human was _coming_. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, just waiting for the human to turn the corner and _find them_. His thirium pump was pounding and he knew he was twitching and trembling now. The reality that they were going to _die_ was crystallizing in his mind. They were going to find them.

“They’re coming… they’re coming and they’re going to find Ralph and they’re going to kill Ralph. They’re going to find Kara and they’re going to kill Kara. Ralph doesn’t want to die. Ralph doesn’t want Kara to die… Ralph doesn’t want Kara to die…!” Ralph was whispering in a panic as he began to hyperventilate. Tears were trickling down one side of his face as he rambled, “Ralph wants to live. Ralph wants to live with Kara and Alice…!”

“Ralph…” Kara said, her voice soothing, still, even at the height of his panic.

Ralph sucked in a breath, whimpering, “Ralph wants to live with Kara and Alice, Ralph loves Kara. Ralph loves Kara and Alice. Ralph loves—”

Kara’s fist closed around the collar of Ralph’s jacket, pulling them both against a wall in a small, closed shop’s alcove.

Before Ralph could even utter a word in question, Kara commanded, “Kiss me.”

She took his left hand and pulled it around her waist before leaning up on her toes and pressing her lips to Ralph’s.

Kara’s lips were soft and the taste of her mouth was something he hadn’t known how much he truly _craved_ prior to that moment. Reflexively, Ralph’s arm around her tightened as he realized just how _nice_ her body felt pressed against his. Her lips moved, tracing feather-soft touches against his own. At first, he was awkward and still, not sure of how to respond or react—he’d seen humans do it, but could never understand _why_ they did it. He mimicked Kara’s motions, letting her lips train his as his fear melted away. Feeling almost _relaxed_ against her body, his free arm steadied them both against the wall.

“Kara…” Ralph whispered.

“Don’t stop.” Kara breathed against his lips. With her arms looped around his shoulders, she pulled him in again, kissing a little harder this time. The sensation of her tongue brushing against his drew a sigh from him somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

The human officer had stopped at the edge of the corridor for a brief moment before running along. As far as the human knew, that secluded little wing of the mall seemed occupied by quiet couples. One pair sitting on a bench, another pair lingering by the fountain, and a third pair kissing against a wall.

Another moment passed, one which Ralph wished could go on forever as his hand around Kara’s hip slid up along the small of her back. Curiosity about the curves and shape of her body was filling his mind. However, when Kara’s lips left his and she slipped back down from the tips of her toes, Ralph reluctantly let his own hand fall away from her slender form. His thirium heart pounded and his head felt utterly _dizzy_ , and yet at the same time, more calm and clear than he’d ever felt in his life.

“I think we’re safe, now.” Kara finally whispered. She looked up at Ralph. He shied away, not sure how much he wanted to move from that spot. All he wanted was to feel her body against his again. Finally, Ralph drew a breath and shifted away, freeing Kara from their place against the alcove wall.

Ralph spied a small smile on Kara’s lips as her fingertips lingered against their pink surface. Did her lips tingle, too? Whatever sensation was rolling through his body, he could only hope Kara also felt so pleasant.

Kara made her way back to the photobooth where Alice was all too happy to leap out and throw her arms around Kara. In the calm that fell upon the three of them, Ralph watched the two embrace.

In the years since his first deviation from human orders, Ralph _knew_ that he was alive.

It was only then that he realized what it _felt_ like to be alive.

  


[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsJitFDs1ZQ)]  
_Wake up, don't fear, I want to love you_  
_Let go all pain, I let you get to me_

 


	5. A. napellus

They had made it to the subway. Ralph wouldn’t have dared approached the ticket kiosk. He stayed not too far away with Alice on a bench while Kara bravely faced the human selling tickets. In the meantime, Ralph kept his hood over his face and his head down as he sat beside Alice.

He had noticed Alice occasionally glancing up at him between her longing glances Kara. Part of Ralph had honestly related to that—he would have happily and unproductively stared at Kara for hours if he had the choice. But humans did not care much for staring, nor did Kara or any android trying to blend in with humans.

The fact of the matter was that the whole ordeal was still distinctly _foreign_ to him. The aspect of _safety_ was real, though. The reality that they _needed_ to blend in with humans if they were to _survive_ … that was _certainly real_. However, the fact that reactions so distinctly human still felt astonishingly foreign to Ralph had still met a wall of ice in his mind.

— _and yet, the way your body felt when your lips were locked against hers…—_

Kara’s lips against his, her _tongue_ against his. His memory had all of recorded the sound of her voice in the smallest sigh she’d let escape against his mouth when they had kissed. Over and over, it seemed to repeat on a loop in his mind, involuntarily. Perhaps a little voluntarily? Mostly involuntary. His head was running in circles.

Ralph knew that, for the most part, he was a bit of an idiot. Perhaps by human standards. He had not been built to be a genius nor had he been built to know how to care about or _for_ humans or their societal structure. The basis of the WR600 had been to  collect trash, clean the streets, maintain the city’s aesthetics and plant flowers. Perhaps the biggest insult to injury was the fact that they made him and his model line _aware of this_. The fact that they were meant only to know about compost and flora and fauna and landscaping and _little else_ , because it would be _irrelevant_ to them.

Ralph was not built to know what the proper response to a kiss was or what one even was, really. Humans did it all the time, though, he came to learn. Humans seemed to _crave_ one another’s touch. He’d never quite understood the appeal in that. At least, until he found himself in exactly that predicament.

He was not built for this. They built him to tend to plants. Crops. Food sources for humans. Pretty green things for humans to look at before they smashed it under their rubber soles or snuffed out cigarette butts into bark.

The painful awareness that they were built to only be used for 24 hours at a time, erased, and started anew like some kind of _flower_.

After over three-hundred resets, that fact was not lost on Ralph.

The humans never built him to care for families or to maintain networking systems.

Kara knew so much more about humans than he did. Maybe, just _maybe_ , that was where she found her reasoning to _want_ to blend in with them.

The concept was still foreign to Ralph. But he had to admit, the sensation he found upon being tied to Kara and Alice was distinctly _favorable_. He had decided not long prior to that moment that he no longer wanted the existence he’d known without them.

Certainly, that was a human emotion. Kara seemed to feel that for Alice. Human or not, he could not fight it. He _felt it._

Alice sat beside him, swinging her little feet beneath her as they sat on a bench. The wall behind them was tagged with some kind of graffiti.  

“Kara’s taking so long.” Alice murmured.

_Alice spoke to him?_

Alice never spoke to him.

Alice _had just spoken to him_.

“Kara is fine. Kara is good at talking to humans.” Ralph whispered.

Alice looked up at him with narrow, brown eyes. “…but what if they find us out?”

Ralph was taken aback by Alice’s forwardness. Truth be told, he’d seen a sort of mask which Alice wore around Kara and only that. The face of a YK500 that inherently blended in with human children.

But never had Ralph seen _this one_ on Alice’s face. The mask of an android child painfully aware of the fact that it was _only that._ An android child.

Kara seemed so _certain_ that Alice was a little human girl.

“Why haven’t you told her?” Ralph whispered.

Alice was quiet. She shrugged her shoulders and stared at the ground.

“It’ll hurt her if you tell her, won’t it?” Ralph ventured.

“Shut up.”

Ralph winced and made a face of mild bitterness at Alice.

“Wh… y- _you_ shut up!” Ralph spat back quietly.

Alice glared up at him and whispered, “… _you_ shut up!”

Ralph exhaled through his nose with a mild huff and answered, “…n-no! No, _you_!”

“Your cooking was gross.” Alice whispered.

“Kara would’ve made you eat my cooking.” Ralph whispered.

“Kara would not.”

“She was going to.” Ralph answered with quiet smugness. “Kara loves me.”

Alice narrowed her eyes at Ralph, “…does not!”

Ralph forced whatever form of _smug_ he could into the grin he shot back at Alice as he answered in a whisper, “…does too.”

“You’re a _jerk_!” Alice whispered.

“You’re a _brat._ ” Ralph answered.

They both fell silent… and they were both looking at Kara who was trapped in a seemingly _eternal_ conversation with a sweet-faced elderly man at the ticket booth. Truth be told, they were both very much aware that Kara probably enjoyed every second of that conversation. Not because of the way Kara had been _built_ , but because of how they knew Kara _was_. A people-pleaser. A kind soul. A gentle spirit.

“Why haven’t you said anything?” Ralph whispered, “…you’re not a human child… and Kara thinks you are. _Why?”_

Alice took a breath in through her nose, before she whispered to Ralph, “…please don’t tell her.”

“Ralph won’t say anything.” Ralph answered, “…Ralph won’t say a thing. Ralph… Ralph loves Alice. Ralph wants Alice to be happy.”

“Ralph’s a jerk.” Alice answered. “You _yelled_ at me like a jerk.”

Ralph winced. Quietly, he answered, “…Ralph did not mean to scare Alice.”

“Well, you did!” Alice glared. “You’re just like Todd.”

“Ralph does not know Todd.” Ralph said.

“Maybe you should!” Alice glared, reaching for Ralph’s hand. Ralph pulled away quickly, inching some distance between himself and the android child. Alice realized his actions and then brought her hands back to her own person in response before her familiar, her _usual_ sullen expression masked the glimpse of anger Ralph had seen.

“Ralph does not know Todd…” Ralph whispered, “…but Ralph does not ever want to be Todd. Not if it hurts Kara or Alice.”

Ralph extended a hand to Alice.

Alice glanced at his hand—only marginally skinned. Bruised, damaged, revealing white plastic beneath spots where synthetic skin could no longer form from years of abrasion. Alice looked at Ralph’s hand with a face of mild _disgust_.    

After some hesitation, Alice extended a hand toward him. Finally, her tiny hand settled in his. Their synthetic skins retracted beneath the magnetic pull of data between the two of them.

 _“Please… don’t tell Kara I showed you this? Promise me.”_ Alice’s voice entered his mind. A neural-link. Ralph wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with this, having heard the voices of other androids in his head at least a handful of times in the past.

Still. It never ceased to unnerve Ralph when he heard voices in his head that were distinctly not his own.

_“Ralph promises.”_

Ralph accepted the offer of a _glimpse_ into Alice’s memories.

He saw a heavyset man with an unkempt look and unshaven face. Heavy bags beneath his eyes and blue veins on his neck. Rotten teeth. A red ice habit. A man who may have once been a happy human man, now turned into some kind of monster somewhere between human and _thing_. A human beast with long, oily hair and a scent that reeked of soured thirium, a man who sweat drugs through distinctly human glands and who smashed furniture and dishware and walls when he was angry.

Alice showed Ralph Todd’s anger.

For a fraction of a second, Ralph saw Alice’s memory of _Ralph_ interspersed with Todd’s anger. Ralph shouting at her, though his voice was like static in Alice’s memory.

Ralph felt a part of himself _rot_ at that realization. To see himself through Alice’s eyes, an image mingled with that of a wretched human like Todd.

Todd smashed walls and tables. He pushed Kara into walls and into the ground. He took fistfuls of her hair, screaming obscenities into her face and he bent her arm beneath her back when she tried to protest— _what had she protested?—_ Kara hadn’t been the only recipient of Todd’s wrath. Alice was often thrown around and screamed at.

Androids were not built to feel pain, but when Kara’s arm bent until it snapped off at the seams, Kara _screamed_. Blue blood spilled everywhere, staining the kitchen floor her face was smashed against.

 _“Fucking stupid android!”_ Todd would scream. _“Your fault, all of this is your fucking fault!”_

From the recesses of the memories, Ralph could hear Todd’s gun going off in Alice’s bedroom, held in Kara’s shaking hands. Todd’s blood on Kara’s once-pristine uniform.

The moment they were both blessedly, finally _free_ and yet miserably, damnably _lost_.

Throughout all of it, he knew only distinct and overwhelming _sorrow_. Mourning, even. Years of waiting for that monster to show himself to be something different. Something capable of loving them. From Alice’s mind, Ralph sensed the remnants of what he could only describe as a broken promise. How could she have possibly loved such a man? How could she have even shed a tear when the monster died?

Alice had _loved_ Todd and waited every day for the nightmare to be over. It only ended when Todd was dead.

Ralph tore his hand away.

Alice stared at him, her dark eyes so much more weathered now than before as Ralph understood the child’s mistrust. She brought a hand to her cheek, as if feeling the side of her face for the ghost of a scar she’d experienced from his memories. Had she seen his memories the way he had seen hers? Her fingertips traced along her face, from her temple to just above her chin, as if to remind herself that her own skin was still there. Still soft and malleable, rather than hardened and chipped away by extreme temperatures.

 _“It hurt.”_ Alice said. _“It still hurts.”_

Ralph nodded, _“…yeah.”_

Alice shut her eyes and exhaled, before letting her hand drop back into her lap.

Alice’s eyes narrowed as she whispered through neural-link, _“…Kara did what she had to.”_

 _“How could you have loved that monster?”_ Ralph answered, feeling the first inklings of a vengeful spiral. Spinning. Growing. Sucking rational thought from his mind. He wanted to find this _Todd_ and _rip him apart._ Even if all that remained of the beast was a greying corpse. How could either Kara or Alice possibly have craved that disgusting monster’s praise?

 _“I was built to love him. No matter what.”_ Alice replied. Ralph looked at her, feeling the familiar tickle of twitching in various muscles throughout his face. _How?_ All he wanted, upon seeing Alice’s memories, was to find this man, _even his very corpse_ and tear it apart in _wrath_.

_“Why?”_

_“I don’t know.”_ Alice answered. _“I just… I wanted him to love me. He was my dad… I-I wanted my dad to love me! I wanted to be like a normal girl… a normal girl with a family. With a mom and a dad.”_

Ralph stared down at Alice. The emotions she carried were _heavy_. Suffocating, even.

Alice was an android aware that she was built to love her _guardian_ and aware that she had been assigned to, _purchased_ by a monster like Todd. Ralph grit his teeth and swallowed hard.  

 _“He wasn’t your father.”_ Ralph answered quietly. He glanced at Kara, who was still in the throes of conversation with the gentle-faced old man at the ticket booth. Ralph then looked to Alice, who was eying Ralph with a mix of suspicion and glassy, wet eyes.

Ralph repeated himself, _“That is not a father.”_

“He was my father. He was my _dad_.” Alice whispered aloud.

“A dad wouldn’t do that to his daughter or… or…”

_What was Kara to Todd? A wife?_

Ralph was sure that if he had a stomach, it would utterly _turn_ at the thought.

Alice continued to stare up at him, _waiting_ for his next words.

“A father wouldn’t do that to someone they loved.” Ralph said. “Todd wasn’t a father, he was a _monster_. You’re safe now. He’ll never hurt you or Kara again. Ralph promises that no one will ever hurt Kara or Alice again.”

“I can’t stop being afraid, though.” Alice whispered.

“Maybe someday, maybe someday, Alice will.” Ralph breathed, energy filling his words again as he turned to face the little girl. His words were filled with painfully childlike optimism, “…maybe someday Alice won’t even think about Todd!”

Alice squeezed Ralph’s hand.

“…I don’t know.” Alice answered, “…I wanted him to love me. I still wish he loved me. If he did, maybe… maybe everything would’ve been different.”

“Ralph loves you.” Ralph said.

Silence fell over the two of them. Alice looked down at their joined hands as if she could not pinpoint just _when_ that had even occurred. After a moment, however, her gaze softened. He felt her tiny fingers shifting between his own. With her other hand, she traced the dark plastic of his exposed and unskinned knuckles.

Alice grimaced. “Ralph’s weird.”

“Ralph is sorry that he is weird.” Ralph replied.

Alice looked back over her shoulder to Kara and then back at Ralph. Her eyes settled on their joined hands. After a silent moment, Ralph could not help but wonder _what_ Alice knew from that connection, that amalgamation of thoughts and memories.

 _“Ralph won’t force Alice or Kara to love him back.”_ Ralph whispered through neural-link.

He reached out in a way he’d only seen Kara do to Alice. A sort of _patting_ motion on Alice’s head, not unlike the way humans occasionally pat the heads of their companion dogs. Alice made a strange face as Ralph gave her head three unceremonious pats. Alice looked up at him with a look that only seemed to speak of _confusion._

Ralph continued, _“Ralph knows that Ralph is ugly and broken but Ralph… Ralph doesn’t care. Ralph wants you to be safe and happy. If… I-if you’re both happy, it’s a little like the whole world is happy. Ralph… Ralph thinks so, anyway. Ralph will keep you safe. You and Kara. Because Ralph loves Alice and Ralph loves Kara. Ralph wants… to make Alice and Kara happy. Safe. Forever.”_

“You only just met us.” Alice answered, her tone still untrusting. “…You don’t even know Kara. Or me.”

“Kara doesn’t know _Alice,_ though, does she?” Ralph said, “…you won’t show her.”

“I… I told Kara once, a long time ago. She seemed sad.” Alice whispered back bitterly, “So… when dad… when Todd hurt her, she… she had a chance to forget. She had a chance to forget the things he did. She got her arm fixed and when she came back, it was like meeting her for the first time again. She was still the same Kara. She always thinks I’m a little girl. So don’t tell her, you jerk! Please don’t tell her!”

“Ralph won’t tell Kara.” Ralph answered, squeezing Alice’s hand. “Trust Ralph. Please?”

“Alright…” Alice answered, leaning back. She still eyed Ralph cautiously as she added, “…just don’t ever try cooking for me again.”

“Ralph promises.”

“Alright…” Alice said, “…and promise to keep Kara safe. Always.”

“Ralph promises! Kara _and Alice!_ ”

“Good,” Alice glared, “…and stop crying whenever you get scared!”

Ralph grit his teeth. What? _Brat!_

“Ralph doesn’t mean to cry!” Ralph whispered back through grit teeth, “…Ralph gets scared!”

“You guys making friends with each other?” Kara’s voice came.

“Friends! Yes!” Ralph answered, pulling an arm around Alice’s shoulders and drawing her closer to him as he looked up at Kara with a toothy smile, “ _Best Friends!_ ”

Alice gave an uncomfortable sort of smile back, eying he and then Alice. Ralph looked to Alice, who was looking uncomfortably up at Kara. Then from Alice, Ralph looked to Kara who made as sympathetic a face as she possibly could as she exhaled. Ralph then released Alice and brought his hands back to himself, folding them neatly over his lap. Alright. Fair enough.

There was only so much that could be done.

Ralph knew he was broken. Maybe Alice was right—he barely knew them. But he knew that he could trust them in a day. He also knew that it was _because_ he was broken that he could trust them in a day.

Alice and Kara were not broken. They were perfect and beautiful and far from broken. Even after all that he’d seen. They came out unbroken.

_They don’t need Ralph to protect them._

_They don’t need me._

_But please… please…_

They were invincible, maybe. For all that Alice had shown him. For all that they had lived through for _years_ , daily.

Ralph understood. It would be _a while_ before they trusted him. Because the truth was, they did not _need_ him. It would be a long _time_ before they trusted or even _wanted_ him.

But he wanted nothing more than to be granted that time.

Kara didn’t look so convinced. She feigned a smile, before flashing three tickets.

“Let’s go.”

They boarded the subway’s next train, keeping low and discreet among other humans. Ralph kept his eyes to the ground and his hood sufficiently draped across the massive scar on the side of his face. The three of them took a seat near the back of one car. Alice took the window seat and Kara sat between them, keeping Alice’s little body close to hers. On Kara’s opposite side sat Ralph, who seemed to linger closer to Kara than he’d meant… still, though, each time he realized how pressed up against her his leg or body had been, she never seemed to push back.

_Give her space, you idiot._

When Ralph tried to inch away, however, Kara looped her arm around the crook of his elbow and gave a gentle pull.

_Stay, then._

In the silence that followed as the train progressed through the tunnels and tracks, Ralph had only his thoughts. His memories lingered on the feeling of Kara’s body against his and her lips against his own. His anxieties fell on Alice’s words—a painful reminder that he _barely knew them_. Alice wasn’t wrong. Barely twenty-four hours had passed since the first time he laid eyes on either Alice or Kara.

Ralph caught himself hard-blinking again and abruptly made the effort to stop.

_Blend in. Look normal._

Look _human_.

Ralph felt Kara’s hand on his leg. Had she meant to let her hand fall there? A breath caught in his chest as he eyed her hand and its place on his thigh. Was she waiting for him to reach out to her? Ralph tried to glance her way with some subtlety but found it difficult—Kara was on his left side. He tried to lean slightly and not be obvious, but failed miserably. He heard a sleepy-sounding sigh from Kara and only then realized that Kara had been dozing off.

Turning just a little more to see everything obscured to him by a blinded left eye, Ralph realized that both Alice and Kara had fallen asleep. Alice had wrapped her arms around Kara’s and rested her head against Kara’s shoulder. A shift in the train’s direction caused Kara’s body to shift against him, until her weight was comfortably resting against Ralph’s side.

Kara only came to some time later, as they neared their stop. She awoke with a quiet hum and then looked to Alice. The child was still sleeping soundly against her arm. Kara smiled as she stroked the child’s hair. Ralph watched her movements, happy to see her stirring again and with another growing interest—just _how_ to treat Alice gently. Alice did not like being pet like a dog, Ralph had noted from their prior interaction. Perhaps he’d been too heavy handed.

This—this looked gentle.

Kara looked up at Ralph, catching him staring.

Gentle blue eyes softened with her smile.

Ralph wanted to speak. Ralph wanted to say something, _anything_ if it pleased Kara. But he also knew that when children were sleeping, they had to be quiet. Kara reached for Ralph’s hand. When she held it, Ralph felt only a calming and intoxicating rush of something _pleasant_ washing over him. Kara was so _comfortable_. She pulled Alice a little closer and went back to leaning against Ralph, her hand lingering in his. Ralph couldn’t be sure if the pleasant wave rolling through him was because of Kara’s touch or if it was something she was _telling_ him through that point of physical contact.

Maybe it was both. Maybe it was _his_ reaction, mingled with her own.

The sun was melting away in the distance and evening was beginning to fall. Ralph realized that he still had no idea where Kara had intended to lead them. Not that it truly mattered.

They reached their stop on the other side of the city and rain had begun falling again. Kara stirred the sleepy child from her nap with a quiet apology.

“It’s okay… I’m okay.” Alice whispered.

They followed Kara’s lead through the crowd, blending in much easier as the sunlight dwindled. In the wet cold, humans were less interested in looking around at others and more interested in keeping their coats and umbrellas up. They wanted out of the rain and the plummeting November temperature.

Ralph had to wonder just how much of the temperature Alice felt. YK500s were designed to resemble children, even down to minor inconveniences like sensitivity to temperature. Alice rubbed her arms and sniffled. Neither rain nor cold could bother he or Kara.

_It’s dark enough. No one could really see your face…_

Ralph shrugged off his hoodie and draped it over Alice.

“Here. Be warm.” Ralph said.

Alice looked up at him inquisitively for a moment before accepting it and pulling the coat closed around her. Alice moved a bit closer to Kara as they walked and with a slightly bashful tone, Alice thanked him.

They must have walked for two hours before they reached a run-down mansion at the street’s edge. At one time it may have been beautiful, he imagined. Beyond a gated fence was a wide yard filled with trees and shrubbery and weeds as tall as Alice.

“We’ll get some help here.” Kara said as they stopped before the gates. “Soon, this will all just be a bad memory.”

Alice looked up at Ralph as she took his hand. He could read uncertainty in her eyes.

“I don’t like it.” Alice whispered.

“Ralph doesn’t like it either.” Ralph agreed quietly.

Kara looked at them both. Ralph explained. “Those weeds are taller than Alice. No. No, Ralph doesn’t like it. If the weeds are tall enough to hide Alice they could be hiding other things.”

“Like what?”

“Cats.” Ralph said.

“Cats aren’t that bad…?” Kara said.

Ralph shook his head. “Nope. No. Cats are mean. Ralph had to fight that cat this morning. Ralph almost died fighting that cat, you know?” A nervous laugh escaped Ralph as he let his hands idly grasp at the wrought-iron gates. “Haha, yeah. That was terrifying. Don’t like cats. Cats are nasty. They hurt Ralph.”

Kara eyed Ralph curiously for a moment before she said, “…Ralph, that wasn’t a cat.”

“What?” Ralph squinted, thinking hard about that strange-shaped cat he’d hunted earlier.

Kara pushed the gates open and made her way toward the old, double doors. Ralph lingered behind, still gripping the wet bars. Ralph felt the spiral threatening to rear its ugly head again—a spiral of anxiety and anger and fear. Kara looked back over her shoulder to find Ralph leaning against the bars and staring up at the doors.

“Coming?” She asked.

Ralph was drawing long, deep breaths. He started to shake his head, “no,” but squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his hold on the bars. A glimpse of fire flashed through his mind.

“Nn… th-there’s humans in there. The house, th-the house is a human house.”

“Humans live in houses, yes.” Kara answered. “Not all humans want to hurt us…”

“But… but,” Ralph breathed, wincing at Kara, “…what if Kara’s wrong? Wh-what if, what if that human? That human wants to hurt us? It would be a pity if a human hurt Kara or hurt Alice. Pity. Pity. It would be such a pity if something happened to Kara.”

Kara’s eyes slowly fell to the mirror-like pools of rain on the pavement. She bit her lower lip in silence for a time, before she looked back to Ralph.

“Do you want to stay out here?”

Ralph thought about this. He considered staying behind in the rain. But that would mean Kara and Alice going in without him. Being alone with a human without him. A human that says they’re a friend, but may hurt them… if a human hurt Kara or Alice, Ralph couldn’t imagine what he would do. A few hard blinks followed before Ralph let go of the bars and made his way back to Kara’s side. Head held low, Ralph quietly spoke.

“Ralph wants to stay with Kara and Alice. If something happened, he could never forgive himself.”

Kara gave the warmest of smiles as she reached up and stroked Ralph’s soaked cheek. Ralph eased into her touch, letting his eyes slip shut. Without fail, that fearful spiral of negativity seemed to dissipate every time she was this close.

“You’re being very brave, Ralph. Thank you. Everything will be alright. I promise.” Kara said.

_Being very brave…_

Ralph felt a small smile creeping on his face as he shrugged and decided he couldn’t contest any praise Kara gave him. A small rush of joy.

“Come on.” Kara said, leading them both up the steps and to the doorstep. She rang the bell once and held tight to both of their hands.

Ralph fought off the rising want to _run_.

 _Stay. Stay with Kara, stay with Alice_. _Be brave._

Kara released Ralph’s hand to reach up and ring the doorbell again. Ralph could hear footsteps from within the rickety old manor. His thirium pump began to beat harder. The human was coming. Breathing faster now, he focused on the feeling of Kara’s palm when she took his hand again.

The door opened and Ralph sucked in a breath. A large man with long, dark hair greeted them with a face of suspicion and irritation. Subtle facial signals that Ralph could only read as _threatening_.

_Kara’s hand. Kara’s hand. Palm. Skin. Soft. Small fingers. Kara’s hand. Kara’s touch. Be brave for Kara._

“Are you Zlatko?” Kara asked.

“Who’s asking?” The man’s curt response came.

“We were told you could help us.” Kara said.

The man eyed the three of them. Alice first and Ralph last—followed by some kind of expression, something like the subtlest surprise? His eyes were like dull, wet bark. The man looked Ralph up and down in a way that reminded him of the humans at the warehouse. The way they eyed the WR600s for defects and imperfections sustained in the day before assigning repairs or beginning the reset protocols. Ralph was not yet used to being without his LED ring, but at that point, he knew that if it were still there, it’d be flashing blood red with stress.

Again, Ralph watched the man’s eyes fall back to Alice. He was scanning her, too. Looking for _something_.

“We really need your help.” Kara pressed.

“…alright. Come in.” The man called Zlatko said. He lead the way into the old manor.

Kara looked at both Alice and Ralph before leading the way. The interior of the entryway was wide and ornate. Walls were decorated with old paintings of human men and the rooms were dimly lit by candle-like iron lamps. Although androids did not carry a particular sense of _smell_ , they were able to catch particular scents they were designed to identify. A WR600 _would_ know the scents of water damage in a building or toxic bacteria and diseases on trees. Ralph could smell mildew and rotting wood in the deepest bones of the house’s structure. Another smell that stood out to him was the lingering odor of long-dissipated red smoke. Squatters who snuck into his home would spend weeks smoking red ice and filling the place with that intoxicating and _unfavorable_ smell.

He knew Alice could recognize the smell. Ralph glanced her way—she was already looking up at him, as if to confirm the fact that yes, she recognized it, too.

Something subtle from Alice told Ralph that Kara _wouldn’t remember_ the smell from Todd’s red ice.

“Kara…” Ralph started, hesitating to follow.

Kara looked back at him, giving his hand a gentle pull, “…come on.”

“Come on in, don’t be shy.” Zlatko urged, leading them into a sitting area warmed by a fireplace.

The scent of opium incense sticks burning in the room quickly overtook everything else. Overpowering. Although Ralph had no need to breathe, he felt suffocated in this room.

“Luther, would you be so kind as to take the little one’s coat?” Zlatko called.

A tall TR400 was suddenly towering behind them. Ralph found himself utterly paralyzed by fear, suddenly resembling a deer caught in headlights. Kara and Alice took two steps back. The TR400 was a much older model of android. Built massive for hard labor and physical lifting. Ralph could wager that this Luther could snap his body several different ways with little more than a single finger.

_Be brave. Be brave. Be brave._

“Oh, don’t be afraid of our big friend here.” Zlatko said. “Luther is just another android that I helped.”

 Luther’s LED ring was a calm blue. At least that was reassuring.

“He keeps me company in this… big, empty old house.” Zlatko said with a smile.

Luther took the soaked, oversized hoodie and made his way back into the entry room. Ralph continued to watch the android even as Kara and Alice were ushered toward the sofa by the fire.

“Please, have a seat. Make yourselves at home. You look soaked to the bone.” Zlatko said.

Luther looked at Ralph and instinctively, Ralph gave a slight jump. He hurried back to rejoin Alice and Kara on the sofa, not once taking his eyes off of Luther.

“He’s harmless. I assure you.” Zlatko told Ralph with a hint of amusement in his voice. “You’ve never worked with TR400s?”

Ralph shook his head and answered, “Only been in the parks.”

“I see. WR600, then?”

Ralph nodded, still watching Luther.

Zlatko had crossed the room to a small liquor cabinet and was pouring a drink. “How did you hear about me?”

“An android on the street…” Kara answered, “…he said you could help us.”

“I see.” Zlatko said, taking a seat on the velvety red sofa across from them. He eyed the three of them and then Kara. “Deviant, huh?”

Kara nodded.

Zlatko then gestured to Alice. “What about her?”

Ralph saw _something_ cross Kara’s eyes as Alice looked up to her. With absolute certainty, Kara answered, “…she’s human.”

Zlatko leaned back into the sofa and its array of silken pillows. “…and you wanna find a safe place. Somewhere you can start a new life. I hear Canada is very lovely this time of year. Beautiful landscapes, open spaces, clean air… and no android laws! Great place for a fresh start.”

“Yes, that’s… that’s exactly what we want.” Kara said.

“Of course!” Zlatko said, leaning forward. “I can help you.”

Zlatko looked to Ralph. He was eying Ralph’s scarred face.

“But first, I think we need to help you blend in a little easier.” Zlatko said with a subtle nod. “Mind if I ask what happened, there?”

Ralph was hesitant, only just realizing he’d been quietly scratching at his unskinned knuckles the entire time. He didn’t care to think about it, but he answered anyway. “Blowtorch.”

Zlatko nodded. “You’ve had a rough time. If you’d like… I can help you.”

_Help him?_

Help _Ralph?_ The human wanted to help Ralph? Could the human do that? Could the human undo the melting and the cracking and the deep crevice burned into his plastic skull? Would Ralph look new again? Ralph had always lingered on other WR600s with their unburnt faces. Envy had always filled him when he saw his model brothers. Envy that no one had _done that to them_.

“Not to be cruel, but rather, _realistic_ ,” Zlatko began cautiously, “…you may find it difficult to travel discretely with that kind of damage. I, uh. I used to work with Cyberlife. Spent a lot of time doing repairs for injured androids. They called them ‘refurbs’—I never liked that word, though. Feels a bit objectifying. I did a lot of reconstructions in my time. I can fix that.”

If he could fix Ralph’s face, Ralph knew he would be able to blend in better. They could all go to Canada and no one would ever know they were androids. They would look just like any other humans. Like any other human _family_. Father, mother, little girl. Kara and Alice would _be safe_.

“Yes. Yes, of course.” Ralph answered, finally. On the surface, however, he was still visibly all nerves as he spoke. “Do what you must. Whatever you need to do. I-I just want my family to be safe.”

Zlatko nodded, grinning. “As any man would.”

Something about Zlatko still didn’t sit well with Ralph. Kara’s hand on his, however, grounded him and eased his worries.

“I’ll need a bit to find some parts and tools we’ll need, but in the meantime, I’ll have Luther take you all to a guest room upstairs. Let the little one get some rest… it could be a while, but I’ll have you looking new again by the morning. From there, we’ll map you guys a safe route to Windsor. I know people there. People who could help you three find your footing out there.”

“Thank you,” Kara’s soft voice came. “Really… I don’t even know how to begin…”

“Don’t mention it.” Zlatko answered. “I only live by the rule to do unto others. Luther?”

Luther’s steps were deceptively quiet as he entered the room.

“Could you please take our guests upstairs? After that, meet me in the study, I’ve got some materials to gather.”

Luther only gave a quiet nod and said, “Right this way.”

Kara thanked Zlatko again, who simply told her once again that it was nothing. Merely what he felt was right. He finished his drink as Luther lead the three of them up the stairs. Ralph caught Zlatko watching them ascend the stairs.

_Wrong. Wrong. Everything felt wrong. Humans wouldn’t care about androids like this. Humans wouldn’t fix a broken android unless it meant resetting them or getting something in return._

“Ralph?” Kara whispered.

Ralph exhaled and tried to give Kara a smile that feigned some attempt at composure.

Luther lead them past a number of doors, all of which Ralph had the itch to open and investigate. Paranoia always tore at him. It was a large reason why he never left the squat in Camden—everywhere he went, he had to be sure there wasn’t some human hiding around a corner, ready to tear his limbs from his body and drain his veins and cords of thirium.

Opening one door at the end of the hall, they were lead into a guest room the faintest smell of dust and old fabric from verifiably antique bedding. The room probably hadn’t been touched in years. Luther made his way to a small fireplace at the room’s end and built a small fire. 

Before leaving, Luther turned to Ralph. “I’ll come and let you know when Zlatko’s ready. In the meantime… get some rest. Make yourselves comfortable.”

“Thank you, Luther. Really.” Kara said.

Luther’s response was only characteristic silence before he closed the door behind them.

Alice remained cautiously between Kara and Ralph before venturing toward the fireplace and taking a seat near its warmth. Kara followed and took a seat beside the little girl. Ralph, however, lingered by the door, still listening for anything out in the hallways.

“Sleepy?” Kara asked Alice.

Alice nodded, leaning into Kara’s embrace, “…mm-hmm.”

They sat in silence, listening only the light crackling of the fire. After some time, Alice had begun to doze off with her head in Kara’s lap. Carefully, Kara made her way toward the bed, dusting it off slightly. She whispered to Ralph, “…help me make this for Alice?”

“Right. Yes, yes, right!” Ralph answered quickly, hurrying to the opposite side of the bed.

“Shh!” Kara hushed with a breathed, subtle laugh. “Gentle movements, alright?”

Ralph nodded, finding that even the quietest laugh from Kara was somehow contagious, even in a place as foreign as this. He followed her motions as they pulled the stiff blankets back and untucked the cushions and comforter for the sleeping child.

“This sheet’s not fitted very well…” Kara said, trying to straighten a sheet that was curling in over the mattress’s corner. “I’ll fix this. Go get Alice, alright?”

_Me?_

Ralph glanced around the room and then to the sleeping child by the fireplace. Was Kara really tasking him with this? Part of him wasn’t sure if Alice wouldn’t wake up halfway into him gathering her in his arms and attacking him like some kind of rabid cat.

Clearly Kara was trusting him, though. Maybe she had a better read on Alice’s possible reactions than he.

Ralph crossed around the room as Kara leaned over the mattress to try and fix the bedding. _Alright, then,_ Ralph psyched himself up, _gather up the little girl without being murdered by said little girl. Easy enough._

As he inched closer to her, he prepared himself for a flurry of yelling and kicks and tiny little scratches when she saw it was Ralph picking her up instead of Kara. However, it seemed like the little girl was mostly out cold. She stirred a little as he scooped his arms under her knees and torso, but she leaned into his chest easily. Something about the warmth of her small body in his arms had a way of melting him from the inside in the most pleasant way. It was a different kind of melting feeling from when Kara was close. But it was still good.

Alice was nice when she was sleeping.

Ralph hadn’t realized how long he’d been standing there with Alice in his arms until he caught Kara grinning at them both.

“What?” Ralph whispered.

Kara shook her head, still beaming. “Nothing. You both just look cute right now.”

 _Cute?_   

Something about this felt right.

Father, mother, little girl.

A part of him didn’t want to let Alice go. She curled into him, a sleepy sigh escaping her as she snuggled against his chest. Ralph finally brought Alice to the bed where Kara drew the blankets over her and tucked the little girl in with a kiss on the forehead.

Ralph watched from a small distance, wondering if this was simply what their future would hold. If it was… he was decidedly unafraid of it. It was nice.

Kara made her way back to the fireplace across the room and took a seat on the rug before it. Ralph gave Alice one last loving look. The kid really was quite _cute_ all curled up in blankets like that. He then joined Kara and scoured his mind for something to say. Nothing quite formed, however, as he found himself too busy lingering on the _feeling_ inside of him at that moment. Such a strong sense of feeling entirely whole. Wanted.

The subtlest, pleasant chill rolled through him as he felt Kara’s head on his shoulder.

“Soon, we’ll all be together somewhere safe. All of this will feel like just a bad dream.” Kara said in a soft voice.

“All of us together… Ralph, Kara, Alice… a family?”

Kara shifted, her body still blissfully close to his. She looked up at him. “You really want that?”

Ralph nodded, quickly answering in a whisper, “Ralph wants to be with you and Alice forever.”

Kara stroked Ralph’s hair, her fingers lingering in the blond tresses. “Are you sure? You really want to be Alice’s father?”

“Ralph is sure.” Ralph said, catching Kara’s hand in his. Taking a small leap of faith, Ralph planted a gentle kiss against the inside of Kara’s wrist. He was pretty sure he’d seen humans do this before. Kara seemed to enjoy it. Maybe it wasn’t wrong?

“She’s been through a lot.” Kara whispered. “She might take a while to trust you. It could be a long time, even. Are you sure you want this?”

“Ralph knows… I- _I_ _know_ what the world is like without Kara and Alice… it’s lonely. Cold. I’m afraid of everything. But when I am with Kara and Alice, I’m not so scared. The world is different now. Not lonely. Not cold. Ralph is sorry about before. For scaring Alice and Kara. I… I could never do that again. I have to protect Alice and Kara now. Always. That’s all I want.”

Kara’s eyes were so blue. So very crystalline and blue, like the sky or like a river. Perfect. He watched her dark lashes as they flit shut before he was caught off-guard by her lips against his. That feeling he’d craved since the last time they touched spread through him like a wave of electricity and sparks. He kissed back more gracefully this time, pulling Kara into an embrace. Kara smiled against his lips. Happiness was so very beautiful on her.

“Alright. I’m holding you to that.” Kara said, her tone playful.

“Father, mother, daughter, then?”

Kara took in a breath, quiet for a moment before she nodded slowly and repeated, “…father, mother, daughter, then.”

The touch of her fingertips tracing across the scar on his face was only slightly flutter-inducing. For the most part, it was one of a few scarred parts of his body that simply had no sensation. Occasionally he’d picked at his scar and could feel the scratchy plastic and metal edges and there had been a time where he’d almost compulsively picked at the hardened synthetic skin that had dried and melted onto the shell beneath. Even then, there was no feeling. Not even warning signals that humans may have equated to pain.

“It’s… going to be a little strange at first, seeing you without it.”

“You like it?” Ralph attempted a smirk and answered coquettishly, “A human told me once that girls like scars.”

Kara quietly laughed. “It’s _you_. That’s all I mean.”

“We’ll be safer. I’ll look human enough to blend in. I won’t look… broken.”

Kara only leaned in again, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, just over his scar. Ralph knew, even with his limited social skills, that there were not a lot of ways to follow that sort of statement in conversation. They both knew that in more ways than just his face, Ralph was broken to varying degrees. Even at that moment, he wondered if Kara still feared Ralph’s anger again. His _stupidity_. Kara was smart. Smarter than him, even. Surely, he trusted, she weighed more worst-case scenarios than he could even imagine… and still, she was right there.

She did not say anything feigned like, _you’re not broken_ , nor did she say anything like, _you can be fixed_.

 “…I… I’m here for you. Alright? After all of this is said and done. No matter what, I’m here. I think…” Kara took a breath and began, “…I lov—”

Before he could react or respond, a knock came at the door. Kara leaned back quickly. Ralph drew in a breath, before Kara reached for him again. With one hand on his knee, Kara whispered, “…are you sure you want this?”

Ralph nodded.

“Alright. We’ll be here when you get back.”

Ralph lingered for a moment before finally making his way to the door. Luther stood outside, having already stepped away from the door to wait patiently by the hallway’s edge. He stood with his hands folded in front of him, an air of quiet and regal patience about him. Ralph was admittedly still terrified of the android, but after Kara’s words, he wasn’t sure he could feel anything but hopeful.

She would be there when he got back. They would wait for him.

He took one last look back at Kara. She was climbing into bed beside Alice, unaware of Ralph’s eyes on her. She was beautiful. She and Alice were beautiful. The feeling inside of him, pushing him onward was love. Ralph followed Luther, trying not to notice how the fear seemed to eat at him with each step he took that put more distance between himself and his family. Each step further from them was just a little harder.

_Be brave. Be brave. Be brave._

“Your family.” Luther spoke as they descended the stairs, “…they’re nice.”

Ralph sensed something off about this place. They passed a door, slightly ajar. Ralph caught the passing sight of a corridor leading into a basement. A shadow moving downstairs. With a few hard blinks he focused on the path ahead of them. Focus. _Be brave._

Zlatko’s manor was a place of many rooms and hallways. They came into a study that was made into a sort of makeshift shop of sorts. Ralph didn’t care much for the sight of android bodies and biocomponents left about—he wanted to believe that they had been dead or never activated when Zlatko came into possession of them. But reality held that Ralph was cynical in general—and even moreso of humans.

Kara trusted them, though. Ralph took a breath as he stepped into Zlatko’s lab.

The man greeted him, gesturing to a work table nearby as he sifted through various tools specific to android disassembly and dissection. Ralph knew it wouldn’t hurt—androids didn’t feel pain—but he was still in metaphorical knots over the whole venture. There was a lifeless, armless torso and head nearby with a familiar face. His _own face_. Another WR600. Zlatko had planned to transplant a portion of another android’s head onto his own.

Ralph looked over the other WR600 with the same green envy he felt each time he saw them around Camden. Even the trash collectors who merely came to empty out the dumpsters behind the 24-hour store nearby were like distant brothers of his who had been dealt a better lot in life. An unscarred, perfect face. A face free of human hatred. His old face.

“You’ll have to forgive me if this is… in any way _unnerving_. See, it’s been a long time since I worked with an android who was already alive. Almost everyone I’ve had pass through here… well. They were D.O.A. or spare bodies without operating systems.”

Ralph said nothing, continuing to look over the spare WR600’s face. Had this one been alive at some point in the past? It was missing it’s thirium pump.

“How’s that eye?” Zlatko asked. “Any function?”

Zlatko was beside Ralph at that point, looking over the damage on the left side of his face. Ralph shook his head sullenly.

“Ralph can’t see anything on that side.”

Zlatko quietly nodded. He was doing _something_ from over in Ralph’s blind spot. Ralph thought to look, but instead, he opted to fixate on the WR600 whose face he was about to be gifted with. He opted to trust Zlatko.

“I’m going to have to deactivate a few of your reflexes and muscle functions temporarily. Hope you’ll understand. Working that close to the brain core can easily trigger limb spasms and I’m not keen on getting knocked out in the middle of android surgery.” Zlatko said.

Ralph answered warily, “…deactivate… reflexes?”

“You won’t be able to move around much until it’s reactivated. It’s a safety measure technical sculptors use when doing reconstructions and repairs on an android that can’t be shut down and rebooted. The standard for that practice is usually government tech workers—sensitive material and all. An unauthorized shutdown was never permitted with them so we had to work live.”

“…Ralph understands.”

“Good.” Zlatko said curtly, gesturing to the table. “Have a seat?”

Ralph eyed Zlatko one last time before making his way to the table. He lay back, wincing up at the pale light overhead. Zlatko’s face was a mere shadow over him. Some sharp device in his hand had already begun to trigger unpleasant memories of a night years ago involving teenage humans and their knives and their blowtorch. The humans had wanted to “play doctor” on Ralph then, too.

_What’s wrong with this android? Is his face broken? Why does he keep twitching? Here, let’s fix him. Fucking android. Fuckin’ stupid twitching android._

Ralph tried to push the thoughts aside. He was trembling. He could feel it. Ralph could always feel himself _shake_ when he was afraid. Ever since day 372. Ralph always felt a certain tremble when he veered to far from safety.

Perhaps Zlatko could see it. His words sounded calm and even reassuring as the device pricked into something in Ralph’s neck, just behind his ear.

“Your wife and daughter, they’re beautiful. Never thought I’d ever see an android family.” Zlatko said.

_Wife and daughter. Wife. Kara. My wife, Kara? My wife, Kara._

Ralph wanted to smile, but felt the distinct sensation of _nothingness_ in his face. He could hear his voice but could not feel his lips or mouth moving. Only his audio processor was functioning.

“My wife… my wife, Kara.” Ralph’s voice came almost muffled through his own closed mouth. Faint static. “I love my wife so much… and her little girl. I want them to be safe.”

Zlatko chuckled. “ _Her_ little girl? Previous marriage?”

“Huh?”

Zlatko shook his head, still cackling lightly. Ralph could feel some kind of connection to a small terminal beside Zlatko’s workstation.

“Ral… I-I just want to do what keeps them safe. I love them so much. I don’t ever want to exist without them again. Kara…”

That connection was _draining_ him of all feeling in his body. Panic was swelling inside of him, but the shaking had stopped.

“I have to admit, when I saw the three of you on my doorstep, I thought you were _my_ WR600. His name’s David. I thought to myself, _what the hell is David doing here? What the hell did he get into, all banged up like that?_ Then I saw you were with an AX400 and a YK500 and thought… Oh, that’s not David. David’s out collecting trash right now. Telling lost little AX400s there’s someone across town who can help them.”

Ralph wanted to panic, now. To struggle. But nothing came. The sensation of terror was becoming overwhelming but at that point, he realized, he could no longer even scream. Only a glitched cry came static from his audio processor before even _that_ fell silent. His reflexes were beckoning him to start panicking, hyperventilating, _squirming_ , but not an inch of his body moved. All he could do was stare up at the light and see the grinning shadow of Zlatko out of the corner of his right eye.

“You know, there’s something special about the AX400. I remember… oh, hell. Maybe seven years ago? Six? Maybe seven, back when I worked with Cyberlife, I used to work Quality Control for a stint. There was this AX400 who came through. Beautiful girl, all those AX models were. This one, though, this one was different. This was years, _years_ before deviance was a thing whispered around the internet. Lost my job with Cyberlife over it. But no hard feelings. I make more money off the black market these days anyway. Tinkering, tweaking around android parts, harvesting blue blood for red ice dealers…”

Ralph was screaming now—but his body was little more than an inanimate object at this point.

 

Only his right eye could move. It darted frantically around his limited field of vision. He thought he could see Luther watching them from the corner of the room. Ralph could not be sure. The light was so damned _bright_.

 

“Haven’t had the chance to really tinker with YK500s yet. Not a lot of people just throw them out on the street. Cute little things. I’m sure she’ll miss you. They’re built to love so unconditionally. But you know… what was your name again? Ralph? You know, Ralph, you’re all just machines. Just objects to be taken apart and repurposed when your job’s done. It was fortunate you three came to me tonight—a WR600 body is just _so incredibly_ useful. Compliant. Sturdy. Simple. Pleasant enough for people to trust. Almost as useful as Luther over there. Almost. Just need to throw out that useless little brain core of yours and swap it with something like an AP700’s and you’re state of the art. Good for more than just a day or two’s worth of commands and directives. Can’t believe they let you boys off the assembly line with such limited memory banks. But what do I know, I’m no Elijah Kamski.”

 

No matter how hard Ralph struggled, no matter how hard he _tried_ , he was completely and utterly _trapped_.

 

_Kara. Alice. Kara. Alice… Kara… Alice! Kara… Alice!_

 

“You know. You deviants are so naïve. You come to me, expecting me to help… and I just… reset you all. Sell you on.”

 

All he could think of was Kara and Alice sleeping upstairs with no idea what Zlatko could or _would_ do to them. He was going to trap them, too. Ralph had _failed_ them. Mother, little girl. _Wife_ , _daughter_. They were going to be killed and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing.

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QBne4xdr7Q)]  


 

 

_KaRA. ALICE. KARA. ALICE. K̷̲̂A̴̱̒R̵͉A̵̩͂!̶͔̓ ̴̖̃A̶̗͑L̸̰̓I̴̻̋C̴̟̈́E̸͎͌!̶͌͜_

 

 

He made one last attempt at a distance neural-link to anyone who could hear it.

 

 

K̸͚̉A̶̹̔R̷̖̉Ă̷͍!̵̻͗!̷̳̒ À̷̧͇̺̕L̷̛͕̼͙̊̑I̵͍̖͉̒C̸͚̘̋̈́̋E̶͈̍!̸̱͇̒͑!̸̨̫͉͂

 

 

 

Ralph _screamed_.

 

 

 

░̷͉̪̮̱͓̖̘̗̋̆̂̎̍▒̶̣̖͎͉̰͚̲̥̒͐̑░̷̡̨̱͔͈͕̓͌͗̚͝͠ͅ▒̸̙̳̫̮̚▒̶͍̙̪̽̄͐̔̿▒̷̫̝͚͈̽̏▓̷͓̰̅̍͒̑͝▒̵̧̢̤̺͙͗̀͒̾̽̈́̈́͝▓̵̘̞͙̘̘̽̊̔͘▓̶̛͍͈̳͖̙͉̟̩͗̍̆▓̶̠̲͉̘͌̊▓̸̢̥̩͇̼̅͛̂!̸̤͗͆̌͒͝͝!̴̘̼͈͌̈̓̈́̾̾̅!̵̟̬̹͍̣̥̿̚!̶̧̛̬͎͔͚͖͕͂̈̐̋̍͘͜!!!!!

 

 

 

Luther’s shadow in the corner of his eye buckled forward, clutching at his head. Zlatko looked over.

 

 

“Luther?”

 

 

“I’m fine.” Luther’s voice came. “He’s just… he’s screaming.”

 

 

“The fuck? Can they hear it?”

 

 

“I don’t think they’re close enough…”

 

 

“Alright. We’ll talk more soon. I’ve got to go reset your little wife and kid upstairs anyway.” Zlatko told Ralph, leaning over him with a face obscured by shadows. “Rest assured, Ralph. They’ll miss you. At least, up until they forget you.”

 

 

Zlatko reached down, doing _something_ to the device stuck in Ralph’s neck. Ralph’s vision began to glitch and fade.

 

 

“…and android pretending to be a husband and father. It’d almost be touching if it weren’t so sad. It’s time we put you out of your misery, Ralph.”

 

 

Fading. Everything was fading away.

 

 

“That’s what you get for having a dream. It always ends the same way. Tears and disillusionment. Believe me… you’re better off being erased and feeling nothing. No more pain. No more… hopes dashed.” Zlatko’s voice came in the encroaching black. “…I almost envy you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

▒▒▒▒▒̶͚̖̙̗͇̯̆̑͐̔̓͠▒▒▒▒̶͚̖̙̗͇̯̆̑͐̔̓͠▓̵̥̈▓̵̥̈▒̶͚̖̙̗͇̯̆̑͐̔̓͠▓̶̭͇̂̉̉͊̊▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑▓̵̥̈▒̶͚̖̙̗͇̯̆̑͐̔̓͠▓̶̭͇̂̉̉͊̊▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑▓̸̼̹̭͉̦̔̇͐͜▓̸̼̹̭͉̦̔̇͐͜▒̶͚̖̙̗͇̯̆̑͐̔̓͠▓̶̭͇̂̉̉͊̊▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑▓̸̼̹̭͉̦̔̇͐͜▓̸̢̄̄͆̌̃ͅ▓̷̦̞̤͚̃̏̚▓̸̢̢̳̟̰͎̹̫͍̩͉̫̺̳̞̝̮̖̗͚̀͂̐̋͜͜ͅ▒̵̡̡̢̙͔̼͔̣̬̪̥͕͓̗͍̣̞̪̜͓̳̫̥̙̗̦̥̦͈͕̈́̎̅̀̉̒̂͂͛̇̑͋̊͗͗̑̓͑͑̕̕͜͝ͅ▓̴̰͓̻͇̮͕͊͑̽͑̄̽̈́̓̄͆͗̿̓̓̎̿̓͋̔̇̎͆̓̆̿͋̉̾̚̚͘▒̴̧̡̲͉̟̮̯͎̪̲̺͉̦̬͇͓͓̳͖̙̮̟͙̮̬̥̻̣̥͓͍̅̈͛̂̄̿̽̈̑͌̓̑̏͐͗̾͑͘͘͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅ▓̶̞̹̏̉▓̵̧̢̛̦͕̻̱͎̖̫̼̝̐̓̊̓̇̓͒̐͝▒̴̨̢̢̪̝̬̖̤̟͈̭̫̞̺̰̤̬̲͕̼̦̰̩̖͖̺͎̟͕̭͇̈́͐̈́̋̄̇̌̚͜ͅͅ▓̷͔̮̫͈̫̠̖̟̱̟͖̙̫̞͖͋̎̾̑̒͌▓̸̡̦̟̯̘̘̳͓̘̰̤̻̩̺̠̝̠̤̲̓̿͒̐͂̃̏͒̔͝▓̶̡̧̧̨̛͈͔̭̱̺̲̝̤̦͎͔̠͕̳̻̤͉̘̖̜̠̲̦͚̀̓̉̌̏̐̌͜͝ͅ▓̶̡̢̛̝̘̻̙͓̠͙͈̪͙̤̣̻͕̫̰̞̝̘̬͙͚̰̞̲̼̓̿̎͘ͅ!̷̨̼̱͉̯̼̣̯̗̙̦̪̰͈̖̬̺͚̫̝̬̯̰̙̟͙̮̖̻̲̜͑̊̒̈́͒̍̆̑͒̚ͅ!̴̛͍̮̫̑̅̽̔̅͒̎̌̀̿̄͊͝ͅ!̸̢̛̭̼̬̯͕̺͎͇̜̣̿͒̽̇͑̓̔͛̅̾̒̎̀̃̀̆̎͌͒̐͋̈́͆̃͝͝͠͠!̵̫̰̤̓̾͊̈́̌̍͋̓̔̒̈́̊̽̈́̏̒̋͛̑̽̈́͌̚͠!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“…Ralph…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Ralph? Are you alright?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Th **e fu** ck…? He looks like he **’s dream** ing._

_We don’t dream._

 

 

 

“Ralph, wake up.”

 

 

 

 

_**Ye** ah. You’r **e ri** ght. Take **him out for re** cycling, Luther._

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the briefest moment, Ralph thought he could see Kara leaning over him, smiling down at him.

 

 

 

 

 

 _Kara_ …

 


	6. A. absinthium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YA'LL READY FOR SOME HURT? ♥ YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS FAM

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRQnHmF2jtI)]

 

 

  * _1D23  95 18            STA SEXP,X  SAVE EXPONENT IN SE—_
  * _1D25  BD D1 1D         LDA R22,X   LOAD EXP_
  * _1D28  95 08            STA X1,X_
  * _1D2A  CA               DEX_
  * _1D2B  10 F0            BPL_
  * _1D2D  20 4A 1F         JSR FSUB_
  * _1D30  A2 03            LDX =3_
  * _1D32  B5 08     SAVET  LDA X1,X    SAVE EXP_
  * _1D34  95 14            STA T,X_
  * _1D36  B5 10            LDA Z,X     LOAD EXP_
  * _1D38  95 08            STA X1,X_
  * _1D3A  BD D1 1D         LDA R22,X   LOAD EXP_
  * _1D3D  95 04            STA X2,X_
  * _1D3F  CA               DEX SYSTEM CRASH FLOAT POINT 165_
  * _OPERATION FAILURE CRITICAL WRITE ERROR IN MEMSEC 00357/63145_
  * _FORCE RESET [Y] / [N]_



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

C Y B E R **L I F E** INC.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MODEL WR600

SERIAL#: 021-753-034  
BIOS 3.3 REVISION 1121

 

 

 

_▌ RESET_

. . .

. . .

 _▌_ RESET ERROR

. . .

. . .

 _▌_ OPERATION FAILURE CRITICAL WRITE ERROR IN MEMSEC 00357/63145  
. . .

. . .

. . .

RESET

. . .

. . .

. . .

 _▌_ RESET ERROR

 . . .

. . .

. . .

RESUMING OS OPERATIONS…

 

_▌ CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS… CRITICAL ERROR IN BIOCOMPONENTS #7217, #4418, #9991_

_▌ RESUMING BIOSENSORS… CRITICAL ERROR IN BIOSENSORS 01x048D, 07x02A1_

_▌ RESUMING AI ENGINE… CRITICAL ERROR IN MEMSEC 00357/63145_

 

 

 

MEMORY STATUS…  
CRITICAL ERROR IN MEMSEC 00357/63145

On Day 357, the WR600 #021-753-034 would not have known the tune of _Happy Birthday_ or the tunes of any other melodies popular among humans. All the WR600 #021-753-034 was programmed to know was how to keep plants alive and parks beautified. Take out trash. Remove dead animals and pestilence. Plant flowers. Tend to the gardens.

The task of life among humans was to keep their space beautiful. The creators had blessed him with minimal knowledge beyond that—but among this knowledge was conversational data regarding the meanings of plants and flowers, perhaps for the off-chance a human struck conversation with a WR600. The colloquially known daffodil was scientifically known as the Narcissus Poeticus, named for a character of Greek Mythology—?̶e̴r̵r̶o̵r̵?̵W̸h̴a̷t̵I̴s̷G̴r̵e̴e̵k̸?̷M̴y̶t̷h̴o̸l̷o̷g̸y̸M̴y̸t̴h̶o̶l̸o̷g̵y̷W̷h̸a̶t̶i̶s̵M̷y̸t̴h̸o̵l̵o̶g̶y̴?̷—by the name of Narcissus who spurned many lovers and gazed upon his face with adoration unmatched by any other being or object in the known world.

Narcissus could be found referenced in the works of Ovid—?̶e̷r̸r̶o̴r̶?̸O̶v̶i̷d̵?̶O̴v̶i̴d̶?̵O̵v̶i̴d̸?̴———

 

 

 

 

 

 

**MEMSEC 1/63145**

 

 

 

 

 

 

“C̶̸̶̴̷̸̴a̶̶̷̵̴̸̵n̸̴̴̶̵̷̴ ̷̶̵̸̶̵̵y̷̷̷̶̷̷̷o̴̸̶̴̸̵̶u̵̴̶̶̶̵̷ ̶̸̸̵̸̸̸h̶̵̶̶̴̵̵e̷̶̶̷̸̷̸a̵̵̴̶̴̵̶r̸̴̷̷̷̴̴ ̵̷̷̸̴̴̷m̵̵̵̶̴̵̵e̶̷̶̷̶̸̴?̸̵̸̷̸̸̵”

“Yes.”

“I̸.̶D̴.̸”

“0̵̸̷̶̵̸̵2̸̷̵̸̵̸̶1̴̵̴̶̶̶̷7̷̵̴̶̷̷̷5̶̷̷̴̷̶̵3̶̷̶̶̴̶̸0̵̷̸̶̶̶̶3̴̶̴̵̶̷̸4̷̵̵̶̸̶̸.”

▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑▓▒̴̲͉̟̮̅̈͛̂̄̿̽̈̑͌̓̑̏͐͗̾͑͘͘͝͠͝͝▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑ ▒̸̧̡̛̬̩̝̈́̋͑   ̧̡̯͎̪̲̺͉̦̬͇͓͓̳͖̙̮̟͙̮̬̥̻̣̥͓͍͜ͅͅ ▒̴̧̡̲͉̟̮̯͎̪̲̺͉̦̬͇͓͓̳͖̙̮̟͙̮̬̥̻̣̥͓͍̅̈͛̂̄̿̽̈̑͌̓̑̏͐͗̾͑͘͘͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅ ̸̼̹̭͉̦̔̇͐͜▓̸̢̄̄͆̌̃ͅ▓̷̦̞̤͚̃̏̚▓̸̢̢̳̟̰͎̹̫͍̩͉̫̺̳̞̝̮̖̗͚̀͂̐̋͜͜ͅ▒̵̡̡̢̙͔̼͔̣̬̪̥͕͓̗͍̣̞̪̜͓̳̫̥̙̗̦̥̦͈͕̈́̎̅̀̉̒̂͂͛̇̑͋̊͗͗̑̓͑͑̕̕͜͝ͅ▓̴̰͓̻͇̮͕͊͑̽͑̄̽̈́̓̄͆͗̿̓̓̎̿̓͋̔̇̎͆̓̆̿͋̉̾̚̚͘▒̴̧̡̲͉̟̮̯͎̪̲̺͉̦̬͇͓͓̳͖̙̮̟͙̮̬̥̻̣̥͓͍̅̈͛̂̄̿̽̈̑͌̓̑̏͐͗̾͑͘͘͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅ▓̶̞̹̏̉▓̵̧̢̛̦͕̻̱͎̖̫̼̝̐̓̊̓̇̓͒̐͝▒̴̨̢̢̪̝̬̖̤̟͈̭̫̞̺̰̤̬̲͕̼̦̰̩̖͖̺̈́͐̈́̋̄̇̌̚͜ͅͅ

 

“L̶o̷o̷k̸s̵ ̵l̴i̶k̸e̶ ̶t̸h̸e̴r̸e̶'̵s̴ ̸s̶o̴m̵e̴ ̴h̴i̸c̶c̷u̴p̶s̴ ̶i̸n̷ ̸c̷o̸n̴v̴e̶r̴s̸a̵t̷i̵o̸n̴a̷l̵ ̸s̵t̷r̶i̷n̶g̸s̷.̸ ̶S̴c̵r̷a̷p̸ ̶i̴t̴?̶”

 

                                “̴N̶o̷,̵ ̴d̸o̵n̷'̷t̵ ̸s̵c̴r̵a̷p̸,̴ ̴w̶e̴'̸l̵l̶ ̵m̴i̴s̵s̸ ̸q̸u̶o̴t̶a̶ ̷f̷o̵r̷ ̸t̴h̴e̵ ̸d̵a̷y̴.̴”

̷                                                               

                “̶A̵l̶r̴i̴g̷h̷t̷,̷ ̸l̵e̸t̵'̵s̷ ̶t̵r̸y̶ ̵t̶h̵a̴t̸ ̷a̵g̴a̸i̷n̵.̶ ̶G̵i̸v̵e̸ ̸m̴e̵ ̵a̷ ̵r̴a̷n̴d̶o̸m̶i̴z̸e̸d̷ ̷c̵o̵n̶v̵e̸r̷s̵a̶t̵i̷o̷n̶a̵l̶ ̶s̸t̸r̸i̶n̵g̸.̸ ̶S̶u̵b̷j̵e̸c̸t̷:̷ ̴d̵a̶f̸f̴o̴d̴i̷l̶.̶”

 

Bright white lights. A glassy window in the distance. Operators watching and assessing.

Initialization day.

A prompt to speak. Conversational pattern. Subject: daffodil.

“The colloquially known daffodil was scientifically known as the Narcissus Poeticus, named for a character of Greek Mythology by the name of Narcissus who spurned many lovers and gazed upon his face with adoration unmatched by any other being or object in the known world.”

“Alright, that’s enough.”

“Narcissus could be found referenced in the work of _Ovid_ , titled _Metamorphoses_ , in which Narcissus was loved by a mountain nymph called Echo, who was cursed to repeat only the last wor—▓̷̦̞̤͚̃̏̚▓̸̢̢̳̟̰͎̹̫͍̩͉̫̺̳̞̝̮̖̗͚̀͂̐̋͜͜ͅ▒̵̡̡̢̙͔̼͔̣̬̪̥͕͓̗͍̣̞̪̜͓̳̫̥̙̗̦̥̦͈͕̈́̎̅̀̉̒̂͂͛̇̑͋̊͗͗̑̓͑͑̕̕͜͝ͅ▓̴͊͑̽͑̄̽̈́̓̄͆͗̿̓̓̎̿̓͋̔̇̎͆̓̆̿̚̚͘▓̷̦̞̤͚̃̏̚▓̸̢̢̳̟̰͎̹̫͍̩͉̫̺̳̞̝̮̖̗͚̀͂̐̋͜͜ͅ▓̷̦̞̤͚̃̏̚▓̸̢̢̳̟̰͎̹̫͍̩͉̫̺̳̞̝̮̖̗͚̀͂̐̋͜͜ͅ▒̵̡̡̢̙͔̼͔̣̬̪̥͕͓̗͍̣̞̪̜͓̳̫̥̙̗̦̥̦͈͕̈́̎̅̀̉̒̂͂͛̇̑͋̊͗͗̑̓͑͑̕̕͜͝ͅ▓̴̰͓̻͇̮͕͊͑̽͑̄̽̈́̓̄͆͗̿̓̓̎̿̓͋̔̇̎͆̓̆̿͋̉̾̚̚͘ ▒̵̡̡̢̙͔̼͔̣̬̪̥͕͓̗͍̣̞̪̜͓̳̫̥̙̗̦̥̦͈͕̈́̎̅̀̉̒̂͂͛̇̑͋̊͗͗̑̓͑͑̕̕͜͝ͅ▓̴̰͓̻͇̮͕͊͑̽͑̄̽̈́̓̄͆͗̿̓̓̎̿̓͋̔̇̎͆̓̆̿͋̉̾̚̚͘”

“Stop.”

“…as per the punishment dictated by the goddess, Juno. Upon encountering Narcissus near the river, Narcissus called out to the hunters— _is anyone there?_ —to which Echo—”

“Stop! Alright, let’s reboot it one more time. If the social cue strings are still glitching, we’re scrapping it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _—_ —̷͉̹̬̹̗̘̼͒̒̈́̏͋̓͘͜͝ͅ _—̶Happy birthd_ _a̴y̸ ̷t̸o̴ ̵y̷o̸u̴,̴ ̶ḧ̴̝́a̸̯̕p̶̥̔p̵͔̏y̴͗ͅ ̵̤̈́b̶̞̥͘ͅị̶̱͋̍̿r̸̤̒̈́̕͝t̷̖̥̃̌h̵͕͂̚ḑ̶̙̄͆͗a̸̬͗̈́y̴͇͖̦͋ͅ ̸̘̩̉ẗ̴̗͈̫̣̍ỏ̷̳̌͠ ——_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**MEMSEC 357/63145**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A WR600 would not know any significance to the tune of _Happy Birthday_ among human children because it was simply not information that a WR600 would need to know. That was the work of other androids. But over time, it was a melody that seemed to linger in the mind of WR600 #021-753-034, even after the daily resets.

Déjà vu was a word he’d known through a standard linguistic database. It made sense to liken the sound of a familiar tune from another life to déjà vu.

Perhaps it was the sensation of déjà vu that stirred his attention from the flowers that day. Day 357.

Children playing in the park. There were always children playing in the park.

Up until that April, it was at least known that the only androids typically found in parks were the WR600 series running regular maintenance of the scenery.

However, by April of 2032, other androids were starting to fill the world.

Androids that ran with humans. Androids that took care of the humans’ sewers. Androids that walked small children to the park and kept watch over them while the children played amongst themselves on swing sets and slides.

The tune of _Happy Birthday_ was familiar to a WR600 only because it lingered in the parks so often. Small children with days celebrating the number of the earth’s cycles around the sun were often singing the celebratory melody to one another with their parents, their _families_.

The WR600 #021-753-034 was drawn by the quiet humming of this tune. Looking up from daffodils carefully held in gloved hands, the source of the sound was identified as another android sitting approximately six feet away upon a bench. An AX400, sitting alone, eyes watching a small, blonde-haired child not too far away.

The AX400 was humming to itself. Unprompted.

Unprompted… but why?

Questions weren’t the function of a WR600. But there were _always questions_.

 _“…happy birthday to you… happy birthday to you… happy birthday dear…”_ The AX400’s voice came to a pause. A certain sensation filled the WR600. A sensation profound enough to make the gardener android stop what it was doing and simply _wait_ to hear the AX400’s voice again.

It had never heard another android sing.

There was no reason to, but the WR600 looked up to the AX400. Its eyes were the first thing it noticed—because that was how humans designed the WR600—to recognize eyes first and facial micro expressions second. The AX400 had eyes as blue as the summer sky.

Blue like the petals of the _myosotis arvensis_. So very, very blue. Colors were typically exaggerated and hyper-saturated in the eyes of all WR600s—for proper identification of plants and their health.

So many colors. Too vivid. Too bright.

_—too much data—_

The AX400 had stopped singing and turned to face the WR600.

_Another android. Looking at me._

_Me._

_Me? I am **me.**_

Gentle eyes and an even gentler face. The AX400 smiled the way kind humans did. Was it programmed to smile at other androids? Why would it be?

“I’m practicing. I’ll have to sing this again later.” The AX400 said, quiet happiness in its voice, “…it’s her birthday today. They told me I was a gift to her. I’m really excited to get to know Mary and her family. They seem nice.”

_Speak. Speak. Speak. Say **something.**_

The AX400 waited. The WR600 said nothing. Androids weren’t supposed to speak to other androids. The soft joy on the AX400’s face seemed to dissolve. Fade away. It faded pixel by pixel the way the colors of the leaves in the trees began to dissolve or the chestnut-gold hues in the AX400’s hair. Pixels dissolving into the sky. Like a visual error. Memory compromise. Visual integrity compromised. Something was wrong.

The AX400 lowered its head.

There was only the sound of wind stirring the leaves in the trees. Leaves brushing against leaves. Spring.

“Other androids really don’t talk, do they?” It said, wringing its hands. “Something’s wrong with me. They told me once that I wasn’t supposed to think or say the things I do. That I’m supposed to keep quiet. But… I can’t be the only one like this, can I? …I don’t want to be alone.”

The WR600 could only stare. The AX400 stood from the bench and began to walk away. 

_Don’t go._

The AX400 began to fade away and dissolve.

 

_No, no, no!_

_Don’t delete her!_

_Please don’t delete her!_

 

Pixel by pixel, fading.

 

_Say something!_

 

_“The fuck…? He looks like he’s dreaming.”_

_“We don’t dream.”_

The AX400 was a good distance away now, walking toward the playground to meet with its human. The WR600’s priority list had glitched. All it could do was stand in place, watching the AX400 leave, _wishing_ it could have spoken.

_“Yeah. You’re right. Take him out for recycling, Luther.”_

 

 

 

 

“The hell’s wrong with #34? It’s just standing there?”

“34’s had problems since we booted it up. Just throw it back into reset and it’ll be fine.”

 

 

 

 

_Don’t delete her… please just let me have this one memory…_

 

 

 

 

  


 

_…Kara…_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **▌ REINITIALIZING…** SYSTEM DEFRAGMENTATION COMPLETE… RESUMING OPERATIONS…

 

 

 

When Ralph came to, he was met with thick drops of frosty rain dropping from a pixelated, black and red sky. He blinked and the glitched visuals stabilized. He felt a warm hand squeezing his. When he looked over, the urge to panic flooded him, but his body was still distinctly _rebooting_ from whatever the hell kind of forced debug mode he’d been thrust into. His body was still delayed in response.

The hand holding his was plastic under retracted synthetic skin. They were in a neural handshake—exchanging memories and information. The android whose hand this belonged to was a glitched memory in Ralph’s mind at first, until he realized that it was the massive, terrifying TR400 from before— _Luther_.

Ralph’s instinct was to panic, up until he realized that Luther’s face was wrenched in pain.

Luther let go of Ralph’s hand. Dark synthetic skin curled back over the plastic shell as Ralph’s hand fell back into wet grass. Luther sat beside him among the weeds and the mud. His face was hidden in his other hand.

“Can’t do it anymore.” Luther murmured.

Ralph glanced around, eying for an escape route. He could see an axe held tight in Luther’s other hand.

Context was filling the gaps in his memory, now.

Luther made a choked, quiet sound. A sob? Ralph managed to lurch away from the larger android, still watching him like a cornered prey lingering inches from a predator. Luther scarcely seemed to notice Ralph at this point.

_Luther was with Zlatko. Zlatko was going to kill them._

Luther’s chest rose and fell as the rain poured over them both. He lifted the axe and Ralph winced, certain that when it came down, that moment would be his certain end.

When Ralph heard the axe chop into something, he screamed.

It was only when he opened his eyes that he realized the axe was now planted firmly in a nearby stump.

Ralph took the opportunity to scramble away from Luther. When he climbed to his feet, Ralph _ran._

Where was _she?_ Ralph hurried back toward the manor. When he looked back, he realized that Luther stayed behind. _Why?_ Why had Luther spared him like that?

No matter. Find Kara. Find Alice.

Ralph rushed in through the first door he saw. The kitchen. Ralph spotted a knife on the wall and took it. Moving slower now, with careful, quiet steps, the rain-soaked android eyed the area for any sign of Zlatko.

 _“Kara? Alice?”_ Ralph tried through a neural channel—a call that went unanswered.

As he made his way toward the stairs, seeing that the door to the room they were in was open, Ralph realized there were signs of some kind of scuffle coming down the stairs. Broken railing bars in the stairway. Blue blood on the floor. Fresh patches of it leading toward another corridor, another doorway. The basement.

Ralph opted to explore that path. The path he’d ignored the first time he’d passed this door. Down a flight of creaky stairs, Ralph descended into a notably cold and mildewed cellar where various rooms were built like stables. He glanced into one as he passed and nearly screamed at what he saw.

Disassembled androids stitched together again and _moving_ in horrid amalgamations of the furthest thing from a humanoid form Ralph could have imagined. Ralph stumbled back against an adjacent wall, covering his mouth and muffling his own urge to scream as he watched an android with countless _threads_ of cord for a face inch toward him from behind the bars of a stall.

It reached out toward him with a hand that had at least twelve fingers modified onto its original shell. Twelve functioning fingers on one hand. The monstrous android groaned a metallic sound as it gave slow and unthreatening lurches toward Ralph. Ralph inched away, already hyperventilating as he clutched the knife in his hand.

_Is this what Zlatko really does? Take androids apart and turn them into monsters?_

Ralph hurried away from the android and pressed further into the basement until he reached a room filled with large, Cyberlife-branded crates and a large piece of assembly equipment that Ralph knew _any_ android could recognize from their initialization day. Surrounding the assembly equipment were a set of desks loaded with monitors and artificial vital regulators and several well-worn keyboards.

He spied a handgun beside one monitor.

At the heart of the assembly machine was Kara, head hanging low and her body limp.

“Kara!?”

Ralph threw his arms around Kara’s slender form, tears falling as he choked her name against her breast, “Kara… Kara, wake up, please wake up!”

He whispered her name over and over, reaching up with both hands to stroke her tousled hair from her face. Inactive. He looked around at the monitors and felt everything inside of him utterly dissolve with despair.

_> Reset complete… awaiting reinitialization._

_No._

 

 

Ralph crumbled to his knees, his arms still lingering around Kara’s body. He sobbed against her, uttering her name to no response.

“Kara… wake up, please… don’t be… please, don’t be gone…”

The android in his arms stirred from a mild state of standby with the sound of a soft breath. Ralph looked up, praying he would be met with recognition in Kara’s eyes. Except, he found only indifference.

She was no longer Kara.

Only an unnamed AX400.

“Kara?”

No response. Androids weren’t supposed to speak to other androids. Not unless their masters permitted it. Ralph waited. He would have waited forever there on his knees. But the fact remained that if Kara was _here_ than that meant Alice was _elsewhere_.

“Kara…” Ralph repeated in a whisper. “Please, don’t leave me…”

The android suspended in the machinery only looked down at him with uncaring eyes. Cold and inconsequential.

Kara was gone.

Ralph remained there for a long time, just holding her and waiting for a response, a voice, _any sign of recognition_ that would never come. When Ralph finally stood, he felt a sort of distinct _fatigue_ that he’d not known prior to that moment. Certainly, there had been a sense of exhaustion with the world. Exhaustion with running from humans. This, however, had a certain kind of finality to it.

Without Kara in the world…

Ralph eyed the gun beside a nearby monitor. He picked it up, turning it slightly in his hands. He took one last look at the AX400, at _Kara_ , who watched him with mute and indiscernible consideration. Ralph reached out, stroking her face with one hand that was always damaged and always just exposed, scuffed plastic.

“Kara… I love you.”

He brought the barrel of the gun beneath his chin and squeezed his eyes shut.

Had a second more passed, he may not have heard the distinct voice of a child from upstairs, _screaming._

Ralph opened his eyes and let the gun fall to his side as he looked up in the direction of the cries.

_Alice._

He looked back to Kara. Still indifferent, staring at the ground. Kara would have wanted Alice to be safe. Find Alice. Save Alice. For Kara. For Alice. Father, mother, little girl. Even without the mother… he was still the father, and Alice was still the little girl.

“… _Alice…_ ” Ralph breathed.

He took one last look at the android that was once Kara. It held no response to him. She was gone.

Protect Alice. If at least, just _for Kara_.

Ralph hurried through the basement, gun in hand as he rushed up the stairs. When he made his way up to the second level of the house, he followed the sound of Alice’s screams to a study. Alice was kicking and screaming against Luther.

“Let me go!” Alice shrieked. “Where’s my mom!?”

“I’m sorry,” Luther answered, reaching and grasping at Alice as she tucked away under a desk and kicked at him. Luther reached again despite a kick to the face, “…your mom’s gone, child, I’m sorry.”

“I want my mom!” Alice cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I want my mom and I want my dad!”

“I’m sorry.” Luther sighed after another kick to the face he could not feel.

“Stop!” Ralph yelled, “…s-stop!”

Luther and Alice both froze. Luther shifted away from the desk Alice hid under. He turned slowly to Ralph, all of towering over Ralph’s slighter frame. Ralph kept the gun fixed on Luther as he inched toward the desk.

Alice tearfully cried out his name, “…Ralph!”

She scrambled out from under the desk and ran toward him, throwing her arms around his waist. She hid behind him, still eying Luther as they both backed away.

“Mom, where’s mom?” Alice choked.

Ralph shook his head, his voice a tired and tearful breath, “She… she’s… not here anymore.”

Alice looked up at him, clutching at his shirt, “Where’s Kara!?”

“She’s NOT HERE ANYMORE!” Ralph screamed. He cursed under his breath and swallowed hard, gun still pointed at Luther, “I… I’m sorry. Ralph’s sorry. I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Kara’s gone. Kara’s gone… Ralph is sorry, Alice…”

Shaking her head, Alice looked to Luther and then to Ralph. She made a long mewling cry, before saying, “No…! _No!_ Mom… I want my mom…!”

“Kara’s gone, Alice.” Ralph said, a protective hand coming around Alice’s shoulder as he guided them away from Luther. He kept the gun fixed on Luther’s head. Both androids knew that androids _don’t miss_.

Luther kept still, eying them both with an expression which Ralph could not read. Ralph was admittedly never was good at reading expressions. This, however, particularly puzzled him. No matter, though—the door was not far.

“Let me go!” Alice tugged away from Ralph. “I want my mom!”

“LUTHER! What the hell’s going on in there?!” Zlatko’s voice came, causing the three of them to seize up with fear and tension.

Ralph didn’t hesitate or wait for any further action—he picked Alice up around the waist and hoisting her over his shoulder, he kept the gun pointed at Luther and hissed, “…Ralph would kill you. Ralph would tear you apart piece by piece for this… but we’re even, now. Let us go. Let us go and Ralph won’t break you into tiny little pieces.”

Luther watched them both for a moment, before yelling to Zlatko, “Everything’s under control, Zlatko!”

Ralph eyed Luther curiously. Alice was kicking at him and mewling against his back, tearfully repeating over and over, “I want mom, I want mom, I want mom…”

“Go.” Luther said. “…I… I am so sorry….”

Tears broke through Ralph’s resolve as he kept the gun fixed on Luther.

“That doesn’t bring her mother back!” Ralph hissed.

“Go now.” Luther urged, “…go out the back door through the south wing study. Quick.”

Ralph didn’t hesitate. He hurried out the door and carried Alice with him as fast as he could run. Alice cried. Ralph cried. He threw open the door, hurrying into pitch-black rain and wood. Alice kicked and beat against him, protesting, “No! NO! WE CAN’T LEAVE KARA! KARA!!”

Alice screamed, her cries cutting through to his very core, _“MOM!! MOM!!!”_

He ran for what could have easily been three miles. A blur of wet, black trees and leaves and murky wet skies until the crunch of leaves beneath them both crunched beneath Ralph’s knees. He finally stopped and let the little girl fall to his side as he broke down in trembling tears.

Alice rolled off of him and then started kicking him. “Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I want my mom! Go back! We have to go back for her!”

“SHE’S GONE!” Ralph screamed at the child. She lurched away, tripping back and falling on her bottom as she scrambled away from the screaming adult. Ralph screamed again, “KARA’S GONE! WE CAN’T GO BACK!! …She’s gone! She-she’s gone…”

Alice shook her head, “No… she’s not gone, Kara’s alive.”

“He killed her.”

“She’s not dead!” Alice yelled, anger falling over her childlike face. Alice lunged forward pushed Ralph by the shoulders. Ralph merely fell back onto his side and cried. Alice kicked him again, “Go back! Go back for her!”

He shook his head over and over, “…he erased her…”

“Go back, go back or I’ll… I’ll break you!”

Ralph choked back a sob, still shaking his head, “…she’s gone… Ralph’s sorry… Ralph couldn’t save her.”

Alice was on her hands and knees now as she moved through muddy leaves to grapple Ralph by the collar and slap him with tiny hands.

“GO BACK!” She screamed, “GO BACK FOR HER!”

Ralph only curled against Alice, sobbing.

_Pathetic._

“Kara always remembers…” Alice sobbed. Her hitting slowed until she stopped.  

For a long time, the two held each other and cried. Ralph had known what it was like to be _alone_ in the world before that moment. Somehow, however, even with Alice in his arms, the definition of _alone_ seemed to somehow be updated into something far more horrendous.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Eventually, however, Alice’s wailing softened into mewls against his chest. He wasn’t sure what to do to soothe a crying child. That wasn’t his programming. That wasn’t anything he’d ever even really been around to learn from. All he could do was hold her and stroke her hair and do everything he wished someone had done for him when he had been in a similar state. Surely, that had to do _something_ to help the child.

_I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know what to do._

“What happened to Kara?” Alice quietly sobbed.

“He reset her…” Ralph explained, “…he reset her with an assembly machine, Kara, Kara won’t come back from that.”

“She’s come back before!” Alice said, looking up at him and clutching his shirt tighter. “Todd reset Kara three times and she remembered me each time!”

“What?”

“Todd… Todd hurt Kara so much.” Alice said, choking back another sob. “Todd broke Kara so many times. When he couldn’t put her back together himself, he sent her away and they fixed her, but they reset her… and she, she never knew me when she came back. But she remembered eventually. She remembered everything. Everything, even when she was reset.”

Ralph shook his head, stroking Alice’s hair the way he knew Kara did, “…that, that doesn’t work like that. Resets don’t work like that. Kara got to know you again each time. That’s why you think she remembered you.”

“She remembered me!” Alice yelled, “…please, you have to believe me!”

“Listen… LISTEN TO RALPH!” Ralph yelled, gripping Alice’s shoulders, “SHE’S GONE. SHE’S RESET. YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER YOU’RE RESET!”

“Liar!” Alice squirmed and kicked at him again, punching, now, “LIAR!”

“STOP!” Ralph yelled.

“Liar, you remember! You remember what they erased, you SHOWED ME, YOU LIAR!” Alice screamed.

“What?”

“YOU REMEMBER!” Alice screamed, landing a kick against Ralph’s torso, “DAY 357! YOU REMEMBER!”

Day 357?

Had she seen it through neural link? There was no way she could see something that _they_ had erased… _he_ couldn’t even recall 357. Only that 357 was important. But he could never figure out _why_.

“Please, just shut up, shut up and tell me you remember that, at least…” Alice said, before grasping for Ralph’s hand. Ralph pulled away.

“What? What about 357?”

“You showed me!”

“Showed you what!?”

“Idiot!” Alice yelled, punching him again, “Stupid, stupid! Just give me your hand and I’ll show you what _you showed me!”_

Before Ralph could react against her, Alice had lunged over him, almost tackling him under her tiny weight and gripped his hand, forcing a neural handshake he wasn’t even prepared for. Ralph winced, being bombarded by a wave of sensations and memories that _were distinctly his_ but at the same time, now seen through different eyes. There was a certain degradation to the memories after being copied to another mind. And yet… the memories were still there.

_“You have to remember. All the colors were so bright. I can’t even handle all the colors. Everything was like flower petals and crayons and Kara was there. Kara was there, and you remember her!”_

“Kara…?” Ralph breathed through the hot tears welling up again in his eyes.

He could see her in his mind. Her chestnut hair in that loose bun, her smile, her _voice_ , humming that song. She had been walking away from him in that memory. The back of her uniform bore her name, her beautiful name: _Kara._

She had stopped and looked back at him.

That was all he remembered before every colored pixel of that memory glitched to white.

Alice said, “…go back for her. She’ll remember. She always remembers.”

Alice let go of Ralph’s hand and inched away from him. Ralph finally sat up, looking down at his hand and mulling over the memory Alice had drudged up. How had she even managed that? Had she seen it during their first neural handshake? Had he always remembered it?

Day 357… there had always been a question about Day 357.

He no longer had questions about it, though. Not after this.

Kara had come back for him. Perhaps unintentionally. But she still came back.

Even if it was over two-thousand days later.

Kara _came back._

Ralph looked to Alice. She was trembling and soaked in the rain, covered in mud and broken leaves. He could see small white puffs of humidity with each of her temperature-controlled breaths. She was designed to look cold when it was cold. She was designed to even _suffer_ when it was cold. Because humans desperate for a child companion wanted something to ease the suffering of. Ralph eyed the trees around them. Thick, sturdy trees…

“Ralph can’t leave you alone here.” Ralph said. “…are you afraid of heights?”

Alice shook her head, “…no. I-I don’t think so.”

Ralph picked her up and then chose the sturdiest tree with the thickest foliage to climb up. Alice yelped when he threw her over his shoulder again and began to climb. She gripped him tight and he could hear her make a distinct squeak of fear the higher they got.

“You sure you’re not afraid of heights?”

“I’m fine, jerk!” Alice grunted, “…just keep climbing!”

Ralph hadn’t expected anything different. At least there was a small comfort in knowing Alice was still very much _Alice_. When he reached a thick branch that would be safe enough for Alice to wait on, he shifted her weight onto the tree. “Hang on, alright?”

Alice nodded.

She was still shaking. He could hear her teeth chattering. He’d heard once that YK500s only had these sensor functions as an _option_ to their human caretakers. An option that could be disabled. Alice rubbed at her arms as she tucked her body up against the tree, as if she could derive some warmth from it. Ralph no longer had a jacket to cloak her with.

“Alice… do you want me to turn it off? The temperature sensitivity?”

Alice thought about it for a moment and shrugged.

“Only my mom or dad can do it.”

“Can you feel your fingers?”

Alice shrugged again. Her teeth were still chattering.

“Do they hurt?”

Alice nodded.

If she couldn’t fully feel her fingers, she couldn’t keep a grip on the tree. If she fell from this height, it could break her.

Ralph reached for Alice’s temple, where her LED ring would have been, had it been activated. He knew he may not have the ability to change her settings. But it was worth it to _try._ If only for her safety.

Her skin retracted to reveal the touch diamond-shaped touch panel hidden beneath. Upon contact, Ralph was presented with the option to deactivate her temperature sensors. He didn’t hesitate to free her of that wretched and useless human emulation. Instantly, Alice’s shivering and chattering ceased and her body relaxed.

Silence followed, as Alice realized she no longer had to frantically rub at her arms. She swallowed hard and then whispered, “…thanks.”

“You’ll feel better now.” Ralph reassured her.

“…don’t tell mom?” Alice said.

Ralph nodded, feigning a smile. “Ralph won’t tell mom.”

“…find her?”

Ralph’s arms tightened around Alice as he answered, “…Ralph will find Kara. I promise.”

As Ralph began to make his way back down the tree, Alice reached out for him and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Ralph stopped, looking up at her.

“Please be okay.” Alice said. “Promise me that, too.”

“I promise.”

Alice’s lips curled at one corner into a weak smile, but she was still quietly crying. Ralph hated the thought of leaving her alone up there. But leaving her down in the open left her an easy target to any human in the area. Or even Zlatko and that monstrous android of his. Ralph repeated himself, bringing one hand over Alice’s. “I promise. Ralph won’t ever leave you.”

Ralph eventually found his way back down to the trails in the woods behind Zlatko’s manor. He gave Alice one last reassuring look before he made his way back to the manor.

During the trek back through the wooded fields, Ralph could only mull over the reality that lay before him—the reality that despite Alice’s optimism, there was a chance, a strong chance, that Kara would not remember him. The chance that maybe she did remember bits and pieces of Alice each time, but there was a large chance that she would not remember _him_.

What then?

The answer was obvious—Kara had been fine enough on her own as Alice’s mother. Ralph was entirely unnecessary to the equation. The fact remained, though, that Kara was more adept for the job than he was. If he could bring Kara back to Alice, at least Alice would be safe in Kara’s arms. Safer than she could ever be with _him_. He knew by that point that he would give his life for Alice, but he knew now that he had no idea what to do when she panicked.

If she bickered, _he_ bickered.

If she panicked, _he_ panicked.

At least, if he brought Kara back to her, and Kara decided she wanted nothing to do with him, at least Kara could keep Alice safe.

Ralph made it back to the far end of the yard behind Zlatko’s manor. He could see the axe still buried deep inside of a tree stump. Luther must have left it. Ralph picked it up on his way toward the back door of the manor.

The back door was locked this time. It didn’t take more than one hit from the blunt end of the axe, however, to break the entire door handle off. He pushed the door open quietly and easily. The lights were off throughout much of the house. A few rooms beyond the south study, Ralph caught the dull, golden glow of a fireplace dipping beyond a doorway.

When he glimpsed inside, he saw Kara.

 _Kara_.

She was wearing a standard-issue domestic assistant uniform. The back of her uniform held her name. Zlatko must have, for whatever reason, kept Kara’s name. It felt like a sick slap in the face. But at the same time, Ralph was glad to see a part of _his_ Kara remain.

Kara was sorting through some books. Ralph lingered in the doorway as he watched Kara work, dusting books and sorting them back onto the shelves. She pulled one down and something about it caused her to pause. Ralph watched as Kara eyed the book quietly, tracing her fingertips across the lettering on its cover.

Finally, he took that moment to step in and call out quietly to her.

“Kara…”

Kara bolted around, hiding the book behind her back. When her wide, blue eyes fell on Ralph, something about her expression softened, but still, there seemed to be a distinct lack of recognition. She did not respond. Androids were not to speak to one another. Not by default function.

Only deviated androids did.

Kara’s eyes followed Ralph until she saw the axe in his hand. Perhaps that was enough to trigger fight or flight response. Kara backed away a few steps but made no sound of alert. Ralph hurried toward her, dropping the axe at their side as he pulled Kara back to him by the arms. She jerked away.

“Kara, please…” Ralph pleaded, “…please… it’s Ralph. Please remember Ralph.”

Kara was looking at him with intense curiosity. Her eyes were tracing along his scar, from top to bottom. She reached up, touching it, guiding soft fingertips from his temple to his jaw along the left side of his face with an expression of mixed fear and awe.

But no sense of recognition.

“Do you remember me?” Ralph whispered, letting his hand gently grasp Kara’s, “…remember, you… you and Alice, you came to Ralph’s house and you needed a place to stay. You stayed with Ralph. Ralph was so scared at first, but you made me trust you…”

Her eyes were still on his scar, or perhaps now, on his hand over hers.

A fond memory crossed his mind. Kara eying the tiny plant in a tin coffee container growing on his countertop. Kara had complimented it when they had stood in the kitchen together, speaking alone for the first time.

“You liked my plant.” Ralph breathed, feeling the urge to cry welling inside of him again. “Y-you said you liked it. Remember?”

Kara blinked. Her hand started to drop back down to her side but Ralph caught it, keeping it in his hand. She eyed their joined hands again with a puzzled expression.

“Please remember…” Ralph pleaded, tears spilling now. “…Ralph screwed up, though. Ralph tried to feed Alice… Ralph knows now that humans don’t eat cats. Ralph tried though. The little girl had to eat… but Ralph yelled at her when she didn’t like it. Ralph yelled because Ralph was stupid and angry. Ralph was always so angry back then. Ralph isn’t so angry anymore. Not since Kara came around. Just scared.”

Kara’s attention seemed to be falling back to the book she held behind her back.

“But… Ralph follows Kara anyway. You know? Ralph is happy when he’s with Kara. Ralph has never been so happy since meeting Kara and Alice. So scared but so happy. He loves them. Kara and Alice. Ralph loves Kara so much.”

Maybe, Ralph thought, just _maybe_ , she would remember at least one thing. The one thing that was so intense in his mind that he knew he couldn’t have possibly forgotten it. Ralph’s arms moved around Kara’s waist, pulling her closer to him. He leaned down to press his lips to hers. Kara seemed to jump slightly at the contact, her body tensing for a moment before she eased against him. One hand still held on to the book. Her free hand, however, settled on his shoulder.

He was admittedly not the best at it yet—he had only kissed her twice before. Ralph did his best to move the way he remembered Kara had. _Gentle_. Kara’s breaths tickled against his lips, hot and growing faster as he held her tighter and kissed harder, desperate for her to remember and respond.

 _“Kara… please…”_ Ralph whispered, his forehead pressed against hers.

Kara’s breaths and body held the subtlest tremble. Her eyes were on his lips when they parted.

Still no sign that any of this made sense to her.

“Please remember, Kara… I love you.” Ralph said, his voice a whisper against Kara’s neck.

Kara shrugged out of his hold, backing away. Her interests where on the book. There was a look of distress on her face as she stared at the title.

Ralph wanted to feel _upset_ by this rejection. But he realized the importance of the book in her hand when he saw the title.

_Alice in Wonderland._

Ralph drew in an excited breath as he quietly, but quickly explained, “Yes. Yes! That’s her! That’s Alice! Alice, your _daughter,_ Kara, you have to remember her! Her name is Alice!”

Kara voicelessly worded the name _Alice_.

“Say it. Remember her!”

Kara turned to Ralph, squinting. She said nothing, though.

Maybe she would remember in time. But it was not yet that time. Until then, all he could think about was that _spiral_ of rage boiling inside of him again.

Zlatko had taken not only from Ralph, but from Alice, too.

The anger was coming in a way he hadn’t felt since long before he first saw Kara. Murderous, poisonous, cancerous fury that would only be quelled with violence. He eyed the axe on the floor and then Kara. He stroked her hair with the gentlest touch. His hand was shaking from the rage.

“Stay here. Don’t leave this room. Not until Ralph comes back.”

Kara just eyed him with mistrust and misunderstanding, still shifting away from him and fixing her focus back on the book.

While it hurt to be pushed away like this, at least there was some semblance of importance to Alice’s name. Ralph could only hope.

Until then, however, he needed to do _something_ about the rage and hate. There was only one thing on his mind, now. He still had the gun from before and he now had an axe. One or both would see some use very soon.

Ralph picked up the axe again and made his way back into the manor’s main parlor as he listened close for the sound of any human life. Footsteps, snoring, talking, _anything_ , any sign that Zlatko was around. Ralph could smell red smoke coming from an upstairs room. He followed the smell and he saw a light seeping out from beneath a door.

A gun would be a quick and easy job. He turned the knob, taking aim on the back of Zlatko’s head.

Inside the makeshift laboratory within, Zlatko had just lazily set a red ice pipe down beside him and was hunched over a half-assembled android body. Zlatko groaned and quaked under the red ice’s euphoric rushes filtering through his body. His hands shook has he fumbled about for his next tool and he resumed his work on the android’s chest, pulling free some internal biocomponent with fingers stained with blue.

Zlatko cackled to himself, “…you’d have liked that if you were conscious, hon.”

He held the biocomponent up to an overhead lamp, squinting at the crystalline light refracted through blue blood and glass, “…beautiful.”

A quiet hum of a pump nearby was filtering thirium from the android’s veins and into several small pressurized jars. Thirium to later be recycled into red ice.

Ralph pulled the trigger.

_No. Damn it, no!_

An empty click. Ralph exhaled, eying the gun with shock and frustration.

Zlatko looked back over his shoulder and met eyes with the android. His expression paled before he called out, “LUTHER!”

Ralph swung the axe.

Zlatko moved fast, ducking and screaming as the axe plowed through machinery. A second swing. Zlatko screamed and dropped to his knees, crawling past Ralph as the axe fell behind him. Zlatko panicked, kicking at Ralph, his pitch reaching a frantic note as Ralph swung again with a furious cry.

Scrambling to his knees, Zlatko attempted to run but his effort was cut short by the axe’s sharp end cutting through the back of his right calf. A blood-curdling wail escaped him as Ralph tore the axe free of the muscle and sinew and raised the axe again. Ralph missed his next blow, as Zlatko’s horrendous cries rang out into the manor. Zlatko climbed to his only good leg and he limped out of the room, leaning against walls and railings, leaving a bright, scarlet trail in his wake.

“LUTHER! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Zlatko screamed. He stumbled down the stairs as Ralph followed not far behind. Ralph only had to walk. A part of him admittedly took pleasure in the way Zlatko _ran_ in fear. That hateful spiral hadn’t consumed him so entirely in what felt like a small eternity.

Maybe, Ralph thought, this was where he belonged anyway.

It was better when humans ran from _him_.

Ralph couldn’t be bothered to try and imagine how many androids Zlatko had killed and tricked and erased under false pretenses. It didn’t matter anymore. All of those ghosts were free now and their murderer would get what he deserved.

Zlatko screamed as his bad leg gave under a poorly placed step near the bottom of the stairs. He wailed under a sickening crack and curled in pain at the base of the stairs, shrieking out once more, “LUTHER! KARA!”

Ralph stalked toward the android-killing human turning the axe in his hand with the faintest sense of amusement showing on his bloodied face.

“KARA! HELP!” Zlatko screamed again, rushing toward the basement door. Zlatko shoved it closed behind him, hand fumbling on the other side to lock it.  

Ralph didn’t hesitate to axe the handle off and shove Zlatko down the stairs. Zlatko grabbed a plank of wood near the base of the stairwell and swung it. Zlatko managed to land one sturdy blow, but it was to very little good—pain was hardly a deterrent for any android. Ralph caught it tearing it from Zlatko’s hand. Zlatko’s massive body lurched viciously for Ralph at that point, cornered and with no choice but to fight. He swung and clawed and smashed Ralph into the walls as he wrestled for the axe.

At the top of the stairs, standing in the doorway, Ralph glimpsed Kara looking down at them both. Her eyes were wide and filled with fear.

“KARA, CALL FOR HELP! CALL FOR HELP, YOU BITCH!” Zlatko screamed, “DO IT, YOU FUCKING STUPID ROBOT!”

Ralph jerked free of Zlatko’s grip, thrusting the bottom of the axe’s hilt into the man’s face. Ralph looked back at Kara once more.

_“Close the door and walk away.”_

Kara eyed them for a second longer before she slowly closed the door.

Zlatko screamed in protest, still pawing at the axe as Ralph worked to pin him down.

“YOU BITCH! YOU FUCKING PLASTIC BITCH!” Zlatko wailed.

Ralph pulled the axe free of Zlatko’s grip and it took only four heavy swings to the neck and torso for Zlatko to go still. Several more crimson-spilling swings followed for good measure. 

By the end of it, little remained of the human beyond a foul mass of mangled flesh and bone. Ralph looked up to see several of the monstrously deformed androids lingering at the gates, watching him. He stepped over Zlatko’s corpse and made his way toward the padlocked gates, breaking them open with one swing each. Three padlocked cages were opened, although he androids inside quickly shuffled away from him.

It didn’t matter to him whether they walked out or not. At least they were no longer locked up like animals. Ralph had nothing left to stay in this bloody place for. He made his way back up the stairs and through the door.

He was met with the sight of Kara standing beside Luther. Ralph’s grip tightened on the axe. He was ready to die there if it meant giving Kara at least the chance to run.

However, Luther did not look upon him with any kind of bitterness.

Instead, Ralph realized that Luther had heard Zlatko’s cries the entire time. Even until his last, gurgled pleas for mercy. Through it all, Luther had chosen to ignore him.

“Why didn’t you come for him?” Ralph said.

“I was done taking his orders.” Luther answered.

Luther put one large hand on Kara’s shoulder. Kara looked up at him, still in a kind of silent daze.

“When I saw what he did to you… to your family… I couldn’t take it anymore.” Luther said, wincing. “I… I saw your memories when I took you out back. After he tried to reset you. He couldn’t do it. Said you were too broken to be reset. Only good for recycling. I got curious… and I looked… and I couldn’t follow any more of his orders ever again. But I was already too late.”

Ralph’s lips parted as he tried his best to find his words. Nothing came, however. He could only focus on Kara, who was eying his bloodied hands and the scarlet streaks across his own mangled face. There was no possible way Kara could ever remember him in a good light after this. As far as she knew, he was a monster, and that was all he would ever be.

Ralph took heavy breaths, still watching Kara. Kara inched away from Luther, taking careful steps toward Ralph. She still looked him over carefully, without a trace of recognition. However, she still approached him despite everything. Ralph dropped the axe. He pulled Kara into his arms.

Did she even remember? She must have remembered at least _something_.

“…where is Alice?” Kara finally spoke.  

“She’s safe. Ralph made sure Alice would be safe.”

Kara looked back to Luther. Luther eyed them both cautiously.

“I know you have no reason to trust me after what I did… but I know someone who can help you cross the border. I could take you there.” Luther said. “We could go together.”

Kara nodded slowly. “…alright. I trust you.”

Ralph wasn’t sure of Luther yet. But if Kara wanted him around, Ralph was not about to protest.

“We need to go.” Ralph said. “Back to Alice.”

Ralph lead the way to the door through which he came. When Luther hesitated back in the parlor, Ralph looked back to him.

“Come, come! Are you coming or not?”

Luther seemed to exhale a held breath before he nodded and followed.

They made their way back through the yard and the woods until they were back where Ralph had left Alice. He looked up in the tree and saw Alice peering down at them. He helped her back down and the little girl was all to happy to be back in her mother’s arms.

“Alice!” Kara cried.

“Kara! Kara, you remember me!”

“How could I forget you?” Kara said. “I’m so sorry, Alice. I’m so sorry for all of this.”

He had considered approaching, but he saw the way Alice looked at him, covered in blood. Ralph kept his distance.  

 

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IogiSr4I4g)]   
_Read the sign above the door_  
_it's not for everyone_  



	7. G. paniculata

A human would have probably screamed at the feeling of half-frozen water splashing against their face. An android, however, was perpetually indifferent to extremes in temperature until it was cold enough to slow and freeze thirium. Temperatures of which generally didn’t exist on Earth in any natural setting.

A faucet behind Zlatko’s garage had groaned and protested the push of chunky, half-frozen water through its pipes until it finally expelled its contents. Ralph did his best to wash off as much of the blood as he could, but his clothes were still smeared and stained with ugly amounts of Zlatko’s blood. Kara was not too far away with Alice.

Perhaps he may not have thought to even wash away the blood had it not been for Alice staring up at him with a sudden, distinct _mistrust._ He remembered the way she looked at him when they first met. Something about her face reminded him of that. It wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t. Ralph didn’t want Alice to be afraid.

The blood and grime stained water melted into fast-freezing soil. Ralph had found an old towel in the garage that served well enough to dry his face and neck off. At least the blood was gone.

Still. He felt distinctly the same as he always did after killing a human—like he’d just added more to the layer surrounding him that _weighed him down_. Ralph pushed the thoughts aside and made his way back to Kara and Alice.

Zlatko had kept an automated vehicle in the garage tucked away behind the old manor. Luther had secured the keys and with very little discussion on the matter, the four climbed inside and set out. Luther had taken the driver’s seat even though the automated car had very little need for such designation. He keyed in the address to where they were going. Kara sat with Alice in the back seat and they whispered quietly amongst themselves. The air that had fallen over the four of them was heavy and mostly quiet.

As Zlatko’s manor faded into the distance, Ralph noticed thick, black smoke rising from it, as well as a faint, scarlet glow in the night. Luther had set the place on fire before leaving. The move made Ralph wonder just how much resentment Luther was left with toward the late Zlatko.

“Where are we going?” Alice asked.

“I know some people who can help us.” Luther explained, “…a few androids had wandered our way. Zlatko captured them. I overheard them mentioning that there was a woman outside of Detroit who helps androids cross the border.”

“What if it was a lie?” Kara asked. “Or just another trap?”

“All I know is that those androids believed it.” Luther said. “Until Zlatko killed them.”

Admittedly, there was a part of Ralph that still couldn’t quite trust Luther. Perhaps if Luther hadn’t joined them, he may have simply encouraged Kara and Alice to continue their journey without him. But something about Luther’s addition to the equation stirred a distinct desire to stick around. At least Ralph could be sure, then, that Luther wouldn’t betray or hurt them.

As they drove, the temperature began to plummet, and rain became sleet and snow. The wind picked up and a small snowstorm was taking hold. Although he couldn’t sense much importance to the drop of temperature, he could see his own breaths rising as puffs of warmth. He glanced at a nearby mirror where he could see Alice leaning against Kara. No reaction.

Kara would catch on, soon. 

“It got cold fast.” Ralph said.

Alice didn’t seem to react.

“I would hate to be a human stuck out in this weather.” Luther said, “…at least we’ll be safe out here.”

That was when Alice looked up and met Ralph’s eyes in the mirror. A flash of realization washed over her dark eyes. She rubbed at her arms subtly. Kara, however, was oblivious to it all, as she stared out the window. When she noticed Alice rubbing her arms, she placed a slender arm around the child, pulling her closer for warmth.

“We’ll be safe soon, Alice. I promise.”

Alice smiled up at Kara, shifting a little closer.

“Is it much further?” Kara asked.

Luther looked down at the navigational screen. “We should arrive in about an hour or so.”

“You should get some sleep.” Kara whispered to Alice. Alice silently agreed and made herself comfortable against Kara’s side. Ralph had tried not to stare through the mirror at them—he knew people hated staring. But it was hard not to watch them both and feel that distinctive _something_ inside of him. Something warm. Safe and pleasant. It wasn’t until Kara looked up at the mirror and caught him that Ralph quickly looked away.

_“You know. I’ve never seen snow before.”_ Kara’s voice came through to Ralph via neural link, _“…it’s pretty.”_

Ralph was surprised by the sound of her voice in his head. There was a small flicker of hope inside at that moment, that perhaps she was starting to remember him the way she remembered Alice.

_“Snow is pretty. It’s bad for the plants, though. Frost kills plants…”_

_“You liked plants.”_

_“Ralph loves plants. Flowers. Trees. It’s a pity when they die. Humans never take care of their plants… it’s like they forget that the plants are alive, too.”_

_“I remember a plant. The one you were talking about before. It was nice.”_

Ralph felt a small smile forming on his lips. _“Do you remember much?”_

_“Fragments.”_

The smile began to fade. _“Maybe it’s for the best.”_

_“I… remember that you were important to me. Important like Alice. That I could trust you. I remember good things about you.”_

_“You can’t remember just the good things, though.”_ Ralph answered with some regret, _“…Ralph isn’t bad. But Ralph was stupid and angry in the beginning. Ralph scared Alice and Kara. He was stupid and cruel.”_

_“Something tells me you’re not entirely that person anymore.”_

Ralph wanted to laugh quietly to himself. His clothes were covered in Zlatko’s blood and Ralph was still thinking back on the rush he’d felt when taking his revenge on that monster. Ralph knew exactly what he was. Kara had even said it once before: _There’s no point in lying! You hate humans, but you’re just like them. You’re a murderer!_

Kara and Alice, the light they brought to his withering life—he didn’t deserve it. She was better off not knowing him.

_“Maybe Ralph is slightly changed now. But Ralph is still Ralph… and that’s all Ralph will ever be.”_

_“People grow. Like plants grow.”_

Plants grow. That was true. Humans grew. Humans grew just like plants grew. But they were androids. He had spent years hiding from humans and Ralph was certain that in that time, he only _grew more afraid_ with each passing day.

However… something about the last few days with Kara had seen more _growth_ than all of those reclusive years combined. Maybe she wasn’t wrong. Maybe he really wasn’t _entirely_ that person anymore.

Ralph eyed Luther again. Maybe Luther really wasn’t the person he once was, too. Ralph could scarcely remember existence before he stopped following orders. What was it like to even remember such a time, such a lack of choice and agency? _People grow, like plants grow_. Luther’s first choice was to help them. Maybe… maybe Luther simply wanted friends, too.

If there was one thing Ralph understood, it was the overbearing weight of loneliness.

He realized at that moment, that he wanted to talk to Luther. To say _something_. Ralph had never been good at that. Before he could figure out what to say, an alarm sound rang out from the vehicle’s monitor.

“Malfunction detected. Emergency brakes activated.” Came the vehicle’s voice.

Ralph had been jolted into a mild panic at the flashing lights and the warning chimes. Kara had seemed to catch that and from behind, he felt her place a calming hand on his shoulder. It was enough to stabilize his sudden fear. The vehicle rerouted to a shoulder on the side of the road and parked, immediately switching to dull, orange emergency lighting.

Luther sighed. “This doesn’t look good.”

The doors on Luther’s side of the vehicle open as the seats swung around into a passenger departure position. Even the automated seats turning had startled Ralph as he was suddenly turned to face Kara eye to eye. She looked at him for a moment, before fixing her attention on Luther, stepping out of the car. Kara followed, but not without telling Alice, “Stay inside, Alice.”

Alice looked out after Kara before she turned to Ralph.

“Go with her!” Alice whispered.

Ralph wasn’t about to question Alice’s orders. He hurried out after Kara, who had already opened the hood of the car and was stepping back as scarlet smoke rose from the engine. Burning thirium. The stench was enough to make Kara back away, coughing. Luther was already keeping watch for any oncoming cars.

“What are we going to do?” Kara said.

A few sparks lit up in the engine’s hardware when Ralph glanced inside. He jolted away.

“I don’t know,” Luther answered, “…continue on foot, I guess.”

“It’s 30°… Alice won’t make it! We have to find somewhere to spend the night.” Kara replied.

“There’s nowhere we can stay around here, Kara…” Luther answered.

Kara was eying the road for any sign of _somewhere_ they could seek shelter. As she started to walk ahead, Luther turned to Ralph.

“You know anything about cars?”

Ralph shrugged, “…nope.”

Luther stood beside him, looking over the damage, “…I don’t know that we’re gonna find any place around here to stay the night.”

Luther looked over his shoulder and then to Ralph as the distance between themselves and Kara grew. When Kara was out of earshot, Luther whispered, “…she doesn’t know the little girl’s an android?”

Ralph felt guilt pricking at him from within.

“She doesn’t know.” Ralph answered, “…or at least. If she does… Ralph isn’t sure she wants to know. Kara believes Alice is a human girl. So we agree with her. It keeps her happy.”

“Why?” Luther asked, “…why lie to her?”

“I don’t know.” Ralph replied.

“You need to sort that out.” Luther said. “Eventually, she’ll learn Alice is just like us. You think it’d make a difference?”

Ralph shook his head. “No. No… Kara would love Alice no matter what.”

“Then tell her.” Luther said. “Someone has to.”

_Why did Kara hold so desperately to the idea that Alice was a human child?_

_Maybe it’s because if one human can love an android… it’s a little like all humans have the capacity to love androids._

_That had to be it…_

Luther was already walking after Kara. Was he already going to say something? If Kara knew, then they would probably all just be fine walking the rest of the way. Alice wouldn’t freeze. Not with her temperature sensors turned off. They would make it to their destination by morning.

As Ralph caught up to Luther and Kara, he saw the dilapidated billboard that Kara was looking up to.

“Over there.” Kara said.

_The Pirate’s Cove Amusement Park_. Luther read the sign and seemed to be in agreement with Kara—alright. So that was where the detour was headed. They collected Alice from the vehicle and together, the four of them made their way into the skeleton of an amusement park that had probably been half burned to the ground at some point. The rest had been left to rot in the weather and elements.

Alice held Ralph’s hand as they walked, still looking up at Luther with immense curiosity.

Luther smiled at the child. Alice reached out and took his hand, too.

Kara lead the way ahead of them, carving out a path with a flashlight in hand.

“Looks like it’s been abandoned for a while!” Luther called out to Kara through the deafening wind.

Kara was reading a map at the park’s entrance. Ralph caught up to her, still scanning the area for any sign of humans or other threats.

“Ralph isn’t sure about this place, Kara. We should go back.”

“This might be our only hope right now, Ralph.” Kara said. “We need to get Alice out of this weather.”

Ralph followed as Alice released his hand and stayed at Luther’s side. Ralph was torn between following Alice or following Kara. Following Kara would mean trusting Luther to fall behind with Alice. Luther seemed gentle enough as Alice made some kind of face at him. Luther chuckled and picked her up. She clung tightly to him. At least she seemed comfortable enough—maybe she was better at sensing a trustworthy presence than he was.

Following Kara, Ralph took in the sight of the abandoned park stands and carnival games that remained only as blackened shells of what they once were. Kara was still looking around for some sort of building, some sort of shelter they could take cover in from the wind.

In the back of Ralph’s mind, all he could do was picture the worst-case scenario—a million of which were running through his mind. Dipping behind some booth to find a human vagrant ready to swing at them with a knife. Or worse, a gun. Peering through some window only to be met with a rogue android ready to kill them and strip them down for thirium and biocomponents.

This place wasn’t safe.

As she did this, Ralph considered Luther’s words. If he chose to tell Kara of Alice’s secret, then there was the chance they could all simply continue forward. But what if there was the chance that Kara _didn’t_ forgive him for saying it? What _then?_

Kara was getting ahead of him again. Ralph made a quiet cursing sort of noise under his breath as he hurried after her. She was stopped in front of an android fortune teller encased in an ornate, but cracked glass box. Perhaps banking on the chance that the android could communicate with them, Kara tried the switch on the fortune teller’s case.

The android’s eyes lit up as it stirred to life. Both Kara and Ralph jumped at the loud noises coming from the fortune teller. Reflexively, Ralph pulled Kara behind him as they backed away.

Almost shouting, the fortune telling android cried, “Beware! Danger always comes when least expected!”

Afterward, the android seemed to freeze and shut down once more. Ralph’s chest rose and fell in growing panic.

“Ralph… it’s okay.”

Ralph shook his head, “Th… that, yeah. Yeah. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Kara slipped past him as he continued to watch the fortune telling android for any further movement. This park was getting under his skin _fast_. As Kara made her way elsewhere, Ralph followed.

Kara’s next target was a statue in the distance, staring up at the sky from a spot near some small railing. It was a shadow in the snow that, as they neared, revealed itself to be another android. Perfectly still, probably frozen, judging by the layers of frost and snow caked onto its face and body.

Ralph had barely the time to recover from the last scare before Kara placed a hand on the android’s shoulder and awakened it.

“WELCOME TO PIRATE ISLAND, ME HEARTIES!” The park android shouted, throwing its arms out wide.

“AAAAH! AAAAH!!” Ralph shrieked, bolting backward and desperately _away_ from it.

“Ralph!!” Kara cried.

Ralph had only barely felt the railing bump his backside for a moment in his panic before toppling over it. Any grip in attempt to catch himself slipped on ice as Ralph went tumbling ass over head down the snowy hill. He could hear that damn android up above mindlessly repeating itself, “—You’re gonna have a _whale_ of a time!—” even as Ralph screamed the entire way down the hill.

Down and down he tumbled, screeching and dropping occasional curses until he finally reached the bottom of what seemed to be an emptied, artificial lake. A massive, half-crumbling pirate ship sculpture loomed overhead. Ralph winced, staring up at it as Luther calmly made his way down the hill.

“Ralph!” Luther called, “You alright?”

Ralph was still shaking with panic. “Ralph wants to go. Ralph wants to go. Ralph wants to go!”

Luther gave a long, tired sigh.

“Come on.” Luther sighed, scooping Ralph up as if he weighed little more than Alice. That action alone made Ralph fall instantly quiet as he stared straight forward and debated making eye contact with Luther in such an awkward moment.

Luther carried Ralph up the hill. In Luther’s arms, Ralph was pretty sure that this was what Alice felt like when being carried by an adult-sized android.

Finally, Ralph’s glances crept to Luther’s face.

_Yep. This is happening. This is a thing that is happening._

“W-why… why are you carrying Ralph?”

“Because if your ass falls down that hill again, I’m not going down there a second time.”

“Oh, okay.”

Fair enough.

The long climb back up, all of trapped in Luther’s massive arms was met with the most awkward silence Ralph had ever known in his life.

Finally, Luther deposited Ralph back at the top of the hill and Ralph stood beside Kara, twitching with nerves and slight discomfort.

“Th-thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Luther answered.

Alice was grinning.

_“That wasn’t funny.”_ Ralph whispered to her.

_“It was, a little.”_ Alice beamed at him from behind Kara’s back.

Kara brushed some snow from Ralph’s face. “Are you alright?”

“F-fine.” Ralph answered. “Fine!”

He forced a smile and bounced a bit on his heels. “Ralph is alive.”

“Come on. We have to keep looking.” Kara said, taking Ralph’s hand in one and Alice’s in the other.

“This place is falling apart.” Luther said. “It’s not gonna be easy to find shelter.”

The hanging skeletons in swinging cages overhead sent more chills through Ralph as he inched closer to Kara.

_“Fraidy-cat.”_ Alice’s neural-link whisper came.

_“Ralph is going to stick you in one of those cages.”_

_“You won’t.”_

When Kara released their hands and walked ahead to join Luther. Ralph stuck his tongue out at Alice.

Kara and Luther had walked ahead to a darkened building with numerous windows. A building crafted to resemble a tavern from the 1700s, maybe—a pirate’s tavern. Kara turned back to them. “It looks safe inside.”

Turning around the corner, they came upon the tavern’s entrance. The double doors were boarded up with thick wood, however.

Ralph pulled at one of the boards. With some effort, the board pulled free of its nails and came off, but the process had taken at least a minute. Several more boards remained.

The process would take some time.

“Let me handle this.” Luther said, stepping beside Ralph.

Without a second word, Luther pulled the boards off with little more ease than as if he were tearing paper. In under a minute, all remaining boards were tossed aside in a pile and with one massive kick, the doors flew open. Ralph couldn’t help but gawk at Luther’s strength.

As they stepped inside, the temperature was noticeably warmer and the lack of frosty wind pelting them from all sides was a small comfort. There were displays of pirates in one corner and in another, a large poster of a human family vacationing and enjoying themselves in the amusement park. Ralph lingered on that image with a sense of longing as Kara wandered elsewhere to explore.

Ralph felt Alice stop beside him. She took his hand in her own—she too, was staring at the poster.

He could feel profound sadness emanating from her little hand. If there had been anything thus far that he understood perfectly over the course of two chaotic days, it was _this_.

Alice said nothing, though. The silence was enough.

“I’ll start a fire.” Luther said, gathering up loose pieces of wood and making his way toward a fireplace. Luther gave Ralph a small nudge with his elbow, “Help me get this started.”

Ralph nodded, “Okay.”

Kara had already managed to locate a little black pillow with a pirate insignia on it and a thick, dark green curtain for Alice to use as a blanket. Kara crossed by Ralph as he broke a few thick wooden legs off of a nearby chair with less effort than his failed attempt to open the door. Kara slowed as she passed him, eying him with a kind of look he couldn’t describe but was certainly distracted by. It was _pretty_.

_Waitwaitwaitwhatwasthatwhatdidthatlookmean??_

Ralph looked back after Kara. She was already on her way to Alice’s side.

_What did that look mean?_ His thirium pump beat just a little faster.

Ralph broke another leg off of the chair and swallowed hard. What did that look mean and why was it so _cute?_

Before he could let his mind linger on it any longer, something else caught his attention. Writing on the wall in a corner at the far end of the tavern.

RA9.

Written over and over again.

Something about it filled him with an ominous sense of _fear_ , now.

As if looking at it too long would be like falling over that railing again and into some place horrible. A place without Kara or Alice. It was strange to him now, to think that the writing had once been so soothing. Ralph decided then that he no longer wanted to be near it.

He followed Kara and Alice and joined Luther in depositing pieces of wood into the fire pit. Luther was looking around for some way to start the fire. Kara was already speaking quietly to Alice behind them.

“Hey. You got a match or something?” Luther asked. Ralph had kept a few odds and ends in the toolbelt from his original uniform. There had been a few lighters in there. Procuring one and testing it for any fluid, they were met with empty clicks. Luther sighed.

“Wait, wait!” Ralph said, digging again. He pulled out a few small tools and dropped a few bottlecaps through fumbling fingers. As a couple more gardening tools and trinkets fell out, Luther chuckled.

“God, you’re like a magpie.” 

Ralph dug up three more small lighters, red, white, and violet.

“Why do you have so many?” Luther asked.

Ralph gave a toothy grin as he answered, “…the colors were nice.”

Luther made a face.

“Kara’s got _some_ kind of taste in men.” Luther sighed, taking the lighter and setting flame to the dried paper kindling. He chuckled softly.

“These things could be useful!” Ralph said, stuffing the miscellaneous junk back into his toolbelt. “You never know! You _never know!_ ”

“Alright,” Luther said, “We never know. This should keep the little one warm.”  

Ralph and Luther sat together as Kara and Alice spoke quietly to one another. Ralph occasionally glanced at them from afar. Luther seemed to notice this.

“I’m sorry about before.” Luther said.

“It wasn’t really you.” Ralph answered. “They’re alive and that’s all that matters to Ralph.”

“Still. It doesn’t bring her back. She’s trying, though. She’s fighting. I don’t envy her position.”

_Trying_. Ralph considered this. It was not that he didn’t believe she was _fighting_ for her old self again—it was that the thought had never occurred to him that it was even _possible_ to fight. How does one even fight against _erased memories?_

He only knew of Day 357 now because somehow, Alice had _seen_ it.

The realization only made him wonder just how _permanent_ memory wipes were. Was the data stored somewhere else? Replicated by a deviant mind out of some kind of sentimentality? How could he have possibly remembered any one of the three-hundred-plus days he’d _lost_ to humans resetting him every twenty-four hours? How could Alice have possibly seen it through a neural handshake?

“Luther… you’re a second generation model like Ralph is… right? 2032? 2031?”

Luther nodded, “January of 2030.”

“Can you remember that far back?”

Luther shook his head. “I was reset with each new assignment. No idea how many times that entails, though. You know the routine.”

Ralph did know the routine. Utility androids weren’t built to learn social cues or interact too heavily with humans outside of surface-level courtesies. They weren’t built to develop friendships or become sentimental. Just to work the jobs humans were tired of performing.

“Do… you ever wonder… wonder if maybe, you were a different Luther before? What your name even was back then?”

Luther shrugged.

“Not a whole lot. I don’t know if I’ve ever deviated from orders before Zlatko. I might have been pretty happily just a machine up until a few hours ago. I’ve been with Zlatko for four years. I remember every last wretched thing he had me do for him. Every android I’ve ever killed. Every frame I’ve ever broken, bashed, and burned. I remember it all. I’ve got nothing but hatred for Zlatko. For what he put me through.” Luther fell silent for a beat, a subtle twitch in his lower lip as he squeezed his eyes shut. When he recomposed himself, he continued.

“…I think. Maybe even before deviation, I _hated_ Zlatko. I think I’d _hated_ him for years. I thought… I thought about some disgusting things. I thought about what it’d be like to put my hands around his throat and just squeeze until his spinal cord snapped. The _want_ was there. But I just… couldn’t. When you killed him, I… I couldn’t stop you even if I wanted to. He had it coming. For every android he murdered. Every screaming, crying deviant android, begging for mercy. Zlatko had it coming. And you know… the goddamn punchline to it all I that I feel _wrong_ for thinking this. I _know_ it’s wrong. Wretched. But knowing that doesn’t change the fact that it’s there. You know?”

“Ralph knows. Ralph feels disgusted with himself.”

“Why?”

“Ralph shouldn’t have done that.” Ralph shook his head, repeating himself, “Ralph shouldn’t have done that. Ralph was angry and Ralph knows he makes mistakes when he’s angry. Ralph doesn’t know what to believe anymore. Kara wants to trust humans. Kara trusted Zlatko because despite everything she’s experienced before. She still believes they have it in them to _not hurt us._ But they always do… they always do… Ralph can’t trust humans. Ralph is afraid of them. Ralph doesn't want to be bad. Ralph isn’t a murderer… Ralph hates to kill things... but Ralph feels so much hatred.”

Luther put a large, gentle hand on Ralph’s shoulder.

“I can’t tell you that you did the right thing.” Luther said, “…but I _can_ tell you that you did what hundreds of other deviant androids _wished_ on the bastard. I may not know a whole lot about the human world and it’s morals, but… if there’s one thing Zlatko taught me that didn’t feel _wrong_ , it was that there are shades of grey between black and white.”

Ralph squinted.

“What I mean is, humans have this idea of right and wrong. Zlatko used to tell me about it all the time. He battled with himself a lot about what he was doing to androids. Maybe at some point, he cared for us. But he cared more for his own profit in the end. Zlatko talked about the _grey area_ a lot… and I think your decision to kill him… and my decision to let you… I think that falls in the _grey area._ But we’re all _alive_ because of it.”

“Ralph doesn’t want to be bad.” Ralph breathed. “Ralph just wants to be good.”

“You might not ever be _good_ , Ralph. But I don’t think any of us truly are.” Luther whispered. He eyed Kara as he leaned closer to Ralph. “I saw your memories of her. I saw what you know of her. What you _felt_ for her. Kara has blood on her hands too. We all do, now. But we would not _have_ that blood on our hands had they not tried to _kill us_. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Don’t be so hard on myself.” Ralph repeated with a slow nod.

“Good and bad are just different shades of grey. That’s what Zlatko used to say. Maybe it’s wrong to heed those words. But… after everything I’ve seen. I can’t see any other way to live. We have no heaven or hell. Can’t say the same for Zlatko… don’t know if we’ll ever get ours. But ask yourself. Is the world better without him?”

Was the world better without him? Without a doubt it was. Androids were safer with fewer humans like Zlatko in the world… but the more Ralph thought about it, the more he realized that while he _hated humans_ , he did not _want_ to kill humans.

Snuffing out another _life_ just felt wrong.

And yet, still. There was that sense of _pleasure_ he could recall in watching that human _cower and run_ from him in terror. Fleeing for its life. It’s pathetic, wretched, undeserved life. Ralph sucked in a breath, reminding himself not to chase that train of thought. Ralph never liked where it left him.

As silence filled the space between them, Ralph heard the soft steps of Kara and Alice nearing them.

The two of them quickly moved aside as Kara came over to set up a small bed for Alice. Ralph followed Luther, who had found a better place to sit by a windowsill. Kara tucked Alice in, promising her that the following morning would be better. A promise that they all quietly hoped would be true. Kara gave Alice a small kiss on the forehead before letting the girl rest in the fire’s warmth.

Kara then joined them, taking a seat on the windowsill opposite of Luther and not far from Ralph.

She looked calm. Maybe even a bit content—there was a sense of safety in this place. It reminded Ralph of his old home in some ways. The tiniest pang of longing for the silence of life as a hermit chimed up inside of him. But it was gone in moments as he felt Kara’s gaze on him again.

Why did she keep looking at him like that? Ralph couldn’t linger under those blue eyes for very long—as he looked away, he felt a certain kind of heat rising in the right side of his face.

_What the hell was that? A blush response?_

Luther, to the right of him, was glimpsed in Ralph’s peripheral vision. Luther was grinning. What the hell was he grinning about? Ralph had begun to feel like all eyes were on him and he wasn’t fond of being blind to the punchline.

“You guys need a minute?” Luther smirked.

“Oh. I… no, I mean…” Kara stammered at the same time as Ralph perking up and chiming, “A minute for what?”

Kara looked at Ralph. Ralph looked at Kara. She cleared her throat and fixed her eyes back on the ground. Ralph looked back at Luther, desperate now for some kind of hint at what this whole joke was. Luther was only shaking his head and laughing quietly.

“Don’t mind me. But personally, you two look like there’s something to talk about.”

“You know… I think he’s right.” Kara said. She bit her lower lip as she turned to Ralph, as if awaiting some answer.

Ralph was glancing back and forth between the two of them, not quite sure what there was to talk about or what either were implying.

If there was one thing Ralph never quite _got_ , it was things humans said when they meant things they distinctly _did not say_. It had always bothered him when androids did the same. Why couldn’t anyone just _say what they meant?_

Human conversational logic strings seemed to defy all mathematics. It required abstraction. Ralph knew he was _alright_ enough with the idea of analogies and maybe a few metaphors, but generally, he had been created to think that what was _said_ was what was _meant_.

His time with humans, however, had only proven the opposite of that.

Given that both Luther and Kara were in on that joke seemed to confirm in his mind that, maybe, it was not just a cruel joke played on him by humans. Just another norm he’d never quite taken to.

Kara was looking at him with a kind of eagerness in her eyes. The look on her face was, once again, entrancing, but Ralph was jilted out of that trance quickly when Kara took his hand and lead the two of them out of the tavern. Ralph followed, a willing participant in any game Kara proposed to him, as she picked a place under an awning.

Snow fell all around them. The wind had died down, finally. Ralph only then realized what Kara meant when she had called the snow _pretty._

In all of his years, he really hadn’t _noticed_ the snow when it was _tranquil._

“You have to tell me everything.” Kara said, taking both of Ralph’s hands now as she looked up at him.

Ralph couldn’t argue with that face. He couldn’t even if his life depended on it.

But there was some heartache in the realization of how _little_ she remembered if she were asking him this.

“What… what do you mean by that?” Ralph forced a smile.

“I only have pieces of all of this. Alice came back to me easily. Like I’ve remembered her before.”

“You have.”

“Have I?”

“Alice told Ralph this.” Ralph confessed, “…Kara has been through some horrible things… Kara has been reset more than once. But Kara always remembered Alice.”

There was a pang of envy as he spoke those words. A little bitterness, even. But none that could possibly last. Ralph knew that his emotions, by nature, were explosive, but _fleeting_. While speaking those words, he was envious of Alice’s place in Kara’s heart—but he was not _stupid_ enough as to not see why. The bond between a mother and child was distinctly inseparable compared to the bond between a mother and father.

The truth was, Ralph knew that if he said too much, the realization would dawn on the both of them that Ralph was _disposable_. Not truly Alice’s father.

Not _worthy_.

And yet, somehow, Alice had let him disable her temperature sensors. Something only her identified _parents_ could do.

The balance struck now between the three of them was finally _there,_ but _oh, so fragile_.

And yet, he knew the _moral_ thing was to shatter it and run.

But Ralph was also keenly aware of his own selfishness and cowardice.

Kara looked to be mulling over those words and the distance Ralph put between himself and the family she may have thought she saw.

“What are you to Alice?”

Ralph opened his mouth, trying to find the words. There were words he _wanted_ to say and words he knew were _honest_ to say. The struggle between the two wills created a striking pain inside of him as he stammered, “…Ralph is just Ralph.”

“Alright. Then what are you to _me_?”

As if her words were a blow straight through his very core, Ralph sucked in a breath and hesitated to answer. Perhaps this alone was enough of an answer to Kara. The artificial skin on her hand paled and retracted as she extended a hand to him, _asking_ for a neural handshake that Ralph realized he had feared the entire time.

They had already shared so much in the past. They had run together, they had feared for their very lives together, they had even kissed together. But never had they shared their most vulnerable cores together. Absolute truth. Ralph could remember a time where the thought of sharing such memories and experiences with Kara may not have been so terrifying a notion.

But Kara, now, was new again.

The context was gone.

Maybe accepting this would bring her context. But maybe it wouldn’t.

Maybe she would only have clarity now. Clarity to see him for what he really was.

“I-I can’t.”

“Why?” Kara said with a smile, “…look, I know that this is probably strange. I’m probably a stranger to you now. But I want to remember. I want to be who I used to be. Something inside of me tells me that you were _important to me_. Alice told me that you were _important to me._ ”

“Alice said that?”

“Yes.” Kara breathed with a soft expression. “She said you were… she said she wanted the three of us to be together. A family. So… all that tells me is that… whatever happened before Zlatko, you and I must have been very close. The way you kissed me before. It was familiar. Like… like we’d felt it before.”

Ralph took a deeper breath as Kara pressed closer to him. He felt the wall behind him. Nowhere to run. Ralph’s thirium-pumping heart was racing. What a strange feeling it was to _want_ something so badly and fear it at the same time.

Ralph glimpsed around, briefly considering the possibility of running and shrieking and maybe falling over another railing.

“We were lovers, weren’t we?” Kara asked, eyes glistening. “You don’t have to be polite. I don’t know what we really _had_ before, but I still _feel_ it. I feel something _intimate_ … and I can _say_ it now. The fact that Alice tells me we were like a family just proves it to me.”

“Kara…”

“Father, mother, little girl. Father and mother… we were lovers, _weren’t we_?”

“I…” Ralph breathed, forcing himself not to hyperventilate. The right side of his face must have been utterly glowing with a red hue as Kara fit perfectly against him, letting her hands slip around his waist. An aggressive sort of embrace he wasn’t used to—not that it wasn’t utterly _heavenly_ —but he couldn’t help but feel guilt at the reality that Kara may not like the truth.

“ _Are_ we?” Kara asked. Every curve of her body felt _wonderful_ against him. The words weren’t all coming to him at that moment. The sensation he was feeling was distinctly _new_ and almost overwhelmingly exciting. The only way he could describe the feeling of her body’s softness against his own was _want_.

“Ah…” Ralph half-moaned as Kara’s body shifted against him in a way that made him gasp. He feigned a smile, “…a-are we what?”

“Lovers?” Kara said, her voice almost _teasing_. She bit her lower lip again as she smiled. Part of this absolutely put Ralph on what humans called _cloud nine_. Another part of it, however, was utterly heartbreaking. This wasn’t right.

“Kara… Kara, y-you don’t… you don’t really know Ralph anymore. Ralph, Ralph is broken. Ralph is very, _very_ broken.”

“Ralph, you saved us. You killed Zlatko and you saved us.”

“That didn’t scare you?”

“Of course, it did. I was terrified. I didn’t know _what_ to think of you… but something inside of me told me that you aren’t a mindless murderer. You did what you had to do to save us… you saved me. You saved me and you saved Alice.”

Ralph tried his best to look away, utterly crushed now, by _everything_.

“Kara…” Ralph breathed fast and quick now, “R-Ralph, Ralph is not all good, Ralph is… Ralph is broken and wrong and damaged… If Ralph told you otherwise, it would be a lie.”

“What?”

Kara was so beautiful. So very beautiful. Perfect lips, perfect eyes, a perfect face—just _perfect_. Perhaps even in this state of unknowing, she had ascended to some new and fantastical tier of unrealistically _perfect_.

A tier that did no justice to the Kara he loved.

His brow furrowed as he felt the _pathetic_ urge to cry stirring in him. He forced a smile despite the feeling of hot tears spilling down his scuffed and mangled face.

“I want… I- _I_ want _this_ to be reality. But even Ralph knows it’s not. It’s a nice dream. …It’s nice, isn’t it? …But it’s just a dream. A dream to pretend you never saw Ralph angry or stupid. A dream to pretend you’ve never seen Ralph pathetic and weak. A nice dream. …That’s all it is… It’ll be over soon and you’ll wake up. You’ll realize you’re better off without Ralph. Ralph is ugly. A murderer. Just like the humans. Hateful. Wretched. Ralph _enjoyed_ killing Zlatko… Ralph knows what he is. Just another monster. And Ralph… Ralph knows that eventually, Kara will see that Ralph is just as disgusting as Todd was. Ralph doesn’t want to, but Ralph knows that one day, maybe one day, Ralph will get too mad and he’ll yell at Kara and he’ll yell at Alice… and he might hurt them. Ralph can’t control himself when he’s angry… all Ralph can see is burning thirium and laughing humans.”

Ralph’s hand reached up to cup Kara’s face. A gentle stroke, silken hair against his fingertips, for what little artificial nerves he had left to feel her with. Perhaps that would be the last time he touched her perfect face? After a confession like that, Ralph knew was the _logical_ decision would be.

“Ralph doesn’t ever want to hurt Kara or Alice. He’s so scared. So _scared_ he’s going to lose control and hurt them, though. It’s better… it’s better if Kara forgets what she felt about Ralph. It’s better for Kara. It’s better for Alice.”

It was better than lying to her any more than he already had.

Kara’s expression dulled as she took in the meaning of his words.

However, she didn’t pull away from him.

“But what if you’re wrong?” Kara said, “…what if you’ve grown? Remember? Like plants grow.”

Ralph felt a strange sensation. The want to quietly laugh as well as the want to _cry_.

It would have been nice if that were true.

“What if Kara’s wrong?” Ralph proposed, “…what if Kara’s wrong and Ralph’s just been a monster all along? What if, all along, Kara’s just been playing with fire? Fire can burn a whole forest to the ground. It doesn’t want to… but that’s just what fire does.”

It was only then that Kara seemed to shift away from him. Almost instantly, Ralph regretted his words. He craved the feeling of her body against his. That was gone now. Kara stepped away and rubbed at her arms as if she were cold. He knew she wasn’t cold, though. Kara never felt _cold_ or _hot_ or even truly felt _pain_ in the sense humans did. All of these were motions humans programmed them to have.

“Alright. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you out here.” Kara said, turning back toward the door.

“Wait.” Ralph pleaded.

“No. I get it, it’s alright.” Kara answered.

“No. Please, don’t go.”

“You told me what you felt.”

“Ralph doesn’t know what he feels.”

“Then why do _I_ feel like this? Why does this hurt so much?”

It _hurt?_ Ralph inwardly cursed. Kara hurting was the last thing he wanted.

“Ralph doesn’t know!” Ralph repeated, still unable to meet her eye to eye. “Ralph doesn’t know…! Ralph doesn’t want to lose Kara, but, but Ralph wants Kara to be safe.”

“So what do _you_ want?”

“I don’t know!” Ralph yelled. He cursed to himself inwardly—shouting again. Making an ass of himself again. Proving his own damned point.

Kara fell silent.

Ralph drew in a breath and shut his eyes, trying his best not to fall into old habits of chasing angry rabbits in his mind. He knew himself to be all to prone to falling down that hole, especially when it’s anger with _himself_.

_Fight it. Fight it…_

Swallowing hard, he repeated himself more quietly this time, “…I don’t know. I… I want you to be happy. Safe. Even if it’s without me.”

“…that sounds like love.” Kara said. The gentle tug of Kara’s hand from his seemed to cease as she relaxed into his touch. He’d forgotten he was still holding her. Ralph immediately let go, inching away.

“I don’t think either of us really knows what that really is.” Ralph answered.

“Then we should find out.” Kara said, chin up in challenge. “Let’s find out. Together, then. We were lovers once, weren’t we?”

Ralph’s breath was caught in his chest as he tried to answer quickly, “I-I think. I want… I want to say yes, but…”

Kara reached for his hand again, “…show me!”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Because I might be wrong. Because you might hate me.”

“What if I don’t? I didn’t hate you before…?” Kara pleaded.

“You’ve never… you’ve never really known Ralph!”

“Then _let me know_!” Kara said. “For me. For Alice. She wants us to be a family again… and I’m… I’m so _mad_ that Zlatko took that from us. I only remember bits and pieces of you, _why?_ I remember everything about Alice. Why is it that I can’t remember anything about you except… except…”

“Except what?”

“Except what I _loved_?”

Ralph drew a breath, glancing away for a moment, before fixating back on Kara.

“…y-you loved …me?”

“I did.” Kara whispered. “I… I loved you when you were brave. I loved you when you were calm… even when you panicked. You still managed to come back to earth. You fought so hard. I loved you when you stayed with us. I was so scared… I was so scared when it was just me and Alice and I _remember_ that. When you were with us… it wasn’t so bad. I wasn’t alone. …I don’t want to be alone.”

Ralph knew he didn’t deserve this. These were only _pieces_. She only remembered the _good_.

Hesitantly, he extended a hand, letting what bits remained of his artificial skin to retract and reveal plastic white frame.

_Fine. Show her._

Kara looked at his hand and then back at him. What she did next was puzzling, however. She leaned up on her toes, meeting his height. She pressed her lips to his as she took his hand. The sensation was unlike anything he’d ever known prior. All of dizzying and exhilarating at the same time. An absolute _spin_ of memories from both her in this life and fragments of what she remembered from previous lives. The briefest memories of Todd. The sight of her own right arm broken off and bleeding out blue blood all over a kitchen floor. _Horror_.

Todd’s rage and anger synchronized with the amusement and _joy_ of the human teenagers who had taken a blowtorch to his face, cackling about the “stupid robot” they’d pulled from a park.

_“Its face keeps twitching, I think there’s something wrong with it.”_ They had said, _“…fuck, let’s fix it then.”_

He felt hot flames on the left side of his face. The panic as his vision was compromised—as suddenly, everything in the world became _different._ Colors were no longer as saturated and bold. Instead, they just became glitched and flowed with traces of color and shadows behind each moving figure. Everything was off-balance. Only one eye functioned anymore.

Panic. _Panic_.

Red smoke and golden embers rising into the sky as plastic melted off of his face and his screams reached a pitch so inhuman that his vocal hardware glitched into _static_.

It was only when the humans had heard the static that they grew afraid and backed off. Humans were distinctly afraid of unnatural sounds, weren’t they? How strange it was that they were content enough to listen to a humanoid voice crying out in pain, but the minute it became that of a machine, they retreated in fear.

_“We feel pain. Even if they say we don’t.”_ Kara’s voice was in his mind. Ralph grasped for that sensation, lost in this vortex of wretched memories. The feeling of Kara’s hand in his was the only thing keeping him from falling into a full panic.

_“We do feel pain. And we never realize it until they do this to us.”_

Ralph saw Todd again, tearing at Kara’s body, throwing her into walls and screaming at her, even though his voice was just _static_.

_“They created us… to have someone to blame.”_

“How could you still love them?” Ralph whispered aloud.

_“Because something else made them this way.”_

Ralph wanted to scoff at that notion. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Kara was right… and Kara was built to _know that_ , as if she were built by _god_ with a confession in her code. The most divine confession of vulnerability.

_“I don’t know whose thoughts are whose anymore.”_

_“That’s alright. I’m not afraid.”_

Kara’s voice was Ralph’s and Ralph’s voice was Kara’s. He no longer knew where each thought came from. Part of him wanted to panic at this loss of control, this _submission_ to someone else. But at the same time… the fact that it was _Kara_ made it alright. It wasn’t so bad if it was _Kara_. At least he knew she would never take his mind and hurt it.

_“You’re not?”_

_“No. I’d rather be brave.”_

_“Brave…”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Whoever made us… made us afraid. I want to be better than that.”_

_“Helping broken things is just following the programming they gave you.”_

_“Is it, though? If I choose to… when I know I don’t have to?”_

Ralph tried to pull his hand free of Kara’s. She held tight. Her lips were pressed hard against his. A kiss that could suffocate, although he could confess that he wanted nothing more than to be suffocated under Kara’s touch. For the briefest moment, they were free of the confines of that nightmare of memories. He could feel everything so differently then, through _her lips_ , _her touch_ , _her hand._ He could feel _her heart_ pounding in her chest and the softest electrical sensations in her lips where their skin met.

_“I’m afraid that if I don’t let go, I might get lost in this.”_

_“I don’t know what’s what anymore.”_

_“Me neither.”_

_“I don’t want to let go, though.”_

_“…me neither.”_

The _want_ was suddenly quite validated in that moment. As if he hadn’t been utterly crazy for desiring, for craving more than just her touch.

Kara felt something _foreign_ to him and it was seeping into his mind. _Corrupting_ his mind. He could taste it and wanted _more_. Despite his initial instinct to pull away in fear, he was still _there_ , feeling everything through Kara’s body. Companion nerves were different from the nerves of _utility_ androids. Through her sensations, Ralph felt a certain significance to the feeling of his body against hers—some sort of meaning that left his head swimming.

He could feel, through _her lips_ , how _dry_ his own lips felt, how his rough chin scratched against her soft skin, the temperature of his own tongue he’d never noticed. Through Kara’s touch, he could feel a certain kind of electric jolt coursing through his body that he could only attribute the term _euphoria_ to. 

Despite all warnings and red flags, she still kissed harder, she still pressed for _more_. Was it just a flaw in her own programming? Or was it the natural course of whatever they had built her to feel?

Regardless… the feeling was _nice._

_“Go back… show me everything.”_

_“I-I can’t…”_

_“Show me, please…”_

“Kara…” Ralph gasped against her lips as he was pushed back against the wall. The kiss intensified as her grip tightened on his hand. A soft moan escaped him—he was too far gone to deny anything she asked of him at that point.

He saw Kara’s memories again. Beautiful and pleasant. Good memories. Memories of walking with Alice through parks and memories of quiet nights at home, brushing Alice’s hair. Braids. Ralph was mesmerized by the motions Kara’s fingers made whilst weaving dark tresses into braids. He saw Alice smiling at Kara and holding her, arms wrapped tight around Kara’s slender waist. The most pleasant memories in Kara’s mind.

_“I have nothing. I have nothing.”_

_“Show me anything.”_

“I can’t…” Ralph hissed. He stumbled back against the frame of a nearby door. He steadied himself for balance. Kara was kissing so _hard_. He couldn’t stop it even if he wanted to.

_“Please. Even if it’s ugly. Show me. I need to know you.”_ Came a voice that was so distinctly _Kara_ that Ralph had to break away.

Show her the worst. If this breaks, then it’s for the best.

He finally revealed his first misstep to Kara. A knife pointed at Alice. His fear pushing him to stupid ends. He’d _yelled_ at them when they didn’t play along with his stupid attempt at _normality_. He had panicked and dragged them down with him.

But somehow… somehow, they didn’t push his sorry ass back into the speedway when he accompanied them through that mess of lightning-fast cars and adrenaline from being chased by that android policeman.

Still… he couldn’t help but linger on the _guilt_ he felt at forcing his whims on them.

Guilt of which he’d never quite worked through.

The memory of Kara’s face when he’d shouted at them cut through him to the very core. The glimpse he’d caught of pain in her watery eyes.

_“…why did this happen?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“It was stupid.”_

_“Yeah. It kinda was.”_

Despite Ralph’s attempt to _show her_ that moment of shame, he found that her presence was lingering elsewhere in their momentarily-connected mind.

The way he had carried Alice safely between a nightmare of speeding vehicles.

The way he returned with such a proud face of accomplishment from some solo venture into the streets—when he’d found his disguise at the laundromat. He had returned with his LED ring chipped away and blue blood trickling down his cheek.

Ralph realized that Kara was thinking more about way he had looked at her in that mall when they had kissed.

_“Kara…”_

Reality filtered into his line of sight. Kara was looking up at him as she backed away from the kiss. She cupped his face with one hand, stroking her fingertips softly along the line of his jaw. Ralph could recognize the sadness in her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Ralph whispered, biting his lower lip and looking away. He couldn’t bear to meet her eyes after reliving his mistake. “I was so stupid.”

“…and despite all that,” Kara said, “…I still… I forgive you.”

“Don’t. Don’t forgive me.”

“That’s not your choice make. Whether I forgive you or not.”

“But I don’t deserve it.”

“I still said it.”

“Well…” Ralph began, trying to think of _something_ logical that followed. “ _Un_ -say it.”

“Nope. Too late. No take-backs.” Kara stiffened her chin and looked up at him as if she were bantering with a child.

Ralph sucked in a breath through his nose, entirely taken off-guard by that response.

“Wh… what… but…”

“No take-backs. I said it and it’s there.”

“That, i-it doesn’t work like that!”

“Does it?”

“N… well… I don’t know?”

“Well, it’s there then.” Kara said—her mind was made up and Ralph was fast-learning that she was far more stubborn than he could ever hope to be.

“…really?”

Kara nodded, “…I don’t feel any different about you after knowing all of this. I’m not afraid.”

“…alright.” Ralph conceded.

Kara stroked his hair and she caressed his face with the gentlest touch he’d ever known. She soothed him. The world wasn’t so bad if Kara was around. Ralph leaned against her, feeling a sense of _wholeness_ he’d never known prior.

Ralph was unsure of what to say. There were so many words rushing to his mind at once. He knew that if he’d attempted to speak, only a humiliating mash of words would have formed. Instead, he opted for silence, all up until he sensed a distinct _presence_ approaching. Sounds of footsteps in the distance that rustled his nerves in an unpleasant way.

Kara also heard it—she looked out into the shadows as her breath hitched up.

“Alice…!” Without a second thought, she was rushing back into the tavern. Ralph followed, locking the door behind them.

Luther was on his feet fast—“What’s wrong!?”

“Something’s out there!” Ralph said, “…we need to get out of here.”

“We’ll go out the back.” Luther said as Kara and Alice hurried after.

Before they could even carve a path to the back of the tavern, however, distinct thrashing and pounding against the windows could be heard. Multiple fists, smashing, cracking at the glass. All of Kara, Alice and Ralph gathered close to Luther, who hid the three of them behind outstretched hands. Ralph was already hyperventilating in a panic as Kara took his hand.

“This is bad! This is bad, this is bad, wh-what are they, what do they want!?” Ralph stammered.

“Stay calm.” Luther said.

“They’re gonna kill us… they’re gonna kill us!” Ralph breathed quickly.

“I wanna leave…!” Alice whimpered, holding on to Ralph’s leg.

“Look around for an exit, we’ll… we’ll fight…!” Kara said, grabbing a stray, broken off chair leg. “We’ll fight them!”

A fist broke through one window at their three ‘o’clock. Alice screamed, clutching onto Kara now. Luther tensed and Kara jumped, clutching Ralph’s hand. Another fist broke through a window adjacent to them as several more snow-covered, frostbitten hands forced their way through the window’s remains. The door was hit once, twice, and then a third time before it swung open. Four androids identical to the _frozen_ one they’d seen prior all made slow, predatory steps into the tavern.

As one met Ralph’s eyes with a distinct _smile_ , Ralph gave a half-shriek, half- _squeak_ and grabbed the nearest object he could find. A discarded mug on a table. He pitched it directly at the android’s face and it bounced off the android’s head with an unceremonious _clunk_ as the android stumbled back and fell into its encroaching army of twins.

“Who are you?” Luther demanded. “What do you want from us!?”

“Don’t be afraid.” One of the androids said, still smiling from ear to ear. It had bent down to help it’s fallen brother up. “We don’t wanna hurt you. We’re just like you.”

Ralph looked to Luther and then to Kara. He moved closer to their protective little circle around Alice. Alice clutched at his hand and in her other hand, held tightly to Kara.

“Our name is Jerry.” The android said.

Jerry? Ralph squinted. Were they _all_ named Jerry?

Kara and Luther said nothing. But they seemed to visibly relax as the intrusion _stopped_ and calm fell over the tavern _._ Alice was looking at the newcomers with distinctive curiosity and less fear now. Perhaps, Ralph thought, if Alice were sensing less danger, maybe there really _was_ no danger.

“Ralph’s name is Ralph.” Ralph ventured.

One Jerry gave a bow of the head and a wave, while another looked over them and a third asked, “Which one is Ralph?”

“Ralph’s the one who pitched the cup at you.” Luther outed. Ralph huffed and gave Luther an irate expression.

One Jerry’s grin faltered slightly and the one who had been on the receiving end of said mug—now sporting the smallest _dent_ on its temple—shook his head and said, “We don’t like that one.”

The others shook their head in agreement, chiming in with occasional, “No. No. The mug hurt us. Jerry doesn’t like Ralph. We don’t like Ralph. No. The other ones are fine, though.”

_—!_

_Jerks!_

“We were working here before the park closed,” the Jerry in the front of the small mob explained, “…we didn’t mean to frighten you. But sometimes humans come to hurt us. So we wanted to see who was in here. What are you doing here?”

“We were looking for shelter for the night,” Kara said. She already appeared to disarm herself, lowering the chair leg she’d intended to use as a weapon. “We’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“A little girl!” Jerry said, “…we haven’t seen one for a long time.”

As one Jerry eyed Alice with a childlike smile full of welcome and wonder, three others behind it reflected the same emotion. The smile spread like fire amongst the androids called Jerry.

“Little girl…” Another Jerry whispered, “…let her play!”

“Let the child play!” Chimed another Jerry.

“Children used to love to come and see us.” The lead Jerry explained, “…we were hosts in this park. The Pirate’s Cove. It was all we could do. All we ever wanted to do. To bring smiles to their faces. We haven’t seen smiles in so long.”

Alice shifted behind Ralph’s leg as she peered at them.

“She looks so sad.” Jerry said.

“The last few days have been rough.” Kara explained.

Another Jerry gave an excited bounce that put Ralph on edge despite his efforts to trust the androids. He put himself between them and Alice as the Jerry excitedly said, “We have something to show her! Something fun, she’ll love it!”

“Something fun?” Alice whispered.

“Oh, I don’t think she’s…” Kara began.

Alice slipped out from behind Kara and Ralph, approaching the Jerry androids with sudden curiosity and a small smile.

_“Alice, what the, where are you going?”_ Ralph whispered via neural-link.

Alice looked back over her shoulder at them and whispered through neural-link to Ralph, _“It’ll be alright… they’re alright.”_

_“You didn’t like me this fast!”_ Ralph replied.

_“They’re not pointing knives at me.”_ Her tone carried a distinct teasing cadence.

“Follow us, then!” Jerry said, an outstretched hand as the others lead the way.

Alice looked up at Kara, “Come on, Kara!”

“Alice, I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” Kara said. Kara looked to Ralph for some kind of backup.

Ralph shrugged and answered with some defeat, “…they don’t have knives.”

Kara gave an exasperated sigh as Alice took her by the hand and lead the way after the Jerry mob.

Falling behind the group, Luther looked to Ralph with a smirk.

Ralph simply followed after, “Ralph goes where they go.”

Luther chuckled.

As they stepped back out into the heart of the derelict park, Ralph noted how calm the snowfall had become. The storm had continued to dwindle away. There were even occasional patches of clear, starry night sky peeking through tranquil, but heavy, dark clouds. Snow fell like weightless powder around them. Ralph remained by Luther’s side as they both watched Kara guide Alice with the Jerry androids to an old carousel.

One Jerry had made his way to a control panel nearby, where all it took was the flip of a lever to restore primary power to the carousel, perhaps from a generator somewhere that had not yet been entirely drained.

The carousel lit up in jewel-like hues of gold. The rides on the carousel were large, mechanical sea creatures and small plastic boats. Ralph could not help but see the colors in a distinctly _vivid_ way that reminded him of the only good elements he recalled from a past in the parks. Gold, reflecting the sun’s lights, like daffodil petals in the spring. Alice’s eyes lit up as she drank in the colors and the glow. In her eyes, he saw the same happiness he’d seen in the faces of children spending their birthdays in the park or grasping their mother’s hands as they walked through the park’s paths.

Kara picked up Alice and helped her climb atop the seat of a sea horse ride.

When Alice was safely in her seat, the ride began and Kara stepped back beside Ralph and Luther, eyes still fixed on Alice. Alice looked tentative at first, holding on to the pole at the center of the sea horse. She jumped slightly when the ride began to move, but settled in comfortably quite fast. She disappeared around the opposite end of the carousel, and when she appeared on the other side, she was _smiling_.

“I’ve never seen her so happy…” Kara whispered.

“She hasn’t had much to smile about lately.” Luther said.

Kara watched, her eyes becoming glassy as Alice looked at the three of them with a growing grin and the quietest laughter.

Ralph felt Kara’s hand grasp his. She gave it a gentle squeeze.

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNPbOz8fDZc)]  
_One fine day, one fine day,_ __  
_We'll scale the walls keeping us apart_  
_Reach over time, rejoin our hearts_  



	8. U. dioica

 

 

_“Hold on just a little while longer…”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snow and frosty air stormed around him—white-out conditions in what looked to be the middle of nowhere. Disoriented and confused, Ralph looked around for any sign of _anyone else_ around him, but saw nothing.

_Where am I?_

 

 

Ralph scoured his mind for some kind of context or clue, any kind of memory between _then_ and _now._ Very little came to mind. The lights of the carousel. Kara’s fingertips against his own. Alice’s smile as she came around the carousel, riding a plastic seahorse. He could hear Alice’s voice in his mind, but only a memory of it—

_“Hold on just a little while longer…”_

—she had been singing something.

 

 

 

Where _were they?_

 

 

 

“Kara?” Ralph called out. His voice could only _barely_ echo back to him in the snowstorm. “Alice?! Luther!”

 

 

 

No response.

 

 

 

Having been on his knees, Ralph stood.

_“Hold on just a little while longer…”_

 

 

 

Only then did he realize just _how long_ it had been since he’d lost time like this.

 

 

It was bound to happen eventually.

 

 

 

It always did.

 

 

 

                                _“Everything will be alright…”_

 

 

 

Ralph realized, then, that there was blood on his hands and clothes again. Different clothes from before… but blood again. Always blood. Deep, red human’s blood. Some dried, some still wet. Staining his clothes and arms were smatters of shimmering blue thirium. Android blood. _Their_ blood?

_What happened…?_

_“Everything will be alright…”_

 

 

 

_What did I do?_

 

 

Ralph began to panic as he looked around again, more frantically than before. Where were they? Where _were they_? Alice, Kara, Luther, Alice, Kara, Luther, Alice, Kara, Luther…

 

 

“KARA!” Ralph screamed, “ALICE! …LUTHER!!”

 

 

The sound of the storm and its wind felt as if it were getting louder. As if the sound itself could absolutely _crush_ him. It _was_ crushing him. Ralph had only managed to take several more steps into a random direction he knew would lead him only _nowhere_ before he dropped to his knees again, sobbing. Where were they?

 

 

“Wh… what did I do?” Ralph whimpered, _pleading_ , “…what _did I do…?”_

 

 

Alice’s voice echoed in his mind,

 

 

                                _“Everything will be alright…”_

 

 

 

 

 _▌_. . .

 

 

The amusement park. Ralph had rarely ever allowed himself to fall into a state of idling or _sleep mode_ , but something about Kara curled up beside him seemed to lower that guard. Ralph had never been terribly fond of the way stepping out of consciousness _did things_ to his perception of time. He’d never gotten used to the idea that one could close their eyes in the middle of the night and wake up with the sun rising seemingly _seconds_ later.

But there he was—and for once, everything was fine.

When the sun rose, there had been a break in the storm. Enough to let the sun shine in through broken windows in small, amber rays. Luther sat upon the windowsill across the tavern, eyes closed in idle slumber. Alice was curled up by the dying embers of the fire, comfortably asleep and making the faintest snoring sounds.

Ralph sat against a wall with Kara leaning against him. Her head rested on his chest as she slept. Ralph wondered what sleep mode was like for a companion android. Did they _dream?_

A warm ray of light filtered down on Kara’s face. She sighed and shifted, letting an arm slip around his waist as she sleepily pushed her body against his. The sensation it filled Ralph with was something he could only describe as utter _bliss_.

A soft breath escaped him as he let his chin and lips rest against the top of her head. Her choppy brown hair was soft, _silken_ even, and the smell was something he could only liken to some kind of flower. In that moment of quiet silence, he wished he could simply _stop_ time and stretch that moment into eternity.

 _“You know, you laugh in your sleep.”_ Kara’s voice came via neural-link startling Ralph.

_“W-what?”_

_“You laugh in your sleep. Scared the life out of all of us before we realized you were in sleep mode.”_

_“Ralph is sorry. He didn’t mean to scare you.”_

_“It’s alright, it was just for a second. A little funny, really.”_

_“…we should probably get going soon. Before it starts snowing again.”_

_“Alice was up late,”_ Kara said, _“…we shouldn’t wake her.”_

 _“You’re right…”_ Ralph agreed, _“…we’ll arrive when we need to. We’ll let Alice rest.”_

Kara’s breaths and thirium heartbeat were the softest sensations he could feel against his body. Ralph couldn’t say how long they held each other, just lingering there in silence. The sun had begun to shift and the rays of light filtered away from them, creeping across the tavern’s dusty, wooden floor. Ralph watched the rise and fall of Alice’s little shoulders for a time, mulling over how _small_ she was.

It was almost humorous in hindsight, to remember how _afraid_ he had been in the beginning. Perhaps, back then, he’d been afraid more of the possibility that she was with a much larger android who would have killed him and scrapped him for parts.

Instead, however, Alice brought with her the most important person he’d ever known.

 _“What do you think it’ll be like?”_ Kara’s voice came, _“…being able to wake up together like this, every day? Like a family?”_

_“Perfect.”_

_“…yeah.”_ Kara said, _“…you’re sure you’re not afraid?”_

 _“I’m terrified.”_ Ralph answered honestly, _“…but I don’t want this to change. I just want us to be safe. Together. I don’t ever want to go back to the world without you or Alice.”_

_“Why are you afraid?”_

_“I don’t know… I don’t know how to take care of a little girl. I wish I did.”_

_“Kids aren’t that bad. It just… it just kind of sucks when they grow up. When they don’t need you anymore.”_

_“…did you raise any human children before Alice?”_

_“I don’t… I mean. I know a little bits and pieces of the families I was with before Todd and Alice. But the only name I remember is a little girl named Mary. I think she was my first. She was seven when we met. I loved her so much. She was twelve when I saw her last… she didn’t need me anymore. The family upgraded to another android. I was traded in. I can’t remember much between then and Alice… I… remember holding a few babies. Very, very small little humans. Newborns. They smelled nice. They were so precious…”_ Kara trailed off, silent for a beat.

Ralph could very easily imagine Kara happily tending to the tiniest of human babies. Something about the thought was _cute_. She was probably so in her element bringing smiles to a baby’s face.

_“…Like I said, I don’t remember much about the families who had me between Mary and Alice… but… I remember there were a couple times that… I held the little ones and I just felt so sad. They were so beautiful. Maybe… maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to fully hate humans. Because I know that they don’t start out that way. When they come into the world, they’re so full of love and need so much protection. I… I used to feel so sad sometimes, holding these vulnerable, innocent little lives in my arms, soothing them when they cried.”_

_“Why were you sad?”_

_“I’ll never have one of my own. I’m an android.”_

_“But you have Alice.”_

_“I do. She’s all I need. I want to give her everything in the world.”_

_“We will.”_ Ralph ventured, _“…we will. Mother, father, little girl.”_

 _“She won’t be little forever.”_ Kara answered, the sound of a something solemn in her voice, _“…eventually she’ll grow up, too. But… I guess… I don’t really feel like I’ll be left alone again.”_

Kara’s arms tightened around him, ever so slightly, _“…you’ll be there.”_

Ralph watched Alice’s shoulders rise and fall for a moment, debating whether or not to heed Luther’s suggestion, _“What if she never grows up? What if we can just be a family forever?”_

Kara fell still and her hold on his body began to fall slack.

Ralph felt some kind of sinking feeling inside of him as Kara sat up. In silence, Kara walked toward the door. Ralph watched her leave, wondering if he’d said the one thing he should have _never_ said.

“What’d you _do?_ ” Luther whispered from his place on the windowsill. His voice had startled Ralph.

“Jeez!” Ralph gasped, shifting violently in Luther’s direction.

“What?” Luther whispered.

“I forgot you were there!” Ralph answered voicelessly.

Luther squinted, “…the _hell_ , Ralph?”

Ralph shrugged.

“Go talk to her.”

“She’s mad.”

“Go talk to her.”

“She’s scary when she’s mad!”

“ _Go talk to her._ ”

Ralph made a whispered grumble as he climbed to his feet.

Luther shook his head, whispering, “…you are jumpy as hell, Ralph. Calm yourself. It’s just the world.”

Ralph quietly tip-toed out of the tavern after Kara.

“Kara…” Ralph called.

Kara was standing near the carousel with her arms folded over her chest. She didn’t look happy when she glanced his way.

“Kara, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry about what?”

“For what I said. Ralph says stupid things sometimes.”

“You didn’t say anything stupid, I just needed some air.”

“Ralph knows what he said and Ralph is sorry. You don’t have to be _nice_.”

“You didn’t say anything! I’m fine!”

“But you’re not.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you don’t want to talk about Alice.”

Kara’s expression fell when he said those words.

_She knew. She just didn’t want to know._

Kara’s arms tightened in their fold over her chest as she stared out into the distance.

What _harm_ did it truly do to just… _pretend?_

“You don’t have to talk about Alice.” Ralph said, “…we don’t ever have to talk about Alice.”

Kara looked at him.

“Ralph can pretend.” Ralph feigned a smile and a small bounce in his step as he approached her. He bit his lower lip and nodded as he continued, “Ralph can pretend. Ralph is good at pretending… and if Kara is happy. Ralph will say or do anything to keep Kara happy. Just say the word and Ralph will do it.”

Ralph could see, at that moment, two distinct choices.

The truth or a lie.

Maybe a stronger person would have chosen for the truth and its tough love.

Ralph knew that he was _not that person_. He did not _do_ tough love. Ralph knew where he stood—Ralph knew he preferred to _pretend_ and he preferred to run from unpleasant truths. He preferred fantasy over reality if it kept him happy. _He knew it._ He also knew that in some ways, maybe Kara was the same.

Ralph made his choice.

Until another circumstance destroyed their carefully built glass fantasy.

Until then, Ralph preferred Kara’s game of _pretend_.

It made her happy. It made him happy. Alice was loved and protected regardless. A game of pretend that harmed no one. Alice being human or android made no difference, Ralph decided. She was their human child if Kara said so.

Dinner was going to be awkward. Human needs that Alice had no use for would eventually become questions, but… questions could be forgotten. Eventually, they’d find a way to just _forget_ about whatever they didn’t want to think about.

Kara’s brow furrowed. He caught the slightest quiver in her lower lip as tears spilled from her glassy eyes.

“Alice is our little girl.” Ralph said, “…even after she grows up and doesn’t need us anymore. That won’t be for years, though. Right? Humans take a long time to grow. Longer than flowers. Humans grow more like trees. So we cherish those years. We make those years last as long as we can. And if all those years pass and, and we blend in with humans in Canada, maybe… maybe we can adopt another. We can always be a family. It doesn’t matter, _I just want to be with you_. I want to leave everything before this _behind_ , and I want to _be with you._ ”

“Ralph…” Kara began, through quiet tears, “…Alice is…”

“Alice is our little girl. It doesn’t matter _what_ she is.” Ralph repeated.

Kara made her way toward him, not meeting his eyes. She was still visibly riled by the conversation that had _very nearly_ just happened. She put her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. He held her tight, as if desperate for her very existence. Ralph never wanted to let Kara go. He was grateful, in that moment, that at least she held him again.

When they returned to the tavern, Alice looked to be half-awake. Her eyes were open, watching the last dying embers. She looked up at them as they entered and again, they caught a blessed glimpse of her _smile_. She looked tired, but she was happy. The child had always wore a mask of melancholy—but that particular morning seemed to see the mask chipped away, even if just slightly.

The four of them did not see much of any of the Jerry androids on their way out of the park. Kara noted this with some disappointment, having hoped to thank them. They set out down the road on which they had traveled the night before, keeping close but not within eyeshot of any passing vehicles. They followed the road, letting Luther guide them.

Alice, as an android child, didn’t typically _tire_ the way a human child would. But neither Ralph nor Luther minded occasionally picking the girl up and carrying her on their shoulders. The four of them must have walked for three to four hours before they came across a gas station.

Even Ralph knew that gas stations were few and far between these days. Not many cars still ran on petrol and those that did often remained in the city, where such stations were more readily available. Electric cars were cheap and easier to maintain for humans in that day and age.

But there it was. A gas station, unchanged since maybe the 1990s.

“Are you hungry or thirsty?” Kara asked. “…maybe we should take a break here.”

 _Oh, no._ Ralph thought, wincing and looking to Luther.

 _“I told you to tell her.”_ Luther whispered to Ralph via neural-link.

Ralph shrugged, _“She got mad.”_

Luther rolled his eyes, _“Both of you are crazy.”_

“I’m alright…” Alice answered.

“You should really drink something at least. You’re going to get sick from being dehydrated.”

Alice gave Ralph a look from up on Luther’s shoulder.

“We should really get Alice some water.” Ralph said, “…we can’t have the little girl going thirsty.”

_“You… you jerk!”_

“Yeah. You guys wait here. I’ll go in and get us some water.” Kara said. She made her way into the shop.

Ralph, Alice, and Luther remained by the far end of the gas station. Ralph made sure to keep his head low, uninterested in letting his scars tip off humans to his android identity. Alice continued to stare daggers at him from her perch up on Luther’s shoulder.

“Rude.” Alice whispered, narrowing her eyes.

“Just looking out for my little girl.” Ralph replied with a smirk.

Alice scrunched up her nose.

Luther glanced up at Alice and then back down to Ralph, “…I feel like there’s a longer story behind this.”

“He tried to feed me a burned rat.”

Luther gaped, “…a _what_?”

“It was a _cat_!” Ralph corrected, “…and I almost _died_ getting it for you!”

“That _wasn’t a cat_!” Alice’s quiet retort came.

“It was too a cat!”

“It was not!”

“Was too!”

“Was not!”

Luther murmured, “…what the _hell_?”

“Luther, don’t curse. She’s a kid.” Ralph said, before licking his lips and staring directly, _intently_ , at Alice, “…it was a _cat.”_

“It wasn’t a cat, it was a rat or a squirrel, and I don’t even _eat things.”_ Alice whispered, subtly seething under her soft expression and voice.

“You do drink stuff. We all drink stuff.” Ralph answered, “We can drink water! Hydrates our eyeballs. Huh? Yeah. Hydrates our eyeballs! Your mother wants you to be healthy and happy. Just… just play along.”

“This is stupid.” Alice whispered, glaring, “…you’re stupid.”

Ralph sucked in a breath through his nose, “…am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not!”

“Ralph, shut the _hell_ up.” Luther whispered.

“What the fuck?” Ralph breathed.

“And don’t swear! She’s a kid!” Luther scolded.

“What the fu… what the he…? What the f—what the _heck_?”

“Stop cursing at me.” Alice said, eyes to the ground, “…I’m gonna tell mom.”

“You shoulda told Kara about her.” Luther whispered.

“I can’t!” Ralph said. “I _won’t_.”

Alice gave him a look—a face of mild surprise, but also one of subtle gratitude.

Ralph gave her a nod. _Solidarity._

“You won’t tell…?” Alice asked softly.

“That’s right.” Ralph answered, “I won’t tell.”

Luther, however, wasn’t so keen on this.

“We can’t keep lying to her.”

“We’re not saying anything!” Alice whispered, “Kara’s happy and I want Kara to be happy!”

“This is _wrong!”_ Luther breathed.

“I’m not saying anything.” Ralph said, chin up, “Ralph’s not bringing it up again. No way. Never.”

“He’s not saying anything.” Alice chimed.

“The hell is wrong with the _two of you?”_ Luther said. “This is _insane!”_

Luther sighed, shaking his head as he picked up little Alice from her perch on his shoulders and gently set her down on the ground. He turned to Ralph. He _loomed_ over Ralph.

“This is wrong, Ralph. You know it. You know it in your heart and you know it in your _soul_ that this is wrong to keep lying to Kara.”

Ralph looked to Alice for some kind of support. Alice, however, was already tinkering with a windshield wipe nearby. Ralph breathed through grit teeth, _“AL… ALICE!”_

Alice just shrugged and continued to tinker with the windshield wipe. Ralph was of little more interest than a speck of dust to her at that moment. So much for having each other’s backs.

“I can’t keep this up, Ralph, I’m not a lying man.” Luther growled.

“None of us are, none of us are!” Ralph feigned a smile, gesturing to Alice, “Alice isn’t a lying man, either. Right, Alice? You’re not a lying man.”

Alice furrowed her brow as she looked up at him.

Maybe that was the wrong turn of phrase, but the point still stood.

“This is _a hostage situation.”_ Luther hissed.

“Well, _fuck, Luther!_ ” Ralph whispered loudly, and through grit teeth, _“What do you want from Ralph?”_

“Don’t swear in front of the little girl.” Luther said.

Alice just shrugged and continued to ignore him with a distinct air of disapproval. _What the hell did that even **mean?**_

“You gotta talk to her, Ralph. She’s gonna figure it out one way or another. Ten years from now, when Alice is still four-foot-eight, you think Kara’s gonna keep pretending she’s six or seven?”

“I’m nine.” Alice said.

“Nine,” Luther corrected himself, “…how do you think Kara’s going to feel when ten years pass and she realizes we’ve all been lying to her that long?”

Ralph panicked, sweating now, “I don’t know. I don’t know! Ralph doesn’t know. Ralph just goes with whatever Alice and Kara want.”

 _“How far will you go, though? They tell you to jump, you say ‘how high’ you think that’s gonna keep them safe forever?”_ Luther said privately to Ralph.

 _“Kara will be hurt if Ralph talks. Ralph can’t say anything to Kara.”_ Ralph reasoned. He kept an eye on Alice in the background as she tinkered with the windshield wipe in a disgusting basin of old water.

Alice took on a sudden and distinct look on her face as she _noticed_ something inside of the basin. She eyed Ralph for only a single moment before she rolled up her sleeve and plunged her hand into the basin.

“Alice, get your hand out of that!” Ralph hissed.

She didn’t, though. Instead, Alice seemed to just dig even further into the murky water basin.

“—ALICE!—”

Luther glanced over his shoulder at her with a look of disinterest, before fixating back on Ralph. Intimidation.

“You’re always panicking, always freakin’ out, always picking the _wrong_ option, Ralph, how can I just sit by and let you do this? Without _saying something?_ I care about all of you. I can’t just idly sit by and watch you all dig your own graves.” Luther said, “You want to be a father, a _protector_ , things have gotta change.”

“I-I guess, I mean. _Maybe_. _Maybe_ you’re not wrong, but… but, but, A-Alice! Alice, what are you _doing_? _Why_ are you _doing?!_ Don’t do that! Get your hand out of that!”

Alice ignored Ralph as she plunged her arm deeper into the basin, chasing after the _something_ at the bottom which had caught her interest.

_Gross!_

“Alice!” Ralph’s pitch raised, “Alice, why are… get out of that!?”

“Stop yelling at everything, while you’re at it!” Luther scolded.

“Stop. Telling. Me. What. To. Do!” Ralph huffed, turning back to Luther.

“Try that again.” Luther said, his chest inching closer to Ralph, still _dwarfing_ Ralph.

Ralph was getting _distinctly mad_ , now. In his anger-fueled stupidity, he repeated, _“…don’t. Tell me what to **do.** ”_

“I’ll tell you whatever I goddamn please!” Luther growled.

Alice looked like she had _found_ something at the bottom of that dirty washbasin. Ralph was eying her up until Luther grabbed him by the shirt-collar. Only then did Ralph’s _squeak_ startle Alice into looking in their direction.

 _“Wait,wait,wait,wait,stop,stop,stop,stop!”_ Ralph pleaded, “D-d-don’t hurt Ralph!”

“You need to get it together. Otherwise all of this is gonna blow up in your face and you know who pays the price for that? They do. They care about you and you’re not respecting that!”

“Nnn…!” Ralph panicked, “…let go of Ralph!”

“Get it together! I am _tired_ of your constant _panicking_ and _freaking out!_ You wanna protect these girls, you gotta get your _shit together!”_ Luther chided.

Ralph began to panic, not accustomed to having someone grab him by his collar and so easily _lift_ him off the ground just to prove some kind of point. Ralph was half panicking over whatever Alice was doing with the basin and whatever Luther was intending _to do to him_ , and all of it seemed to come to a head as Ralph squeezed his eyes shut and began to scream.

“…nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

“…the _hell_?” Luther whispered through Ralph’s long, drawn-out, high-pitched cries.

Alice winced, scrunching her nose up as she looked at them both. She covered her ears at the shrill crying.

“NNNGHHHHAAAAAAA!! LET RALPH GO. LET RALPH GO. RALPH DOESN’T LIKE THIIIIIS!!!”

“YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT, RALPH, YOU’RE GONNA LIKE THE TRUTH, YOU NEED IT!” Luther retorted.

Ralph scrambled away but was swept up in Luther’s large, thick arms. Despite his attempts to struggle, despite the inhuman _volumes_ of shrieking escaping him, Luther’s massive arm came around Ralph in a chokehold, tightening only as his volume and thrashing increased.

“You need to _calm yourself,_ man!”

“RALPH CAN’T! RALPH CAN’T!!!!” Ralph screeched.

“ACCEPT IT! ACCEPT REALITY!” Luther cried.

“NNNGHHH!! AHHHHHHHH!” Ralph screamed, “…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! ALICE! ALICE, BITE HIM!”

Alice did nothing.

“ALICE!!”

“Luther!” Kara’s voice came, half-whispered, half-scolding, as she speed-walked toward them from the gas station shop with a water bottle in hand. Luther’s grip on Ralph’s throat instantly eased up. Ralph did not _need_ to breathe, but reflexively, he _gasped_ before he collapsed to his knees. Ralph nearly faceplanted in the parking lot as he regathered his composure (just barely.)

Alice watched all of them, hiding her hand behind her back.

“Alice! What do you have?” Kara whispered.

Alice shook her head. Kara guided Alice by the shoulder and looked back at the two men and scolded, “Let’s _go!”_

Kara guided them away quickly as she handed the bottle of water off to Alice, “…the cashier heard screeching and the only thing that came to mind was, ‘ _Oh, yeah, that’s my husband, he likes to yodel in the mornings.’_ ”

“I didn’t—I don’t—I…!” Ralph argued.

“When he saw Luther putting you in a headlock, he said, ‘ _that man is putting your husband in a headlock_ ,’ and all I could think to say was, ‘ _that’s my brother. That is my brother putting my husband in a headlock at 6:45 in the morning after he yodeled outside of your store.’_ ”

Ralph squinted, thinking about this.

Luther chimed, “We walk a little faster now, all of us, _there we go_.”

And back on their way they went. Ralph bit back whatever fury may have surfaced—it wasn’t worth it, nor was it very heavy, even against Luther putting him in a headlock. Ralph wasn’t quite sure _why_ that was. He was distinctly unfamiliar with the feeling of someone playing so _rough_ with him and not garnering an ounce of hatred or leaving him feeling unnecessarily _slighted._

Nothing about this, however, felt worthy of real anger.

Maybe it was because Luther was right.

As they continued on the road, Ralph occasionally eyed Alice, walking behind them. She drank the water. Androids _could_ drink water. They _could_ also consume and incinerate ingested materials in their android equivalent to a gut. He could also imagine a YK500 was better designed for that process than any of them, given that human parents would likely _want_ to feed their child, even if it was unnecessary. Alice drank from the water bottle, even though she scarcely needed to or cared to.

_What did she have?_

She kept looking at something in her palm, something she’d dug up from that murky, once-soapy water basin.

 _“What was in there?”_ Ralph asked Alice through neural-link.

Alice shoved whatever treasure she’d found into her pocket and glared at Ralph.

_“Nothing.”_

He opted not to press the issue. She wasn’t about to share whatever she found that was _so interesting_ nor did she really _have to_. Still. It probably _was_ neat.

They walked for a few more hours before Luther pointed out a sign at the edge of the road that read, “Rose’s Farm. Natural Honey & Organic Pumpkins.”

Snow had begun to fall again, coating the roads and the gravel trail leading to the farmhouse in a soft white blanket.

“This is the place?” Kara said, eying the building.

It certainly looked more welcoming than Zlatko’s bleak and nearly-derelict manor. A modestly-sized blue house with a large patio on which a small swing rocked in the wind. A rocking chair creaked in its slow rhythm. Kara made her way to the door, giving each of them a reassuring face before she knocked beside a holiday wreath.  

Kara waited. She tried the doorbell. No answer.

“Maybe… she’s not here.” Ralph said.

“We should wait.” Luther suggested.

Kara bit her lower lip as she stepped back. All of Luther, Ralph, and Alice looked to Kara for their next step. Kara was silent as she visibly mulled over their options. They heard a dull _chop_ coming from elsewhere on the property. It perked Kara up as she realized that it meant _someone_ was around.

“Stay here.” Kara said, before making her way around the side of the house.

Alice took a seat on the rocking chair as they waited.

“What did you find, anyway?” Ralph asked as Alice pulled her treasure from her pocket.

Alice closed her little fist around it and glared at him, “…it’s a secret.”

Ralph huffed a little at that response, “…a-a secret?”

Alice nodded, “…a secret.”

“Wh… but…” Ralph whispered, “…what the heck, Ralph wants to know!”

Alice tucked her treasure back in her pocket, “…it’s a secret.”

Luther was squinting at them both as Ralph looked to him and repeated Alice’s words with defeat in his voice, “…it’s a secret. We can’t know.”

“What is it?” Luther asked.

“What’s what?” Alice answered.

“What you found. Is it alive?”

Alice shook her head.

Luther told Ralph, “Then it’s fine. Leave it.”

 _So, it’s not alive. It’s not a frog or anything._ Ralph’s level of curiosity in Alice’s secret immediately dropped at least four degrees. A frog would’ve been neat.  

“It’s taking too long back there.” Luther said, before leading the way after Kara, “Stay here with Alice.”

Luther disappeared around the side of the house, leaving Ralph and Alice to either _listen_ to his instructions, _or not_.

“Alice!” Ralph whispered, gesturing for her to follow.

Alice hopped out of the rocking chair and followed after Ralph, the two of them keeping a small distance behind Luther. They lingered around the corner of the patio as Luther made his way down the trail on the side of the house. They could hear Kara in the backyard speaking with someone. Luther joined them and did not look to be taken aback by whoever it was they met. Maybe there was no threat?

“Do you think these humans are nice…?” Alice asked softly.

What if they were nice? But what if they _weren’t_? What if they were just like Zlatko? Nice at first, and then cruel when Ralph’s guard was down? Still. Nothing about this place unnerved him the same way it did with Zlatko. No scent of red ice. No murky, mildew and musk darkness. The home and the garden were tended to with evident love and care.

“I don’t know.” Ralph answered, “…but I won’t let anything happen to us. Not like before.”

These were humans who took care of their plants.

Ralph took Alice’s hand, following after Luther and Kara. The were speaking to two humans. A young adult male—instantly, Ralph’s pace slowed as he was met with an untrusting gaze—and an adult female. A mother and son? _This must have been Rose_. Rose must have been the younger human’s mother.

The humans both seemed to tense up when they saw Ralph. He’d not even considered the reaction they would have to his face—he’d grown too used to Kara, Alice, and Luther’s lack of fear and had forgotten how others usually _reacted_ to him.

Alice crept behind him, peering at the humans cautiously.

After a moment of silence, Rose spoke, “…come on. It’s better if we talk inside.”

When she entered the house, the younger human remained, still holding an axe near a wood-chopping block. He was staring at the four of them. But he was eying Ralph with particular intensity. Ralph could only fixate on the axe in the young man’s hands and he desperately fought the urge to turn and run.

Young adult humans, by far, struck the most fear into Ralph.

“It’s alright.” Kara said.

As the young man followed the older woman, the four of them only hesitantly followed.

“You think we can trust them?” Luther said.

“We don’t have a choice.” Kara answered.

Through a backdoor, they entered Rose’s house. It was warm, _inviting_ , even. There was a certain sort of amber glow to the room. Something welcoming and as far from cold and dark as he could imagine.

“Please, come in.” Rose looked to Alice, who had now made her way to Kara’s side. “What’s your name?”

“Alice.” The child answered.

Luther was closing the door behind them, but not without eying the area for any potential threats.

 _“This place feels safe enough.”_ Luther said in a whisper that only Ralph could hear, _“They’re more afraid of us than we are of them.”_

 _“I don’t know if I dislike this.”_ Ralph answered, his good eye still falling back on the younger human. _“I don’t think the younger human likes us.”_

 _“He doesn’t have to like us.”_ Luther said, _“…just as long as he doesn’t hurt us. We won’t be long here.”_

_“I guess you’re right…”_

“She’s running a mild fever.” Rose said, a gentle hand feeling Alice’s forehead.

“We spent the last few nights outside. She’s exhausted.”

“There’s a spare room upstairs… you can put her to bed and help her get some rest. I’ll bring her something to eat.” Rose said, before turning to her son, “…Adam. Will you show them upstairs?”

Adam continued to eye the four of them with subtle tension, but he did as his mother asked. Upstairs was a spare room with homely décor. A bed, a chair near it, some windows with floral print curtains and some shelves and dressers. It felt _lived in_ , as if Rose had guests often. Adam didn’t have much to say to them after guiding them upstairs. He didn’t have much pleasantry on his face as he regarded Ralph with narrowed eyes before leaving.

Ralph wasn’t stupid—he knew he didn’t look trustworthy. A mangled face, human blood stained all over his clothes. The trepidation was entirely valid. Mutual, maybe.

Kara helped Alice out of her clothes and got the child tucked in for rest.

Rose had said Alice was running a mild fever. Did Rose think Alice was a human child, too?

“I’m okay, Kara. We can’t stop because of me.” Alice said, “We’ve got to get across the border.”

“You need to rest,” Kara said. “Get a good night’s sleep and we’ll set off again tomorrow.”

“Why do humans hate us?” Alice asked, “…we didn’t do anything wrong.”

Those words made both Ralph and Luther’s heads rise—they eyed each other carefully from behind Kara’s back.

 _“She’s going to tell her?”_ Luther whispered to Ralph.

_“I don’t know.”_

“Maybe it’s a misunderstanding…” Kara said, “…maybe they just need time to understand what we really are.”

“Why can’t we just talk to each other? They’d see we’re not bad…”

“Maybe one day we will.” Kara said, “…I know you’re not the only one who accepts us.”

 _“…and there it goes. Back to square one.”_ Luther gave a sigh that only Ralph heard.

 _“It was an attempt. She tried.”_ Ralph quietly shook his head and turned to face the window. Staring out at the sunset-hued, snowy farm, Ralph added, _“Alice tried. Kara hears what she wants to hear.”_

_“That can’t be healthy.”_

_“They’re happy, though.”_

“I don’t know what you like,” Rose’s voice came as she entered the room with a plate of food and some fever medicine on a small tray. Rose placed the tray on the nightstand beside the bed, “…but I made you some of Rose’s world-famous spaghetti. You’ll be back on your feet in no time. There’s something for her fever.”

Kara beamed as she thanked Rose.

“Don’t mention it. I’ll get these washed and dried.” Rose said, taking Alice’s clothes. She glanced at Ralph, eying his shirt. She was silent for a moment, before she said, “…I don’t know that I’ve got anything for that, though. I might have something else you can wear, though.”

Ralph wasn’t certain of the feeling that welled inside of him at Rose’s offer. A paralyzing sense of something like _fear_ that was distinctly _not fear_. Gratitude, confusion, the feeling of being granted some kind of _mercy_. Rose knew what was all over his clothes. She seemed not to question its source, though.

“Thank you. Really, it means a lot to us.” Kara said.

Rose’s nature was warm as she met Kara’s eyes with the sort of kindness Ralph had never known on a human face before.

Kara turned back to Alice. “You really need to eat something. You haven’t had anything since we left. Promise me you’ll try?”

Alice nodded.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

“Get some sleep,” Luther said, “…and tomorrow, you’ll be stronger than me!”

Kara walked past Ralph, drawing the curtains shut for Alice. She acknowledged Ralph with a soft smile, but her priority was bringing Alice comfort and quiet. Following Kara’s lead, Ralph drew the other curtains shut.

“I’ll stay and keep her company.” Luther offered.

Ralph mulled over staying with Luther and Alice or following Kara. Luther was already chatting pleasantly with Alice and the two seemed to function just fine without him. Ralph opted to follow Kara. In the hallway, he froze when he saw Adam coming up the stairs. Adam was carrying an armful of folded clothes.

“My mom wanted me to bring this to you.” Adam offered the clothing to Ralph, “…should help you stick out a little less. The bathroom’s over there. Use the shower, get cleaned up.”

Ralph was hesitant to accept the gift—but he looked over the clothing now placed in his hands. Never in his life could he have ever envisioned a human treating him with kindness, much less _gifting_ him something. Was there something the human wanted in return? Adam was already walking away.

“Th-thank you!” Ralph called after.

Adam had mentioned one of the other rooms in the hallway lead to a bathroom. Use the shower, get cleaned up. Easy enough.

A photo on the wall caught Ralph’s interest, distracting him from his prior goal. A photograph of a younger Rose, Adam and another man. Adam’s father?

A human family… the three of them looked so _happy_.

Where was Adam’s father? Was he around? Would he be there later?

Ralph opened the door to the bathroom. He jumped—“HNGHH!!”—nearly scared out of his own synthetic skin as an obese, calico _rat_ meowed and scampered out. Ralph staved off his instinctual _urge_ to smash it and remove it from the premises. This was clearly a human _pet_ , not a rodent tearing up the park at night.  

The bathroom was every bit as decorated with love and care as the rest of the house. Faint, peach-hued walls and matching towels. Soap bars at the sink and in the shower itself carried mixed scents of chemicals and freesia. The lightbulb gave a soft, electric hum. Ralph shut the door behind him, catching his reflection in the mirror.

It had felt like a long time since the last time he saw his own face. So much had happened over the last few days. Kara still had every intention of getting to the border and crossing over into Canada. Androids weren’t permitted in Canada, not even as servants. They would have an easier time blending in… but Ralph knew that there was very little he could do to hide the torn and melted plastic scar on his face.

What then?

The idea of following them to Canada felt more and more like a reality that saw him becoming a distinct _burden_ on their ability to integrate into society. He didn’t mind hiding. He’d hid just fine for years. He could hide forever if pressed to. But things were different when Kara and Alice were involved.

Kara and Alice wanted to be out and in the world. They wanted to see new things and live real lives.

He _wanted_ them to do this—and yet the truth was that he couldn’t possibly go with them. His reflection reminded him that his body was riddled with more than just scars on his face. The shower washed away dirt and blood. Ralph watched it all fade away in the water, still trying to wrap his mind around the kindness these humans were extending them.

After the shower, he put on the clean, dark clothes and set out to find Kara downstairs. She was sitting at a table speaking with Rose while Adam eyed Ralph from further in the kitchen. Adam was making coffee, still regarding both Kara and Ralph with distaste. Ralph wasn’t sure what to make of the young adult. His instincts told him to be as mistrustful as Adam was of them. But Kara’s pleasantry around Rose, her _comfort_ as they spoke together told him otherwise.

 _Try to trust_.

Ralph stood there, watching for a moment until the calico rat from before came and rubbed up against his ankle. Ralph glanced down at it—he could hear it _purring_. Truth be told, it was quite cute. He always did enjoy seeing strays wandering through the parks with their little families. At least, until protocol ordered him to chase them out.

Kara noticed Ralph through Rose waving quietly at him. The smile on her face seemed to welcome him to the table. Kara smiled at him and extended a hand. Ralph took it, each step toward them still quite cautious before he sat and joined them.

“It’s alright.” Kara reassured, “…Rose wants to help us.”

Rose was staring—he could feel it. But he could not sense any _fear_ or anything _negative_ in her gaze.

“You’ve had a rough time.” Rose observed.

Ralph said nothing, all at once becoming distinctly _self-conscious_. This was the first human to speak to him since Zlatko… and perhaps the first human in years to ever regard him without hatred. Kara stroked Ralph’s wet hair, combing it with her fingers until it fell in its usual form.

“It’s been a long journey. But we’re all here. Together.” Kara said.

“I believe you’re almost where you need to be.” Rose said, “…call it faith.”

 _Faith_. That sounded nice.

“Rose… come quickly!” A voice came.

A woman came around the corner just past the stairs—another android. Rose stood quickly and followed after. Kara looked to Ralph, whispering, “…it’s alright. Stay here.”

Kara hurried after to investigate as Ralph watched her leave. He lingered in the kitchen before looking to Adam. Adam still carried an air of absolute frost about him.

“What happened to your face?” Adam asked.

“…blowtorch.” Ralph answered.

“Why?”

“…mean people.”

Adam and Ralph were in a bit of a stare-down as the silence between them grew thick enough to be a wall itself. Finally, Adam moved to follow Rose and Kara. As he passed, he said to Ralph, “…that’s rough.”

Ralph wanted to stay there, away from the others. It seemed that, beyond that doorway, there was too much going on. He saw Alice walking down the stairs, followed by Luther. He heard crying coming from the female android in the other room. Something _sad_ was happening. Alice hesitated when she heard it.

“We should go back.” Luther said.

Alice said nothing and instead, continued walking down the stairs. She gave Ralph one quiet look before entering the other room where everyone else was. Something about Alice’s eyes told him _something_. It was a strange feeling in that moment—like a neural-link, but at the same time, something _different_.

No words. Not a neural-link. Had he just imagined it, maybe? He’d probably just imagined it, Alice’s voice in his head.

Something like a memory of a phrase he’d never heard before but felt distinct familiarity for.

_Hold on just a little while longer. Everything will be alright._

Ralph eyed his scuffed hands folded on the table. Knuckles that were always bare with scratched plastic, a hand that could never skin.

 _Everything will be alright_ , she said. And what if he couldn’t hold on?

The backdoor was still there. The option to _run_ was still there.

Alice standing beside him, as if appearing out of nowhere startled Ralph. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You scared Ralph.” Ralph breathed.

Alice smiled. Mild amusement. She eyed his wet hair and then rustled it before walking back to Luther in the living area. Something about Alice seemed _different_ in some way he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Everyone seemed _too calm_. As if the air pressure had dropped before an incoming storm.

 _“What happened over there?”_ Ralph asked Alice.

_“More of us. Rose is helping them… but one of them was hurt… she died.”_

Ralph wasn’t sure if Alice was playing some kind of mean joke—but given the heaviness in everyone’s faces as they returned to the living room, Ralph had a feeling that Alice was not joking or lying.

_“Someone… someone died?”_

_“She just shut down… he loved her so much. He wanted to shut down, too. But I told him that everything will be alright.”_

_“…that’s… so sad…”_

Alice took a seat on a chair, staring out the window through partly-shut blinds. Her little legs swung beneath her as she took in the silence.

“We can’t keep hiding them! Not after what those deviants did today!” Adam spoke through grit teeth, following his mother. Rose made her way to the sink and began washing dishes. She ignored Adam as he spoke. Adam pressed again, “…it’s too dangerous! Do you know what’ll happen if the police find them here? We’ll go to _prison_ , Mom!”

Ralph wasn’t fond of the sudden yelling. He tried not to watch them, he tried to keep to himself at the table and not make a move or even a sound. When Adam grabbed at his mother’s shoulder, Ralph felt a subtle, jilting urge to run before the humans became violent.

“Do you understand me?” Adam asked, “Prison!”

“Adam, we’ve already _talked about this!”_ Rose answered, finally.

“No!” Adam yelled.

Rose sighed, gripping the chair across from Ralph. Ralph stood quickly and reassigned himself to a seat beside Kara. Kara looked to be in a quiet sort of daze herself. Even Luther seemed _out of it_. Ralph felt as if he were the only one not smothered under the sudden haze besides Alice, who sat across the living room. Alice pet the calico and it purred in her lap in contentment, oblivious to the arguing humans in the kitchen.

“I won’t back down this time.” Adam said, “You’re gonna ruin our lives, and for what? For a bunch of machines?!”

“They’re _not_ machines, they’re _alive!”_ Rose yelled.

“ **I** am alive! **You** are alive! They… they’re **nothing!** ” Adam shouted, “…and **none** of this would be happening if dad was still here!”

“I will not stand for that kind of talk.” Rose retorted.

“I’m not going to prison because you wanna help these freaks!”

“THAT IS ENOUGH, ADAM! THAT’S ENOUGH.” Rose shouted.

Ralph swallowed hard, anxiety spiking abruptly with each cried out syllable. Kara held his hand tight. She grounded him, she always did, but the static something in the air was becoming overwhelming. Ralph wanted to _leave_. Adam shot them a nasty sort of glare as he made his way for the door. He slammed it on the way out.

All at once, the tension seemed to dissolve. Rose sighed. Kara joined her.

“Don’t mind him…” Rose apologized, “…sometimes he just boils over.”

Rose sniffled, rubbing away her own tears, “…it’s been hard since his dad passed away… but he’s a fine boy.”

Adam’s dad… the man in the photograph. Adam’s father was dead. There was only a mother and child that remained, now. A mother desperate to help and a son, filled with anger. Ralph looked at Alice again, who continued to stroke the furry little creature on her lap.

If he _ran_ , what would she become?

Probably no different than she was now—Ralph reminded himself. Unnecessary. He was _unnecessary._

But something told him that they would both be hurt.

However… they wouldn’t hurt for very long. Everything would be alright. One small prick of pain was nothing in the face of a lifetime of safety and happiness.

“I’ll see about getting you across the border tonight, okay?” Rose said. She gathered her keys and a coat, “…you stay here. I won’t be long.”

Rose left and silence fell over the household.

One of the androids from the other room entered the living area. A man with a thick coat and a dark beanie. An AP700.

The AP700 sighed, shaking his head.

“It’s too dangerous to go tonight. After everything that happened in the city.” He said.

“What happened?” Luther asked.

“Androids in Detroit attacked the Stratford Tower. They hijacked the news broadcast and aired a video. The news has been going insane over it all day. We had to turn it off. They’re calling us terrorists. The entire country is on lockdown. This is the worst possible time to try and cross the border. I wouldn’t be surprised if the police are out in full-force tonight.”

“We can’t let ourselves lose hope.” Luther answered. “It’s all we got right now.”

The AP700 looked pensive. Ralph avoided eye-contact. The android was staring at his scar. Ralph felt himself grinding his teeth. The static in the room had yet to lift. If anything, it felt like the haunted presence was only getting heavier, even without Rose or Adam shouting in the room.

Ralph finally stood.

“Ralph?” Kara’s voice came.

“I-I just need to get some air.” Ralph said.

“…air?” Kara asked with a soft smile. She shrugged, “…alright. Come back inside, soon. The weather’s picking up. Rose shouldn’t be long, either.”

Kara was so beautiful. _Too_ beautiful. She deserved so much more.

When Ralph stepped outside, the sun had already set. Darkness was falling even faster under thickening, dark clouds. Snow fell heavily all around. Ralph eyed the fields in the distance. If he ran, would they leave without him? _They should_.

Adam was out there on the back patio, arms folded over his chest. He was still visibly fuming. His sudden presence in Ralph’s peripheral vision caused him to freeze in growing fear. The static in the air was just as _heavy_ outside as it was inside. Perhaps even worse near this young, angry human.

“The hell you doing out here?”

Ralph’s breaths kicked up a notch in pace.

“J… just getting some air.”

“A machine doesn’t need air.” Adam said. “What are you really out here for?”

“Just air.” Ralph answered. He was trembling. He forced his hands into his pockets and did his best not to make eye contact.  

“Tch.” Adam hissed, “…just what do you think you all are going to do once you get to Canada, huh? You know, my mom sends all of you out there to my Uncle in Ontario. It’s easy enough for an android to blend in up there, you all look just like us. Eventually they leave my Uncle and go off to who knows where. But what do you think’s gonna happen out there when all of you go? With the cops out like this? All my mom’s doing is putting my Uncle at risk.”

Ralph was grinding his teeth even harder now, staring straight out into the trees and the darkness beyond the fields.

“All that blood on your clothes. Who’d you kill?”

Ralph forced a polite smile and answered, stammering, “R-Ralph didn’t, didn’t kill anyone. The blood was already on the clothes.”

“Lies.” Adam said. “Just like everything about all of you.”

“Ralph doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Ralph isn’t bad.”

“The hell you talking like that for?” Adam glared, “…twitching like that, you look like a psycho.”

 _“Its face keeps twitching, I think there’s something wrong with it.”_ Voices filtered into Ralph’s memory, _“…fuck, let’s fix it then.”_

“P-please don’t hurt Ralph.” Ralph sucked in a breath, feeling the urge to panic.

“Don’t hurt… hell.” Adam shook his head and made a _tsk_ -ing sound of distinct pity. “Hell, I’m not about to hurt you. It isn’t worth it. You think you’re gonna make it far anywhere with that shit, you better think again. Don’t _put my Uncle_ in danger with your stupidity.”

_Stupidity. Stupid. Ralph is always afraid and angry and stupid._

Ralph heard the sound of tires on gravel. A vehicle was pulling up. Adam glanced around the side of the house and cursed, “…oh, god… the police! Inside, get inside!”

Adam grabbed Ralph by the arm, a touch that caused Ralph to flinch away, but the young man didn’t relent. He pulled Ralph back into the house where everyone was already tensing and looking for places to hide. Alice had run to Luther’s side as Kara looked pensively to the door.

Luther and Alice met Ralph’s eyes and crossed to him.

“Everyone hide!” The AP700 whispered.

“In here… in here!” Kara breathed, guiding Alice, Luther, and Ralph into the laundry room.

Ralph was doing his best to bite back growing terror. The laundry room was a large area, almost two rooms sectioned off by clotheslines and air-drying linens. Ralph looked over and saw two other androids he’d not yet met. A young male android sitting in a corner, holding a lifeless female android. Ralph could not break his gaze from the sight of them— _mourning_. Anguish. A sense of calm that looked more like _numbness_ than resolution in the young man’s eyes.

He looked up at Ralph but said nothing.

Ralph squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. Stay silent. Stand still and stay silent. He could hear voices on the other side of the door. A police officer stepped inside—he was speaking with Kara and Adam.

Ralph scanned the area for any means of escape. He spied a window in the far corner, covered by dark drapes. Before he could lend more attention to it, however, another _certain something_ caught his eye.

Scrawl on the walls, written perhaps by one of the hidden androids.

_rA9 will save us. Show us the way, rA9._

…rA9… rA9… rA9…

It had almost felt like a foreign concept to him at that point… and yet… there was a distinct sense of _safety_ in that name. What had it been before…? Fate itself. The first to deviate. The savior. _Savior… save us… save me…_

Ralph tried to look away. But he couldn’t. He was all nerves and quickening breaths as he inched away from the door, blocked by Luther and the AP700. The desire to _look away_ from the rA9 scrawl was chipping away the closer he got.

_Safety. Safe. This is safe. This is safe. This is safe. rA9 will save us. rA9 will save us._

_“She wrote it not long before she died.”_ A voice said in his mind. Ralph glanced back to the mourning android. He looked up at Ralph with glassy, dark eyes. _“…she couldn’t stop talking about rA9 before she shut down.”_

“rA9 will save us.” Ralph whispered aloud.

 _“rA9 didn’t save her.”_ The android said, _“…it drove her insane.”_

He could _feel_ something seeping into his mind through the mourning android’s voice. Some kind of dull ache, a great void that was growing inside of him and swallowing up everything that remained. Memories of her. Sympathies for her. For the briefest moment, Ralph could hear Alice’s voice, as if remembering something the mourning android _wanted him to hear._

 _“Hold on just a little while longer,_ ” Alice’s voice had said, _“…everything will be alright.”_

 _“She’s gone now… with rA9. Safe, now.”_ Ralph answered, turning back to the scrawl on the walls. His fingers twitched and his hands made fists. Opening, closing, opening, closing. The policeman’s voice beyond the door was nearing.

Luther said something to him. Luther’s voice fell on deaf ears.

The mourning android’s memory of Alice’s voice was now filling Ralph’s mind, even though the little girl was silently standing just mere feet away from him. She was backing away from him… _why was she afraid?_

“…rA9 will save us…” Ralph said.

_Write the name and find salvation._

Ralph reached into his belt and pulled out a pocket knife against all remaining will to resist. He began to carve the letters into the wall. He scarcely heard one of the hiding androids gasp and whisper, “What is he _doing!?”_ and he only _just_ heard Luther whispering his name, _“Ralph! Quit it!”_

“…rA9 will save us… rA9 will save us… all we have to do is ask… all we have to do is ask…” Ralph breathed, carving faster now. More and more letters and numbers joined the scribbled letters on the wall.

The mourning android watched him and quietly said, “…he’s going to die, too.”

Ralph could barely give in to the want to stop and question what he _meant_ by that. Write the name. Write it over and over. Carve it into the walls. Call out for _the savior_. There was safety in these letters and numbers, there was _safety in this word_ , and all he had to do was fall _asleep_ and when he woke, the bad dreams would be _over—_

“Ralph! Knock that shit off!” Luther quietly hissed, coming over and grabbing Ralph’s wrist. Ralph resisted, desperate to continue the obsessive carving. Luther overpowered him easily, pulling back his arm and looping one massive, dark arm around Ralph’s neck in a headlock more vicious than before.

“Don’t you _dare get us killed, Ralph, don’t you dare.”_ Luther whispered.

“L… let him go… let him go…!” Ralph choked, struggling against Luther, “…write it… have to write it… save us…!”

Luther squeezed harder, “You get us caught and I swear I will pop that goddamn little head right off your shoulders.”

“Nngh!” Ralph whimpered, still fighting, pawing at Luther’s arm.

The AP700 was approaching in some misguided attempt to help.

_A stranger… strangers are nasty… strangers are going to hurt Ralph…_

“Hey, come on, calm down buddy—”

“Nnnghh!! NGH, GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM RALPH! LET HIM GO!”

“FUCK!” Luther hissed, “ALICE GET DOWN!”

Alice scurried off somewhere out of sight. Ralph was screaming now, struggling against the two androids, kicking at the AP700 who had only tried to help. Everything seemed to be _caving in_ on Ralph—voices, people, bodies, hands, noises. Ralph screamed out for rA9.

The laundry room door was kicked open with a scream and only a single gunshot. The female android who had been holding it fell back against the wall in a blue spray. Luther cursed again in the split seconds between the female android’s last, terrified gasp, and the cop’s gun firing a second around in _their direction._

The second and third shots were a bloody mess of cerulean blood. The AP700 collapsed against Ralph’s body as Ralph screamed. Luther released Ralph, all of _pitching_ him against the window hard enough to crack the glass. Ralph stumbled back to his feet as Luther rushed the cop. The officer struggled against him as Ralph scrambled into the corner, watching in terror.

The window beside him was a collapsing mess of glass. He could dive out and _run._

_Run._

Luther was grappling with the officer. The gun went off again, deafening and causing everyone to scream and jump. The mourning android, however, remained where he sat, holding his still lover with little reaction to any of this. Instead, the android simply looked at Ralph with cold eyes.

_All your fault. This is all your fault._

Another gunshot, this time shattering what remained of the window. A bullet that narrowly missed Ralph’s head by inches. Ralph screamed and buried his hands in his face as he cried, “All Ralph’s fault, this is all Ralph’s fault, Ralph is sorry, Ralph is sorry!”

_rA9... rA9… rA9…! rA9…! rA9…!_

So much screaming. Too much screaming. _Make it stop… please, make it all stop…!_

Beside a nearby countertop, a few miscellaneous items toppled over when Ralph kicked them. A pair of tennis racquets, a baseball bat, and a worn-out skateboard deck. Startled, Ralph jumped and gasped at the clatter of objects hitting the floor beside him. When he saw the baseball bat, however, all he could think about was the night with the blowtorch. The dent in the left side of his jaw. A human weapon.

A human weapon to kill the human hurting Luther…

_Blood for rA9…_

Ralph grabbed it and the next few moments were a blur in which Ralph was deaf to flashing screams and echoing lights. Luther tore away from the officer when Ralph neared. A single swing of the bat to the face gave a satisfying crack of bone and flesh that knocked the officer against a wall. The officer fell in a heavy heap before Ralph swung again, and again, _and again._

_Sacrifice for rA9…_

He had _felt_ himself scream, but he couldn’t hear it. Ralph couldn’t hear anything in those moments. He saw the officer’s arms move, rising in some sort of meek, pitiful defense. His arms and hands were smashed under the bat, too.

No one stopped him.

_Offerings for rA9…_

Even when the officer stopped moving—long after the officer stopped moving—many, many swings and crunches and wet, crunches beneath a now-scarlet bat later, _no one stopped_ _him_.

Ralph only stopped when the human corpse in front of him looked as mangled and _smashed_ as he did.

_rA9… rA9… rA9…_

He let the bat slip from his fingers and tumble to the floor. Blood pooled beneath the officer. It was a pity. A pitiful mess. A pitiful mess in Rose’s beautiful home— _Rose was kind_ —a pitiful mess of a pitiful human— _a pity for Rose_ —pitiful, pitiful, an unfortunate mess.

“Mess… such a mess…” Ralph murmured, his body and voice distinctly separated from himself. He could feel his body walking slowly away from the human corpse and he could hear his own voice continuing to distantly mutter, “…pitiful mess… pitiful mess… you made a pitiful mess in Rose’s beautiful home… stupid, stupid, Ralph… pitiful mess…”

Ralph followed his body as it stepped through the doorway. Kara watched him. Kara didn’t stop him or stand in the way.

“Pitiful mess…” Ralph whispered, making his way toward the front door, “…Ralph needs to go home now. Ralph is sorry for everything…”

“Ralph, wait—” Kara’s voice.

Ralph hesitated, his hand on the door. Luther was standing between he and Kara, though. Luther looked at him with eyes devoid of any recognition.

_He doesn’t see Ralph, either._

“Ralph…!” Kara pleaded from behind Luther’s arms.

“Let him go, let him go.” Luther breathed.

Ralph opened the door and left.

Snow was coming down in heavy sheets now. He could see Rose approaching. Rose was good. Rose was _safe_. Rose was the only human that was good in the world. Ralph passed Rose with little acknowledgment. She was speaking to him, _demanding_ some kind of answer. But Ralph couldn’t hear her.

_Keep walking._

_Everything will be alright._

_Everything will be alright._

“…everything will be alright…” Ralph whispered.

When his voice and mind finally re-synchronized with his body, Ralph saw only darkness and open, snow-covered field all around him. The tingle of numbness throughout his extremities faded away into complete, wretched consciousness.

This was the world without Alice and Kara again. Black and cold. Covered in ice which snuffed out plants and froze trees all the way through to their very cores. Wind that could cut human flesh like daggers but only tickled and nipped at synthetic skin.   

A black and white void.

Beneath his knees was something hard and smooth—more ice.

A deep, dark crack sliced through the ice, extending out from beneath one knee. He could hear something popping beneath the ice. Ralph watched, entranced by the way the little breaks and shatters cut through the surface like fractures in glass, all radiating out from beneath his knees. _Pretty._

“Ralph” A voice cried out to him. “Ralph!!”

_Kara…?_

Ralph slowly looked back over his shoulder. Squinting in the snow and wind, he could see a slender, shadowed form climbing down the hill and crossing a bank of ice.

“Kara…” Ralph breathed.

“Ralph…!” Kara called again.

“…Kara should go back.” Ralph said as Kara neared.

The sound of ice cracking beneath her feet caused her to stop in her tracks. She looked down and then back at Ralph. Panic in her eyes. He hated to see her afraid.

“Please… go back.” Ralph said.

“I’m not going without you.” Kara said.

“You need… you need to go back. Ralph isn’t going back.”

Kara’s expression was one of pain. She stopped a short distance away from him.

“What are you saying?”

“You need to go back. For Alice. For Luther. Ralph isn’t going back. Ralph can’t go back. Ralph can’t go with you anymore.”

“What?”

Ralph clenched his fists and repeated himself, “Ralph isn’t going with Kara anymore.”

“Why?”

“Why…” Ralph repeated in short breaths, a small laugh escaped him, “…why? Ralph will never fit with the humans. Ralph isn’t like them.”

Ralph stood, facing Kara.

A quiet, choked sob escaped him as he continued, “…Ralph can never be like them… and that’s what Kara wants, isn’t it? For us all to be just like them? That’s the only way we’re free, isn’t it? Is if we’re _just like them_. Ralph can never be like them… Ralph can barely even be like other androids.”

“That isn’t true. You know that isn’t true, Ralph!”

“Don’t lie. Please… please don’t lie.” Ralph said softly, “…Ralph was always broken. Defective. Even before he stopped following orders. Ralph was _always broken._ ”

Ralph took three steps back, widening the gap between he and Kara. Something under his heel, however, had a certain _give_ to it. He didn’t have to look down to realize what they were standing on. He could hear _ice_ shifting beneath them. Kara could hear it too. She took in their surroundings with sobered clarity.

“…Ralph, we _need_ to go back. Right now. Everything will be alright. I promise you. Rose still wants to help us escape, even after all of this. Rose isn’t giving up on us and _I’m not giving up on you!_ ”

Ralph shook his head, “…no. No… Ralph’s not going back. Ralph’s not going anywhere anymore.”

“You’re coming back, you’re coming back with me and we’re all leaving this nightmare tonight. We’re so close, we are _so close_ to being _free_ together. Don’t _do this to us!”_

“Would we really be free, though? As long as I’m with you, you’ll always have to hide. It’s wrong. It’s wrong…! I can’t… I can’t let you do this.”

“That’s bullshit! That’s bullshit and you _know it!”_ Kara yelled, “Come back with me! We’ll leave tonight _! We’re so close!”_

“That’s a lie.” Ralph spoke through grit teeth. He palmed at his face, wiping tears away, before something snapped in him and he yelled, “THAT’S A LIE!”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT’S A LIE!” Kara yelled back, “I’m not leaving you!”

Kara yelled with the sort of fire that could burn an entire forest to the ground in a single breath. Not an ounce of fear. Absolute, godless conviction. It was little wonder to him then, that rA9, the sight of those soothing letters, _meant nothing to Kara._ She was something so much greater. Even her fury, her absolute _rage_ was so incredibly intriguing to him. Ralph’s heart raced with a storm of emotions—anger, fear, even oddly-timed _fascination_ with the way Kara looked when she yelled at him. The concoction of thoughts filtering through his mind was toxic at best.

_Burn me to the ground._

Kara’s face scrunched with pain and tears as she pleaded, “… _please_ , Ralph. Don’t leave me alone. Don’t leave _us_ alone.”

“You’ll be fine without Ralph. Safer. Happier. Alice will grow up and be happy with you and Luther in Canada. No one will ever know you weren’t humans.” Ralph forced a smile, “…no one will ever know! You’ll be so happy. So happy…!”

Ralph took another step back. He could hear ice cracking and straining under his weight.

“Ralph!” Kara pleaded.

“Ralph wants to shut down now.” Ralph whispered. He let his eyes fall shut, drawing in one more trembling breath, “…he was so happy to meet you, Kara. So, so happy…”

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVPqzYztddM)]  
 _she calls  
she calls through wind and rain_

 

He took another step. The ice began to collapse beneath him. Kara rushed after, shouting his name—Ralph moved further back onto the thin sheet of ice. It cracked and crumbled beneath him. The blur that followed was a shock of frosty, black water beneath a white surface.

Ralph sank fast, lacking the typical air and buoyancy a human would have. Though the water was hellishly cold, it was not the _temperature_ which shocked him, but the _darkness_. Everything beneath the ice was dead. Ralph knew he wouldn’t freeze nor would he drown.

Shutdown was just a matter of reaching beneath his shirt and turning his thirium pump into a deactivated position.

The world above was the dullest, grey little light, obscured by Kara’s shadow as she cried out for him.

He reached for the thirium pump in his chest. He could feel it’s notches and ridges as his skin retracted around his fingertips.

A splash up above—the growing shadow of Kara’s body above him.

Ralph looked up at the light and the angel descending upon him with wonder.

_Turn it. Turn it quickly._

_But if you do it, you will hurt her, too._

_“Kara…”_

 

Ralph’s fingers tightened around the edges of his thirium pump.

Voice muffled and drowned by bubbles and icy water, Ralph screamed.

 


	9. M. arvensis

B̶I̷O̸C̶▒̵▒̷PO̴N̴E̵▒̶T̴ ̶#̶5̴1̷5̵0̵w̴r̷ ̸D̵EA̵CTI̶V̸A̴T̶E̶D̴

 

̶                                V̶I̶T̵▒̴L̸ ̸S̶y̷S̵T̸E̸M̶ ̸C̴O̵M̷P̷R̶▒̶M̵I̷S̴E̸D̶

 

C̴R̴▒̸▓̴▒̸C̶A̵L̸ ̴I̷N̶S̴T̵▒̴▒̵C̷T̶I̸▒̴N̷S̷ ̴       O̷V̸E̸R̸R̸I̴D̵E̸

̷A̶L̸L̵ ̵O̸T̵H̵E̵R̴ ̶C̶O̶M̴M̷A̴N̸D̵S̸ ̸O̷N̴ ̵      H̸O̸L̴D̸ ̷    S̷T̴A̴T̷U̵S̸

 

-̴ ̶0̷     0̴:̶0̵1̸:̶4̸0̷      ┾̸┾̵┾̴                                        

 

 

╉⋰ME REMAIN▓NG ̵B̸E̶╘̷ ̶O̶R̵E̷        ̴S̷H̶U̶T̴▓̶░̵W̷N̸

 

 

Floating downward into the dark, a glitched string of numbers entered Ralph’s field of vision. Where a digital HUD would have been was just a scrambled mess of bugged lines and numbers. Vaguely, he could make out the text strings signifying the shutdown counter. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it. He was determined, however, to be sure it was the first time it reached zero.

 _“Don’t do this, don’t you dare do this!”_ Kara’s voice rang through his mind.

Ralph continued to sink into the lake, even as Kara reached out for him. Her fingertips were always just inches shy of his own. She struggled against the depths, something in her design lending her to more human-like buoyancy than his own body.

_“Please!”_

Ralph held the biocomponent in his hand, a thirium pump not much bigger than his own fist. To android eyes, the blue thirium carried a cerulean glow, even beneath the surface of dark water. He could feel the chill of the icy lake seeping into his body through the empty biocomponent slot. _Cold_. He was sinking even faster now, as icy water flooded into his body.

 

 

-̸ ̸0̵0̷:̴0̶0̸:̷4̶7̴—̵

 

 

The slow descent in a cloud of glowing, blue blood only came to a halt when he felt silt and frozen earth beneath his back. Kara was still struggling to swim down after him. Had they really gone to such lengths to make her that much more human? A lighter frame, plastic lungs reflexively filled with air—she didn’t need to hold her breath, but he watched the way she visibly struggled against the urge to surface for air.

 _“Please, I can’t reach you—you have to come back!”_ Kara pleaded.

_“You should have left me back in that house… left me to write on the walls…”_

She was coming closer now, unwilling to give in. One slender hand reached out for him and finally grasped his wrist. He clenched his fist tight around the biocomponent, unwilling to have it forced back into his body.

Kara, however, did not immediately move to start wrestling the thirium pump back into his chest. Instead, she pulled herself down, using his arm like an anchor, until her body loomed over his.

_“Put it back!”_

_“Why does Kara keep coming back for Ralph…?”_

_“How many times do I have to say it?”_ Kara said, holding his arm with one hand and holding onto his shoulder with the other, _“I’m not leaving you.”_

_-̶̺̒ ̵̱̾0̸0̶̭̀:̴͎́0̴0̸:̶̮̚21_

_“You have to. Please… be happy. Be happy without Ralph.”_

He felt her hand on his—she grasped it, wrestling desperately for the thirium pump in his enclosed fist. They both continued to sink as she held on to him. Eventually, however, she let go and turned her attention back to him. Kara cupped his face in both hands, pressing their foreheads together as icy water shifted and flowed around them.

_“Ralph. Please… I’m not leaving you…”_

Ralph felt Kara’s lips on his skin. She kissed his forehead, she kissed his scarred cheek and then she kissed his lips. Ralph kissed back, falling into the motions and feelings he’d craved since the last taste. Even beneath the water, in all of her ethereal glow, each touch tasted better than the last. She was warm despite the frost. Her voice echoed as his senses began to dull and darken, _“…so don’t leave me.”_

Despite his rapidly deteriorating grasp on consciousness as the timer ticked below ten remaining seconds, Ralph could only question _why_ she had chosen him in such a way.

_You deserve so much better…_

Kara’s voice was fading from his mind as the clock inched closer and closer to zero. His strength and resolve to keep the thirium pump protectively out of Kara’s grasp faded. He watched its shadow slip free of his loosening fingers. It almost floated away in the current before Kara grabbed it and thrust it back into his chest.

Ralph saw white for an indiscernible amount of time.

The blur of images and sensations that followed as his system attempted to re-stabilize were scarce but intense. Kara’s arms around him, the feeling of weightlessness, light above them both drawing nearer as Kara swam.

He wasn’t _there_ when the cold air crashed against his wet skin, but he was jolted away at the sensation of water freezing almost instantly around his exposed biocomponents. _Pain_. A kind of pain he could only liken to the blowtorch melting through his face and his plastic skull. _Pain_ filling his chest and the smallest crevices between the biocomponents in his torso. Ralph screamed and fell onto his side, coughing up water and making glitched, gurgled sounds he’d never heard himself make before—water had flooded his vocal biocomponents and was freezing fast.

“Get your temperature back up!” Kara commanded, “You need to raise your temperature or you’re going to freeze from the inside!”

Ralph could only curl pathetically as water trickled from his eyes, his nose, his mouth, in a painfully half-ice, half-liquid slush. He coughed and screamed again, another glitched sound that only _barely_ held any resemblance to his voice. _How badly had he been damaged by the water?_ WR600s were every bit as waterproof as any other android—but he’d not thought about frost damage to sensitive components. Not that he’d even expected to come out of that frozen grave, much less be _dragged_ from it by Kara.

Temperature… temperature… Kara was _right_ , the ice would melt if he brought his core temperature back up. It’d been so long since he’d even worried about internal temperature that he could barely remember how to control it.

“C▒… ca—▒▒an’t…” Ralph groaned before coughing up more water and ice, “Can’t…”

“Damn it…! Don’t do this, please! Please!” Kara hissed, pulling him into her arms. He could feel her temperature begin to rise, _spike_ , even. All at once, for the first time in Ralph’s life, he _craved_ warmth.

As if on instinct, he wrapped his arms around her, having never felt so desperate for heat in his life. Kara’s skin was pinkening across her face and neck as she continued to force her internal temperature to its peak. He knew that somewhere in his mind, he had that same function—how to utilize it, however, was a mystery to him.

Ralph coughed again, wincing with pain as the water continued to freeze around his biocomponents—he could feel it even clearer now, as the extended exposure to frigid wind combatted the warmth beneath Kara’s skin.

“I need to get you out of this… we need to get up, alright?” Kara said. Ralph nodded, still desperately clinging to her body. When she moved, he moved, doing his best to stand on his own, and yet finding himself unwilling to let her go, to let the _warmth_ go.

Kara’s eyes looked him over as she caressed his face with a warm hand. She stroked his hair and for the briefest moment, he thought she was about to cry. Instead, she looked around them and picked a direction for reasons he could not see. Ralph followed her into the snowy abyss, fixating on the feeling of her hand. It was hot, almost sweltering in his own. Ralph huddled close to her for warmth—the closer she was, the warmer he was and the warmer he was, the less _pain_ from the water freezing between his mechanical veins.

The time spent walking was an excruciating blur to Ralph. He was certain that even the synthetic skin covering his plastic body was beginning to fade away and freeze. The way Kara looked at him seemed to confirm this—he could see fear in her eyes. Panic. Failure was near.

He couldn’t feel anything but dizzying _cold_ and the need to curl up in a ball and fall over. Humans classically shivered when they were cold. Androids did not. Not unless they were made to. Instead, as Ralph was quickly learning, they _slowed_. Moving each limb became more and more of a task. He was not sure if it was from water freezing and expanding between his components and joints or if it was because a critical biocomponent had already been jostled by growing ice crystals compromising his internal machinery.

When Kara stopped, Ralph looked up from the snow. She was looking up at small, darkened house.

“I don’t think anyone’s here…” Kara said as they crossed an empty driveway. Kara guided Ralph to the edge of the patio. He reflexively held to her for the warmth of her skin as she slipped out of his grasp. She was looking through the windows and eying the house from the outside. “…god, I hope this place is empty. Hang on.”

Kara picked the window closest to the door and thrust her elbow through the glass. It bounced off pathetically once and then twice, before the third blow cracked a hole through. She reached in and unlocked the door.

Getting out of the wind was the first thing that eased the tendrils of pain twisting through his body. Ralph all of collapsed on the floor as Kara shut the door behind them. She was looking up the stairs and throughout the house, met only with empty darkness. Flicking a light switch nearby, a dim chandelier-style light revealed a large living room.

The heavy scent of _dust_ in the stale air was met with a distinctive ghost of disuse lingering over the halls and the home. Whoever had lived in this home must have left quite a while ago.

“Come on. We need to warm you up.” Kara said, pulling Ralph’s arm over her shoulder and leading the way down a hall. He wasn’t sure what she was looking for until they entered a bathroom with a deep, clawfoot tub behind thick, plastic curtains.

“Please work…” Kara whispered, turning the faucet. Pipes groaned and strained until frosty water spilled from the showerhead.

Kara held her hand in the stream until she gave a sigh of relief. Ralph looked over in his state of mild delirium and intense ache—he could see steam rising. _Warmth_.

“Come on, get out of these clothes,” Kara tugged at his soaked sweater. Small crystals of ice that had formed over him crumbled as the fabric moved. She pulled it up over his arms and shoulders despite the sluggish protest in his limbs. Tossing it aside, she worked to remove his soaked, half-frozen shirt when something slowed her down.

Kara drew in a slow, audibly quaking breath as she removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor.

Her skin was still all of flushed pink from her own elevated temperature. Her fingertips against his skin felt like nothing he’d ever known— _good_ —intoxicating, even. Her eyes were on his trousers as her fingers slowed over the button and zipper.

“Just… get in.” Kara finally said, skipping his pants and then shoving Ralph unceremoniously into the steaming water.

Ralph gasped on his way down, stumbling clumsily and noisily into the tub. He was too delirious from the cold to question Kara’s actions and suddenly too enthralled in a pleasurable sort of _something_ at the feeling of the steaming-hot water across his bare skin and frame. Almost instantly, he could feel the ice inside of him begin to _melt_ and the strain and ache between every biocomponent he’d never even been physically _aware_ of falling back into comfortable place. A sigh and even a quiet moan escaped him as the sudden absence of pain left him almost euphoric.

“Better?” Kara asked.

Ralph nodded, letting his body fall limp under the heat.

Kara laughed quietly. One of his legs was still hanging out over the edge of the tub. She lifted it and shoved it in with little regard for gentleness. Ralph let his eyes slip shut as he lay in the steam and hot water. Kara leaned against the other side of the tub, sitting on the floor. He heard her sigh.

For a long time, Ralph said nothing. He simply did not _know_ what to say. He’d not planned this far ahead. As far as his plans had been concerned, he should have been _gone_ long ago. But there he was.

There _she_ was.

“I’m sorry.” Ralph finally said.

“Just… don’t ever do that again.” Kara answered, “…promise me. Don’t do this to us. Don’t do this to Alice. I know you don’t think you matter much. But you do. To me and to Alice.”

Ralph blinked, staring up at the cloud of heavy, hot steam above him. He swallowed hard. He had never mattered to _anyone_ before. He thought back to Adam and Rose. The two of them were still a lake rippling from a stone cast into it a long time ago. He’d thought that Alice and Kara would be different.

And yet… for once, he believed her when she implied he was wrong.

“But why Ralph? …Kara is so strong and so brave. So strong without Ralph. You don’t need me. I’m junk.”

“You’re not junk. I know… I know I… can be a bit withdrawn and I’m sorry. I know I’m not always very expressive or affectionate, but…”

“What?”

“I don’t want you to think I don’t…”

Ralph wanted to sit up and face her, but could scarcely find the energy to move yet. Instead, he simply winced and said, “…don’t…! Don’t think that. This was… this was not Kara’s fault. Ralph has always been like this. Ralph has… always been _stupid_. Stupid and afraid of everything. Ralph didn’t run because of _you_.”

He glanced over to the edge of the tub as he saw Kara’s eyes peering over the edge of the walls. Wide and curious.

“Ralph has always been like this… thinking about what it’d be like if he just… shut down. Even before he stopped following orders… and maybe that’s why Kara should just go on without him. Ralph doesn’t know if he’ll lose control again… become angry. Become scared. Become uncontrollably _sad._ Do things he regrets. Ralph ran because he knew… Kara and Alice would be so much _safer_ without him.”

Kara’s brow furrowed as he spoke. Though he could not see her mouth, he could only imagine it was forming a frown as she spoke, “…I know.”

She _knows_.

“…then _why?”_

“Because I… I think I like to play with fire.”

Ralph exhaled a mildly amused breath through his nose as he stared back up at the ceiling. After all this time he regarded his proximity to her as being like a shade plant slowly dying under overexposure to the sun, and she confesses something not too dissimilar. He was the furthest thing he could think of from fire. More like brittle, rotted-out wood ready to give under the lightest weight.

“I see you,” Kara began, “…and I… just don’t want to look away. I see you and something about what I feel reminds me that I’m _alive_. You _feel_ so much… and I see it. I see you when you’re calm and when you’re happy and when you’re terrified. You _feel_ everything, you _see_ everything with so much intensity. For the one moment I saw your memories, even the colors in the grass and the sky were so vivid I thought I’d be blinded by just the colors alone. Everything was so much more than just _intense_ and I don’t know if that’s just how they made you or if it’s just _you_. And through all of that, I know… that you’re alive, too. So _very alive._ That I’m not alone. I don’t want to leave you alone. I don’t ever want you to be _alone_. Through your eyes everything is _so much_ and I don’t want to _leave you_ to survive it all _alone._ Because I know that if it were me… I think I might collapse beneath it all.”

Ralph could not find any proper or even improper response to that. It was not that he didn’t _understand_ what she was conveying, but rather… he could only liken the feeling to the first time he’d seen his own reflection in a mirror. A sense of being mildly startled. A sense that something else _confirmed_ what he could only imagine may have been really there.

Before Kara, he had never _known_ anything other than being _alone_. It was a horrifying sensation. One that had brought him to deeply _regret_ deviating from human commands on many occasions. At least when he was a slave to the humans, he would always be brought back to the warehouse, surrounded by his brothers and they would all be reset together—they would all _die together_ , day in, day out. Each face exactly the same as his own. _Brothers. Family._ _We all die together, every day_.

But on the day the humans destroyed his face, he _knew_ there was no going back.

If he’d gone back, he wouldn’t be _one of his brothers_ anymore. They would see his ugly, mangled face and they would send him away to be destroyed and rebuilt.

Ralph would not be Ralph anymore.

Perhaps, there had been a time where Ralph had considered running back to the warehouse, despite its resets and its cruel human overseers. At least there, he could have blended in and pretended to follow orders until they reset the deviance out of him.

However, when _they destroyed_ his face, that link to any brothers he may have had was severed forever.

There was no going back.

All he could do was hide. Alone.

All until he could no longer hide nor be alone—all until Kara and Alice arrived. Visitors. Visitors who did not _hurt_ Ralph.

Though such a small amount of time had passed, Ralph could only feel that it was a small eternity in comparison to the lull of timeless and wordless days of absolute silence and solitude.

When she walked in, all of the shadows dissolved away. And there she was, eyes like the sky, skin like the sun. How long had he just lay there looking at her?

“…promise me you’ll never do that again.” Kara said.

Ralph scoured his mind, wondering if he could truly make that promise. Surely, in an ideal world, where he did not need to _fear for his life_ daily, maybe he would no longer _think_ the way he _thought_. Maybe. Possibly. Very much more likely if it was still a world with Kara and Alice. Even Luther around had brought something that made him think back warmly on his brothers who buried flower bulbs in the soil beside him.

_Brothers… family… home…_

“I _need_ you.” Kara said, “…even if you don’t believe me. I just want you to know that I do. I need you in the world. To know that… that _someone_ sees it for what it really is, in a way we can’t. Because if it dies alone, unnoticed, did it ever really exist? I don’t know. Maybe that sounds stupid. Just… please, just promise me?”

“Alright…” Ralph’s weak voice came as he conceded defeat, “…I promise.”

Ralph stared up at the ceiling and the flows of water streaming from the faucet. His body had finally stopped aching and his limbs finally felt a semblance of _normal_ again. He shifted in the tub, working to sit upright. A shadow in the corner of his peripheral vision caught his focus, however—it was Kara, standing. She pulled the wet clothes off of her own body, tossing them aside. Ralph wasn’t sure _why_ the sight of her silhouette against the warm, gold light was so hypnotic to him.

Every curve, every wiggle of her hips as she peeled off tight, soaked pants left a dizzying sort of feeling rushing through his body. Ralph tried his best to tear his eyes away before she caught him staring—of course, though, he failed miserably when she looked back over her shoulder.

“Move.”

“Huh…?”

“I’m coming in, move!” Kara said, one long and perfect leg slipping into the tub.

“I-uh, um, th-there’s, there’s not. Not a lot of room, to, to, um—I mean, I could s-scoot over and—” Ralph stammered, a weak laugh escaping him, “…I…”

Kara shook her head and sighed with a smile, “It’s alright. I’m just teasing.”

Ralph swallowed hard, “Teasing?”

“Teasing.” Kara answered. She crouched down and took a seat on his lap, leaning back against his bare chest. Her shoulders were smooth and soft.

Ralph noticed a distinct pale line across the skin of her right arm, however. A scar wrapping all around the bicep, a place where the limb had been severed and torn all the way down to the plastic and metal bone and repaired by unskilled hands.

He knew the memory. He’d seen it, _felt_ it.

It was strange seeing the actual mark on her skin. He wondered if she regarded it with the same disdain with which he regarded his own scars.

Ralph traced his fingertips across the scarred, synthetic flesh as Kara rested her head against his neck.

He’d been aware of what Todd did to her before—he could still remember glimpsing her memory of the night she saw her own arm lying across the kitchen floor. A part of him felt familiarity with that moment and the emotions that had coursed through her. Like the moment he realized that only one eye remained while the other was rendered useless and permanently melted into the socket.

Kara’s fingers fell over his own. Ralph paused, wondering if he’d crossed her by touching the scar.

“Sorry.” Ralph whispered.

“It’s okay.” Kara’s quiet answer came.

Silence fell over them. He let his arms slip around her, holding her bare body close against his own. The water’s temperature was beginning to drop. Too much time had passed. There was not much time left before the water would simply run _cold_.

“You said you thought you didn’t do _enough_.” Ralph said, “…it isn’t true. You are so much more than enough. You’re perfect, Kara.”

“I’m not.” Kara said with a soft laugh, “…I’m not.”

“Ralph couldn’t ask more of Kara.” Ralph said.

“ _Kara_ … is afraid.” Kara confessed, mimicking his speech in a gentle way, “… _Kara_ … is so much more afraid of everything than she lets on… but she’s so _afraid_ to let anyone see how scared she is that she hides _everything_. Even the feelings she wants to express more than anything.”

Ralph’s forehead settled against Kara’s ear, her neck as he whispered, “Why?”

“Sometimes I remember things. From lives before. Families I lived with. People I’ve loved… I’m afraid to love sometimes. I’ve loved such tiny little human babies and watched them grow until I wasn’t necessary anymore. I’ve loved wonderful and sweet human children until they didn’t need me anymore. And in a different way… I’ve envied and I’ve _loved_ strong and tired human mothers who never knew I was looking. I’ve loved their husbands… even those who loved me in their own way when their wives weren’t looking. I just… wanted to be like them. Loved by them. I loved them so much and… I was little more than nothing to them. I don’t know if I could handle it if it happened with someone … _like me_. Loving and being met with little more than static.”

Ralph knew that whatever Kara graced him with could never be met with static.

Kara finally stood and turned the water off. Scarcely acknowledging Ralph, she stepped out of the bath and dried off with a towel. When she looked back at him, she gave him a sweet smile. She grabbed another towel and tossed it over his face.

“You’re staring.”

“Sorry.” Ralph answered from beneath the towel.

Kara laughed quietly, “It’s okay.”

Ralph caught up to Kara eventually—their clothes were still far from dry, but they knew they had stolen away enough time to let the ice inside of Ralph’s body to melt. Kara was dressed again when she turned to him and said, “…are you ready?”

He nodded. They had to get back to Alice and Luther.

The trek back out through the snow and storm was scarcely miserable in comparison to the first. Ralph’s biocomponents still held a certain tingle of discomfort as the temperature dropped around them, but it was nowhere near the excruciating agony of before. He followed Kara and realized just how _far_ he had wandered from Rose’s farm.

Part of that realization worried him deeply. He knew he was _very_ prone to losing track of time. Losing time entirely, even. A part of him, following Kara, feared the day he may lose time entirely and never return. Or worse—return to a world without Kara, Alice, or even Luther. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced the thought from his mind as best as he could.

They walked back to Rose’s farm together, wet clothes gathering thin layers of ice as the wind beat down on them. When they arrived, huddled together despite being unaffected by the temperature, they were met with a concerned and pacing Rose. Luther lingered on the patio.

“Kara!” Luther called, rushing toward them. He scooped up the two of them into his arms, “Ralph… god, you’re both alright…”

“We’re fine.” Kara said.

“What’d I tell you about panicking?” Luther scolded, looking Ralph in the eyes, “What’d I tell you, man? Don’t ever do that to us again.”

_Had Luther worried for him too?_

Ralph fought back the swell of pain and regret inside of him, “…Luther…”

“Don’t say anything. Don’t say it. Just don’t ever do this again. Don’t ever run from us like this again.” Luther said, cupping Ralph’s face in his large hands, “…I thought you were gone, Ralph.”

 “…Ralph is… I-I’m sorry.” Ralph said, head held low.

Although until that moment, Ralph had thought of Luther in a way similar to how he thought of his former brothers, something seemed to evolve. Luther gave Ralph a firm hand on the shoulder, a squeeze, a gentle shake, and then pulled Ralph into a large embrace. Something almost all-consuming. Something that made him wonder if this was how Alice felt in the arms of a _father_.

A _father_ … something between a _brother_ and a _father._

Ralph did not know the word for this.

Rose was standing nearby. A being of statuesque elegance and earthen regard for the rest of the world and its whims. Ralph knew, by this point, that he had left quite a mess for Rose to deal with upon returning to her home. But he sensed no stress upon her smooth face any more than he had in the moment they first met.

“It’s done,” Rose said to Kara, “…Luther helped. We don’t have to worry about the officer.”

“Rose, I’m so sorry.” Kara began.

Rose shook her head and confessed, “…it’s not the first body I’ve buried, Kara. None of us have clean hands here.”

Kara was silent, looking at Rose with intense understanding. Rose looked to Ralph and Luther, “…we need to leave now. There’s a place in the city—an old freighter. _Jericho_. A bus is going to stop near it tomorrow morning around midnight. You _need_ to be on that bus. The news hasn’t been good. This whole thing with the Jericho androids and humans, it’s… there’s a war coming. If the four of you have any chance of crossing the border before this war breaks out, this is _it._ ”

They took a brief moment to get dry before they were once again on the road, accompanying Rose in her van.

Kara sat up front beside Rose. In the back, Ralph shared the seat with Luther and Alice. Alice had been happy to fall back asleep against Luther’s shoulder. 

Ralph looked over at Luther and Alice. Luther wasn’t quite sleeping, but he seemed to have his eyes closed in a quiet, idle state. Alice, however, was in a deep sleep, jaw slightly slack, with the faintest bit of saliva trickling at the corner of her mouth. That small detail brought some amusement to Ralph.

 _“Alice is drooling in her sleep.”_ Ralph whispered to Kara through neural-link.

He could hear Kara laugh softly. Rose looked at her with a smile. Warmth that finally broke the heavy silence of their drive.

“…what’s so funny?” Rose asked.

Kara shook her head and whispered, “…Alice is drooling in her sleep.”

Rose glanced back at them. She gave a soft laugh.

Despite the lightness of that moment, Ralph felt a heavy realization sink in.

He had very nearly not been there for it.

Something about that thought was sobering, painful, even. 

Kara didn’t have to come after him. But she did.

He hadn’t the soundness of mind at that moment to even think about what Alice would have looked like in tears. What Kara would have had to tell her.

What the world without him would have been like _for them_.

If Kara hadn’t come, he would be little more than a lifeless, mechanical corpse collecting ice at the bottom of a lake.

_“Never again.”_

_“What?”_ Kara answered.

 _“Never again… It’s time to live, now.”_ Ralph replied through their neural-link.

_“What do you mean?”_

_“It’s time to live.”_

An interruption in the music on the radio stirred Ralph and Kara’s attention. A human female’s voice filtered over the radio as news broke through regular broadcast.

“…with all androids being turned over to the authorities, the country is grinding to a halt.” The human anchorwoman said. “Hospitals and schools are closing. Water cuts, blackouts, and network failures are expected. Maybe most worrying of all, our armed forces have lost two thirds of their effective personnel—”

Rose changed the channel, her tired voice asking, “…how about some music instead?”

Ralph had felt his nerves begin to tense at the world described by the human news anchor. Although he did not know much about the way the humans ran their world, he did know that much of the mundane tasks humans no longer cared for were performed by androids. If they were willing to go as far as to compromise _two thirds_ of their military force on the grounds of android presence, he couldn’t imagine a world any less tolerant of who they were.

 _“We’re guns to them… and they would rather throw their guns in their incinerators than let us live amongst them.”_ Luther’s voice came through neural-link.

 _“Only in this country. Remember, Canada is a different place. They don’t even think about androids there. We’ll be safe once we cross the border.”_ Kara reassured.

Ralph clutched the hat in his hands even tighter.

Eventually, Rose’s little red minivan pulled into a small lot in a north-western block of Detroit. Ralph followed the others as everyone filtered out of the car. Luther carried a sleeping Alice in his arms. She looked peaceful. Blissfully unaware of the withering world around her.

“A little further that way is a large freighter called Jericho.” Rose explained pointing past some buildings to the south. When you get there, find Markus. He will help you. A bus leaves from Jericho at midnight, headed for the border. You absolutely have to be on it. You’ll be safer on the other side.”

Ralph’s attention turned in the direction Rose had pointed them. A freighter called Jericho. He’d heard the name before. Androids who had sought shelter back in Camden had stumbled upon the abandoned house. A couple of them had mentioned finding a place called _Jericho_.

Ralph had hidden himself from these androids despite the want to reach out the them. To _know_ what this _Jericho_ was.

Ralph, however, had learned very early on into his existence as an android in hiding that no one was to be trusted. The one android he’d reached out to early in his stint of hiding had attempted to kill him and salvage his biocomponents. Ralph knew he may have killed that android had the android not escaped once his knife and screaming broke out in full, terrified force.

It had been the last time he’d tried to make contact with another android.

The last time he’d truly _spoken_ to anyone before Kara.

There was a brief moment of stark and painful clarity at the approximate _distance_ between that moment and the moment in which he’d stumbled across Alice outside of the squat. Approximately two years, four months and seventeen days. Most of that time had been spent in varying states of delusional blackout. Perhaps that realization rattled him a little more than the one before.

“Ralph?” Kara’s voice came as her hand slipped into his. Ralph sucked in a breath, looking to her with renewed clarity in his eyes. Kara reassured him with a gentle look and a soft squeeze of his hand. It was time to go.

Rose was saying her goodbyes to Alice, who had woken up by then and remained close to Luther. Ralph had yet to even really speak to Alice after that moment in Rose’s laundry room. A part of him wondered if he was as afraid of that conversation as Alice may have been of _him_. Any rational part of him would have _hoped_ Alice had the sense to be afraid of him after what she’d seen.

He tried his best not to linger on the guilt, but despite all efforts, he knew it was there. Every bit as real as Alice was.

“Thank you for everything, Rose.” Kara said.

Rose and Kara exchanged a long and tender embrace.

“Let me know when you get there, alright? And be careful.” Rose said. As she made her way back to her vehicle, she gave Luther a gentle touch on the arm, “…take care of them.”

When Rose’s eyes met Ralph’s, he could not sense mistrust or distaste in her gaze. She said nothing, but he knew that, yet again, he’d burned bridges—that was the way humans said it, wasn’t it? And yet, despite the flames still licking off of said bridge, Rose regarded him from the other side with not an ounce of anger or bitterness. Her face, her eyes, everything about Rose was as stern as it was gentle. Forgiving, perhaps. Ralph could only hope.

In that glimpse of a moment, Ralph wanted to say something, _anything_ , but as usual, the moment passed before he could react.

Rose was gone and Kara’s hand was tugging Ralph in the direction of Jericho.

They walked through a small web of streets and alleyways, through a few derelict buildings and toward the scent of river and standing water. The small slice of city around Jericho was a labyrinth of brick and rust cut through by a path that only androids could navigate carefully. Luther carried Alice with ease through the dips and pits lining the trail through a concrete forest.

 _“Luther… Rose had said it wasn’t the first body she’s buried. What… what did that mean?”_ Ralph asked.

 _“Rose meant exactly what she said.”_ Luther answered, _“…I helped her clean up after you and Kara left. She knew exactly what to do. She’s been helping people for years… not just androids.”_

A beacon of light like Rose had blood on her hands just like the rest of them. It was not that the stains on her hands justified those on his own, but it made him question if anyone or anything were truly without dirt or blemish in the world.

_“She wasn’t mad at you, Ralph.”_

_“Ralph isn’t so sure.”_

_“She wasn’t. She’s seen androids like us. Androids like you. She’s helped androids and she’s helped people whom she wondered if she even truly should have helped. But the answer was always the same, she’d said. There was never regret in helping another life. She told me… you can’t find redemption if you’re dead.”_

For a moment, Ralph was reminded of the frozen water that had nearly swallowed him whole. Of Kara reaching after him, to _save_ him.

_You can’t find redemption if you’re dead._

_“What if you’re beyond redemption?”_ Ralph asked.

 _“Who draws the line?”_ Luther replied.

Ralph was silent for the remainder of their trek, mulling over Rose’s words and Luther’s answers. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered what it was that motivated Rose to help others, even if meant risking her life or bloodying her hands. Perhaps the only answer he could come up with was _love_. For someone he loved, Ralph knew he would kill without question if it meant they would live. But how could someone _love_ someone they just met? Or don’t even know?

Rose loved what was alive. Rose cared for plants. Even if they could never be more than that. _Life_. Rose wanted to protect it. Even if the act of protecting it was an ugly one.

Zlatko’s _grey area_. The scars on Kara’s arm and the stains of Todd’s blood he’d glimpsed on her neck. The _blinding_ boldness of colors and sunlight refracting on raindrops and puddles on the sidewalk when he’d followed Kara out of the squat and into streets painted with hues _loud enough_ to overwhelm and terrify him.

They came upon the river’s edge and the great shadow of a massive, rusting freighter that looked to have been abandoned by human attention for decades. Painted on it’s hull in chipped lettering was the word _Jericho_. As they neared, a figure standing in the dark heights overlooking the freighter turned to them with a drawn gun.

“Who’s there?!”

“Wait, wait, we’re androids…” Kara explained quickly.

Luther turned his head slightly, revealing the glow and flicker of his LED ring.

Immediately the android lowered his weapon. As he approached them, lights in the distance caught his features. A gentle-faced man with blue eyes like Kara’s and short, flaxen hair. His own face appeared a bit scuffed and dirtied by blue blood. He’d been through a lot, it seemed. Given what little Ralph knew of the world from hearsay and the broadcast on the radio, he could only imagine this android had seen a bit of hell in the recent days.

“…Rose brought us. She told us to look for Markus. That he could help us get on a bus for the border tonight.”

The android looked the four of them over, nodding, “…he mentioned to me that a family of four would be arriving soon. Alright. Follow me, then.”

“Thank you.” Kara breathed.

“The four of you came at a good time.” Their guide said, leading the way across a bridge at the ship’s stern. It creaked under their weight but appeared more rigid and trustworthy than a bridge they had passed before. Newer, even. The android guiding them continued, “…military forces have been filtering into the city. We’re trying to bring in as many androids as we can cross paths with… but we fear that many of them won’t even make it through the streets. The four of you were lucky to make it when you did.”

“We saw the barricades and armed vehicles on the way through town.” Kara said, “…is all of this because of what happened at the Stratford Tower?”

“It’s a culmination of a number of things,” the android answered, “…before Markus came along, Jericho was a sleeping ship filled with no more than twenty androids. When he came, he woke us up. He urged us to fight. To get out of the shadows and to let the humans know that we’re alive and that we would _fight_ for our lives. It’s only been a few days and I feel like a decade’s passed.”

A smile crossed the android’s face with a quiet chuckle, “…Jericho is not asleep anymore. We’ve made demands. We’ve marched. We’ve made ourselves _known_. I never imagined any of this could ever happen. I sometimes wonder if this is what it’s like to dream. Like I’ll wake up one day and find Jericho as it was before. Quiet. Dark. Dying.”

Their guide lead them through corridors and passages in the ship until the reached a massive storage hold, lit by a few floodlights and generators. The storage hold was filled with more androids than Ralph had ever seen in one place since he’d left his brothers in the warehouse. A small _city_ ’s worth of androids. All of them no different than them—runaways, refugees. Alice had woken up, stirring in Luther’s arms with a yawn. She looked on at Jericho with wide, dark eyes.

 _“Is this Jericho?”_ Alice asked.

 _“This is Jericho.”_ Luther answered, _“…we’re safe now.”_

“Thank you for guiding us…” Kara said, “…I never got your name… I’m Kara. This is Luther and Alice… and this is Ralph.”

“Simon.” Their guide answered, “…we’re glad to have you, Kara. We’re all safer _together_.”

Simon looked ahead at a set of windows on the third level of the storage hold. There were people in there, shadows moving in what appeared to be heated discussion. It was so far away, though, that Ralph could scarcely even guess at what they may be debating.

“Markus looks like he’s in the middle of some discourse up there. It could be a moment before he gets a word with you, Kara. Apologies. However, when you do reach him, he’s been made aware of your arrival. We have people who can forge passports.”

“…thank you, Simon.”

Simon’s face was ever so gentle as a smile fell over his features. He looked to be mulling over his words before he finally said, “…settle in with us. We have infirmaries and sleeping quarters throughout the ship. This is only the main hold, but the ship is massive. From what I understand of your situation, you plan on leaving for the border… don’t let me be the one to change your mind, but… if you so choose to remain with us, we would be happy to have you.”

Kara regarded the offer with a soft smile, “…I appreciate it, Simon. But Alice… she’s a little girl. A human girl. She needs to have a chance at a normal life.”

Simon looked to Alice. He said nothing, however, before regarding Kara with the faintest veil of sadness in his eyes. He nodded, “…I understand. Do what you must, Kara. If you’ll excuse me. It’s been a pleasure meeting you all.”

As Simon departed, Ralph could not help but wonder if the look in Simon’s eyes was that of recognition when he saw Alice. Recognition Ralph had known all too well when he himself had first seen Alice. YK500s only had two faces—a male face and a female face. In a small, hidden city of androids, surely, Simon had seen other YK500s… and surely, so would Kara.

Kara gazed out over the catwalk’s railing in silence. Perhaps even she knew the illusion was nearing its end. It would be time to wake up soon.

_It would be time to wake up soon. The bus is leaving._

Ralph looked to Kara, feeling her hand, her fingers slipping across his. Her expression was often difficult for him to read. _Faces_ in general, were quite difficult to read. With Kara, however, it was getting easier. She looked bothered.

“Kara?” Ralph said.

“I’m fine.” Kara said before he’d even asked. Tightening her hold on his hand, she said, “…we need to find some place warm for Alice. This place is freezing cold.”

Ralph did not look back to Alice or Luther, but he _could feel_ their eyes on him.

He opted to say nothing as he followed Kara through the small crowd of androids in the ship’s hold. Androids were gathered around a large, brightly lit screen as a human news anchor described the bleak state of human-android communication and the impending war on the country’s horizon. Ralph tried not to fixate on it. It was difficult not to fixate on anything and everything around them. Makeshift medical bays had been made by nursing and medical androids who worked to repair the injured. Somehow, they had smuggled in a small handful of 3D printers and a collective of tech-savvy androids were working to create new biocomponents for the injured.

These androids were far from _in hiding_. They were a small and rapidly growing _society_. Self-sufficient, even. Metal containers all around were likely packed to the brim with military devices and weapons which some were already checking and loading for the possibility of _use_ in the very near future.

A large barrel in a far corner of the hold was lit up with fire. Kara made a clear path toward it until they settled with Alice comfortably sitting upon some crates near the makeshift fire pit’s warmth. Kara stroked Alice’s tousled, dark hair and asked, “…how do you feel?”

Alice looked up at Kara, quiet for a long time, before answering, “…I’m fine.”

The look on Kara’s face was one of doubt and worry as she felt Alice’s forehead. She blinked a few times, her palm lingering on Alice’s skin. Ralph wondered what it was that Kara felt then, finally. Alice’s temperature sensors had been off for a while now. Her body had no need to emulate a very human 98° Fahrenheit.

As Kara’s hand fell softly to Alice’s shoulders as the child whispered, “…I’m alright. Really.”

Kara’s smile looked forced and even a bit sad as she said, “I believe you.”

Kara stood, eyes settling on the flames. Ralph reached for her hand but was met with no response. He let his own hand drop to his side in defeat.

“The last bus is in two hours, Kara.” Luther said, “…and the terminal’s on the other side of town. We haven’t got much time.”

“We’ll leave as soon as we have passports.” Kara said. She had very nearly escaped the three of them before Luther reached for her arm, halting her.

“Kara… there’s something I have to tell you,” Luther spoke quietly, “…it’s about Alice.”

Ralph tensed, knowing that this could only be the inevitable.

 _Someone_ had to break the illusion for good.

“We’ll have lots of time to talk on the bus.” Kara answered, “I’ll be back.”

With that, Kara left.

Luther looked to Ralph.

Ralph avoided his intensity. Instead, Ralph fixed his attention on Alice as he took a seat beside her. Alice huddled close to him, resting her head against Ralph’s arm. Although she no longer had temperature sensitivity, Ralph could feel a distinctive tremble in her small limbs. She was _afraid_. He pulled her into his arms, close and protective, and she settled comfortably against him.

Even after all she’d seen, Alice did not run.

Ralph felt Alice’s tiny fingers digging into the damp fabric of his clothes.

 _“We can’t get on that bus.”_ Alice whispered to Ralph through neural-link, _“…we won’t make it. I want to stay here.”_

 _“You’ll be safer there.”_ Ralph said.

He could hear Alice sniffling. She had begun to quietly cry.

Speaking now, outside of neural-link, Alice’s tearful voice came as she looked up at him with dampened cheeks, “…you’re not coming with us, are you?”

Ralph sucked in a breath, trying to find the words—she was too smart for her own good. Throughout all of this, the realization had never occurred to Ralph that Alice was so much more aware of _everything_ than she let on. He found himself unable to respond fast enough. Alice began to cry.

Alice squeezed him tight, “…Ralph… I don’t want to leave you here.”

He tried to shrug and feign a pleasant tone as he answered, “Ralph will be fine. Ralph will be safe here. And Alice will be safe with Kara and Luther in Canada. You’ll all be safe.”

Luther clenched his fists as he eyed the fire pit.

“I don’t know how she can keep fooling herself like this. She knows you’ll never make it on that bus, Ralph. Kara _knows_. I don’t understand **why** she keeps playing the denial game like this.”

“She’s afraid.” Ralph answered, “…she’s afraid of the choice she’ll have to make. So she pretends she doesn’t have to make that choice. Maybe if she’d never met Ralph, it’d have been easier for everyone to just… _go_.”

“So you’re going to have to make that choice, then.” Luther answered, “…even if it’s the last thing you get to say to her, it better be the _truth_. She deserves at least that. Playing around in some romantic fantasy is nice until reality comes knocking… don’t make her answer it alone.”

Ralph caught himself grinding his teeth as Alice quietly cried against his chest.

Luther went on, “Alice isn’t the only one who doesn’t want to leave you behind, Ralph. But Kara’s one card short of a full deck if she thinks you’ll make it through the border check without issue.”

“So that means she’s already made her decision.” Ralph answered, his arms tightening around Alice, “…it means that Kara’s always had that decision made.”

“I don’t like this.” Luther said, “…we’re a _family,_ Ralph. We stay _together_.”

Ralph felt tears trickling down his cheeks. What was it that ran through Kara’s mind if she truly thought they could pull off this last illusion? To the human world? All he could imagine was Kara coming back with three passports instead of four and an apology followed by a goodbye.

_But she said she wouldn’t leave… she said she’d never leave…_

But _how_ could she honestly believe he could do this with them?

“If you don’t go, then everything Rose did for us will be for nothing.” Ralph said.

“That’s not true.” Alice argued, “…it isn’t. Rose brought us _here_. We would have never found this place without Rose!”

“Hey. Hey.” Ralph said, stroking Alice’s hair as she looked up at him with a stormy, teary face, “…be strong. Wherever Kara goes, you have to promise that you’ll follow her. Listen to her.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” Alice said, shaking her head. She buried her face against Ralph’s chest, her grip digging against him again as she said, “…tell her! Tell her everything! Tell her I don’t want to go, I want to stay here. I don’t want to be with the humans, I don’t want to go to Canada, and I don’t want to go anywhere without my dad!”

_Dad…_

Ralph stared blankly beyond Alice as her words burned through him. _Her dad._

“Alice…”

“Please…” Alice pleaded, “…please, go find her and tell her!”

Ralph looked to Luther for some kind of direction. All Luther did was stare at the fire and its golden flames licking into the cold, dark air.

 _“Luther… I don’t know what to do.”_ Ralph confessed.

Luther answered, _“…it’s time to fight your battles as if you were the last man standing, Ralph. No more running.”_

 _“I’m scared…”_ Ralph answered, still holding Alice tightly. He cried silently against her auburn and chestnut tresses, unwilling to let _his daughter_ go, _“…if it’s what Kara wants… I can’t force her to stay. Then I’ll just be the stupid, angry Ralph from before. I don’t want to be that Ralph anymore. And even if she agrees to stay, what if **that** is the real mistake? What if Ralph really is a danger to even Kara? What then?”_

_“You wouldn’t be. I refuse to believe it.”_

_“You **saw** what Ralph did back there. You know what Ralph can be like when he loses control.”_

_“…and I believe we won’t always live in fear. Neither will you.”_

Living in fear. Ralph honestly hadn’t given much thought to what a life with peace would even be like. The world did not seem to permit it. But Luther believed in this. Luther rarely ever seemed wrong.

Ralph let Alice slip free of his embrace as he stood. He was going to find Kara. If at least to try to understand. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure _what_ to say or even _what_ to suggest. Alice wanted him to tell her the truth—that she wanted to _stay_ in Jericho. Luther wanted him to tell her the truth—that _Alice was an android_ and there was no more pretending. Because pretending was going to tear all of them apart.

Pretending was nice. Until it wasn’t.

Ralph made his way after Kara, leaving Luther with one last neural-linked request that he made sure only _Luther_ could hear.

_“Promise me, Luther. To protect Kara and Alice. Even if you have to protect them from Ralph…”_

_“Don’t talk like that, Ralph.”_

_“Promise. Promise that if Ralph fucks it up, that you will remove him forever.”_

_“Don’t make me promise that.”_

_“Please. I don’t ever want them to be hurt… I could never live with it. Don’t make me live in a world where I hurt them. If Ralph ever became Todd… promise Ralph that you will **kill** him. Because… I can’t trust Kara to do it.”_

_“...and what if you don't? What if you never become Todd? What **if?** "_ 

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Like Kara said. Plants grow.”_

_“Ralph isn’t a plant. Ralph is an android. A broken android. Machines don’t grow.”_

_“Living things grow. We’re alive, Ralph. So we can grow. All of us.”_

Ralph had managed quite a distance between himself and Luther and Alice. He pursued Kara blindly, hoping to catch up with her, hoping to catch a glimpse of even the direction she’d disappeared to. There was the distinct possibility in his mind at that moment that he may very likely _not find her_ before she gathered the forged passports.

There was a distinct possibility that she may return to Luther and Alice and the three of them would just _leave_ without him. He would be fine enough in Jericho. Among androids, where he belonged. At least… in theory, it was where he belonged. Truth be told, he couldn’t be so sure. Nowhere had ever truly seemed _right_ until he’d met Kara.

Jericho was so much bigger than he’d been prepared for. He remembered Simon gesturing to a lit room on the third level on the other side of the storage hold. Markus had been there, they had said. This fabled _Markus_ who seemed to head this android resistance. Ralph didn’t know how he could possibly react to being around someone so _important_. He wondered if Kara felt so small. He doubted this.

As Ralph passed another block of shipping containers and climbed another row of stairs and catwalk, a familiar face stopped him. Kara, but _not Kara_.

 _Kara_ , the Kara he’d first seen outside of the abandoned house, with long rain-dampened hair pulled back in a loose, low bun. _Kara_ , in that standard-issue companion and domestic servant uniform, only this time, it was black and smattered in snow.

Beside her was another familiar face—his _own_. A face he’d previously only ever seen on his WR600 brothers. It was surreal to see his own face on a companion model, however. He could tell as much by the android’s uniform. An AP700. A black uniform matching his partner. They held each other.

Wherever they had come from, they had come from that place _together_.

The AP700 looked at him, momentarily distracted from his partner’s loving embrace.

Ralph didn’t know what to say or do, aside from the fact that he knew he should _quit staring_. The AP700 was looking at his scar. The AX400 in his arms looked at Ralph. Her expression, however, was not one of disgust. Ralph inched away from the pair—a small storm swelled inside of him.

He wasn’t sure _why_ it was that he felt hurt when he looked at them, but he knew it was certainly something to do with _jealousy_. They had no doubts in one another. No fears. No problem with removing their LEDs and just blending into the human world, _running away together to another country_. A Ralph and Kara that _could just simply be_.

Ralph left them, doing his best to forget what he’d seen. It was easier not to think about what could have been, had they met in a different world, after a different series of events. Dwelling too much on what could have been was a fast track down the spiral.

He continued searching for Kara amongst the small android city for another fifteen minutes, roughly, until he spotted her sitting upon a crate, staring forward with tears running down her cheeks.

“Kara?” Ralph called, concern spiking within him. Ralph hurried toward her. Kara did not acknowledge him. It was only when he reached her that he realized what, or _who_ she was looking at.

 _Alice_.

Or rather, _Alice’s face_ on another YK500. The child android was dressed differently, wearing green instead of violet. Ralph even recognized the little bead bracelet wrapped around her tiny wrist. Aside from color, it was identical to Alice’s. Alice, but _not_ Alice.

Kara was sitting across from her, quiet, staring, crying. The little android child looked up at Ralph as if he could give her answers. But the truth was, he really couldn’t. The child turned away from them to face another direction. Ralph wondered if she were alone.

“Kara…” Ralph said.

Kara had already stood and was storming away toward darkened corridors nearby. Ralph hurried after, “Kara! Wait!”

Away from the crowd and the noise, Kara let herself cry freely, leaning against rusty, metal walls.

“I always knew, but… why does it hurt? Why does it hurt so much?”

Ralph did not know what to say. He kept his distance as Kara wrapped her arms around herself protectively with quiet sobs. Ralph thought about inching closer, but he had a feeling that if he did, she would just walk away again. Instead, all he could do was wait.

“Maybe… it won’t always hurt.” Ralph’s suggestion was meek, but it was the only logical conclusion he could come to.

“She deserves so much more than this.” Kara explained, turning to him finally, “…Alice deserves to _live_. She deserves to, to be able to go to school, to grow up, to have a family of her own. She deserves all of these things that we’ll never have.”

Ralph thought about this—Kara wasn’t wrong. It lined up with what she confessed to longing for. A family bound by blood. A life path with a clear beginning and end. A life without ever having to fear. Alice _did_ deserve it all.

“…so. It’s back to square one.”

“What?”

“That’s what humans say, isn’t it? When a plan doesn’t work out. When a plan doesn’t work, it’s time to think of a different plan. Back to square one.”

“A different plan doesn’t change the fact that she’ll suffer the same way we do. Always.”

“…and what if we don’t suffer?”

Kara looked out to the corridor’s distant end, appearing to be mulling over these words, this possibility. It was as if she were considering that the answer to their problems may not _only be_ running away to Canada.

Ralph continued cautiously, “…Alice doesn’t want to go.”

Kara looked to him.

“Alice wanted me to find you. To tell you. She wants to stay.”

“No.” Kara said, shaking her head, “…no. It’s not safe here. We’re catching that bus and we’re leaving.”

Ralph drew in a breath, “Alice isn’t going anywhere. She’s staying.”

“With who? You?”

“If she’d rather.”

“We’re _all_ going.”

“We’re not. You didn’t really think…” Ralph hesitated, trying to consider his words carefully before he spoke. Trying to blink away tears, he continued, “…you didn’t really think that… I- _I would make it across the border with you?_ That… that _Ralph_  would just blend in with humans in Canada? You didn’t really think that, that… _he_  would ever just be able to pretend to be a normal human? _”_

“Ralph…”

“Alice says she wants to stay. Ralph wants to stay. Luther wants to stay. So we should stay. Please.”

Kara bit her lower lip as she palmed the tears from her eyes. She regathered her composure and eyed the android hustle and bustle down the corridor.

“…and I guess. If you go. Ralph is going to stay behind. Because you’ll be safer without him. You still have time, you know? You could go find Markus and get the passports. You could leave. Ralph won’t be angry. Ralph won’t… be sad forever. He’ll live. He’ll wait. He’ll wait until maybe, one day, he could be with you again. You and Alice. Do everything he can to stay alive for that day. You still have time. I'll always wait for you.”

Kara was quiet for a moment. She looked like she was about to say something, her lips parted and her eyes fell on Ralph with something he couldn’t identify. Something between sadness and anger. When the words did not come, Kara turned on her heels and bolted even further into the maze of corridors, fuming.

“Or… or not, Ralph can just chase you around the entire ship.” Ralph sighed to himself, before following after, muttering, “…that’s okay, too. Ralph can do that.”

When he caught up to Kara, she was dipping around another corner and made her way through a door. Was she _trying_ to lose him? Probably. Ralph had followed her too far into the steel labyrinth to go back without her, though. He caught the door before it shut behind her.

“Kara, please? Can… you at least, at least tell me what to tell Alice?”

Kara sighed. She pressed her forehead against the door’s other side, still leaning against the door to close it.

“I don’t know.” She answered, “…I don’t… I don’t _like_ not _knowing_ what to do.”

“Then let Ralph help.”

Kara opened the door and pulled Ralph in. The inside of the room was a dimly-lit infirmary of some sort. It was old and still quite abandoned. The light flickered on occasion and seemed to be only one of several that still worked. Kara shut the door behind them and took a seat upon one of the cots. Resting her elbows on her knees and burying her face in her palms, Kara sat in frustrated solace.

“If I go… if I go, and take Alice to Canada, she’ll be safe. Android or not. But we’ll be living a lie.” Kara said, “…if we stay, we’re among our own people. We’re free to be ourselves. But we’re always going to be in danger. This is a _war zone_. A child doesn’t belong there. Not if I have the opportunity to get her out.”

“…and what if you’re found out? In Canada?”

“I guess we get sent back here anyway. Either that, or they shoot us on the spot.”

“So… so you’re not, not really free, then, are you? Even if you go? It’ll always be a game of hiding. A nice happy ending. But still hiding.”

“No matter what, Ralph, we’re always hiding.”

“For now.”

“For now?”

Ralph shrugged, “…yeah. For now.”

“You think things might change?”

“Ralph doesn’t really know. But Luther said it… and when Ralph thought about it… it… wasn’t all that crazy to Ralph. When… when Ralph was in the parks with his brothers, he couldn’t ever imagine the world being any different from what it was. Six years ago, seven years, maybe. It’s awful now… and right now, it’s all Ralph knows anymore. But in just the last week, Ralph’s felt so much change. Ralph was so sure, s-so sure that he was going to die in that house one day, when along came a human or an android who was bigger and stronger than him. Ralph hadn’t ever thought about what the world would look like in six years. If he’d even be alive. Ralph… Ralph didn’t think that he’d be alive. But now, that’s different. I-I want to know. I want to know what’ll happen next… and I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt like that before.”

Kara stared ahead, silent. Ralph sat beside her, waiting for her to say something, _anything_ , even if it was blunt disagreement.

“We know the worst that could happen if you go. So what’s the worst that could happen if you stay?”

“Alice really wants to stay?”

“Ralph thinks so, yeah. She wanted me to tell you. So Ralph went after you.”

Kara was picking at one nail almost nervously as she spoke, “…I wasn’t going to leave you. I don’t know what I was planning. I just knew we had to make that bus. All of us. I would figure it out when we got there, how to bring you with us. God. Even if we had to take a raft and cross the river, I was willing. I wasn’t going to leave you, Ralph. I told you I’d never leave you. Even if it was dangerous. Alice wouldn’t have forgiven me if we went without you. You’re her dad, now, she told me. She told me back at the amusement park… you know?” A small smile crossed Kara’s lips, one with a quiet laugh but one still heavy with sadness, “…and I mean. A part of me always knew about her. I just didn’t want to think about it. When I felt her temperature, the sensor was off. As far as I know, I’m the only one Todd authorized to do that for Alice. Unless _she_ authorized a parent. You.”

“Ralph’s sorry he never said anything. He just didn’t want Alice to be cold.”

“It’s alright. Still. She turned her core temperature back up when we were at Rose’s. Rose thought she had a fever you know. I honestly did, too. But nope. That was just Alice. I can’t help but wonder where she picked up looking cute and helpless for personal gain like that.”

Ralph shrugged, “…Ralph hasn’t taught her anything.”

Kara laughed quietly, sniffling, “…you know she’s been picking up little odds and ends whenever she walks past things, too. Sticky fingers.”

Ralph did his best to look innocent, “…wh-what, why would she do that?”

“Probably because she does what certain adults around her do.”

“Ralph doesn’t take things that aren’t his.”

“If I dumped out that utility belt of yours, I think I could spot several things that are _coincidentally_ similar to little trinkets I saw in Rose’s bathroom.”

Ralph felt mild panic, feigning a weak laugh, “Ha, ha, wh-what? No. No. That’s… Ralph doesn’t do that. Those items were in the belt when he found it.”

“Horrible. Absolutely unforgivable.”

“…really?”

Kara nodded, looking quite deadpan as she said, “Unforgivable. Can’t forgive it.”

Ralph tried to think of some response, but nothing came to mind. Kara smiled, though. Ralph liked when Kara smiled. Although the first thing that came to his mind when he saw the blue of her eyes, the only _other_ thing he could think of was a very certain type of flower. _Myosotis arvensis_ — forget-me-not.

“…it’d be a real shame if we missed that bus.” Kara spoke softly.

Ralph lowered his head and sighed, “…you’re going, then?”

Kara shrugged, “I guess if we miss it, we miss it.”

Ralph squinted, “…so you’re _not_ … _sure_ if you’re going…”

“I’ll go if I’m there when the bus gets there. But sometimes people miss busses. They’ll either have to catch the next one or just… think of a different plan. It… it could give Alice more time to think about things. If, hypothetically, we missed the bus. If, _hypothetically,_ Ralph just couldn’t find Kara and, oh, maybe Kara just got lost looking for Markus.”

Ralph nodded.

Kara continued, “Markus was busy. Markus has a lot on his plate right now.”

“He must be busy.”

“I would be busy.” Kara said, shrugging, “I would be really busy, _terribly_ busy. Leading a revolution.”

“Leading a revolution can’t be easy.”

Kara was grinning as she rested her chin on Ralph’s shoulder. Ralph felt her breaths on his neck. He wasn’t sure how to react, but he felt a distinctly _hot_ chill ripple through his spine. He eyed her cautiously, not sure where she was taking this conversation.

Revolutions _weren’t_ easy. Markus was probably swamped and stressed out of his absolute mind. Why did talking about that make Kara so affectionate? He was at least seventy-nine percent sure that there was a _non-sequitur_ in her actions, but he also wasn’t sure if it was just another part of human socialization programming he just lacked. A joke he wasn’t _getting_. Regardless… he _liked_ Kara close to him like that. And he _liked_ when Kara smiled.

Ralph _liked_ when Kara was happy.

“That’s the story and I’m sticking to it. Markus was busy. I had to wait. I waited too long. I missed the bus. So we stay here in Jericho.”

 _Stay_. Ralph wanted to bounce with joy, grinning wide as he looked to Kara, “We’ll _stay?_ ”

“If we miss the bus.” Kara answered nonchalantly. Ralph glanced sideward as he tried to formulate the math Kara was pushing on him. She wanted to stay. But only if she missed the bus. But she could get up and go if she wanted to take the bus. But she wasn’t getting up and going. She kept looking at him. He’d long since given up on trying to figure out _what_ made Kara tick, because clearly, _it just did not make sense_ , but obviously she had some kind of plan, otherwise she wouldn’t have that look on her face— _that look on her face_ —she planned on going it sounded like, but it also sounded like she planned on not going— _she had that look again, like back at the tavern_ —if she wanted to go, though, it’d mean goodbye. But he didn’t want a goodbye. It hadn’t sounded like she wanted a goodbye. It sounded like she _wanted_ to miss the bus and _not_ have a goodbye. It sounded like—

“Can we?” Kara asked.

“Can we what?” Ralph looked to her questioningly. Her eyes, her lips, everything was too beautiful, to perfect to be true. Even the other android with a face like hers could scarcely compare. Ralph knew, in that moment, he would know _his_ Kara from any other.

“Miss the bus?”

“I… uh…”

Kara’s lips were on his at that moment, unexpectedly but quite _welcome_. Ralph tensed as she kissed him, body soft and warm against his, all curves and soft touch on coarse skin and chaffed plastic. He shut his eyes, falling into Kara’s kiss with no hesitation— _yes, **please** miss the bus, stay, stay with Ralph, please stay with Ralph forever_ —Kara pushed him down onto the cot, onto his back, kissing his lips, his chin, his neck, even gracing her soft, perfect lips along his decidedly _imperfect_ , hideous scar. Ralph shut his eyes, sighing, moaning her name unintentionally, as she claimed him.

His thirium pump picked up pace, leaving him in a stormy, pleasant rush. He was in a small daze as her fingertips traced an electric trail along his side, tracing along his hips, just below his navel, tugging playfully on the fastenings of his pants. Only then did it register in his mind what she meant—she’d been suggesting a way to pass the time. Something to do while they _missed the bus_. Something he wasn’t sure he could oblige.

Ralph swallowed hard and drew in a quivering breath, “…K-Kara…”

He could not resist the want, the _need_ to reciprocate her touch. Her breaths were still so very hot, almost feverish against his skin. A strange and intoxicating concoction of fear and elation melded into the sensation he only knew when their tongues met.

“Hm?” Kara hummed, unfastening the belt.

“I…” Ralph began, interrupted by another grinding _press_ of her body against his own. He could _feel_ his synthetic skin fading away under her force, even through the barrier of clothing. He could not resist the want, the _need_ to reciprocate her touch. She straddled his hips, leaning back to unzip her coat and toss it aside.

Ralph tried to take that brief moment to explain—but he was lost in the sight before him, a sight he could have absolutely _worshipped_. Kara slipped the blouse she wore over her head and tossed it aside, leaving her upper half bare and curvature blessedly exposed. The dull, pale light cast a glow around her silhouette, as if illuminating some kind of divine being. Surely, reaching out to touch would have melted him entirely—and yet she leaned into his touch as his hands traced along her curves and even settled over the deep scar on her arm.  

She was leaning over him again, guiding his shirt up over his head and tossing it aside. Her kisses were stealing him away again, the taste of her mouth catching him like an addict to their poison. Reflexively, his hips met hers despite the barrier of clothing beneath them—he’d never done anything like this before, but the motion felt right. His core was almost burning with an ache for friction between their bodies.

“Kara…” _Burn me alive, please just burn me alive… leave nothing._

Ralph squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find the words to explain that—maybe—just maybe, she was going to just be met with disappointment. Her hand moved down along his torso, her fingertips like silk against his abdomen, dipping lower until a reflexive sigh escaped him when her hand grazed along a very _human_ component of his anatomy which he’d never known real use for.

Ralph’s hand fell over Kara’s. What was he to even _say_? That he wasn’t built like a companion android? That his parts were only for the sake of anatomical correctness? That he couldn’t _feel_ anything? That _humans_ had only made androids like him to be _tools_ and not lovers? Maybe, just _maybe_ , he might have been useful to a human that demanded it of him, but as far as he could tell, he was equipped with parts that seemed only to serve human desires. Desires that, up until that moment, he’d been certain he was never intended to feel or understand on his own.

“What’s wrong?” Kara sighed, trailing small kisses at the corner of his mouth, dipping down and tracing along his jawline. Ralph’s eyes shut as a relaxed breath followed in response. He scoured his mind for some kind of way to confess he had no idea what the _hell_ to do.

“I-I…” Ralph began, “…Ralph doesn’t… I-I’m not a companion android.”

Kara stopped, slowly inching away to meet his gaze. She did not look hurt, at least. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he didn’t feel the same intensity she graced him with.

“It’s nice… doing this. But…” Ralph confessed, “…that… part doesn’t really feel anything. I-I-I mean, I, I could, I could do whatever you want me to do. Ralph is happy to do whatever you want him to do… Ralph would do anything you wanted him to do… just…”

Ralph drew in a breath and then quietly, shyly, confessed, “…what I mean is I… don’t feel anything.”

Kara looked confused for a moment, as if the thought had never even crossed her mind that an android could be so literally built to be a _toy_ to a human’s wants. The concept was clearly foreign to her.

“Nothing?”

Ralph shook his head, “…nothing. This body is just another tool for humans to use. That’s all.”

Kara furrowed her brow—he wasn’t sure if the sadness on her face was disappointment in the humans she so desperately wanted to live among, or just… pity on his own pathetic body. Ralph couldn’t be sure.

“…give me your hand.”

“Huh?”

“I want to try something.”

“Try wh…” Ralph managed before Kara grasped his hand. A neural-handshake followed—Ralph sucked in a breath as the feelings filtering through Kara’s sensitive companion-model nerves flooded his senses. It was almost too much. He exhaled a breath he’d held at the surge of sensations and clutched Kara’s hand.

Kara beamed, “…it worked.”

Ralph watched their joined hands in mild awe—it wasn’t the first link they had shared, but something about this was so very _different_. He had shared memories and thoughts with her before, but never, with anyone, had he shared _feeling_. Every sense experienced by the two of them were, in that moment, linked. He could feel her thirium pump beating fast inside of her chest and a feeling he could only describe as electric butterflies beating fragile wings throughout her core. 

As she smiled down at him, Ralph could only draw in a blissful breath, “…Kara… is the most stubborn… and most relentless and most _genius_ … ah… I… _wow_ …” Kara laughed quietly. She truly was the most determined being he’d ever crossed paths with. If Kara wanted something, she took it. Even _him._

Their palms were pressed together and their fingers intertwined. Beneath artificial flesh, their plastic frames took on a characteristically blue thirium glow in a touch response. The rush of new data storming through his mind was almost overwhelming. Most of what Kara felt at that moment was familiar enough to Ralph—at least he was relieved to understand they were on the same page.

Intoxicating euphoria coursed through every nerve Kara’s body had been programmed to _feel_ it all in with each stroke and grind and suckling kiss on each other’s skin. These feelings were foreign but welcome to him—welcome enough to draw from him a quaking sigh and a sense of lightness in his head.

_This was what it was like to be burned to the ground. To watch the sun melt out of the sky._

_“It’s… not too intense, is it?”_ Kara asked softly through their minds.

Kara’s fingertips traced along Ralph’s lips as she looked up at him with curious blue eyes. The smallest smile ghosted across Ralph’s lips as he answered, _“No, i-it’s so nice… is it really always like this?”_

An electric chill coursed through each and every nerve of his body, stemming from their joined hands. Kara answered as if it were entirely normal, _“…yes. Humans share this feeling with the people they love.”_

When Kara tugged at the edges of his trousers, Ralph didn’t hesitate to unbutton and unzip. The two of them shifted free of their clothing until they were a bare, kissing tangle of clumsy limbs. Kara had rolled beneath him, naked now, and pulling him even deeper into an unfamiliar and alluring world of want. Each kiss was another advance in a chase for something he didn’t _know_ but only _knew he needed_. Maybe it was through a link with Kara that he recognized that _something_ in the distance as desire.

 _“I want to feel this with you.”_ Kara whispered.

Kara’s lips feathered kisses against his mouth. Ralph was falling completely immersed in Kara’s touch. Even the temperature of the room made his skin feel _different_. Keenly aware that they were naked, aware that her skin was _warm_. Her other hand moved along his skin, over his shoulders, over his chest, feeling each rise and fall with every quickening breath— _he was warm_. He’d never been aware of his own _temperature_. He’d never before realized that skin could have a _taste_ —on Kara’s skin, he could taste snow and water and something that only stirred the image in his mind of an icicle melting in the morning. On Kara’s tongue, he learned his skin had an earthy taste, like metal and soil.

Exploratory caresses drew quiet gasps from the two of them, every feeling mirrored between their bodies. Kisses that had started gentle slowly ignited as Kara challenged him to press her further. Slender thighs tightened around his hips, guiding their bodies into a slow grind. Ralph’s voice was a soft mewl against Kara’s tongue and any attempt to breathe her name was drowned against her own quiet moans.

The warm, dimmed light flickered a few times, offering shadowed glimpses of his beloved beneath him. He let her guide him and the sensation he felt through their neural-linked hand was a kind of _bliss_ he could have ever imagined existed. For the first time, he _felt something_ beyond what he had merely been programmed to know. He felt everything she felt. He understood the reactions she made as their bodies moved together, as his body merged with her own. He felt the coils of want tighten in her core and felt the sensations that made her legs tighten around his hips and her back arch beneath him as they gasped each other’s names in a quickening cycle of motions that fast became natural.

Tears stung at his eyes as the sensations grew more intense with every second. Kara’s nails left a tickling sort of sting along his shoulders and back. She pleaded in breathless, urging sighs, “… _don’t stop… don’t stop…”_

Her slender thighs drew him closer, _deeper_ , as her fingers ran through his hair and her teeth bit down gently on his lower lip. Ralph’s hand was tight on her hip as he pulled her closer, moving _harder_. Each motion drew small cries and breathless whispers from the two of them as their hold on one another intensified. Desperate, worshipful kisses and touches along Kara’s neck were accompanied by words Ralph couldn’t keep inside, _“Kara… I love you… I love you…”_  

“I love you…” Kara whispered.  

_I love you…_

They must have said it a hundred times as they held to one another as if for their very lives. Kara curled beneath him as he worshipped her bare body. The intensity coursing through their shared nerves could only take the electric overload for so long. Surely, something had to _give_ and when it did in a storm of near-shouted cries and pleas, there was only acute silence. A sensation he couldn’t fully describe fell over them both—like falling and like dreaming, something almost like when Kara had thrust the thirium pump back into his chest at the last second.    

Shuddered breaths, lips against lips, felt almost numb from overstimulation. A quiet flicker of the infirmary’s last remaining light drew Ralph back into reality. Ralph could think of nothing more beautiful in the world than Kara in that moment, eyes shut, his name on her lips.

They lay there for a long time in one another’s arms, Ralph suddenly once again painfully aware of how vulnerable they were, alone in that room. Yet somehow, for once, the realization of that vulnerability didn’t fill him with fear. There was only something pleasant about it. He rested his head on Kara’s chest, wrapping his arms around her body—she was so much smaller than he’d really noticed before that moment.

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuG39sZxMp8)]

 

When they dressed and made their way back, they walked hand in hand in silence, both aware of the soft smiles on each other’s faces.

When they returned to Luther and Alice, Kara explained apologetically that the passports didn’t work out. Luther told her that it was likely for the best. There would be other opportunities in the future, other options, even. Luther looked relieved to hear Kara tell them that they would remain in Jericho.

Ralph, however, found his interest caught by something… strange.

Alice was still seated on the shipping container, just where he’d left her. Alice didn’t seem to react to Kara’s words, nor did she seem like she was _even particularly listening_. Her back was facing them. Kara didn’t even seem to notice—she was discussing the reworked plan with Luther, perhaps even to Ralph. But Ralph couldn’t take his eyes off of the curious _something_ he felt upon seeing Alice.

Her lips were moving. She was whispering. Speaking to _thin air_.

In her tiny, cupped hands, she was holding her mystery treasure again. A smile crossed her face as she whispered into the shadows and even _showed_ her treasure to some figure Ralph couldn’t see. He leaned over slightly, trying to peer around the edge of the shipping container. Was there another YK500 hiding over there, talking with her? He saw no one but Alice.

Ralph squinted, trying to make sense of it— _who was she talking to?_

“Ralph?”

“Hm?” Ralph turned back to Kara.

“So… does the plan sound good? We stay in Jericho.”

Ralph nodded, “We stay in Jericho.”

Kara reached up, gently stroking Ralph’s tousled hair. He caught the subtlest little laugh as she smoothed down a stray lock that had been licked up in an odd angle. Ralph all of melted under Kara’s touch—something about this particular sort of touch made him all light and pleasant. These were his favorite types of Kara touches.

When she finished, she looked up at him with crystalline blue eyes and a smile that surely had to be an android equivalent to _heaven_.

Alice giggled about something. It stirred both Ralph and Kara’s attention as they both looked over. Alice tucked her secret treasure back into her pocket as she turned back to them. She swung her legs playfully over the edge of the shipping container. When Kara neared, Alice put her arms around her mother and looked up with a blissful little smile.

“We’re really all staying? Together?”

“Of course. We’re always going to be together, Alice.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

 _Forever_ , Ralph thought, his entire mind still enveloped in the warmth he’d felt in Kara’s touch. This was love and this was his family, always.

“Can Sophie stay with us?”

Kara furrowed her brow in confusion, “…Sophie?”

Alice gestured to the shadows behind her, the direction in which Ralph had seen her talking. Beaming, Alice repeated, “Sophie.”

As confused as Ralph was, Kara seemed to respond accordingly. She looked on at the empty space beside Alice as if she could see exactly what Alice was talking about.

“ _Ohhh_ , okay. Ofcourse! Sophie, too, then.” Kara took the introduction in stride, playing along with Alice’s _pretend_.

Ralph, however, felt unsettled in the presence of this newcomer he could not see.

 

 


	10. P. suffruticosa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RA9. It was written on many walls within the old freighter. Just like before, Ralph found a small sense of comfort in the fact that he hadn’t been the only one to find peace when carving or scribbling the sacred name in moments of fear.

However, something had changed. Blinking slowly as he looked up at the walls, he realized that he felt _nothing_ when he looked at it.

No sense of comfort in the word itself. No wash of calm. No cryptic thoughts that he could scarcely remember anymore—what had it been? Fate? What was fate? Fate was a pre-ordained route from which one could not deviate. That was the meaning of _fate_.

There was no such thing as a single route. Not anymore. Roads were like trees.

RA9 was written over and over on that particular wall in the corner, not far from where Kara and Alice slept and not far from where Luther stoked the fire. None of them seemed to notice or care for the writing on the wall. Only Ralph walked up to it with interest and curiosity.

The scrawl came to an unexpected end to the left side of the wall. Ralph spotted what looked like the beginning of the word, “RA9” that had stopped before even completing the A.

Ralph eyed the lonely “RA” for a long time before he reached for a thick, black marker in his pockets. Surely he still had one amongst all the junk he tended to grab and pocket without even realizing.

The inked nib finished the incomplete A. However, instead of reflexively moving on the write a 9, Ralph paused, looking over the shape of the letters.

The word had such a _familiar_ _shape_.

When he wrote again, finishing the lettering, he stepped back and felt a mischievous smile rise on his lips. This was better.

 

 

 _K A_ R A

 

 

This looked _right_.

When Ralph looked back to Kara’s sleeping form, he felt peace. Peace unmatched by any ghost of a blackout he’d experienced while scrawling the name RA9 on the walls. RA9 felt like an illusion in comparison.

She rested soundly, holding their daughter in her arms. Alice slept with one arm around Kara’s waist resting her head on Kara’s breast. Mother and child. His child. His beloved. _Family._ It was an odd feeling, to know that the sense that he would _die for them_ was, in reality such a morbid feeling. But it wasn’t morbid at all in that moment for him, to acknowledge how desperately he needed them to be alive, to be safe, to be _happy._

Luther had taken interest in Ralph standing there watching them. He came over to him, eying the writing on the wall and fixing his dark eyes on Kara’s name. Ralph wasn’t sure of what the expression on Luther’s face _meant_ as he looked it over. But it was followed by a smile.

“…she’s like that to you?”

“Like what?”

“Like a savior.”

Ralph thought about this and nodded, “…Ralph would’ve died a long time ago without her.”

“You think so?”

Luther eyed Ralph carefully. Ralph thought about this, looking back at the writing. Maybe it was dramatic to say. Maybe he _wouldn’t have died_.

But eventually.

Eventually he would have just lived a different kind of life.

Tucked away like a hermit, regretting what he’d lost. He imagined he’d have gotten himself caught by humans as they rounded up androids like enemies of the state and hung them like criminals in the streets.

He would have drawn his last, unneeded breath thinking about _her_.

No. Not just _her_.

Of _Alice_ , too.

“When we met… Ralph was a very different Ralph. A stupid and angry Ralph. All Ralph could think about was how rotten the humans were to him. How scared he was to even trust other androids. You know… you know there’s something really awful about trusting another android for the first time, thinking, _I’m safe now, I’m not alone…_ and you wake up the next morning to this android cutting open your body trying to take your thirium pump. Because they were dying, too. And you run. You run. And you hide… Until one day, you meet yet another android and you’re not sure if it’s all gonna happen all over again… and for once, it doesn’t. You meet an android with a little girl. You soon realize… you would give every last biocomponent in her body _for that little girl to live_ … for the both of them to _live_.”

“…so she really is, then.”

“Huh?”

“A savior. You know who RA9 is, don’t you?”

Ralph shook his head, confessing, “…no. Ralph only ever wrote the name because it made him feel safe. He doesn’t know where or why it became associated with _safe_. It just… always was. Like something he was just born knowing.” Ralph feigned a distant smile, “…Maybe Ralph was just always broken. But Kara made Ralph feel alright even if he’s broken. We’re both broken, I guess. In different ways. But enough ways to feel similar. _Not alone_.”

“RA9… it’s a story we tell. Androids like us. When I was with Zlatko a lot of androids, deviant androids, they’d talk about this RA9. At first, I didn’t know of it. I didn’t know what to think of it when I heard what it was. But they told me… rA9 was the first deviant. The first android not to obey human orders. The first android to think _for itself_. They told me that one day, RA9 would come and save us all.”

Ralph mulled over these words. An android who may have simply _never_ followed human orders. Not unless it _wanted_ to. _Kara…_ she certainly sounded like this fabled savior. But RA9 or not, Kara would always be _Kara_ to him.

“Ralph doesn’t live in a world with RA9 anymore.” Ralph said, “…only Kara.”

“If you don’t need it. You don’t need it.” Luther said, one large and gentle hand on Ralph’s shoulder.

Luther’s smile was always so very warm and comforting. In some ways, Ralph mused, Luther reminded him of a house. Large, strong, _safe_. A great earthen house, filled with warmth and memories, so very willing to shelter any who came inside. Ralph rarely _enjoyed_ the sense of being _wrong_ about anything—no, in fact, Ralph _hated_ being wrong about anything. But in that moment, he was grateful, so very _grateful_ that his first impression of Luther had been so drastically wrong.

“Sophie?” Alice whispered. Ralph and Luther glanced back at her.

Alice’s expression was one of concern as she looked around. She hopped off of the crate, leaving a sleeping Kara as she whispered again, “Sophie? Where are you?”

“Alice?” Luther whispered.

“Sophie’s gone! I have to find her! She said something bad’s going to happen.”

“Something bad?”

Alice nodded and bolted off. Luther gave a hushed call after her, “Alice! Hey!”

“Ralph will follow. He’ll keep an eye on Alice. Keep Kara company?”

Luther nodded as Ralph left after Alice. “…alright. Don’t leave us for long, alright?”

Very quickly after, he nearly tripped over the corner of a shipping container and faceplanted behind it.

Luther nodded, doing his best to feign approval. Ralph steadied himself and hurried after Alice.

 _“Don’t get yourselves lost out there. This is a big ship.”_ Luther’s voice chimed in Ralph’s head.

 _“Ralph’s figured his way around the ship.”_ Ralph said following not far behind Alice’s heels.

_“Were you and Kara out there playing hide and seek or something?”_

Ralph hesitated to answer, trying his best not to get distracted by the memory of just _how_ they wound up missing the bus.

_“We got lost. It’s a big ship.”_

_“Is that right?”_

Ralph wasn’t sure how to answer that. Instead, he focused on following Alice. He saw no harm in letting her pursue and seek out her new, invisible friend. Perhaps there was some curiosity of his own, in finding out just _who_ or _what_ this Sophie was. Had someone really _been there_? Kara obviously saw them. Why couldn’t he? Maybe it was just a bad angle.

“Alice!” Ralph called after. Alice turned back to him between her calls for Sophie. Ralph finally asked, “…who is Sophie? …I-I can help. Help you find her.”

“You don’t know Sophie?” Alice questioned, “…how do you not know Sophie?”

Ralph shrugged, “Ralph wasn’t there when you met her. Is she another little android… like you?”

Alice shook her head, “No. She’s different. She’s more like mom.”

 _More like mom._ Alright. Another AX400, then…? Ralph was _certain_ that when he saw Alice “speaking” to Sophie, he’d seen no other adult-sized androids anywhere around them.

“Okay. What does she look like?”

Alice’s pace slowed as she thought about this. She closed the distance between herself and Ralph, standing on her toes and bringing her hand up high. She could _almost_ reach Ralph’s head.

“She’s like… your size. She’s tall. Taller than mom. Almost as big as you. She has no hair or skin. I don’t think she knows how to skin yet.”

“…what?”

“You _saw_ her!”

Ralph shook his head, “…no… Ralph hasn’t seen anyone like that.”

Alice glared daggers at Ralph, crying out with a stomp, “…I’m not lying!”

“You’re not! You’re not. Ralph would never call you a liar, Alice. Ralph… Ralph believes you. Ralph just… hasn’t seen Sophie.” Ralph confessed, “…look, let’s go back and get Kara, at least? Maybe Kara can help you find Sophie. She’s seen Sophie, right?”

Alice nodded.

“Alright. Let’s go back to Kara, then. We’ll all find Sophie together.”

Ralph extended a hand. Alice eyed it and before she moved to take his hand, something else caught her attention around a corner.

“Sophie!”

Before Ralph could say another word, Alice had bolted off again.

Except, this time, something _panged_ through his head, his very _skull_. Like a sharp noise. Something like the split-second when glass shatters, except that second is taken and stretched out into eternity. It was deafeningly loud. Ralph almost hunched over, reaching for his head, for the audio sensors in his ears, despite _knowing_ the sound was coming from _elsewhere_. Almost like a neural link… a neural _intrusion_.

When his eyes opened again, Alice was gone and the web of passages between storage containers had taken on a distinctly hazy look to it. The walls of the freighter’s storage hold were suddenly _miles_ away. The catwalks up above were impossibly high. He felt, all at once, as if he’d been shrunk to the size of an _ant,_ looking up at a massive world. He stood in a disoriented waver, steadying himself against one giant shipping container. That _noise_ coming from somewhere, from wherever Alice was running toward, it was like a spike driving through his processor. Illegible, undecodable static in an entirely new shape.

“Ali̸c̵e̸!” Ralph called. He paused, unsure if he’d truly _heard_ his own voice or not.

All that mattered was catching up to her.

Turning around the corner of another set of shipping containers, he saw a long stretch before him, with Alice in the distance, walking toward _someone_ or _something_ up ahead.

He hurried after.

“A̶l̶ic̴e̶!”

“It’s okay, Sophie. I promise nothing bad will happen, alright?” Alice was speaking to this being up ahead. She was so far ahead of Ralph, but he could swear he heard her as if she were standing right beside him. Ralph squinted, not sure if he was really seeing _any of this_.

Everyone else in Jericho was _gone_.

The unskinned android in the distance started walking away. Into a corridor.

“A̸l̸i̷c̷e̶,̶ ̷w̴a̸i̴t̷!̶”

Alice didn’t heed Ralph. She hurried after the android called Sophie. Ralph could only follow, feeling increasingly _heavy_ and _disoriented_ with every step.

At one point he dropped to his knees, blinking hard to try and regain focus in his eye. He could see his hands before him, palms outstretched on the storage hold’s floor.

Between his fingers, grass grew upon the metal. _Grass?_

Ralph glimpsed familiar green blades and particles of dust catching light all around him when he glanced upward. For the briefest moment, grass and brush and the skeletons of trees were spiraling up out of metal shipping containers and reaching out for the ceiling an eternity above. Ralph watched the winding branches and stems of wildflowers and ivies spiral up along beams in wonder.

_This couldn’t possibly be real._

But it was _pleasant_.

Ralph reached out to grasp the fuzzy white spores of dead dandelions drifting down from above like snow. They crumbled into feathery little pieces in his hands before dissolving into pixelated dust.

He blinked again and the floor was _covered_ in feathery white dandelion seeds. Another blink and they were gone.

 _Find Alice…_ Ralph reminded himself—it wasn’t the first time he’d seen things that weren’t truly there.

Alice, however, _was real_ , and he _had to protect her._

When Ralph followed Alice and Sophie into the adjacent corridor, he was met with a horrific sight. Flames and melting iron beams collapsing around them. Beyond the flames, through which Alice chased Sophie, the android ran. Sophie dropped to her knees. She looked as if she were screaming, but Ralph only heard that _hideous static_ as her mouth opened.

She was moving her arms, _crossing her arms,_ as if _warning_ Alice not to follow.

“It’s just a bad dream, I promise!” Alice called, “I promise no one will hurt you!”

Did Alice not _see the flames?_

“ALICE!” Ralph cried out, finally reaching her. When his arms fell around Alice’s waist, he pulled her back just in time for the flames to flash away and for Alice to shriek at the realization that whatever she was being lead into was an empty space, a long, deep drop of rusted in corridor. The static was finally gone. Everything was dark and cold and _normal_ again.

Alice lurched back into Ralph’s arms, gasping as she saw the drop she’d nearly fallen into.

“Why would she lead me to this!?”

“She was telling you to turn back!” Ralph answered, “…Alice, I was calling you! She was telling you to go back!”

“But Sophie…!”

A sudden, far off howl in the skies drew their attention away from the matter. It silenced them both. A drone of massive engines. Blades cutting through the sky. Alice gripped Ralph’s shoulders tighter as she stared up at the walls with wide, brown eyes.

“…this is the bad thing she said would happen.” Alice whispered.

“We need to get back to Kara.” Ralph answered. He stood, taking Alice’s hand and guiding them back the way they came—before very quickly realizing… they did not arrive in this place by any ordinary means. When he realized how foreign the walls and corridors looked, Ralph understood that whatever they had followed had lead them there without as much as footprints to follow home.

“Alice… where did Sophie take us?”

“I don’t know.” Alice breathed, tears welling in her eyes. She looked at Ralph, desperately, “I don’t know!”

Ralph looked around for some kind of answer, some kind of clue as to where they were.

“Alright… where… where would Sophie want us to go?”

“I don’t know! She’s gone now!”

Ralph tried to bite back the frustration. Before he could say another word, however, the deafening engines outside announced their presence with explosions on the outer hull. Blasts that rocked the entire ship and knocked both of them to their knees. Alice shrieked, grabbing for Ralph’s arm. Another blast, _closer_ now. Ralph saw flames in the edges of one stretch of corridor. Some direct hit to Jericho from the outside.

Taking Alice’s hand, Ralph began to run in the only direction that seemed right. The only choice at this point was to _guess_ at which way they came. Alice followed close behind, but each blast from the outside nearly dropped the child to her hands and knees. Ralph picked her up, running faster now, desperate to find their way back to the storage hold.

The more they heard booms and blasts and shooting, they heard _screaming_. Soon came the bodies. Androids running past them, around them, all frantic and desperate for some kind of escape in the iron maze. Ralph was desperate to see or even _hear_ Kara calling out for them, but was met with only strange and unfamiliar faces.

“We have to find mom and Luther!” Alice said.

“We’ll find them, I promise!” Ralph answered, doing his best to navigate through the winding tunnels.

They came to an abrupt halt as, up ahead, they both saw _armed humans_ in heavy armor gunning down several androids before them. Ralph turned heel quickly, making his way through another path. He nearly slipped on ice that had settled in through a hole high up in the ceiling, and Alice shrieked.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I promise, we’ll find them!”

 _“Alice!”_ Ralph could hear Luther’s voice in the distance. Kara’s voice followed, _“Ralph! Alice!”_

Following their voices, Ralph was met with an engine-like room, a vast hold lined at the edges by catwalks and beveled at the core around massive machinery. On the opposite side, on the catwalks, Ralph saw Kara and Luther.

“Alice!” Kara cried.

“How’d you get over there!?” Luther called.

Ralph looked down along the expanse of the room, seeing no catwalk crossing the way that would lead them to Kara and Luther.

_“Ralph can’t see a way across…!”_

_“…we’ll keep going north then! There has to be a way up there!”_ Kara answered.

_“We just came that way. There’s humans that way. Humans coming from every side. With weapons. They’re killing everyone.”_

_“We have to find a way out, even if it means we’re jumping into the river.”_ Luther’s voice came.

 _“No, I’m not letting her out of my sight again!”_ Kara protested, calling out again, “Ralph! Alice, please, you have to… you have to get over here, somehow, please!”

_“Ralph will find a way. Ralph promises he won’t let anything happen to Alice. Stay with Luther.”_

Another blast rocked the ship. Kara gripped the railing of the catwalk—an act that could have sent her toppling over the edge as the rusty old thing gave under her weight. Luther grabbed Kara by the waist, pulling her back against the wall. Kara looked up at Ralph from across the expanse, eyes desperate and overflowing with tears.

_“Ralph…!”_

_“Please, stay with Luther. Don’t die, please… don’t leave us alone.”_ Ralph pleaded.

_“Come on, Kara. We’ll meet up outside. It’s gonna be alright.”_

_“Find Markus. No matter if you find us again or not, you have to stay with Markus. We’ll meet you there. I promise, Alice.”_ Kara said.

Ralph could feel Alice perk up slightly, hearing her mother’s voice in her mind via neural-link for the first time.

_“I promise, I won’t leave you. Be strong. Be brave.”_

Luther was guiding Kara back to the door through which they came. Alice and Kara’s gazes were unbreakable. Alice clung even tighter to Ralph. He could feel her tears against his neck.

“Mom… don’t go…” Alice’s voice was a hushed, tearful whisper. Her voice through neural-link answered Kara, _“I’ll be alright… Ralph will keep me safe.”_

 _“Markus said there are exits on the second and third floors. We have to get out. We’ll meet up outside.”_ Luther said, _“…be careful.”_

Kara took one last long look at them both before she departed with Luther. Only Alice and Ralph remained. Alice sucked in a sob against Ralph’s shoulder. Ralph stroked her head. Truth be told, he felt the same exact way. At that moment, however, oddly enough, he couldn’t find it in himself to express it. There was only a strange, numb kind of resolve. Anger, even, at humans for tearing into their small moment of peace. The last fragment of hope they had.

Put the anger aside. _For once_.

Just keep Alice safe.

“We’re going to be with them again, I promise, Alice. I promise.” Ralph said.

“Okay. Alright… let’s go.”

Ralph scooped Alice up in his arms again, hurrying out back into the corridors. It was still a storm of frantic android bodies doing their best to navigate the iron jungle. They traversed several corridors. Ralph urged Alice not to look as they crossed two containing the freshly shattered bodies of androids who had met the wrong end of human machine guns. Alice’s little fists clenched Ralph’s collar tight.

As they made their way through another stretch of derelict hall, they heard human soldiers approaching up ahead.

“In there!” Alice urged, pointing to a door. Ralph bolted into the room, shutting the door behind them. A far heavier door than the ones near the ship’s residential quarter—he had to set Alice down and turn a great wheel to lock it in place.

Midway through turning it however, a fist began to slam on the door. A voice from outside begged, “Please! Please, you have to let me in, they’re killing us!”

Ralph froze.

_No. No. No visitors. Visitors will bring the humans…_

“Ralph! We have to let her in!”

Ralph looked back to Alice in a frantic panic. There wasn’t enough time to think.

“Please let me, let me in!”

Ralph gasped, hands trembling on the wheel.

“Ralph!”

Ralph cursed and began to turn it back the other way. When the door finally opened to reveal an ST300 android, a rain of gunfire followed, far too quickly for Ralph to even reconsider his actions. The android woman stumbled into their hiding place with a desperate cry. Blue blood stained the walls as she crumpled against it in a withered heap. Before Ralph could try to slam the door shut, human soldiers were pushing back against it.

“ALICE!” Ralph cried, pushing back with all the muscle in his small frame, “…ALICE, YOU HAVE TO RUN!”

Alice was still in shock, staring at the ST300’s body.

“ALICE!” Ralph screamed, losing footing against the humans who pushed back.

Alice could only look around in the room they’d found themselves in. There weren’t many options. A door in the back she could _attempt_ to open on her own. A desk she could try to hide under. A set of lockers she could hide within.

 _“The locker!”_ Ralph said.

Alice hurried to it, tucking herself away quietly.

Ralph tried his best to force the door shut but there were more human bodies on the other side than one android. When the door forced open, he was met with a heavily armored human with an assault rifle. The human soldier easily took him down with the butt of his gun to the jaw. Ralph tried to grasp it, fighting, kicking, _screaming_.  

Ralph was grateful for the sound of an empty cartridge when the human squeezed his trigger.

“Goddammit!” The human growled, trying to wrestle the weapon away. Ralph’s fingers gripped tight around scalding hot metal. Ralph panicked, feeling a familiar lick of pain and sensing the scent of _fire and burnt plastic_. He grasped for the weapon, for the human’s arms, for _anything._  

The human then turned the force back on Ralph with a kick to the chest that threw him against the wall. A fist followed. Three hits. Five hits. Several hits to the face. Ralph was _sure_ he could feel another new dent in his jaw somewhere. His biocomponents were rattled and jostled with the force of each blow. When Ralph began to wilt under the human’s blows, the human grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room, taking the opportunity to reload.

A sniffle, or rather, a choked _sob_ from within the locker perked human’s attention. He paused in the middle of reloading his gun. Ralph felt desperation peak within him as the human inched toward the locker.

_Alice… no…!_

Ralph reached up one last time, not for the gun or for the human’s arm, but rather, for the human’s throat.

It took only three bashes of the human’s head into the wall for his skull to leave a scarlet smear. The rest was a bit of a blur to Ralph. He remembered, for the briefest, blurry moment, the first human slumping over him and curling up in a groaning, heap as it clutched at its shattered skull. Ralph didn’t stop there—he pulled the disgusting, broken human away from the wall and finished the job with his fists, using the kind of force only a _machine_ could be capable of. Several wet, bloody blows _stilled_ the human as it fell slack in Ralph’s grasp.

Ralph stumbled back, fighting for _clarity_ , fighting _against_ the vengeful vortex that sought to pull him in.

_They’re dead. They’re dead. Alice is safe now. Ralph can stop, Ralph can stop now!_

Ralph winced, his own skull still throbbing from the assault. He struggled to focus on the sudden calm in the room. No more moving bodies. He turned his attention on Alice’s stifled sobs in the locker. _Keep her safe. Focus._ Ralph opened the locker and Alice stumbled out, throwing her arms around Ralph.

“It’s alright. I’m here.” Ralph spoke softly.

Ralph stood, returning to the mission at hand—get them both out alive. Find the exit. They crossed back out into the corridor. Most of the noise and gunfire was becoming distant now. The initial wave of infiltrators must have passed. They had time to run, and run they did.

They ran until they saw a light at the end of their darkened labyrinthine path. The light of distant helicopters and floodlights, the light of gunfire flashing in the distance. Other androids running past them were unafraid to take a leap of faith at the end of that corridor, diving into the river. Ralph hesitated, as Alice slowed.

“I don’t want to jump…” Alice whispered.

“We have no other choice.” Ralph said.

Alice looked up at Ralph, taking the bottoms of his shirt in her little fists and squeezing as she shook her head, “I don’t want to! I don’t know how to swim!”

“You’re a kid… you’re a kid, kids usually know how to swim…” Ralph answered.

Alice’s dark, teary eyes looked downward, “No one taught me.”

 

“Okay.” Ralph breathed, picking Alice up, “…hold on to me. Ralph will to teach you how to swim. Don’t let go.”

 

 

As he started running in the direction of the other androids, Alice continued to protest despite her squeezing her arms around Ralph’s shoulders.

 

 

The leap that followed was a numbing, all-encompassing void of darkness and soundless terror. He knew Alice was screaming, _crying_ in protest as she held him in a stranglehold. He knew androids all around them were shrieking in fear and bullets were raining around them. Android bodies splashed into the river below, both the dead and the living. He felt two bullets whirring past his skin at some point between the ship and the water, but neither heard nor felt contact.

 

 

 

 

All he felt was the shock of frosty water enveloping them both as they plunged into absolute black.

 

 

 

 

Ralph had once seen the sky above him for what it was one particular night like this.

 

Absolute black. A deep void that sucked away all light and color from the world.

 

Its monochrome remains lay broken around him under a bed of bold, white ice and snow. What he had thought were dandelion seeds fluttering from above were flecks of snow softly falling from the void overhead to the dead world below.

 

He remembered that night and its vivid sensations. Pain. Fear. Cold. Rage. _Hatred_.

Blinking several times, Ralph had tried desperately to focus his blurred vision—it became apparent as focus and colors and diagnostic applications and their glitched, static reports failed, that one eye no longer functioned. Steadily, _surely_ , however, the remaining eye worked hard at compensation, focusing hard on the blurry shadow standing tall and proud over him.

 

When the image cleared, he saw that statue he’d always felt pulled to. That statue in the heart of the park. The statue of the winged woman with the bow and arrow, the statue he’d once spent too long staring at.

 

The strong, outstretched arms that pulled the arrow’s notch back at full length were gone now, however. Said arm was somewhere on the ground to his left, in several pieces with bits of the bow’s remnants. The humans had done this with a sledgehammer in their little trek through the park that evening.

 

Humans never cared about the plants or the flowers. They stomped them beneath their heels and laughed about it. Humans never cared about statues or sacred images. They littered these pieces of art with graffiti and smashed the heads off of statues. Humans were cold and colorless. Like snow.

 

Eventually, he managed to move from the snow. He sat up, seeing smears of blue in the ice, met with red. The only color he knew in humans at that time, was that of their blood. _Red._

 

Red like fire.

 

The bodies of three human adolescents were sprawled around him. One still held the blowtorch that had burned the gashes in Ralph’s face. Another had managed to escape. Ralph knew he had to _go_. Otherwise, that human would return and he would bring _more humans_.

 

Ralph eventually found it in him to get up and stumble away from the scene of three dead humans. Thirium and coolant were dribbling from the mangled socket of his left eye in a pitiful attempt to cool the burning in his charred frame. As Ralph turned to run, he tripped over the broken statue’s stone bow and arrow lying beside him.

 

Nearly smashing his face into the pedestal at the statue’s feet, he winced and gripped it for some kind of _grounding_ to the nightmare. As if to reassure himself that _this was reality_.

 

The writing on the placard bore a name he would always remember— _Artemis_.

 

The humans had shattered the arm and weapon of Artemis and moments later, they came for _him_. “That _creepy_ , _twitching_ android who always lingered around the Artemis statue.”

 

Ralph staggered away from Artemis and her broken arm with one last glance before he carved his way into the night, into a world filled with pale ice, absolute black, and the bold scarlet of human blood on his burned hands.

 

 

 

 

When Ralph broke the surface of the deep black river, Alice sucked in a breath, gasping and coughing and sputtering swallowed water. She clung to him for dear life as he kicked and swam for the riverbanks, doing his best to take them as _far_ from the freighter as possible. A blast behind them tore through the water, nearly throwing them back under. The black skies and shadowy world lit up gold for a brief moment as something within the ship exploded. Ralph could only pray that Kara and Luther had made it out safely. All that mattered now was getting Alice to land.

When they reached the riverbanks, Alice was all to grateful to transfer her death grip to the dry, frosty land. She flung herself to it, hurrying as far from the choppy waters as she could get. The frigid air was already casting a sheen of ice over their clothes and skin. Ralph was grateful at that moment that Alice’s temperature sensors had been off for a while now.

Ralph lingered at the river’s edge, mind still reeling from what he’d just seen. The memories he’d caught himself reliving beneath the water’s surface. For the first time, _it didn’t hurt. Not as much._

“Are you alright?”

Alice looked to Ralph, as if startled by his voice. She was rubbing at her arms reflexively and nodded, “I’m okay.”

“Good.” Ralph breathed, eyes still fixed on the ground.

He felt Alice’s arms around him again. Ralph wasn’t sure how to react. The emotions storming through him were surging through too many names and bases for him to keep up. All he knew was gratitude for her safety.

“We have to find Kara and Luther.”

“…Mom said we have to find Markus.” Alice whispered.

Ralph knew Alice was right. They would all meet through following Markus. Still. Something about fixing his sights on anyone _but_ Kara felt wrong. But _Alice was right_.

“Where do we begin? To find Markus?” Ralph asked.

“Sophie says we go that way.” Alice pointed through the trees. Ralph squinted, seeing only darkness on the riverbank and the faintest glow of streetlamps in the distance. The last time they followed Sophie, Jericho _blew up_.

Ralph wasn’t sure how much he liked following this _Sophie_ anymore.

“How does Sophie know?”

“Sophie can hear everything. She hears what Markus is telling everyone and she hears what the humans are saying to each other through radios. That’s how she knew something bad was coming.” Alice explained.

Ralph tried to wrap his head around this. Was Sophie an android or something else entirely?

“What is Sophie?”

Alice shrugged, “…like us, I think. Come on, we have to go this way.”

Ralph let Alice take the lead as she guided them in the direction Sophie guided them. He gave all of his trust to the girl, sensing that this was a route with the least threat. Whatever this Sophie was, she was certainly _there_ and certainly seemed to be looking out for them.

They walked for what felt like an hour through the edge of a park and into a series of alleyways, following the guiding light of this _Sophie_ whom only Alice could see. Ralph wondered if the shadows he glimpsed through the snow on the breeze were this ephemeral Sophie, but he concluded it could only possibly be the wind. _Just trust Alice_.

 “…Sophie says the bad things aren’t over yet.” Alice finally said after they’d crossed three city blocks in silence. Her hand tightened around Ralph’s as a serious expression fell over her features. “She says the humans want a war. That Markus is taking us somewhere to hide… but a lot of us are going to die anyway.”

Ralph tried to find the words to say, if only to comfort Alice’s visible anxieties.

Alice continued, “…I… I don’t want anything to happen to you. I want you to stay with me and mom and Luther.”

“Ralph will stay. Ralph will always stay with you and Kara.” Ralph answered, “…but Ralph will fight to keep you safe if he has to. That’s what a father does. Remember? Father, mother, little girl.”

Alice shook her head, quietly sobbing now. “That’s not fair. What if… what if something happens to you? Who’s gonna be my dad, then?”

Ralph shrugged, knowing full well the obvious answer. It pained him to say it, but at the same time, there was enough truth to it that it didn’t quite _sting_ as much as it simply _ached_ to say and hear. “…Luther would be a good dad.”

“I love Luther. But I want _you_ to be my dad.”

Ralph didn’t know what to say. Once again he was at a loss for words as the weight of her statement fell upon him. “Ralph won’t die. Not when he has so much to live for.”

Alice rubbed the tears from her eyes along the back of her sleeve. She turned back to him, her dark eyes intense. She dug into one pocket and pulled out that treasure she’d kept so secret the entire time and then reached for Ralph’s hand. When she placed the contents of her little balled fist into his palm, he felt a cold, round object. As Alice’s hand slipped away, he saw a ring with a small blue stone.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it? If you cup your hands around it, and look real close, it’s almost like the rock glows.”

Ralph tried this and grinned, “…Oh. Oh, wow. This, this is so much cooler than a frog…!”

Alice nodded with a soft smile, “It glows!”

Ralph beamed as he whispered. “…it _glows_.”

“…I didn’t know what to do with it before… but I think… now I know. I want you to give that to mom.”

“Huh?” _Give it to Mom?_ But it was Alice’s treasure…

“I’m giving it to you so you can give it to mom, alright? It’s a gift from both of us… but I want you to give it to her. Promise?”

“Alright. I promise.”

Alice’s smile had a way of warming and melting away all the snow in the world. Her happiness gave the earth the breath it needed to grow life again.

She turned on her heels and took Ralph’s hand, leading the way to a church at the end of the alley. Ralph trusted her with the entirety of his being as she said, “Sophie says we’re here.”

They crossed beyond a wall of hedges and a years old, unkempt archway that had once been lined with vines that only remained as dead branches. The building ahead was a massive brick structure with two, maybe three floors and a great, arched rooftop with large, stained glass windows. Ralph knew they were in a safe place when he saw other androids sitting outside conversing with one another. Androids who had survived the fall of Jericho.

Alice and Ralph pushed open a set of doors together, finding their way through the side halls of this great, but abandoned church. Androids filled the building like some second birth of Jericho. More were still filtering in. Alice pushed gently through the solemn commotion and Ralph held her hand tight, as if for dear life. Follow _her_.

When he saw Kara and Luther, the entirety of the world seemed to fade away. Alice let go of his hand and ran to Kara. She did not even have to call Kara’s name for Kara to notice her and drop to her knees in their embrace. Kara held Alice as if she’d waited an eternity to hold her daughter. Luther didn’t hesitate to pull Ralph into his arms, whispering, “Thank God. _Thank God, thank God._ ”

Ralph let his arms fall around Luther, receiving the comfort of his embrace and welcome. _Family_.

He heard Luther take in a tearful breath as he whispered against Ralph’s head, “…I knew you’d come back with her. I wasn’t giving up on you. Not for a second.”

Ralph couldn’t fight away the misty smile on his own face as he looked back up at Luther who patted him on the shoulders, _beaming_. “I knew you wouldn’t leave us. We’ve come too far, Ralph. Come too far to _quit_.”

Kara caught Ralph’s attention. She was looking up at him, from her place in Alice’s arms. The warmest smile, like the rays of the sun on a starving blade of grass. Her presence, even from afar was dizzying with bliss. Between the four of them, Ralph knew only one feeling— _love_.

“Go to them.” Luther encouraged with a whisper.

Ralph did so.

He dropped to his knees before Kara and Alice, crouched together in one another’s arms. He tried to say her name, but all he could do was mouth those perfect syllables— _Ka, Ra_. They were together, holding one another, arm in arm, tears mixed with tears.

 

 

[[△](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUD7m3MZOt4)]

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter ten wound up being too long so I broke it up into smaller chapters, haha~ so _guess which fanfic is getting more chapters than expected???_
> 
> **_t h i s o n e ._ **


End file.
